The PESH Deli for updiffed BESHes who love prunes and smell of wee wees

[rollerbaby]

BESH BABYWIN STATS

This isn't a fucking list - right?

BESH BAYBEES
dontrythisathome, Bay Amaryllis born March 25.
Cheggers, twinz girlz, born April 12

UPDIFFED
FannyPriceless, her pelvis went menkul, due June 14
CUNextTuesday, takes no shit from the Daily Mail, due June 28
IggyPiggy, The one who loves BUMSEX, due July 20
CurlyCasper, hospital botherer due July 21 (girl)
Skihorse, cradle snatching web geek, due July 22 (boy)
Carrots, organic hippy hunter, due July 25 (boy)
Cosmosis, the one that likes a good ride, due August 22
backinthebox, she bought a racehorse, due September 6
skatergrrrl, the one that overtook the rest, September ??
VAG, lives in De Nile, due 19 September
Honeymoo, no it's not fucking indigestion, due November 2
silversky, the biggest farter, due 21 October (first baybee)
okiecokie, self-confessed control freak, due November 6
SomethingSuitablyWitty, benelux babe, due November
ReginaMonologue, must-get-the-goss-from-ski, due November 20

Silver have you already signed up and been accepted for NCT class? Where I am (in that there London) you have to get in pretty quick. I iz doing the refresher course and enrolled at 8 weeks and already have list of dates for when course runs. Usually they are about 8-10 weeks before due date. Give them a call.

I worked til 12 days before due date last time. Had three weeks off in total as he was 8 days late but I will be finishing earlier this time tho' (in order to sleep during the day!)

silver I applied for NCT course at 12 weeks and received dates for the course to start 2 months before I'm due - I'd get in there quick, from what I understand they can get booked up ever so quickly.

Me is lucky enough to be my own boss so I'll be giving up when I feel like it and have secured enough money in the baby fund. Working from has it's advantages, and from what my accountant tells me I can still get maternity pay from the government - nice!

Silver hurry on NCT front. I booked mine as soon as I found out I was knocked up!!!!

oh Reggie I've gone all emotional so pleased to hear news.

had a fabbo weekend dahn sarf with parent and step parent. was lovely.

pah to being back at work

Just on here v. quickly...

Yay for reg so very pleased for you!

Everyone else - quick wave - have changed office - can't really get on here any more during the day - and rarely on computer in evenings... may have to be back in 2 weeks time once am into maternity leave.

BUMSEX to all in the meantime.

Girls, I need some ideas for our NCT magazine.

Can you tell me what you would like to read about? Any concerns or areas you would like to see discussed? EG crying-it-out V babywearing, or when to wean, or well I don't know that's why I'm asking. Any aspects of baby care that you would like to know more about.

ta muchly.

rots I think:

i) an article telling women that they're going to be patronised from all sides and that they should trust their own instincts and tell others to fuck off.

ii) Sex - when is it really "safe"? I've read recently that you can go at it from day 1 - if you want to!

iii) How long should you try and wait before conceiving number 2 - especially in light of us decrepid old PESH's.

fanny I hope you're doing OK in your morphine-induced state. We are anxiously awaiting baybee photos.

cossie Did the doting grandparents approve of Artie's first portfolio?

silver I think it's a bit of a toss-up, here I have to finish at 36 weeks - however due to a bit of jiggery-pokery with dates and Julian's size it's more like 37 - which of course is considered a healthy full-term. I'd like at least ONE week at home to lie prone before my vagina is ripped in to the size of a cantaloupe and my life is changed forever. Fine line between getting bored and not having any time for yourself though. One of my colleagues last year finished on the friday night and stayed late to try and tie up some loose ends... Monday morning 2am went in to labour - so her entire maternity leave consisted of one weekend.

This ML thing isn't all it's cracked up to be

Bitches! I just was troughing gently munching my way thru can of pear halves which I had finished and was slurping the juice to find a frigging bug!!!

Now I am terrified! What if it's some tropical beast!? Its been on the can for how long???? The fruit juice wil have been contaminated- right!?

Dont know what to do!?

Anyone?

silver Have 3 shots of tequila - it'll kill all bugs.

cunty Same as above ^ for you.

silver if you didn't actually eat the bug, send it to the manufacturer who will probably send you a years' supply of pear halves, especially if you mention that you're pregnant and act all shock-horrored.

I'm not entirely sure that they grow pears in tropical climes anyway and clearly a bit of extra protein is a good thing. Yum yum.

ski thanks for those really useful suggestions. "Hey, NCT middle class white ladies who are all married, tell anyone who gives you advice to FUCK OFF".

Anyone actually got anything I can use?

sigh

rots:

1. why you should not let your other half bugger off during the third tri. Even if you are physically capable, the mental implications are horrible.

1. how you will be a good mum even if you find yourself incapable of keeping a generally very lazy dog amused

1. How it is ok to be a bit of a misery guts and want to stay in and not put on a fake smile when pregnant.

1. - and a bit more seriously - how the buggery one tells the difference between Braxton Hicks and the baby generally being awkward. (these can't all be contractions, otherwise I'd be on a labour ward by now!)

1. How to get your house/finances/paperwork in order while interested only in sleeping, eating and watching old episodes of Dr Who.

Guess I should be more productive tomorrow...

where's that tequila?

p.s silver please don't fret about the bug.

Others: If you find out you are having a girl, stay in touch - I have a lot of lovely stuff that is likely to be worn just the once unless my baby is tres ickle.

Thank you. Am so effing paranoid. I am sending the bug back to the bloody mfr. The pears were tinned in South Africa.

Got myself all worried, stressed and tense. See it does not pay to be healthy.

Don't worry Silver. Canned pear??? Classy bird.

Rots Deformational Plagiocephaly was a good article in our local NCT mag. I know quite a few affected by this and there are lots of different views from the medical profession.

Childhood allergies and eczema in babies and very young children. This has risen from 4-5% in the 1970s to 17-18% today and is rising and can be hard for parents to deal with. It is something very close to me and we have been dealing with this from 4 weeks old. It is not just peanut allergy (cows milk, wheat, egg, fish allergy are all on this rise) but the government have recently withdrawn all advice on whether to eat nuts in pregnancy and whether to give them to children or not as they really don't know whether it is best to eat or not! Again the medical profession receive very little formal training in childhood allergies during their training and qualification.

Just a couple of ideas.

Marking me spot! Going to get verrrry exciting round here soon (can't wait).

Waves at don't how is life with your recently won baybee?

I thought you could eat all nuts except peanuts.

Going to have to survive on fresh bloody air at thus rate.

My love of food vs preggo diet is proving tone a tough balance.

Bloody hell okie - Deformational Plagiocephaly? I had to Google it! But great idea.

I guess an article on what people finds works for eczema and so on would be good? We couldn't do actual medical advice.

silver I thought you were joking. Don't worry about it. Tinned products are boiled within an inch of their lives to get rid of anything nasty so any germs on the bug will have been destroyed.

casper Braxton hicks can be V uncomfy. If they're more than 4 in an hour, or get actually painful, speak to MW!! I'm having one as we speak actually! I like the other suggestions

donttry interested now....

Silver, you'll be fine with the bug - it's just a bit gross. I had a bizarre incident on holiday last year where I was served up a giant pickled cockroach garnish on the side of my cordon bleu swanky dinner instead of some kind of pickled vegetable. The waiter tried to tell me it was something that must have flown onto my plate and was nothing to do with their kitchen. There ensued a bit of a barney in pidgen French till I ended up saying rather louder than the waiter expected 'C'est un grand insect dans ma dejeuner,' and the whole restaurant went quiet and looked round. (Anyone who wants to pick holes in my french, feel free. I don't speak any foreign languages to any degree of competency, just '2 beers please and the captain will pay!' in a smattering of the more common tongues.)

Go for the free pears, I say!

Cunty I'll swap places with you! Come here and do my job I'm not qualified for, chase round after DD and her extreme demands and try and sell my horse - and I'll stare out of the window. Gawd, I'd love to have nothing more than staring out of the window to do. Here's a list of things my friend made for me before I had DD, when I was bored;

1. Read a book from start to end without an interruption.
2. Ditto with film.
3. Cherish every poo you have alone from now till the baby gets here, as you will be accompanied on virtually every trip to the loo for at least the next 2 years by a small person. Initally you won't want to let them out of your sight, then they start to follow you in there anyway shouting loudly 'Mummy - you doing a poo-poo?'
4. Go to bed whenever you want - morning, noon or night. These things mean nothing to a baby.
5. Enjoy the freedom of being able to pop into the village shop without it being a miltary operation to get child and pram out of car with you just to buy a magazine and a pint of milk.

Have sex without worrying about waking up the baby/child/teenager - this one lasts forever. From now on, you are a parent and everyone knows the idea of their parents having sex is gross.

1. Eat chocolate without having to hide the fact from a child that you are eating something they want and can't have.

There - that's a bit to be going on with. Should keep you busy, and when you've done all that lot just sit there and do Kegels till the baby pops out.

Anyway. Today I have been trying to buy myslef some clothes that fit. I am only going to get bigger for the next 3 months and my clothes now have an alarming gap between tshirt and belt. Our local retail park has maternity stuff in Next, New Look, Mothercare and Dorothy Perkins. All of it (with the bizarre exception of DP - I would never normally shop in there!) were shite. In Next they only had jeans and tracksuits. No tops. In New Look they only had jeans and football t-shirts. In Mothercare they only had jeans. DP had a small but slightly nicer collection, including some linen pants I bought. But sadly a lot of the things I would have bought were only in the wrong size. I tried on some lovely gladiator sandals too, only to find that my feet are already bloating. They swelled up like little sausages last time and I could only wear flip flops. So it looks like a trip to Accessorize for flipflops is in order. I was well pissed off and knackered by the end of my fruitless shopping trip, but not as grumpy as DD was.

Oh well. Who needs clothes and shoes - really?

Thanks rotty. She seems to be balling up hard a lot of the time. Must start taking notes of how often really.

donttry! Good to "see" you! Hope all is well with Bay. Please do stick around.

Anyone at 34 weeks and beyond - how's the bump growth going? I feel quite small considering full term is only a matter of weeks away. Quite a plateau after feeling so huge for a while. Maybe the docs are right about the steroids slowing down baby growth - guess I'll find out at Monday's scan. I really did expect to reaching mammoth proportions by now.

Awww...been reading the posts. You all sound so happy
Tis such a lovely time.
So is having the little monster on your lap in case you think i want to send her back!

Nice to hear her being referrerd to as a monster already dont. I do that to mine in-utero. I swear she's already got it in for me

Just putting my two peneth worth in whist supping a freshly squeezed orange juice and choffing on a fruit salad mid shopping spree - needed a break! My thoughts are that maybe all this allergy stuff is self inflicted - back in the day the ate everything no? And incidents of allergies were less? I'm eating a good variety of everything, including peanuts (and licorice!) and mist anything else I can think that may be a possible food allergy in later life... That said though neither OH or me have food allergies to start with so perhaps baybee will be lucky.

Life with baby is great ta. Amazing how such a small child can have such a huge personality. You just can't imagine it when still updiffed (well I couldn't anyway).

VERY Boring yet crucial tip - you must "force" them to nap. I didn't realise this for weeks as thought she would just sleep when she wanted to. She didn't and was really overtired. By "forcing" I don't mean crying it out, just throw them in the sling/pram and walk or rock to sleep.

Gawd...i sound like a right know-it -all....this from the mother of the amazing can't nap won't nap baba.

I'm def sticking round. can't believe Cunty is on ml awready - ooooh time flies while your fanjo is leaking....

Hurray - friend popped today! It's a girl and they haven't stolen used either of our names.

So glad you are doing ok don't try and thanks for the tips. I will need them all.

I'm feeling a bit nervous and excited about scan tomorrow. Also guilty as leaving work early the day before a pitch meeting first thing on Thursday... i.e. letting everyone else sort the shit out. Oh well, there was no way I was cancelling it!!!

Loving the list of things to do before the birth box and the suggested NCT articles Curly!!! Is there a magazine then? I haven't got that yet.

Okie I've gone right off my hotmillks (oops bought 3). I wear those Anita bras I was going on about religiously. One in nude and one in black. Great shape, comfortable and will last until nursing too. Will try and find a link for you. Pretty Pregnant sell them on northcote.

Silver think of the protein... and try not to barf!! Ha ha. Poor you.