The PESH Deli for updiffed BESHes who love prunes and smell of wee wees

[rollerbaby]

BESH BABYWIN STATS

This isn't a fucking list - right?

BESH BAYBEES
dontrythisathome, Bay Amaryllis born March 25.
Cheggers, twinz girlz, born April 12

UPDIFFED
FannyPriceless, her pelvis went menkul, due June 14
CUNextTuesday, takes no shit from the Daily Mail, due June 28
IggyPiggy, The one who loves BUMSEX, due July 20
CurlyCasper, hospital botherer due July 21 (girl)
Skihorse, cradle snatching web geek, due July 22 (boy)
Carrots, organic hippy hunter, due July 25 (boy)
Cosmosis, the one that likes a good ride, due August 22
backinthebox, she bought a racehorse, due September 6
skatergrrrl, the one that overtook the rest, September ??
VAG, lives in De Nile, due 19 September
Honeymoo, no it's not fucking indigestion, due November 2
silversky, the biggest farter, due 21 October (first baybee)
okiecokie, self-confessed control freak, due November 6
SomethingSuitablyWitty, benelux babe, due November
ReginaMonologue, must-get-the-goss-from-ski, due November 20

Oh yes, although a bit fond of throwing things about for my liking...

Apart from that it's just like the real police

I is liking Luther alot. Bit catatonic after that episode. Poor sod. Wife was a touch annoying though.

Poor mr moo has gone to bed with me and dog staying up. My restless nights are knackering him out!! We haven't even got started yet I suspect. Luckily our super kingsize arrives in about 3 weeks. If that fails, we always have the spare room.

Does anyone think these dreamgenii pillows actually work? Mine irritates the shit out of me.

Never 'eard of 'em!

rubytues Luther is surely just a passionate geezer! Me like!

Agree wife is wishywashy and the redhead is super freaky!

super freaky but I have hair envy!!!

I will credit her with the fabulous locks. If I had personal hairdresser I too would have hair like a goddess!! Her Face is touch Alien like?

Good morning PESHes!

reggie Please check in - we're all rooting for you - and obviously need a gossip update.

I forgot to say before but we had the "get to know you" meeting on Monday with the nurse/health-visitor/cleaner company. I was less than under-whelmed. I felt really fucking patronised - the one bit of good advice we received was to try fitting the car-seat before the baby comes, rather than having to leave the hospital and then try and fit it with a baybee in situ. But there was this big long list of things we must have, incl. twenty newborn rompers/sleepsuits. Now obviously jailbait and I are not on the breadline, but even so, I'm not buyinng 20 of the teeniest-tiniest babygrows out there. Julian is expected to be large - and if he's not, I shall roll up the legs and arms. Yes, go ahead and flagellate me. I found this really fucking rude because I bet there are some women out there trying to do "all of this" on a budget of 150 quid. You must have 5 bedsheets, you must have x towels, you must have x hot water bottles (for baby), etc., etc. She also kept going on and on and on about my insurance not being the full package (annoying argument with insurance company dec/jan - you're only allowed to change package on 1st Jan, I was out-of-office, they emailed me there... - also, what if you find out you're pregnant on 2nd Jan? ). Needless to say - if I say "I want to go to hospital and have an epidural now" it's going to cost me 300 euros. So fucking what? 300 euros is very different to 7000 doncha think? Cunting cunt. I dunno... maybe for some people it's great but I figure I can work out how to bath a baby - you don't dunk it under water for too long right? As for housework, we don't live in a mansion with 6 other kids running around and jailbait will be home. And if I honestly can't bung a few towels and sheets in the washing machine then I'm more fucked than a home-help can help with am I not? If Julian is feeding OK I'm going to tell them to bugger orf. (Sorry it was so long.)

I'm having a baby soon.

PS, Lady not impressed with Moses basket and thinks baybee needs proper cot. Also says grow-bag/sleeping bag not good and that we need cotton (and cotton only!) sheets.

Colleague says she ignored that and used baby-duvet - which is the norm in Germany and just 500m from her house.

So there you go, 3 countries with 3 different duvet/sheet/bag requirements.

I think I iz going to nod my head, smile and then do whatever the fuck I was planning on doing anyway.

ski our MWs advise against sleeping bags too, because of potential overheating and the fact that it's easier to just add and remove sheets/cellular blanket layers without waking baby.

As I said the other day, I now have, through no fault of my own, 32 sleep suits in newborn size! She'd bloody better come early and small so I get a chance to use them. But recommending 20 is ridiculous. I'm sure they say six over here!

I must say, to be one of those cleaner/nanny women, you'd have to be a bit of a bossy control freak. I imagine they do deal with some right hopeless cases. Just remind yourself that you are too damn capable!

curly The one cossie gave me is quite thick given these are going to be July babies - but I've seen thinner ones. Nooooo, apparently a sleeping bag will suffocate the baybee a la SIDS. I wonder what the yanks do - because you know they think home-birthing is akin to witchery - it is funny though that every country has a different idea about almost everything.

Strangely enough she said NOT to buy bottles/sterilising kit - which I thought was a bit odd - and very contradictory given that as part of the "freebie" package her own company had sent me it included a bottle... And, should I fail spectacularly at bf'ing and my nipples fall off it might be quite hard to source a bottle at 3am. (We don't have 24hr Tesco).

Mornings all. Happy 9th wedding anniversary to me and TGO.

"I think I iz going to nod my head, smile and then do whatever the fuck I was planning on doing anyway."

Absolutely Ski! It sounds like the free help is possibly going to be a bit of a double edged sword. Could you just spend the time she is there lying in bed and shouting instructions at her from there, while refusing her access to you bedroom because 'you find it easier to BF naked?' She sounds like she has stiff requirements - we only had 2 sheets for DD, one in the wash and one on the carry cot (yes, you read that right - DD slept in the carry cot attachment from the pram when she wasn't sleeping in bed with us. We didn't even have a bedroom for her, let alone a cot, till she was 8 months old. She grew out of the carry cot when she was 4 months, and by that stage she was well and truly wedged in it. I thought people might give me funny lucks if I tried to bend her legs round to fit her in it though, so she slept in with us for a bit.

I have to tell you about a friend I have. She is horsey, and I really only get to meet her a couple of times a year at big shows or training clinics. She is a regular member of a private horsey chatroom I am on. She managed to conceal from the rest of us her pregancy for about 7 and a half months, which is fairly good going. All the while going on about how she would never have children. But she found herself in the same position as me - OH (her's, not mine!) bought her a farm and the deal was 'you get farm, I get baybee.') When it snowed, the semi-derelict farmhouse they were hoping to do up before baby arrived completely caved in under the weight of the snow. So she has had planning and insurance to deal with and is living in a little caravan now. Her MW and health visitor are going mental. She has a health visitor already because the MW is so concerned about where she is going to be having and bringing up this baby! Today she is 3 days overdue, and is driving 100 miles alone to pick up a JCB. Mad! She is also still looking after her horses and sheeps with lambs by herself. The MW went mental about her being around sheeps and lambs too, because of diseasey stuff which affects pregnant women. The funniest bit of the whole this is this - she and her OH are GPs! Gotta laugh at that!

Happy anniv. to Cos btw, and echo Ski - Reggie, come back for a slap and some support if you need it!

Congrats cos are you celebrating ? Doing owt speshal?

ski seems that you can never win and never plz everyone. Do what's right for yoo.

reginald come out, come out whetever you are!

I am mega stressed. Can't talk about on here. Stomach knotted and not good for tiny person. Trying to chill as worried about effecting baybee. I need a massage. And a gun.

we is off for 4d scan and meal later.

another plea to Reggie to say hello and let us know you is ok.

Hope you is ok too silver. Would a small chinese burn help?

Morning ladies!

Happy Anniversary to Cos! Hope you're celebrating tonight!

Silver sounds nasty - hope you're ok - if at all applicable, I hear Neals Yard preggo massages are rather good.

reggie where are you?

I was out late last night....till 10pm! And Clint had hiccoughs this morning - I thought he was having some sort of seizure until I realised what was most likely. He must have been annoyed by them as he managed an almost 180 degree spin while hiccoughing.

I have no idea how to spell hiccoughs.

x-post w Cos - 4D v exciting, lovely way to celebrate!

ski My arse. As it were.

Sleeping bags to me were a lifesaver as there's nothing worse than JUST getting into the second hour of continuous sleep for the first time in a month when the baby wakes having kicked off his 100% cotton sheets.

When they're really tiny, sheets and a blanket are just fine but when they figure out (which happens quickly) what those feet things are for, they kick 'em a LOT. Just use a 1 tog for summer. It's not rocket science. Jeeeeeez.

And I'm totally with box on the pram thing. I'm planning to use the pram section of the pushchair instead of a moses basket. Why spend the extra money? LC was in a MB for 2 weeks, and in the end I gave up as he kept pucking in it and was ruining the wicker. He then went straight into his cot in his own room (at 2 weeks old) and was fine, but only because ex insisted on it. This time I plan to co sleep. Either way is fine. He wouldn't fit in the MB after about 3 months even if he was still sleeping in it.

I would personally assume you're gonna need help with breastfeeding as most people do to a greater or lesser extent. The rest is bloody obvious.

Don't lose your own self confidence.

cos Chinese burn haz helped and taken mind off problem which in comparison to other peeps issues is really minor! I iz control freak which iz big issue for me. Thanks for the massage tip too.

Husband gave me lovely snuggly hug last night on soda which was the biz. They do cheer me up, have to remind him not to speakand ruin the moment!

Guy at work DP is in labour!!! As we speak!!! Bet they have same flavour as us and nick choose one of our preferred names.

Ps I am fan of sleeping bags for ickle peeps too.

VAG Rastus has hiccups (I'm spelling it that way come what may!) at least half a dozen times a day. Started as , then , now . It's like having a massive trapped nerve which all the irk that that would bring...

which with

I vote for sleeping bags too. Used em from about 11 weeks when Mini C went into own room and big cot. They are fab

Moo I dislike my dreamgenii too. I find it usually flung on floor each morning. I wish I had bought normal V shaped one now. The bottles were "Born Free" and sorry link did not work.

Ski re steriliser and not needing one I would strongly disagree. I (well Mr C did) gave mini c the occasional bottle of expressed breast milk from about 4 weeks old which got him used to the bottle and which gave me more flexibility later on and the chance to go to bed early! The whole "nipple confusion" thing I believe is a bit of a fallacy. I have numerous friends that baybeeeees won't take a bottle at all as they did not try it early enough on and that can be pretty limiting and tiring at times. However, each to their own.

I also heart Luther - it it up there with Spooks although slightly more sinister. Hope there will be another series.

Cos well done on 9 years!

Back from MW appointment, all ok. Measuring 28cm, so spot on for date. BP 108/60, baby?s heartbeat 150 (can anyone remind me what flavour that means?).

It's like box was saying about baby carrying, and people saying she should have left her to cry in a corner or something instead.

Either way works for different people (ie controlled crying V 100% babywearing at the extremes and everything in between) and I really get miffed when people say "that's wrong" or "do it this way" as opposed to "have you considered" or "this worked for me". It's so undermining and in the end everyone needs to choose their own path.

While SIDS is clearly terrifying and it makes sense to take away the obvious causes such as smoking and laying babies on their fronts, using pillows and co sleeping while drunk, etc, most other risks are miniscule and unproven, and in my experience just cause a whole load of stress just when you don't need it.

It's probably much easier for me to say this second time round, but HV and MW who stress their clients are just pointless .

cos excellent news

LC was def a girl based on HB. Mind you, he is clearly turning out to be gay (playing with my aunt's makeup, liking dolls etc) so maybe that's why .

Actually, YOB and I are hoping for bi, which seems likely as he danced with anyone, man or woman, at the wedding, that he could drag to the dance floor - mainly because that would piss off my ex the most. He used to tell me off for giving him dolls as it would "turn him into a poof" .