The PESH Deli for updiffed BESHes who love prunes and smell of wee wees

[rollerbaby]

BESH BABYWIN STATS

This isn't a fucking list - right?

BESH BAYBEES
dontrythisathome, Bay Amaryllis born March 25.
Cheggers, twinz girlz, born April 12

UPDIFFED
FannyPriceless, her pelvis went menkul, due June 14
CUNextTuesday, takes no shit from the Daily Mail, due June 28
IggyPiggy, The one who loves BUMSEX, due July 20
CurlyCasper, hospital botherer due July 21 (girl)
Skihorse, cradle snatching web geek, due July 22 (boy)
Carrots, organic hippy hunter, due July 25 (boy)
Cosmosis, the one that likes a good ride, due August 22
backinthebox, she bought a racehorse, due September 6
skatergrrrl, the one that overtook the rest, September ??
VAG, lives in De Nile, due 19 September
Honeymoo, no it's not fucking indigestion, due November 2
silversky, the biggest farter, due 21 October (first baybee)
okiecokie, self-confessed control freak, due November 6
SomethingSuitablyWitty, benelux babe, due November
ReginaMonologue, must-get-the-goss-from-ski, due November 20

fanjo tis easier said than done non?

I thought I had def decided on the name for our puppy. But when said pupster arrived name did not suit. So perhaps meeting baybee will also assist.

Will be gutted if they have boys and choose the one and only name I like. MIL has already said she can tell I am not going to give in easily on this one.

Secondly have decided not to share names as naming kiddiwinks is like bloody dressage! Uber sodding subjective!! One man's paradise is another man's hell. Trooooooooooooo? I fink it is fo' sho'

silver My lips are sealed, except among certain FB friends, with regards to names. Noone in real life, especially not future grandparents, is getting to comment. They can make suggestions all they like, but anything that is truly in the running will not be discussed.

And I reserve the right to change my mind following labour

AND - I probably would change my mind if someone at work used our chosen name. I think it would lose its appeal if some other child had it so close to my due date. We have been careful to chose a first name that is not taken by anyone we know.

Wonder what I'd do if a PESH used "my" name? Mind you, I won't be giving names on here even when she is born. It would kind of defeat the purpose of trying to stay anonymous all this time. I mean, how many women are going to have a gender specific child of a certain weight with a certain name on the same day?

How does everyone else feel about sharing all those details on here? I'd like to share my birth story, but might skip exact times/dates/weight/name etc as necessary to retain some privacy.

Cas believe it or not the Internet is not such a big wide world after all and, like you, I prefer to remain secret squirrel modest and keep certain stuff to myself and prefer not to be identified online. I have nothing to hide but I just feel happier this way.

If I want to share my bizniz I will, if I don't, chances are I won't.

wits you need vag - I am a mere amateur!

sliver I am with you on the name sharing... I will not be sharing it on here either...

caspina I dunno about birth story - depends how I feel after I guess?

Hello ladies!

*sperm donor and bun cooker?

I quite agree iggy: if the birth is horrendous, I shall tell happy stories of fairies, baby dust and sneezing for the sake of those to follow!

In reality, by birth story I mean things like where you were when it started, how long each phase was, how good (or not) sperm donor/birth partner was, how good the general care was and so on. The basics for comparison, I suppose. I don't intend to write one of these massive posts with every detail. Not even for my own diary (not that I've got one).

Aaaawww vag thanks for the back-slapping on the blanket. It has been so long in the making (what on earth possessed me to start with a blanket? Well, the fact that it was easy I suppose) that I am just desperate for people to tell me it's the very biz. I may even post pictures of it when done and force you all to look at them. In order to finish it, I am supposed to rinse it out and pin it into shape with rust-restistant pins. Where would I get such things and are there home-made alternatives? Ditto as regards "markers" - i don't know what they look like or can you buy them or what, but I didn't find them in the crafty shop I went to. Any ideas? My pattern was from the Stitch and Bitch book BTW and was recommended by Muser, who has been wrestling with it as well. I was enchanted by her pictures of the first bit, but I think she ripped the whole thing shortly after having made an irreperable mistake. Hat pattern sounds good. The booties are from that ravelry site you mentioned. Cute, but yes, complicated looking.

As far as birth stories are concerned, I really love reading them (the more detail the better) so if I write one, I'll probably try and produce something similar, without it being interminably boring.

Names - well, we don't really have that problem, as we sorta have to choose something a bit unusual (to work in both languages) so unlikely to be taken by someone else. Won't tell anyone what are ideas are though - could do without any possible negative feedback.

I am hoping my birth story will be something like:

• Anaesthetist sticks a needle in my back.
• They lie me down on a bed and wheel me into a theatre.
• They put up a little curtain and we chat to the anaesthetist for a couple of minutes.
• The surgeon holds up a gorgeous little baby.
• Midwife passes us baby, and me and MrP coo over baby for a while.
• Surgeon says it's all done, curtain comes down, they wheel me out of the room, already madly in love with the gorgeous baby.

...which is precisely what my birth story from last time was! (You lot were complaining that nobody ever tells the good stories - complain no more.)

Ever considered writing children's books fanny?

Spooky, casper. Do you know me?

Ooh Switty "friend" me on Ravelry (I'm there under my real name so easy to spot) so I can stalk you chart your progress! You can use a bit of wool as a "marker" but they say to use a contrasting colour so you can see it clearly. I bought some in John Lewis. Re pins, I just used ones I had, but after blocking some ribbing by mistake I haven't bothered to block anything since (blocked ribbing makes it non-stretchy...oops). Will look at Stitch n Bitch again for blanket.

I like birth stories too, though not sure if I'll be typing it all out. I always think they're a bit like Uncle Albert's "during the war" stories - but I have no doubt I will be like that too. I'm a bit boring about the time we laid floor tiles in the kitchen, so there's no real hope that I won't be a birth bore.....

I think something from some time back might have lodged in my mind fanny. But that didn't cross my mind when I first wrote the comment!

I have just turned the brightest, hottest shade of embarassment, and nearly collapsed in a wobbly, tearful heap, due to the kindness of lovely colleagues.

Hehe - read that too quickly - thought it said "lodged in my fanny".

Aw Cas, that's lovely about your colleagues!

I will probably type out my birth story but more for me than an audience as they say you forget so quickly.

VAG and Swits I AM KNITTING TOO!!!

I went to John Lewis yesterday and bought 14 balls of wool, circular needles and a baby pattern book. The only problem is that I can't remember how to cast on, or er, knit. Well I could knit at school so I figured my learning to knit book would remind me, but I can't work out how to even fricking cast on (despite also looking at unhelpful youtube videos). I need help. I wonder if there is a clapham knitting club.

I've spent £50 so I'm knitting this blanket if it fucking kills me.

honey indeed knitting could kill or maim (sp?) you as needles v sharp.

Scan today was top knotch. Sonographer was a mardy cah. Just cos I got the chuckles. She pissed me off so much we didn't even ask for a scan pic. Hope her cheap perm drops out.

Just chekcing in quickly!

Silver glad you had a good scan. Some of these scanners need to lighten up, don't they?

Ski (falling round on floor laughing with the idea that there could possibly be any hiding a 32 week pregnancy,) of course there is no hiding it! I work with lots of blokes who think of me as an honorary bloke and therefore the idea that there might be a baby in there at any point usually never crosses their minds, but even they can tell I am 26 weeks pregnant! So, at 32 weeks - sorry, no chance!

All the knitters - well impressed. I made friends kids fleecey taggie blankets with their names embroidered on them (didn't have the mental capacity to have that idea for my own child .) Sewing is more my strength.

I won't be giving out my birth story. Wouldn't want to scare people . Actually, I'm hoping it isn't scary this time round.

On to the saga of big horse - lady rang to arrange his vetting today, and has told her husband to get the readies out anyway. She has called about half a dozen people for references, and as far as I can tell the only negative thing anyone has said it 'he doesn't like clapping.' So that's alright. I always said he needed someone loaded, mad and with servants to buy him, and that's just what this woman is. I think he'll like being Lucy Glitters' new horse (literary link there, for anyone who's scratching their head!)

Very impresses with the knitting club on here! I don't think I have the patience or time and I am a lazy cah and just want to veg infront of telly once my working day is done and the wee man is in bed.

I love birth stories. I have an insatiable desire to know all about it. It is werid but I like to know the good, the bad and the ugly. I do try to be senstive though about telliing them to women yet with child!

honeymoo If you need knitting help I suggest heading down to IKnit for one of their knitting groups. Lovely shop, lovely people. They taught me to knit. www.iknit.org.uk/

Witty I have been redoing the blanket in all new wool! Latest pic is on my profile. I am desperately trying to finish it in time to post up North in time for sil's baby shower. It's taking FOREVER.

Muser! Your knitting is well good.

boxer Loving the Lucy Glitters reference!

Hey Muser!!! Good to hear from you!!! Will check out ya knitting now... I need a knitting support group as well as mumsnet... jesus. What is going on with you? How are you doing after your horrible experience... is everything ok now? Hope you are well. Lovely to see you in the deli. I will have to come and say hi in the palace soon.

I'm good. My 3 months are up so I'm back attempting to win a baybee in the official BESH Mass Summer Diffment Programme. Save me seat at a deli counter, hopefully I'll be here soon.

That is Good News. I will get some brie and liver pate ready for your arrival don't you worry... Still can't work out how the fk to cast on. I definitely need lessons... unless you want to teach me!!