July 2010: Still getting bigger, gone are the days when we had a figure

[stac14]

July is getting closer and we're all still gabbing. Feel free to join in

Memphis - I've got a friend with a Rueben - he was known as 'baby Roo' when he was tiny, which was SO cute

And poor you for fainting! I hope they sat you down with a cup of tea! How are you feeling now?

memphis I always get so worried Im going to faint in the supermarket, its ok when I go on a Sat to do the weekly shop with DP but i often go alone during the week and its just the crowds and lights in that place that make me feel a bit wobbly.
I hope your feeling better now though

DP's mum has been asking us for money again she said she can pay us back on Mon but the trouble is, I dont want the money taken out of our account in the first place, I hope I dont sound really tight but we honestly cant afford it, all of our direct debits come out of our joint bank account and Id be paranoid we'd be left short.
I feel mean saying no though as its DP's mum and he feels guilty when he has to say no but for goodness sake we're having a baby and we're on benefits, we're not really the best people to ask for money are we?

DH SO tough! a few years ago FIL asked us to take out a very large loan for him and his wife and I SO wish we'd never done it. They very quickly stopped paying us back and it caused years of friction and tension between the families - and we never saw the money again.

If I had one piece of advice for anyone after that experience it would honestly be to only ever lend money to people when you absolutely don't mind if you never see it again!

FIL and wife are lovely, generous people with four young kids and I felt like a heel resenting them and the fact that we were left scraping by trying to pay off their loan. Really unhealthy situation.

Don't feel bad about not wanting to lend her money - she shouldn't really be asking given your current circs.

anifers you sound very inspirational talking about pregnancy, last week or 2 ive enjoyed being pregnant, and i agree with the achy feeling passing once you get moving! your job sounds fab, i love henry winkler! im very jealous! as for name reuben i have loved it since i met an old man called reuben when i was about 15
i feel ok now i think im just a bit overwhelmed in crowds as i havent really seen many people in past month jusy felt a wally, my mum fainted daily while pregnant so im not worried!
dh must be horrible wanting to say no to mil, but as you said your not in a position to lend out money so i personally wouldnt, your in your right to say no it is a joint bank account

memphis you poor thing. if i lived near id be going round and giving u a stern talking to! look after yourself lady! i know its alot easier said than done to put your feet up and do nothing though. i was the same yesterday i was cleaning and hoovering like a mad woman after getting all the carpets down(they're fab by the way!) and was on the verge of fainting and went shaky all over. should really listen to our bodies!
anifers what a lovely post! although ours wasn't planned we're so happy and i do enjoy pregnancy for the most part of it but sometimes with hormones and the sciatica and stuff i just get down and have a cry for myself! i know it'l be soooo worth it in the end!
stac has the blood cleared up yet?
gorgeous day here today. been working all morn and have a few clients this eve and then im going to see sex and the city with one of the girls! cant wait!

hey ladies

memphis you poor love fainting, do you have low bp?

chulita would they bring lo early due to heart rate?

dh i made the mistake of loaning sil a fair bit of cash at xmas and she still hasn't paid any of it back. It is a nightmare and even though you feel guilty i think your right to say no hun. Glad lo's in the right position.

anifers that was a lovely thing to say bout being pg. From my point of view this time i have had a better pregnancy but as i am having a bigger baby i have a lot of pains that are not going away. I enjoy feelin lo but in various positions it hurts a lot. If i'm honest i envy you having a great pregnancy hun

kk its getting there just a day left of antibiotics. How you been?

becky how did your day go? We will get a chance to meet up x

anifers memphis stac thanks for the support, Im glad you all feel the same as me. I hate lending money and its worse when we're scraping by as it is!

Ive just booked an antenatal class, its run on Saturdays 10am-2pm. The next free class is the 12th June, typically Im going to a friend's son's first birthday party so I asked what the next date was and its the 10th July! Thats 8 days before Im due so I booked up for that one and now just have to pray LO doesnt come early! Do you think it was pointless signing up for a class so late??

DH if it's free then it's fine. First pregnancies often go over the DD.
Memphis one word - online shopping That's what I do now. I hope you are well!

Anifers that's great you are enjoying the pregnancy and have so much stamina! Each pregnancy is different. My first pregnancy was really difficult and I did not enjoy it. I could not stand smells, I was in pain. But this pregnancy is really great and I am enjoying it mostly. Even though there are pains and discomfort! ;)

I hope you all enjoying the lovely weather.

Hi all - just had a scary, scary moment when dd ran away from me out of a shop door towards (but thank god stopping before) a fairly busy road - up to that she had been gorgeous all day.

memphis love all your names - dh likes Otis as well. Glad you are OK after fainting - poor you

anifers glad you are having such a good time of it - I can't wait until I'm through with pg - I miss me.

*DH my only antenatal class with dd was just before I had her, about a week I think - was really useful.

stac i reckon my bp dropped, it was gloomy when i left the house so i had uggs and a jumper on which didnt help that the sun came bursting through the clouds as soon as i got away from home!!
jojo i keep thinking about internet shopping but the need for custard slices was too great
slept all afternoon on sofa and only just woke up, not even put the shopping away!!!
wonder if becky had a nice day?

DH our antenatal classes aren't until end of June - have you had any yet? We were a little panicked that it's so close to the birth too, but I'm sure we'll both be good.

memphis kk stac Jojo Wonder - I know I'm a lucky duck, but I'm convinced keeping a healthy if stubborn PMA helps too. I do have wobbly moments, (like this morning when I was a total grouchy bear with DH) but I try and catch myself and then focus on all the positive things - LIKE OUR BEAUTIFUL DAUGHTER ON THE WAY! and I'm soon smiling again.

It's also good to remember how lucky we all are. 60,000 women give birth every day, and the majority of those will be in 3rd world countries, with no access to the sort of medical care we take for granted. 1 in every 28 women will die in childbirth in the 3rd world - in the UK it's nearer 1 in 17,000. And for every 3rd world mother, there's a one in six chance their baby won't see it's 1st birthday - here in the Uk it's more like 1 in 200. And if that doesn't make us all feel very blessed and lucky to be having our babies where we are in the world, then I don't know what will.

anifers no I havent had any yet, its a 4 hour class that covers everything so only have to go to one class. Just crossing my fingers LO wont come early although if I miss the class its not the end of the world!

Evening!

Thanks girls, yes i had a lovely day
Last day at work is over! woohoo! Although i don't feel as excited as i thought i would, coming home has been a bit of an anti-climax really! However we had a chinese for lunch and one of the girls brought in cake so had that with a cuppa and chitchat after that. They gave me a lovely bunch of flowers and a £100 next voucher for when baby is here! wow - feeling very overwhelmed!
Suppose i will feel a bit lost for a few days then settle into some much needed rest and housework routine!

We have our tour of the hospital tomorrow afternoon so looking forward to that then midwife app on fri morning!

anfers you have a fantastic attitude and your last post really gave me some perspective! thanks

DH we have had similar issues with MIL in the past. DH and i ended up having massive arguements about it as i really disagreed with her asking (and assuming a lot of the time!) I was still a student and dh not earning much so we really didn't have spare cash. We ended up saying no there was nothing spare, we only have enough to get to end of month and eventually she stopped asking! She and DH had a routine of it before we got together so she really didn't like me for a while. There were also a few incidents where she didn't give it back on time and it left us stuck! used to make me furious

wonder sounds scary with your dd, glad she's ok- close call!

memphis now you've made me want a custard slice! cheers

becky yeah that sounds just like my situation.
Unfortunately we've said no the past few times but she still asks, what also annoys me is that DP has 2 sisters and a brother but she never asks them and they ALL have more money than us. I reckon they all say no as well and my DP is so soft he finds it hard to say no.

Sounds like you had a lovely last day at work too! £100 next voucher is very generous, Im lol.

DH i was really really hard to stand our ground as we are both quite soft- dh's dad died when he was 16 and he is oldest boy so felt guilty that his mum was struggling. We honestly nearly broke up over it as she just laid on the guilt trips! I would think with LO on the way its time to stay strong and a good reason for her to accept the change in attitude! after all LO can't wait til debts are paid back when it needs nappies!
Also my MIL and I have a much better relationship now there is no money talk! DH also gets on way better with his mum

dh my parents always told me not to lend anything you're not prepared to give. They've lost good friends over loans and I think that's very wise advice...even if it's not always easy to say no!

becky I'm of that voucher too, I love Next baby stuff!

stac they won't induce the baby early, apparently it's very rare to get any complications from a dodgy HB. I'm more worried about it being tranverse tbh

I just had a bowl of salad and then a big bowl of fruit salad and yoghurt and I'm stuffed...off to crochet some more blanket, suddenly realised I've got about 40 more squares to do and not many weeks to do them in! eek!

becky luckily DP does agree with me and he knows how tight our money situation is, I think he just finds it hard as its his mum which is understandable. She didnt used to have money troubles, its a chain of events that has led to this. Basically shes not working at the mo (but gets alot of money every month from DP's dad, they are divorced) so Im hoping when she goes back to work she will stop asking us, or even better stop asking us now!

chulita my dad has always told me the same thing, he said never lend, never borrow. Also Im liking your very healthy dinner, I had tinned soup DP is working late and I didnt want to cook!

It makes me realise how lucky I am that my parents are "givers".. So is FIL and his wife. Thankfully MIL - the only one who would be a possible taker is far far away in NZ.
I think parents should help their children and not take from them.

Anifers yes we are very very lucky and yes attitude is very important. But let's not forget, that some women have psychological and serious physical issues during pregnancy. Not mentioning they might not have a partner and it can be very tough in UK too... I know I was very unwell last time and this time is incomparable! It's a breeze.

jojo its funny cos DP's dad couldnt be more different, he has a very well paid job and is very generous (hes buying our cot mattress and has already bought a moses basket+stand) its hard to believe his mum and dad were married once.

Also what makes me laugh is that his mum offered to pay for the travel system, it cost us around £280 (we would have paid this had she not offered to pay so its not like we were taking advantage of the situation) and shes given us £100 towards it so far, but why offer to buy it for us, then ask us for money!

Reminds me of my MIL... She got us a £ 80 wedding present, but left us with a £ 100 phone bill afterwards.

anifers I totally agree that people struggle in may places and we are very lucky. For dp and I we struggled even to concieve our gorgeous daughter unfortunately even with feeling grateful I am in a lot of pain, have struggled with anxiety attacks etc but have also tried my hardest to stay as upbeat and positive throughout this pregnancy but as wonder says it will also be nice to be me again with my lovely new baby

dh you are doing the right and are totally right about her asking for cash when she is supposed to be helping you out as she knows you were struggling

wonder you must have got such a fright are you ok?

memphis Its typical to be dressed for the cold and it gets bloody roasting, you must have needed the sleep hun

Well I spent today washing all of lo's stuff, all I need to do now is get it all ironed and for dp to buid her furniture lol. My cankles are 3 times thier normal size and I am totally shattered. No wonder I sound so ungrateful anifers I really dont mean to, but I am so glad I have this forum to be able to let off steam x

sadly money is the root to a lot of evils, i lent my bro and his ex 7 and a half grand for3 weeks til the loan came through, 9 months later they had split up and i didnt see the money, luckily i got the bankers draft in her name and when she said it wasnt her problem so my solicitot said it was as her name was on record of the draft luckily their house sold and i got my money back. learnt my lesson with lending money after that. dh's dad has no money but would give his last fiver, dh's mum has 2 soft top cars and a 'town car' no mortgage and 5 hols a year she hasnt even bought us a baby grow for LO funny how and i look at them like you said dh i cant imagine they were married!

becky meant to say glad you had a lovely day and what a generous pressie, is it going halfers on you and bambino?

Sorry I'm being Mrs Statistics today, but Chulita transverse lie occurs in only 1 out of 2,500 births so chances are you're going to be fine.

Jojo - I'm totally not discounting that every pregnancy is different and some much harder than others, I guess I just believe in looking on the positive side - there are ALWAYS people worse off than us and that's something to be thankful for. I think everyone can benefit from trying to find the positive in a situation. People often blow me away with their courage and optimism in really bleak situations - it can be really inspiring. Conversely, there are people out there with so much going for them who not only see the glass half empty, they see someone peeing into it too. (no one on here obviously!)

I know it's so easy for me to say all that, when I've had a breeze of a pregnancy so far, and i do look around myself and feel so very blessed. I've suffered from depression in the past, and know how very hard it is to find the positive in a situation when everything seems so very black, which is probably why I work so hard at being positive now, and why I'm so evangelical about seeking out the sunny side

And it's so easy for all of us to see the sunny side right now, as we've all got beautiful babies about to enter our lives. That thought makes me burst with happiness, and I'm sure it's the same for all of you ladies