The PESH Deli - where black-humoured diffed BESHes turn to hormonal mush.

[CurlyCasper]

If you don't like the title, tough. I'm still talking

BESH BABYWIN STATS

This isn?t a fucking list ? right?

BESH BAYBEES
dontrythisathome, Bay Amaryllis born March 25.
Cheggers, twinz girlz, born April 12

UPDIFFED
Ponymum, the one with the worst hips, due mid June
CUNextTuesday, takes no shit from the Daily Mail, due June 28
IggyPiggy, The one who loves BUMSEX, due July 20
CurlyCasper, the ginger with the dodgy joints due July 21 (girl)
Skihorse, cradle snatching web geek, due July 22 (boy)
Carrots, organic hippy hunter, due July 25 (boy)
Cosmosis, the one that likes a good ride, due August 22
Pandora, She's got wings, due September 6
skatergrrrl, the one that overtook the rest, September ??
VAG, lives in De Nile, due 19 September
Honeymoo, puppy lover, due November 1
silversky, the biggest farter, due 21 October (first baybee)
okiecokie, self-confessed control freak, due November 6
SomethingSuitablyWitty, benelux babe, due November
ReginaMonologue, must-get-the-goss-from-ski, due November 20

hmmm. Like me, it's not very productive...
Nonethless, I shall run all of the above past my MW when I see her this week. Thanks cunty.

BTW PESHelles (and I know I don't have to tell a few of you this), hard graft plus a collapsing pelvis do not a good combination make! I have the worst pains down my fanjo bones today and keep clutching the most embarrassing of places

All I did was shift around a few boxes, scrub some cupboards, put up a fence...

casps hormones are def linked to allergies (based on my scientific study of one - aka me)

I used to get hayfever - but only as an adult and it stopped (along with my dust allergy) as soon as I stopped taking the pill... has never come back... wierdness...

testing - been unable to post all weekend...

well that worked. Hello all, I'm back.

cunty so glad you're ok!

I am allergic to tons of stuff iggy, maybe I'll go on the pill and see if it helps.

I missed you cosmosis!

Glad everyone is out of hospital, in possession of new homes and so forth.

Have no news. Lovely chilled weekend, bump in fine fettle, keep hitting 'refresh' on the BBC website like a demneted lab rat after a peanut to see if we have a prime minister yet.

I'm back! Thanks so much for all the good wishes! I was soooo nervous. I was bursting to go for a wee by the time I got there(nerves and pregnancy are a killer combination) but afraid to go, for fear I was supposed to have a full bladder, so the first thing that happened was that the doc sent me out to the toilet. I think my bladder was blocking the view . In my haste to get up and rectify the situation, I forgot about the gel and ended up with it all over my clothes. Not my finest moment.

Well, we recovered from that and continued with the scan - the pressing of the sonogram thing was a bit more bearable now anyway - but the quality of the picture was not great. The doc asked me reproachfully at this point has I been putting a lot of cream on my stomach. No of course, as I have no bump, so it would be mad - so that wasn't the prob. My private theory relates to the new layers of fat I have been laying down... Anyhoo, the baby was also facing the wrong way and moving a lot, but the doc perservered enough to get the two main measurements: nuchal was 1.8 and the CRL was 72, so both of those looked just fine. The doc then annouced regretfully that he wouldn't be able to see the legs given his position, but that probably they were grand and we'd have a look at them next time. He then attempted to get a couple of 'nice' shots to print out for us - a weird elbow close-up and an indecipherable blur. Gorgeous! Looked just like boyfy I tentatively expressed the view that they, um, weren't the clearest and the doctor said kindly "They are definitely not great. I certainly concede that."

But of course, we were dead happy really. Everything we could see looked fine and the very average nuchal measurement and size were reassuring as well. So that's it now for another month! We are going to tell people now. I am still waiting on bloods in fact: but I am hopeful they will be fine too.

Ski I think the breathlessness is totally normal as others have said. And I am sure that it is that that is triggering the asthma. Brace yourself for some mangled half-understood science partially recalled from my pregnancy book: as I understand it, not only are your lungs being compressed, but they also have to take in more oxygen in the ttidal flow for the baby and your body does this by essentially allowing you to hyper-ventilate all the time. This can result in breathlessness...Ta-da.

But of course I agree with everyone else that you shoudl see your MW, rather than rely on my expert diagnosis

Seems so iggy. Mine started when I was about 13, so could have been puberty related.

And, of course, I was on the pill from 17 and all sorts of other drucks, so maybe hormones and (almost) lack of medicines has helped. My skin seems to finally be improving a bit too. But that could be the sunshine. Or the steroids

Congrats on the scan switty. Sorry the pics weren't great though. Hopefully your next one will be crystal clear. Have fun revealing the news!

ski my (exercise induced) asthma deffo worse now than it was, I do a nice line in wheezing and coughing. I sound like an 80 a dayer

I iz back at work and Not Happy about it. But in better news, TGO's first day is going very well, with the news that he is being made a team leader, hurrah!

I suspect my PFB is simply searching for new and varied ways to torture me. All this said and done, I'm still more comfortable than I was 4 months ago. Some bracing sea air is what I need. I will stand at the front of the ship like Rose embracing that Tyneside air...

I have only one day left at the office then no more workee until June! yaaaaaay!

Someone has reported me to mn for calling them up on being a hypocrite. She suggested at the weekend that a certain man was out of order for cheating on his "beautiful wife" - I asked her if it was more acceptable to cheat on an "ugly wife". She is very pissed off and on the war path.

fair point well presented I would have said... now where's the link

Hello Peshes, and apologies for the ominous silence the past few days but I've been busy busy doing lots of shit I didn't really need to do but felt obliged to carry out, such as work and cleaning and vegetating in front of the TV .

cunty glad that you are all ok and your pee is behaving itself - thank you also for your private eye investigation on what it's like on the inside - tidbits I will value when I'm stuck on a ward with a load of whingy bints (from what I recall of my local hospital, the ladies wards (gyno) were not very crowded with just 4 to a room, which sounds pretty cool). I'm obviously expecting a red carpet to be rolled out for my arrival though...

swits hurrah for the scan! boo for the bladder! I had the same thing happen to me when I went for my 10+2, the lady made me go pee cos I had gulped a gallon of water on the way there and she couldn't see jack. My 12+5 scan is on Thursday in the morning and I'm very much looking forward to it! I will of course report in with a full update! (After I've swung by the pram place to check out a new set of wheels/torment the sales person...)

ski The party is this weekend coming, but I've made a start on phoning those ladies which have yet to cross over to PESH status. They both took it really well (from what I could gather from a phone conversation) and I'm glad I decided to tell them ahead of the weekend. I'm slowly ringing people every night, but easing off until the next scan just to be super sure. I have got Everyones Favourite Gay next on the list, not sure how well it'll sit in that family though since last I heard him and his partner were considering getting a friend to surrogate for them and his sis has just had a miscarriage... . In relation to breathing, I've noticed over the past week getting a bit more breathless, even walking around and talking on the phone at the same time can be interesting. I am assuming this is because of the extra oxygen I'm having to ferry around and provide which means I'm breathing much more...

boxy Igor the chick? You've just given me another possible name suggestion if I have a boy... Igor that is, not chick . Milo is btw, the current favourite

Ski of course I sneezed and baby just popped out, that's how it always happens! I think it best not to elaborate further on my birth experience until you have all had yours!

I went to a swanky awards lunch at the Dorchester today. "Celebs" at said lunch included Barry McGuigan, Ronan Keating (who is really rather short), Laurence Llewellyn Bowen (who I knocked into and nearly spilt his drink) and Darren Gough the cricketer but more famous for winning Strictly. The awards were before the main course and I was starving by the time the grub turned up at just after 2.00 and it turned out to be rather rare beef. I just ate it (go on shoot me) as I was soooo hungry and couldn't face sending it back, having the table wait and frankly waiting to eat any longer.

wit good news on the scan! Shame pics were not great but I think the pics all look the same anyway.

Is rare beef now on the banned list?? . I nearly chose Steak Tartare on Friday at a swanky London restaurant, but went for a medium rare chateaubriand with YOB.

Delish...

Celebs thing sounded fun okie. What took you there?

I just wandered in rots as I was in the area! I work in the travel industry and the awards were the Telegraph Travel Awards.

Soz for quietness on the fred peshies. Have been away this weekend and utterly pooped this evening after long drive home earlier.

Cunty really pleased you are ok and feeling better. Thought your observations from anteward very useful!

Twitty congrats on your scan. Really pleased for you.

Okie don't worry about beef. I've been eating potted shrimp all weekend. Yummm.

Ski so jaylous of your one day in orifice.

Will catch up y'all properly tomorrow.

Please pray to the baybee jeezus that my woofa goes to sleep in the kitchen tonight after a weekend of being spoilt rotten and sleeping cuddled up to me. It was lovely.

Well done switty! Congratulations on your large and healthy bladder!

okie Phew! I'm so glad you went down the sneezing route - we've enough emcs around here with boxer and fanny - plus not forgetting carrots giving birth using the aforementioned landrover and winch combo. Btw you mad cow (badoom tish!) - if the Dorchester is serving up anything contained in rare beef then you've got biiiiig problems. Rare beef is fine btw.

reggie Everyone's Favourite Gay wants a baybee? Well, I suppose it was inevitable really - what with being married for years, shacked up and proud doggy owner. Surely his mum can just buy him a baybee? maswera is our international baybee dealer. I'm sorry to hear about his sister. I'm glad to hear the phonecalls went well - it'll give them a few days to get any tears done with any luck and for them to paint on a brave face.

honey What's wrong with potted shrimp? I know, one day in the office huzzah!

Btw - one and all - this dress:

www.nextdirect.com/nl/en/shot/G53/10/4

came out of the washing machine at bum-skimming level. I'm taking it back for a refund this weekend - woe betide any assistant who tries to fob me off. I'm 36 and I'm a computer programmer - do I come across as the mini-skirt maternity-wear wearing type? (Do shops give people trouble these days on returns?)

No, rare beef ok, raw beef not ok - apparently the bacteria lurks on the outside so as long as it's cooked on the outside it's ok, you can have it as bloody as you like in the middle!

Off to play with de animals today, so away from t'interwebs.

sorry about the dress ski. It looked so nice too. I have an H&M one on. It's huge and I feel like a heifer.

I think it's because it's a sort of jersey material. I have another maternity dress which is 100% old-fashioned cotton - couldn't shrink that if I put a real effort in to it! Tbh it's too cold for dresses right now anyway. I'm currently wearing first-trimester jeans with the button undone. Glamma! My local H&M doesn't do maternity and I can't be arsed to go to the one by my office because it isn't that close to my office - it's across the river and 5 billion (conservative estimate) cobbles.

@ using landie and winch. Sadly said Landie is still compromised thanks to crappy insurance company arguing over liability. Bizarre but true - the BHDTA's (Horse Driving Trials) insurance apparently ONLY pays out if the driver was negligent. Meaning, if the horse bolted because it was stung by a bee, the driver isn't insured!!!

It'll be ok but it's a right rare beefy bloody hassle.

ski what's the weekend plan?

Honey - I only discovered potted shrimps during this pregnancy, and have been treating it as a pate substitute - hopefully it's not bad? I like my beef bloody, but have been asking for it medium to well-done atm, ie cooked, but not burnt. I'm taking delivery of a suspicion shoulder of venison today - will have to find out exactly when and when it met it's death before I serve it up for me (although none preggo have been known to eat roadkill before. )

Switty well done on the scan!

Ski I only had the emcs because my overdeveloped horse-riding muscles were so fabulously strong. I think they may be a little less robust this time though . Shame about the dress btw - it looked a nice dress.

I have had to take off my wedding rings again, but fortuantely I still have the nice gold chain OH bought me last time so I can wear them round my neck. I got all puffy last time (couldn't even wear shoes) but they couldn't find any reason for it. I just hold onto water well, and lost it all by weeing it out almost straight away last time. It was amazing - one minute I had treetrunk legs, next minute I had knees again! Still - I have 17 bloody weeks of this left. Boo hoo.

Duckling watch - I have 6 of the 11 eggs with little cracks in the shells now, but no ducklings yet. I am very nervous as I have never done ducklings before. I had 3 frankenstein eggs that a hen had cunningly hidden from me hatch over the weekend, and they are rather lovely atm, but I do wonder what they will grow up like. The parents are not exactly compatible, and they could end up looking like fluffy dishcloths with funny hats . On a downer note, my last-month-chicks were subjected to an aerial attack yesterday. I had put them outside for the first time in a chicken-y fort knox that there was no chance of the fox getting into, only for a fucking crow to eat 2 of them. I have covered the run with so much mesh now, that I have trouble getting into it to clean their water! I turned into mad gun lady again, and managed to hit the crow twice but sadly my gun is more of the 'boy toy for target practice' kind than a serious weapon (I am a bit scared of serious weapons!) So I have only removed a few feathers and given it a big bruise. Hopefully it is clever enough to realise I will keep shooting it till it either dies or goes away. Fuckitty fucking thing! It got a cock and a hen bird - gutted about the hen bird, it was the best one of the group.

Ah yes, and in between worrying about ducklings, crows, shrimps and shoes, I also have work to worry about now. Will I have a job to go back to? Or will my boss just sack the lot of them? Here's hoping he figures something out, I like my normal job.

Good news! I only saw the crow take one chick, and the nice hen I thought it had taken had only been hiding, as she is back today! Don't know how she managed to hide in a 2m square box, but there you go. She is Backinthebox.

Who wanted to call a duckling Colin? That would mean a boy, and I will be eating the boys. Roast Colin, anyone?

Ducklings on there way - 7 eggs with little cracks now, but no sign yet of an actual duckling.

Pics of Frankenstein chicks on t'other place.

box chicks are adorable!