The PESH Deli - where black-humoured diffed BESHes turn to hormonal mush.

[CurlyCasper]

If you don't like the title, tough. I'm still talking

BESH BABYWIN STATS

This isn?t a fucking list ? right?

BESH BAYBEES
dontrythisathome, Bay Amaryllis born March 25.
Cheggers, twinz girlz, born April 12

UPDIFFED
Ponymum, the one with the worst hips, due mid June
CUNextTuesday, takes no shit from the Daily Mail, due June 28
IggyPiggy, The one who loves BUMSEX, due July 20
CurlyCasper, the ginger with the dodgy joints due July 21 (girl)
Skihorse, cradle snatching web geek, due July 22 (boy)
Carrots, organic hippy hunter, due July 25 (boy)
Cosmosis, the one that likes a good ride, due August 22
Pandora, She's got wings, due September 6
skatergrrrl, the one that overtook the rest, September ??
VAG, lives in De Nile, due 19 September
Honeymoo, puppy lover, due November 1
silversky, the biggest farter, due 21 October (first baybee)
okiecokie, self-confessed control freak, due November 6
SomethingSuitablyWitty, benelux babe, due November
ReginaMonologue, must-get-the-goss-from-ski, due November 20

My first degree was in drains, rats, pollution and food poisoning. Not even half as exciting

I can't even remember the title of my dissertation in 1998.

Giz some cheese Curly and here have some of this lovely port to go with it.

I was an NCT coffee morning host and my thesis was totally money and business related, twas such a long time ago I can't remember it. Maybe I am loosing my mind? Maybe I could be the subject of someones thesis...

Gimme some of that cheese Curly.

Yes but Cunty you sound like you have one than one degree, now that is just greedy!

I started out naively doing International Economics and Finance with French and then realised I was waaaaaaay out of my depth with the maths. Only problem was I was one of about 6 girls on a course of 200 blokes. Hmm.

Ended up plumping for social and economic history with French. Cop out. I do know a lot about the industrial revolution and mills in Lancashire.

I have a degree in Sociology and Politics! Howzat for uselessness! I don't know much about anything, though am vaguely aware of sexual politics, nationalism and the Labour Party in the 1980s....

Could tell you the best drinking joints in Bristol circa 1997 though.....

VAG I don't use my degrees either tho - I haz completely unrelated career...

so hungry... going home to eat I fink.

I did not enjoy my NCT membership either. Apart from a couple of couples we met at the classes and are still friends with the rest was awful. Firstly, being very rural they put me on a mailing list related to a far away area that I never go to. I asked again and again to be put on a different list so I could find out about activities in the nearer towns that I go to more often, but they said no that's the area I fall into.

There was once a special one-off event vaguely near me (still miles away in an unfamiliar place) so I made a huge effort to get myself and daughter along there. It was agonising. The worst part was it was just before Valentines Day so they had coloured paper etc so the kids could make cards. Mrs Bossy Britches running the show very pointedly asked me "Would you like to make a card for your... er...?" expecting me to fill in "nice respectable white middle class husband" so she could suss me out. I was so tempted to reply "yes I'd love to make a card for my exotic lesbian partner / gay sperm donor friend / guy who date-raped me and left me pg" just to mess with her!

I've had much better luck meeting nice people at the free post natal classes and the weekly "stay and play" mornings held in a local church hall.

fanny your post made me laff... hehe...

All this talk of degrees and stuff I feel left out (my own fault for doing stupid work all day rather than perusing the fred...) I started out doing a degree in Biology & Microbiology then the Uni pulled the plug on it, so I converted to the most similar course I could find, Computer Science obviously! And yes, I only chose it for the ratio of men to women - got a rude awakening however when I saw the men in the flesh, geekdom! !

Thanks to all for advice on breaking the news to by BESH friends... I think I'll take the time to ring each one and let them know, that way they are all informed before my birthday and can get used to the idea and deal with it in what ever way they choose - also then the day will be about my birthday other than me being preggo so I'm hoping that'll work out fine!

Fanny that is crap - who do they think they are? the LEA? I've signed up for NCT but am dreading it - think I did just cos it seemed to be what people did (and I hate myself for that). Am not a good joiner-inner, and new people scare me. But hey ho - we'll see.

anyone for a sherry with that?

Mmmn double cream - god I miss that.

Like reggie I started with a Biology degree - decided I wasn't thrilled by the prospects and swapped to Software Engineering. 10 girls, 140 boys. We made a pact within the first few weeks to shag all the boys. By christmas holidays we'd reached the limit of those deemed anywhere close to socially acceptable (approximately 40 of them). The experiment was cancelled.

Reggie I'm very worried about your parents - I'm hearing that the islands are going to fuck too! What are they going to do?

Hah, I think I trump the lot of you for uselessness - my first degree was in Philosophy! (I subsequently retrained in something more useful though...)

He he... I started out doing pure maths, then switched to analytical chemistry. I had the choice of switching to biology but had this thing in my head that that was the science they expected girls to do, and I was am rather contrary.

okie you are right, my Masters was in Crisis and Disaster Management - much more exciting

ski for why you not having double cream? (I exist on it)

I see some of you are saying 'my first degree this...' and 'my Masters that...'

Show offs.

That's a bit harsh...

You do realise I meant it with a on the end? I don't know! Don't go all sensitve on me now Cunty I like you shouty and strong

Just one degree here and it was four long years worth of BA in Journalism. I won't bore you with the dissy title. No other qualifications. Stone me now.

Jesus box I've only just dried my eyes...

I'd be a full time academic if I could. I've had to forego doing an MSc in Dead Bodies because even I think I can't do that and look after a kid as well Shame as I've done the PGCert bit so I only need to do the dissertation but I suspect it will take more resources than I will have...

Just popping in quickly to say a big congrats to Okie, must be such a weight off your mind. I'm really pleased for you.

Oh well none of you will ever talk to me again because I don't actually have a degree. I dropped out and went proper full-on mental instead. I made a decision to leave - everything which fit in my car went with me - the rest I chucked in a skip. I stayed in a hotel for a week then hot-footed it down to that there Surrey where I spent a couple of months picking fruit on a farm before skipping across the channel and landed a really good job in Brussels. It's a miracle I can tie shoelaces (can't right now actually) give that everyone and their dog has a degree these days.

okie Sorry I missed you yesterday - I'm very glad to hear that you got a successful result.

boxer What a horrible cow - everyone knows you only got your degree and license because you brought all the boys to the yard. Boys to the yard.

Fanny I like the way you think (i.e., Maths/Chemistry) - I'm a sucker for facts and dislike all this fuzzy logic shit!

Btw reggie I think the idea of phoning them individually to allow them to digest the news is great. They will be happy for you - but to be in the pit of infertility is dire. Whilst I was trying two of my ex-bfs announced their wives were expecting on fb and both times it was a real kick in the teeth. Not that I wanted their seed obviously! But, just for a moment, let us suppose you were to tell everyone in a quirky fashion - the obvious solution would be to come bouncing down the stairs in an adult nappy (soiled ?) - skip around the room jabbing each and every person with the wet end of a dummy and shouting I . AM. CONSIDERABLY. MORE. FERTILE. THAN. YOU. It'll not be forgotten in a hurry!

Switty I haz news for you which will make your blood run cold. Please to check fb mail?

ski not many people can make me laff at 8.30 in the morning but you managed it just wonderfully . As for parents, I spoke to them yesterday and they are just going to ride the wave so to speak, the only think that will upset them will be the VAT increase since they are retired, though I'm not sure how it'll affect their plans of perhaps coming home, I'm pretty sure property over in Greece isn't all that attractive at the moment. We'll see, they're practically self sufficient on that hillside so all they'll need to do is kill a goat now and again (no offence veggitarinaites...)

curls no worries on the dopplar thingy - you've got enough on your plate to be worrying about!

okie great news! Another blow for all the statisticians that reek havoc on us mere mortals...!

rots I saw a documentary on a hydrocephalus fella - twas a man who was 30 odd, married, kids and half a brain. He was a normal functional human being, which is more than can be said for most of the youth of today.