The PESH Deli - where black-humoured diffed BESHes turn to hormonal mush.

[CurlyCasper]

If you don't like the title, tough. I'm still talking

BESH BABYWIN STATS

This isn?t a fucking list ? right?

BESH BAYBEES
dontrythisathome, Bay Amaryllis born March 25.
Cheggers, twinz girlz, born April 12

UPDIFFED
Ponymum, the one with the worst hips, due mid June
CUNextTuesday, takes no shit from the Daily Mail, due June 28
IggyPiggy, The one who loves BUMSEX, due July 20
CurlyCasper, the ginger with the dodgy joints due July 21 (girl)
Skihorse, cradle snatching web geek, due July 22 (boy)
Carrots, organic hippy hunter, due July 25 (boy)
Cosmosis, the one that likes a good ride, due August 22
Pandora, She's got wings, due September 6
skatergrrrl, the one that overtook the rest, September ??
VAG, lives in De Nile, due 19 September
Honeymoo, puppy lover, due November 1
silversky, the biggest farter, due 21 October (first baybee)
okiecokie, self-confessed control freak, due November 6
SomethingSuitablyWitty, benelux babe, due November
ReginaMonologue, must-get-the-goss-from-ski, due November 20

Switty your FB must be extra secure because I have searched your RL name and cannot find you! Please email me to the address in the post above and I shall give you a door pass

Dunnit. Hope it works.

Received and mission (hopefully) accomplished

reggie so sorry, I should have posted doppler to you and it's got stuck on a moving house pile of "stuff". I will do it, I promise

okie bloody hell what does your brother do for a living, that must be a fortune! My neighbour nearly made me pass out when she told me the fees for ONE child in nursery! I am so clueless about these things. I think what we will do, is put down names at birth for all the private schools in the area and then aim to get into our chosen primary school even if we have to wait into the school year. Not ideal but as I understand it, lots of parents have to do it that way.

Rots what seems to be happening a lot is that parents start off living in the ridiculously tight catchment area (rent places to get in or worse borrow friends addresses even) and then move much much further afield and subsequent children still get in to the school at the expense of people that live locally. This is quite significant given the lack of places. If the catchment weren't so small it wouldn't be an issue but as it is my view is that the pupils should be local, else it is completely unfair.

Welcome back OkieCokie and so pleased with the result!

Oh and sod off ash-cloud, Ive a holiday booked in 3 weeks time.

I am now very pleased for cunty whose child is ready for action, honey whose dog is on the mess and, most of all, cokie who has come out the end of a terrible ordeal. I'm so glad you can focus on the positives now.

Solicitors and home buyers pissing me off now. Going to take it out on my work.

Honey the sneaky private schools in the area offer out their places and request (substantial) desposits to secure them before the state schools dish out their places.

Curly I hear rots had a big tent, if all goes tits...

honey I see what you mean. It's clearly totally unfair to cheat the system like that. I wonder how it could possibly be policed though. I still maintain that siblings should be able to go to the same school BUT obviously that means all things being equal and people not cheating! So if they are, my feeling on siblings becomes totally unfair as you say!

Well we should all vote Tory then and start our own schools .

How come there are so few spaces? I thought labour was supposed to have done a good job at sorting out public services?

I am mildly freaked out that you are all thinking about schools already. There is only one school near us, in our village. It is less than 5 minutes walk along a pretty path through the woods. The rest of them are miles away in a big town. I have heard a rumour that the LEA are allocating a certain number of places at the village school to kids from the aforementioned town, due to them wanting to break out of town mentally or some other such guff. As we have a small rural council estate in the village it's not as if they have to work hard to make the school less exclusive - I could not help noticing that at least 10% of the kids in DD's pre-school class were from the same notorious local council estate family (and that's just the ones I recognised the surnames of.) So I am hoping DD gets into the village school, if only so we can walk there in the summer, but also for the local friends experience. I will get very cross if I am made to drive her down into town every day - I will have to drive her there in my Chelsea Tractor with all it's hunting stickers. The government should look at this when it bangs on about emissions and fuel tax etc. I need to get off my soap box about it now!

Okie glad to hear everything is alright! Have a glass of wine - one won't hurt.

About the NCT - I am a bit anti-NCT but that is all down to the woman who used to organise it round here. She was extremely patronising, and implied (with some emphasis in the fact my accent is Northern and I live in a well-to-do Southern area) that I was not as intelligent as the natives.She wouldn't book me on a course because I had left it too late - at 14 weeks . Then she got arsey when it later transpired that I had been wise to wait until I had at least checked there was something in there before I tried to book myself on a course, as she had had a few cancellations and wondered if I was interested now. Given that she called me to inform me of this when I was 38 weeks and had been on 2 NHS run courses (one of which was rather nice - run by a physio and all to do with positions and massage) and felt prepared enough, I couldn't be bothered to fork out a couple of hundred quid to buy access to new friends, when I had already met a bunch of them at the physio course. I did meet BFF's NCT friends, and they turned out to be perfectly nice and normal, but the snotty organiser woman put me off NCT for quite a while.

Fanks Curly doglet indeed on the mend. Fast asleep as we speak... little baby angel.

I know Rots I'm not up on the local politics enough to know, but great it ain't.

Okie it's all bloody criminal...

skater hands off me tent. We're off at the same time (hopefully). Considering taking tent as my brother said the worst place he's ever staying in was in Ukraine, where we're going, and the hotel room was so dire he pitched his tent IN THE ROOM and stayed in that, just to keep the cockroaches out.

He said it did have a loo in the bathroom, which was good, but it had been ripped off the wall, which wasn't so good. And probably explains the cockroaches.

So I need my tent

box that's terrible

Because the local peeps are volunteers, the few idiots out there can't really be gotten rid of. Obviously it's THEM not the NCT but I understand why it would put you off .

As I mentioned before, it may be worth considering the bumps and babies group which is free (or 50p donation, or maybe more down South ) rather than the classes.

Rots I actually had a little look at bumps and babes earlier, they charge a whole quid down here, dahlink! I won't ever forget the woman's exact words - when I expressed surprise and dismay that all the courses right up to my due date were fully booked with waiting lists full too, she said 'My dear, round here ladies are educated and they pee on a stick, then tell their husbands, then they tell us. You just left it too let, letting us know at 14 weeks.' She actually told me ladies were educated round here! What - and I'm not? (Of course the neuroscience degree and current job licence were a piece of piss to get hold of.)Gah. Anyway, I'm over it now. There are several women at DD's toddler group pregnant, one of them due the same week I am. So I have baby friends now - don't need to buy them .

Where in Ukraine are you going to btw? I used to fly straight overhead Chernobyl - explains why I glow in the dark! Never got off there, though. Oooh no!

What a stuck up cow! I would have been hard-pressed to restrain myself

Hmm, how's this for a claim to fame. A friend has just pointed out that throughout the winning showjumping round on TV a small child could be heard wailing. It was not mine! (But it was her best friend

Boxette whats bumps and babies? Is that the classes?

I am absolutely shocked box. I mean, clearly, no matter who you are and what you're doing you don't speak to people like that. I would have put in a complaint against the branch . Disgraceful.

Oh neuroscience? I did Cog Sci. What areas did you cover?

We're going to Crimea, riiight on the south coast where the Russian black sea fleet is. I've been before when my brother lived there - in fact a really important trip. He'd just split up with his long term GF and was devastated so I took a week off to spend with him. Now he and I had never been best buddies as kids, and he'd been travelling for years after Uni before settling in Crimea. But we found we really enjoyed each others company for that week, and we talked a lot about each other's relationships and so on, and at the end of the week I realised I'd had a better time with my brother than I'd had with my husband in years. So when I got home and within a few days got into a row with the ex, who turned to me and told me to "F* off back to Ukraine as he'd had a lovely week without me" I left him (hurrah).

They don't live there though. They got married in Gibraltar a few months ago, but that was just the formalities, and they're having the "proper wedding" in Crimea. He loves it there and has lots of friends there, and she's Russian so her family can easily travel there.

What were you doing flying over Chernobyl? YOB has a cousin who is a complete nutter, who makes films for TV (usually about Afrika as he grew up there) and he did one on Chernobyl. Very scary. Mind you, one of his recent trips was going to Afghanistan within the US army to make a film. He was telling us that he really wanted to buy an Afghan rug but the US army wouldn't "let him out", so he escaped from the camp and nipped into town to do a bit of shopping. I quote, "I figured I would be ok and fairly unlikely to be shot".

honey NCT do a lot more than just classes. They have an informal group of mums and mums to be who meet at someone's house for tea and biccies and a chat, let the babies play and interact and talk about whatever. Ifyou contact your local branch and ask them what they do they'll help. Ours does lots of stuff like days out over summer (school holidays) at various places like petting farms and things, which are brilliant for older kids but also sociable for babies and bumps. They are likely to do social evenings (restaurants, stuff like that) too.

Rots my neuro-speciality is pain . I did a project about the transmission of pain sensation in the thalamus in my final year, but did lots of stuff like keeping an old lady's brain in a bucket (legal and valid human disection for my anatomy module) and the pharmacological treatment of pain and other neuro-active drugs too, and some psychology. Hence my general aversion to any chemical which alters the activity of the brain - unless I know EXACTLY what it is and what it does I am a big fan of the power of the brain and non-chemical approaches to pain control, although acknowledge the value of certain drugs (I used to sell opiates - again, all above board!)

As for what I was up to flying over Chernobyl - err, my job! You remember? I was on my way to Kiev. Your bro must be a bit like mine. He has itchy feet, and is in that part of the world atm.

Just read your bit about the petting farms etc. I AM the local petting farm . I have just arranged to take in to playschool a horse, some chicks, a couple of ducklings and possibly the incubator with some hatching eggs in it. I held an open day for the local toddler group last August too.

boxy my masters thesis was on neuronal changes in the brain and their functional consquences (ie. Alzheimers, Parkinsons etc) - gotta love the neuro shiz.

Corr we're all brain surgeons! Or have we all heard that one. "What're you going to do with THAT degree then? Be a brain surgeon? HAHAHA".

Mine was more artificial intelligence focused. Learning about brain functions to then duplicate it in AI and so on. I really loved the biology though. Pain would have been really interesting.

I did a bit of Parkinsons (and therefore schizophrenia too) which was fascinating.

Loving how box protests at the legalities of opiate selling and brains in buckets

Did anyone see that (prob OU) film on hydrocephalus? It's quite famous in neuro circles. It shows 3 or 4 normal functioning teens/adults but they're introduced as people who are "apparently completely normal, except for the fact that they have virtually no brain at which point you expect some Hammer Horror credits or something.