The PESH Deli - where black-humoured diffed BESHes turn to hormonal mush.

[CurlyCasper]

If you don't like the title, tough. I'm still talking

BESH BABYWIN STATS

This isn?t a fucking list ? right?

BESH BAYBEES
dontrythisathome, Bay Amaryllis born March 25.
Cheggers, twinz girlz, born April 12

UPDIFFED
Ponymum, the one with the worst hips, due mid June
CUNextTuesday, takes no shit from the Daily Mail, due June 28
IggyPiggy, The one who loves BUMSEX, due July 20
CurlyCasper, the ginger with the dodgy joints due July 21 (girl)
Skihorse, cradle snatching web geek, due July 22 (boy)
Carrots, organic hippy hunter, due July 25 (boy)
Cosmosis, the one that likes a good ride, due August 22
Pandora, She's got wings, due September 6
skatergrrrl, the one that overtook the rest, September ??
VAG, lives in De Nile, due 19 September
Honeymoo, puppy lover, due November 1
silversky, the biggest farter, due 21 October (first baybee)
okiecokie, self-confessed control freak, due November 6
SomethingSuitablyWitty, benelux babe, due November
ReginaMonologue, must-get-the-goss-from-ski, due November 20

BTW, I don't know why raisins are evil. It was something i saw on one of the crazier threads here on MN. Someone was ranting about them being "full of sugar".

As for Shakespeare: OMG: I'm going to be a bad mother.

switty Feed your child "organic home-bred honey"?? Sorry, love. No can do. See infant botulism. Sounds weird, but tis true. No honey for infants.

And as far as I'm concerned raisins are fine (once you're past the choking risk phase).

Ha ha Reg I am DYING to know what you meant by announcing in a quirky way!!!! Yep echo everything Ski said. T'will be a major gut punch for them and I'd even advise calling them individually beforehand so that any probable emotional reaction will be avoided. That way they can and will be genuinely pleased for you in person.

Also NCT do refund - I checked that out as I booked my classes at about 4-5 weeks (yes,yes Virgo, organised,anally retentive, control freak, loves stationery and tidiness). I'd join, why the hell not? You'll meet lots of other peeps hopefully as nice as us and in real life too.

Twitty don't worry about facebook. It is written in blood that no one mentions MN and in al honesty its taken me ages to remember who everyone is in RL, so easier on here sometimes!!! I am shit with names in real life - for example someone from years ago has emailed me asking for a reference and I genuinely can't remember for the life of me which one he is. Oops. It is nice to put faces to names though.

I'm bored of just looking pudgy. I wanna baby bump!! My tummy looks mega fat. 14+2 - hurry up baby!!

Watched Revolutionary Road last night, now there's a film to make you doubt your middle class pretentions, get divorced and fuckoff to India a la that woman who wrote a book about transcendental medititation.

Dog is better. 2 jabs, antibiotics and special food for 3 days.

haha you 'orrible woman Fanny - now the poor girl will really think she's doing it all wrong. I personally didn't know honey would kill my baybee so would've fed it rather than normal sugar.

Raisins are full of sugar of course - but how many kilos per day were you planning on feeding your prodigy?

Also just discovered we are about 20 metres outside the catchment area for our v popular local school. And unless the LEA change the rules there is not alot of chance of us getting in. Oh good £12K a year school fees here we come.

• It's totally clear: I will be a terrible parent. I can't even be facetious without putting my unborn child at risk of botulism and brainwashing, not to mention bee-stings. What was I thinking?

I think all the Facebook oaths and codes of secrecy are a great idea and very reassuring. Looking forward to having a good gawk at you all!

"Dog is better than fucking off to India". Never a truer word spoken in jest! What was wrong with your diggle? Do they know? Or is it just a bit under the weather. I know who you are on fb honey but there was another lady the same evening - I think it's okie but I'm not 100%.

switty I got your fb request but I can't make it work because I'm a spanner so I've asked curly to try and figure it out. Glad to see someone else with an unusual name!

Okie doke. I shall be watching my mail with bated breath...

reggie

NCT will always refund the cost of the course if you choose to not go or (god forbid) if the scan doesn't go well. You don't need to sign up as a member (read the form carefully and it will tell you how much to send if you don't want to join).

I only went to NCT classes with LC. I didn't bother with the NHS ones but that's because locally they were shite. There's been excellent feedback about NHS classes in other areas so that's a very local and personal perspective.

I'm only doing NCT classes this time round for YOB's sake really. As my mother is a (retired) midwife I essentially get free and personal advice and antenatal care anyway and my NHS MW is brilliant, too. I do like the idea of getting to know people through them. Sometimes that works, sometimes it doesn't. I have two very good friends from last time and their children are of course almost exactly the same as my son.

The thing to bear in mind is that despite their best efforts (and they ARE very inclusive), at grass roots level, as it were, it is something of a self selecting group. Now this will be different from region to region so don't make assumptions about your region based on what you hear elsewhere.

I really enjoyed doing NCT stuff and it was a good way to meet people. The classes are one way, but you could consider going to the bumps and babies groups, or even looking into the committee. It's all volunteer run and you can go to a committee meeting and not volunteer for anything, just get a feel for it. Unless you're me. I went to the local one determined not to volunteer, but then I did. .

Me is woman in red (not white) dress if that makes sense?

Doglet had eaten something that vet thinks gave him gastritis. Was odd has he was still eating and pooing but not sicking that up as such. Just bile. Anyway gave him jabs, tabs and nice plain doggy food for a few days and he seems better. He also had a really strong smell and bad breath which in my condition was making me feel well pukey. (I've even gone off our handwash weirdly but don't worry I still wash). That smell seems to have gone now which is good. Poor love. He was sleeping on our bed over the weekend (back in kitchen now, yes I know) but on Sunday he started to be sick so I got him to do it on Mr Moos pyjamas (not worn at time) who was not very amused. Poor lamb.

Oh I geddit - dog is better!!!

reg announcing in a quirky way? I'm picturing balloons popping out of a cake, while cherubs sprinkle sparkly sequins and announce the imminent birth with joyful fanfare. Meanwwhile non-updiffed friends quiver with grief and shock and suddenly find they have to "leave early". (Or maybe not.)

P.S. I'm sure you'll handle it perfectly.

I thought she might dress up as a baby...

Just come back from MW visit. Head down, ready for action (Rastus, not MW). Persistent aggravating hiccups apparently quite normal (Rastus, not me).

I'm not doing any ante-natal classes at all. Going to a birth preparation workshop organised by my doula on Saturday where we will be whistling whale-song, weaving birth cushions out of lentils all afternoon. That'll do for me. Don't want to meet other folk, not round here anyway. I instinctively know I will Hate Them All and besides if the baby's a minger I don't want them whispering behind my back.

Word of warning from the wise (or at least experienced).

Raisins come out exactly how they go in, which can be disconcerting in a nappy.

Aktulee though kiddies seem to love em, and I usually had a packet in my changing bag for a mini snack. You can buy those cute little boxes, or for about 1 millionth of the cost, a normal bag of them which you then put a few into a tiny tupperware pot to cart around.

reg I meant of course that the children of the friends I made at NCT classes are almost exactly the same AGE as my son!

cunty

I have consultant appt tomorrow. At least it's something to do on 6 May, as I cannot vote!! One of the candidates in our constituency has most inconveniently died, so our vote is now delayed by 3 weeks. Prolly won't make a difference, but I feel cheated not to be involved on the actual day.

Hi PESHlets and welcome to recently diffed Grumpy

I have been lurking and not in the mood for chat since last Wednesday and have been in the PESH pit of despair, from which I am emerging today. Despite having a successful nuchal scan last Monday and receiving 1:400 risk of Downs the blood results came back last Wednesday and raised the risk to 1:210. What is wrong with my blood wahhhhh wahhhhh?

I dissolved in to a snotty, unpleasant mess last week. I had a bit of a chat with myself and with Mr C, my Mum (aren?t mums great?) and the consultant and decided to have the CVS last Friday. For me this was really the only choice as both risk of miscarriage and abnormalities were similar and I could not have settled for the next 6 months thinking ?what it?. Anyway, after what was the longest bank holiday weekend ever waiting for the results I finally got them this morning and all is fine! I have spent the last week in the Pit, detaching from being pregnant but I have hauled myself out of t?pit now and my own cloud of ash has fucked off. I think I will have a glass of wine tonight to celebrate.

So, nice to see you all on good form. Love the London meet up idea.

Ski tis I in the white dress and gload honey's woffa is better. Honey, don't suppose the school in question is also called Honey?

Cokie - I'm so glad! Hooray! Sorry you've been through the mill with it though.

Yippppeeeeeee she's back! So so so so happy that all is well and the relief and reassurance must be immense. You can relax now and enjoy the next 6 months of being waited on hand and foot with doughnuts (well one can dream).

It really does go to show you that these results can be scary but only a very slim risk nonetheless.

Yes the skool is honeywell (v highly rated primary for those further north). I can't believe we are 480m from the front sodding door and probably a tad too far. Right fkd off about that. Apparently though LEA are supposed to be looking at the criteria - i.e. ridiculous fact that families living in neighbouring towns but siblings getting priority. Madness. I'd love my kids to walk to school (I had a 45 min drive each day and could never play with the local kids - poor me) and have friends on their street...

okie sorry you've had such a rough time but SO pleased all is well!

honey Actually I do agree that siblings should have priority IF they're at the same school, otherwise it's pretty much impossible to get two kids to two different schools at the beginning of the day. But I also completely understand the nightmare of school places. Our village is in NO catchment area! How bizarre is that! We were very lucky to get LC into the school we wanted as all the local schools took from their local towns or villages first.

Is this for this baby or do you have another child (sorry I can't remember). You could still apply I assume? You could try making an appointment to see the head to discuss your child going to that school. It's not supposed to make a difference but I'm convinced that they will want to take on the kids whose parents make an effort.

You hear all the stuff about people moving to get into catchment areas, and house prices depending on catchment areas, and it sounds nuts... until you're in that position.

okie So glad the results are clear, but so sorry for what you have been through. I think the glass of wine is a very good idea!

Thanks Peshes. I am a lot happier today as you can imagine. I really was a scary time. I just need to go and have a scan now for peace of mind to check the CVS didn't do any harm. He checked all was OK after it but the control freak that I am I need to go and check again!

Honey brother had exact same issue as you with exact same school and missed out. Were offered a place at Belleville but ended up going to Thomas's - he has 2 there already and assume the 3rd will go there too when old enough = expensive! Name has to go down pretty promptly to be in the running with a place. Fuck me, madness to be thinking of schools this far in advance but necessary in that there London and especailly where you are!

Okie I'm so glad that all is well. That must have been very tough times for you, you poor thing. It's wonderful news that all the terrible worry was for nothing in the end. I'm so happy for you. God, I hope it all goes ok for reg and me next week...

Wit It will be. I took the hit for the PESH team!

If anyone is struggling to make their way into the ultra secure FB zone, email me via curlycasper at rocketmail dot com and provide me with the email address you use for FB. If I have this, I can smuggle you in without a friendship association.

But please let me know if you have mailed, because I do not routinely check that email account.

Now, to catch up...