The PESH Deli - where black-humoured diffed BESHes turn to hormonal mush.

[CurlyCasper]

If you don't like the title, tough. I'm still talking

BESH BABYWIN STATS

This isn?t a fucking list ? right?

BESH BAYBEES
dontrythisathome, Bay Amaryllis born March 25.
Cheggers, twinz girlz, born April 12

UPDIFFED
Ponymum, the one with the worst hips, due mid June
CUNextTuesday, takes no shit from the Daily Mail, due June 28
IggyPiggy, The one who loves BUMSEX, due July 20
CurlyCasper, the ginger with the dodgy joints due July 21 (girl)
Skihorse, cradle snatching web geek, due July 22 (boy)
Carrots, organic hippy hunter, due July 25 (boy)
Cosmosis, the one that likes a good ride, due August 22
Pandora, She's got wings, due September 6
skatergrrrl, the one that overtook the rest, September ??
VAG, lives in De Nile, due 19 September
Honeymoo, puppy lover, due November 1
silversky, the biggest farter, due 21 October (first baybee)
okiecokie, self-confessed control freak, due November 6
SomethingSuitablyWitty, benelux babe, due November
ReginaMonologue, must-get-the-goss-from-ski, due November 20

ski - i deffo didn't fink you was menkul - v. sorry you fort that... Is clearly not all in mind! But was just trying to be helpful cos hippo woman reckons it can make you feel better sometimes - will shut up now cos am a nobber

welcome grumps and yay for more diffed BESHes

lol @ iggy - you're not a knobber - you're our Barbara Woodhouse!

grumps Mileage may vary with these healthcare professionals. I've had a sharp intake of breath when I gave my weight at initial consultation - then not a peep has been mentioned until today - and even then, it's not because there's a problem... From reading around it really does seem to be the attitudes of the PCT and team you're assigned to - so fingers crossed you get nice ones. If you don't, "fuck off" always goes down nicely.

Jailbait's just been invited (more strongly worded this time) for a chlaymdia screening due to his age.

rots That's very good to hear about the holiday company - for me it's just sheer ease. You know, they've even got the baby bath there so I don't have to worry about that - and it's just going to be so nice to leave him in the creche in the chalet rather than fucking around wrapping him up and dragging him across town carrying skis... I'll probably have to knit my own yoghurt with a bunch of yummy-mummies from Fulham though.

cunty A colleague said to me yesterday "why don't you just not ski for 4/5 years?" [cunt]

ski in my experience there was a right old mix of people at Sunsail and noone was knitting yoghurts. Mostly really, really nice people actually.

curly Sorry to confuse you! I have been around for a while. honey's on the right track.

it's ok. I did some digging before I posted the second time and sussed you out!

ski we wuz also looking towards Mark Warner and they have good reviews on here too. @ not going skiing for 4/5 years. AS IF!!!!

We will be going either last or second to last week of Jan. You fixed on St Anton?

BTW I'll be one of those yummies from Fulham of whch you speak (well, I drive through Fulham on my way into work), although they are a breed apart by the looks of things

I received a Boden catalogue in the post this morning

cunty I will email you the details - a PESH meet-up would be bloody brilliant!

Oh... he also said "when the baby turned 4 they taught him to ski and they skiied as a family and he was really good". I did a lot of this: . If Julian skis like his mummy when he's 4 then Bode Miller had better watch the fuck out!

Just looked up Julian on babynamez and it means down-bearded. Comedy

Will only be going for a week but. Hom can't get more than a week off...

They have two chalets in St. Anton - the other one only takes kids during school holidays (thank fuck we're not paying those premiums yet! ) - I've also seen it described as being like a "youth hostel". Now I know it's not going to be the Santiburi - but one does have standards! Obvious solution? Send hom home 1 week early with a large bag of dirty washing! What the hell does "down bearded" mean?

Welcome to the thread, grumperina

Ugg. I has serious aversion to organised / package holidays of any kind. Is this really my future?

My friend who is due a week before me has emailed to say she is going to have c-section NEXT WEEK! (at 36 weeks) They have only just decided she has gestational diabetes and have gone into panic mode. She has been concerned about how much weight she is putting on during the pg, but they seem to have been very slow to do anything about it.

Typical in all this talk of larger ladies that when there actually is something to worry about they can't even manage that properly!

ski I also found out that Rastus is an ACTUAL name, not just made up as I've been assuming all these years! It means 'to love'.

NOT SKIING?????? Sorry, I know I was shouting there, but honestly, not skiing is a bit in my mind like not eating for 4/5 years - not compatible with ongoing survival.

Hello to the new girl - and hands of the stilton! How dare you pinch it while I am away for the weekend.

Badminton was lovely, but rainy. BFF drowned her Thursday morning BFN sorrows enough that she hugged me a lot. OH learnt the very valuable lesson that you don't let a 2 year old steer the dodgem and DD discovered a fondness for those blueberry liqorice pencil thingies - they stained her mouth blue, and her poo was also the same bright blue! It had to be seen to be believed. A great big blue smelly poo.

As for those of you who spotted me in all manner of badmintony places - can't I go anywhere? I thought about wearing a tweed mini skirt and fur headband, but then settled for the rather more practical jeans and dark green coat, given the weather. I did almost have an argument with a woman who was standing in the queue for the loos behind me. For those who have never been, Badminton has about 250 loos on site, which sounds like loads, until you realise there are 250000 people there over the 4 days and they are a bit overflowing and gag-worthy, and always have an enormous queue for them. OH went to stand in the burger van queue and I stood in the loo queue with DD and her stuff in a backpack. The woman behind me had a pray-on black tshirt and a bump and was loudly complaining to her friend that there should be special loos at places like this for preggos, or she should be allowed to push to the front of the queue. Then she glared at me. Now I don't know what was going through her head exactly - whether it was anything at all! But I seriously wanted to let her feel the weight of DD and then ask how she would like to carry that weight as well as the bump weight, and then drop hints about pushing past me in the queue. Instead I just said to DD 'ooh, isn't it getting warm now?' and unzipped my coat and turned sideways on so she could get an eyefull. I don't know - gives preggos a bad name! Maybe I should have mud-wrestled her instead.

Anyway - back to reality now. My MW came this morning and says I need to rest more. I'll put it on my list of things to do

fanny I too do not get on well with package tours - however I've been going around and around in circles worrying about childcare - and I really didn't want to have to get him dressed to drop him at a creche half a mile from the condo and racing back for 4pm. This seems the easiest option.

How much weight has your friend put on? So you're saying she personally has been worrying about it and they've ignored her?

cunty Do not call your child Rastus.

boxer He's normally OK - although he did tell me off for drinking coffee. The whole childcare when skiing thing is really pissing me off though - especially with the Canadian resorts not catering for little ones until they're 18 months old. Do these fucking places (RCR/Intrawest I'm looking at YOU!) really think that us ski women just want to sit in the fucking lodge for 2 seasons? I think you were very restrained with the bitchy preggo - and you SHOULD'VE said "oh I know... , imagine carrying one on your back too"!

Do Not? DO NOT???

I think Rastus Tuesday has a lovely ring.

ski is the queen of creating ultra-secure FB groups, vag. Perhaps if we ply her with gin and brie and pate and runny eggs she might oblige?

Can you tell I'm cheering up now SFF is being less of an ishoo?

hahah cunty You NUTTER! I am not authority - I barely have authority over this poodle x.

VAG Your BMI may be normal - but what colour is Clint's poo?

boxy I'm trying to picture what a pray-on t-shirt looks like. Also trying to picture two preggos mud wrestling...

ski She has put on loads of weight. I've not asked. When she first started getting glucose in urine they fussed and she had to do a GTT but it was inconclusive so they sort of stopped fussing for a bit. Now I think they're saying that that test was wrong and she does have it. She's on mental multiple insulin injections and weekly scans now.

cunty Please, oh please call him Rastus.

can't work out who fanny is...

am well fick these days...

in other news - I had a scan this morning... baby is all fine and measuring right in meddle of scale for everything.. apparently now weighs around 3 lb!

Am however havign a slightly miserable day as am having THE FEAR about what to do with a baby and whether I'll be any good at it...

That's me, that is, showing off my lovely perfect teeth.

Well, no treatment needed anyway. They're still a bit crooked and not totally white but I still haz a filling-free mouth (hurrah).

Told Dentist's receptionist where she could put her £16.50 checkup fee coz I am diffed, right, do you have a problem with that? (Or at least I said, "Actually I've got maternity exception. Would you like to see my certificate?").

So I've saved £16.50 being oop spouted. 'Course the whole "free dental care" thing sounds good until you realise that you can't GET any treatment to speak of while "in the family way", so it's bollox, really.

But still,

cunty you MUST call him/her Rastus.

Now wotcha gonna do with yer going against authority thing?

(buahahaha)

iggy Wonderful news! I know - 3lbs - that's like HALF a real baybee! I ended up in tears last night about not being able to do it... black dogs everywhere it seems.

fanny Poor girl. I have to take a wee sample with me next check-up - apparently this is standard (not just for fatties) - I suppose at this stage of the game they're looking for GTT/ketones/blue poo droplets.

carrots She wanted to see your certificate or believed the bump?