The PESH Deli - where black-humoured diffed BESHes turn to hormonal mush.

[CurlyCasper]

If you don't like the title, tough. I'm still talking

BESH BABYWIN STATS

This isn?t a fucking list ? right?

BESH BAYBEES
dontrythisathome, Bay Amaryllis born March 25.
Cheggers, twinz girlz, born April 12

UPDIFFED
Ponymum, the one with the worst hips, due mid June
CUNextTuesday, takes no shit from the Daily Mail, due June 28
IggyPiggy, The one who loves BUMSEX, due July 20
CurlyCasper, the ginger with the dodgy joints due July 21 (girl)
Skihorse, cradle snatching web geek, due July 22 (boy)
Carrots, organic hippy hunter, due July 25 (boy)
Cosmosis, the one that likes a good ride, due August 22
Pandora, She's got wings, due September 6
skatergrrrl, the one that overtook the rest, September ??
VAG, lives in De Nile, due 19 September
Honeymoo, puppy lover, due November 1
silversky, the biggest farter, due 21 October (first baybee)
okiecokie, self-confessed control freak, due November 6
SomethingSuitablyWitty, benelux babe, due November
ReginaMonologue, must-get-the-goss-from-ski, due November 20

Hmm... I think ski has struck on the most pertinent questions. I am dying to know the details about the house but it might look a bit tactless and graspy when MrP is supposed to be all professional and negotiating the Important Job Stuff right now.

But I Need To Know! What if it's on a main road and has no garden? A lot can happen to a house in 500 years. But I can hardly get him to say 'Send us some photos and a google map refence and I'll sign the contract today', can I?

I'm going to come over all sensible shortly. Of course I know the real answer is to assume that the house offer isn't in the equation and decide if we're still interested in the job itself. Sometimes I hate being do sensible and logical.

iggsy I'll do pic tonight.

That 'do' in the last sentence is supposed to be 'so'. (When my sister was at art school she used to write to me from the dark room, where she obviously had limited vision. Her instructions were: if any words don't make sense, look for what letters are nearby on the keyboard and work it out from there.)

oh CAS that horse is ADORABLE! I want one!!!

pony cooool.

I must be bored... am now debating the taking off of shoes in other peoples houses... is not as if it's important is it?!

iggy Have you strayed into AIBU? Tut tut.
P.S. I totally agree with you. Even if it isn't important.

I now realise I was completely stupid yesterday when I made all the spaghetti and metballs for the freezer. After the last experience of a newborn I promised to only make food that could be safely eaten with one hand while rocking a crying baby clutched to my chest with no danger of dropping food on the baby (yes, it happened). This dish clearly does not qualify, but now I can't even think of what does.

pone spaghetti is nightmare at best of times with two hands - How about some kind mash topped pie?!

Iggy my tour of the Portland was at one-ish, I was there with my sister and kept referring to her as "MY SISTER in case anyone thought she was my lover (disclaimer; nothing wrong with ladies loving each other). I really liked the midwife we had (Frances) who was lovely. But parents are advising -pushing- consultant led care. Decisions, decisions!

Carrots I will look into Nematodes!

I am also heartily sick of my maternity wardrobe already and I still have 5 months to go

Ski I have a feeling Im growing a boy, mainly because we have a lovely long list of boys names and no girls names. But after 1st trimester dramas I would be delighted with either.

Contrats on getting hitched switters!

And great news on the heartbeat maswera. Amazing isnt it? My GP fucked my dates up rotally so my 8 week scan turned out to be my 12 week scan... (so I had the dildo cam for nothing)

How was your grown up night out VAG?

Ponymum @ 16th CENTURY JACOBEAN MANOR HOUSE.

pony chicken curry, american chicken pie (I can send you the recipe for this if you like, it's not what google would have you believe!), chilli con-carne, stew & dumplings, shepherds pie, cottage pie, lasagne....

Got my midwife booking appointment tomorrow... yikes! Wonder what doom she'll cast on me... what did everyone else have to go through?

skater share the names? Go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on.

reg nothing exciting. Maybe a urine test, prob not. Check dates (remember to note down your last MP date). Take loads of details down. Give you a Bounty pack. Check blood pressure. You may be asked where you want to have your baby, maybe not. I just told her so I don't know if that's why it went straight onto my notes. You get given your notes which is a PITA as you have to remember to take them to the next appointments which I'm always forgetting. She'll prob not get the doppler out as it's a bit early, but she may, which is fab. But before you feel the wriggles it's brilliant when they do!

Thanks reginald, I got stuck thinking about sandwiches and pizza, so your suggestions are great. Please tell, what is american chicken pie?

You'll need about an hour for the first MW appt, but it's all paperwork really. Bit of a let down. You'll be given a pile of fairly condescending stuff to read (Emma's Diary ). If you dislike the prospect of aggressive unsolicited junk mail and spam for the rest of your life, then whatever you do DO NOT return the Bounty Club thingy.

Celtic names, carrots - Connor, Declan, Aidan, Callum - that kind of thing.

No girls' names yet!

Connora, Declana, Aidania, Callumna.

Voila!

skater those are some of the reasons I think it's a girl, we have no girls name but a boys name we both love so are bound not to be able to use it!

Callumna sounds like an inner fold of the labia. Nice though... Candida Callumna!

I haz come home to find enormous box from the "kraamzorg" (maternity people) - it's filled with giant fucking fanny pads, incontinence pads , hand wash, mattress protector, nappies, blah-di-blah and the cutest orange & purple tiger/horse/zebra combo for Julesbert. Love it!

Cossie congrats on your bump!

skater Why are your parents pushing for consultant led care? Do you have trick vagina or something we need to know about?

Peoples - to much to catch up on I tell thee!

When we next update the not-a-fucking-list can you change some details?? My farting has reduced - I kid you not! But I still has the talent for the occasional big 'un. Secondly EDD is 18 October !

Iggs which trainer does you know? I went on a gundog trainig day and LOVED it. I would go back up there in an instance as I loves their training methods. A. Lot.

Have also decided that I may have to give up riding from now on. Tis not comfortable. Feel like I is stretching and the normal 40min hack feels like four hours of torture. My poor hoss. I loves him but cannot ride him.

I am now 15weeks and a bit. Not feeling sick any more.

Oh and I have 'fessed up. Work know, friends know and some gals at the stables. I've not told everyone at work, I am letting the jungle drums do my work for me. As soon as I gave the relatives the go ahead to start spreading the word, we had calls from Australia within the hour!!

ski I too came home to parcels. Third one this week, all from ebay, my new fave site:

1. box of moses basket sheets and baby blankets
2. three quarter length maternity jeans (love them already)
3. lovely M&P curtains for the new nursery.

I iz well chuffed, innit

Is your box from the Dutch Government or do you have to pay? Seems like mums get loads of health even if maternity leave is not too generous.

Liking the celtic names skates. Not sure we're going to manage one for our girl afterall. Mind you, preferred first name does not sound Celtic, but appears in my celtic names book. we could not find anything for boys, so good job she's a girl

We haz few girl names we like and I have one boys name that I adore. Husband hates it. We will see........... watch this space.

Hey silv long time no speak! Well done on coming out. feels good

Remind us about your updates at the end of the fred, that's when stats will be done again. we'll find something else to say about you in the meantime!

curly It's standard - government/health insurance combo. Although health insurance is compulsary they're not going to turn their backs on babies/kids...

Also got a delivery of clothes from Next. yay!

compulsOry. I haz just puked again - Julesbert did not appreciate waiting until 10pm for dinner. I had a beautiful moment of sitting on the bog peeing, farting AND puking in to a basin. My PJs were wet across the boob and jailbait thought my boobs were leaking too!

oh no ski. sorry for the pukiness. Not good.

I always said you were a classy bitch ski

cunty I think I may have solved the giant fanny pad + incontinence pad riddle. My nose was running too if that helps paint a prettier picture. When I leak - I really leak!