Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Please or to access all these features

Birth clubs

Connect with mums-to-be with similar due dates to share experiences and support.

The PESH Deli - where black-humoured diffed BESHes turn to hormonal mush.

1000 replies

CurlyCasper · 22/04/2010 22:12

If you don't like the title, tough. I'm still talking

BESH BABYWIN STATS

This isn?t a fucking list ? right?

BESH BAYBEES
dontrythisathome, Bay Amaryllis born March 25.
Cheggers, twinz girlz, born April 12

UPDIFFED
Ponymum, the one with the worst hips, due mid June
CUNextTuesday, takes no shit from the Daily Mail, due June 28
IggyPiggy, The one who loves BUMSEX, due July 20
CurlyCasper, the ginger with the dodgy joints due July 21 (girl)
Skihorse, cradle snatching web geek, due July 22 (boy)
Carrots, organic hippy hunter, due July 25 (boy)
Cosmosis, the one that likes a good ride, due August 22
Pandora, She's got wings, due September 6
skatergrrrl, the one that overtook the rest, September ??
VAG, lives in De Nile, due 19 September
Honeymoo, puppy lover, due November 1
silversky, the biggest farter, due 21 October (first baybee)
okiecokie, self-confessed control freak, due November 6
SomethingSuitablyWitty, benelux babe, due November
ReginaMonologue, must-get-the-goss-from-ski, due November 20

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
CUNextTuesday · 26/04/2010 19:54

Is there any way of knowing for sure if the child is head down before the head engages? I know I may have a couple of weeks before it should drop but I'd love to know if things are going to plan. At the moment the head seems to be floating transverse left to right and all the kicks are on the right upper quarter, but sometimes it's really difficult to tell whether it's kicks or punches and thus impossible to tell which way round everything is...

Ponymum · 26/04/2010 20:09

cunty For your midwife visits from this stage she will feel for the head and will tell you where it is. That said, at my last visit she felt around for a while because of confusion between head and bum, and eventually decided the bum was where the head should be.

CUNextTuesday · 26/04/2010 20:23

Yeah she does have a poke around but I wondered if there was any way I could tell. I find it difficult to tell which hard bits are which but I dodn't know if it somehow felt different

Ponymum · 26/04/2010 20:39

Yeah, I have no idea. Yesterday I had a really obvious hill of something large and hard poking out on the right hand side quite high up - very wonky comedy tummy stuff. Logic would tell me it was his bum, but I can't relate this to where all the punching / kicking has been lately. I feel like he's moved significantly in the last week, but suspect he is merely thrashing about in protest at the suffocation caused by the farts on the other side of his bedroom wall.

OkieCokie · 26/04/2010 20:41

mooster we go to Neals Garden Centre opposite the prison (and homebase and B&Q at Smugglers way opp the tip). It is a bit overpriced but it has a good range. Went to buy some herbs there (the normal cooking ones!! I know what you lot are thinking!) and their mint was a bit shit so ended up getting a mint from Sainsburys for half the price and twice the size and planted that in a tub in the borders instead. But for other things and especaily unusual things it is really nice.

OkieCokie · 26/04/2010 20:43

They don't sell ride on mowers though, I may take a little trip to Chessington on Cunty's recommendation

CUNextTuesday · 26/04/2010 20:52

Remortgage your house first tho hokum, especially if you want to be affording baby shiz when your bloke wants to be affording power tools

Oh pone I'm glad it's not just me. I just can't credit that in such a small space I cannt fathom which way round my own child is. Not even the hiccuping helps - sometime it feels like i've got a trapped nerve in my undercarriage, sometimes the whole top of my bump is jerky. Mind, sometimes I think I do poke Rastus in the head, and he does object violently, but then I think, well I'd do that if someone poked me in the arse (just ask Hom) so I'm not sure even that is a good indicator

CurlyCasper · 26/04/2010 20:55

we are currently hunting t'interweb for big lawnmowers...

OP posts:
OkieCokie · 26/04/2010 21:03

Oh to have a garden big enough for large lawn mower. We have a flymo.

CUNextTuesday · 26/04/2010 21:18

Hom nearly got one with 7 gears and headlights Till I pointed out we had a garden, not an estate... cas have a butchers at my FB pics and video - see if that throbbing machine takes your fancy...

carrotsarenottheonlyvegetable · 26/04/2010 21:25

cas . Well, as you know, I'll kill and prep things myself to eat, but have you ever tried a slug? At least a pigeon has some meat on it .

cos 24 hour ride? I mean RESPECT! Seriously tho you're obv not riding for, like 24 hours, non? How does that work?

cunty it takes a lot of skill to figure out bum from head (until it's born - at that stage you're in trouble if you can't figure it out). MW I first saw in hopsital when in labour decided I was breach only I wasn't. Load of old bollocks. Are you doing your OFP?

OK so here's my weekend story.

Imagine the scene. Large, flat open field in front of the lovely house (cos you may have seen this). Trent river running down one side. Horseboxes in 3 neat lines across the field. We pitched our tent in the line running about 10 feet away from the river so there is line of horseboxes and 4X4s running the same 10 feet from the river bank. River is about 30 feet wide, with a 10 feet drop from the riverbank.

Next to tent is landie. Tent is about 4 feet away from back of landie with guy ropes filling in much of that gap.

Dog is tied up to tow bar at back of landie. LC is sitting on a little yellow camping chair right next to the riverbank looking at the river. If you looked between the landie and the tent you'd see him sitting there.

YOB is tying up a water bladder behind the landie, and LC asks me if he can go down to the river, and I say no (river bank is very steep). He says he's found a way down, I say no. He says pleeeeeze and I really can't be bothered (V tired and busy) but then decide that I've not seen enough of him that day so agree to walk 30 feet down the riverbank with him. We look at his "way down" and I hear over the tannoy that there's a loose horse - keep gates closed - etc. I'm thinking, a horse has slipped its headcollar and is trotting round the park, par for the course.

Seconds later (total now of 30-40 seconds from LC getting up from his chair) I hear the unmistakable sound of properly, absolutely freaked bolting horse. I turned around and saw a horse and carriage, driverless and the carriage on its side, horse absolutely totally lost it and full-on blind panic bolting, carriage clearly terrfying the poor thing, heading directly towards the tent.

I grabbed and picked up LC and just talked to him really calmly telling him to do EXACTLY what I say, it's all fine but just do EXACTLY what I say while I watch it and get ready to run in the best direction (ie out of the way!). I then watched while the horse clicked that there was a tent in her straight line course, decided whether to stop, decided not to, swerved around the tent and found the only route through was between the tent and the landie. I watched in slow motion while she galloped between the tent (imagining her then taking the brand new tent with her) and the landie, taking out the back of the landie, going right over my dog (carriage and horse) and directly towards LC's little chair.

At the last second she swerved away from the chair and riverbank - probably the bright chair turning her saved her life as if she'd gone over the bank she would almost certainly have been killed, and galloped up behind the other horseboxes, missing the rather expensive BMW 4X4 next to us. She eventually fell when cornering and 4 men jumped on her head and cut away the carriage, and she was taken away for treatment and ultimately was found to be ok, considering. She won't drive again, though.

YOB had managed to jump clear, thank Gods. LC was of course with me and fine, if very upset as he'd thought the tent was damaged, bless him, and incredibly, amazingly, the dog was very, very upset (not a surprise!) but not a scratch, bruise or hair out of place. How the hell that happened I have no idea but he's clearly crossed with a cat somewhere back in the breeding mix.

In the end, the landie is badly damaged at the back but that can all be repaired. The tent had two guy ropes damaged. The horse had cuts and bruises and the carriage was destroyed as well as another carriage (on its own, not on a horse) it hit en route. The carriage driver hurt his leg when he fell from the carriage. Turns out that the horse bolted for no obvious reason in the cones section (equivalent of the showjumping phase in eventing - they drive through cones with balls on top, against the clock and a ball down is equivalent to a jump down).

So that was one. I've not seen that happen, ie a horse bolting with carriage, for about 20 years. It's really, really rare. I was talking to mum about it and saying that I was really nervous about letting LC go off on his own in the horsebox park after what happened, even though I knew that was totally over-protective. Bear in mind this is a closed club event where everyone knows everyone else and it's perfectly acceptable for the kids to wander alone, and find their friends, as opposed to an open event where everyone's a stranger and obviously it wouldn't be.

The next day I was over at M&D's horsebox with LC, when what went past but a loose horse. Bolting. Harness flying, but no carriage. Apparently, it was a pre-novice driver whose horse had bolted (see a theme? ) and she'd pointed it at a wall to stop it, which had stopped it enough to allow them to cut away the carriage but then it broke free and bolted straight for the horsebox park and directly towards the landie - and the dog (Oh no, not again). Yob was there and grabbed the poor, terrified creature. Not the horse, the dog.

Horse went past this time which was good because this one was pointed at the FRONT of the landie and having one end of it trashed is sufficient for one weekend. Galloped past the other horseboxes and was finally stopped. Horse also ok but driver a bit bruised (bad leg kick, will fix) and carriage in a bad way.

I think it's absolutely incredible that this happened twice. It's so rare to have a carriage horse bolt and even rarer for it to lose its driver and really take off. But to have one gallop directly towards your entire family, and within inches of where your son was sitting just seconds before, over the top of the dog - I think myself and us all so immensely, incredibly lucky.

I was really calm while it happened (years of how to act around scared horses just kicked in) but about 20 minutes later I had a total breakdown and was pretty inconsolable for a while. I just couldn't get out of my head what nearly happened, and also that I hadn't shouted a warning to my husband - even though I knew there wasn't time - but I just felt awful.

Over the course of the day I thought it through more and realised how I really did need to "count my blessings" (take the pee if you want to - I would - but really, it needs doing sometimes) and just felt quite overjoyed at the fact that everyone was fine, even my beautiful puppy who was traumatised but not physically hurt.

So there you go.

And the guy ropes were the ones at the short end of the tent

CUNextTuesday · 26/04/2010 21:28

Am I doing my what??

Max respect for the post btw!

CurlyCasper · 26/04/2010 21:28

cunty much as I have memories of having a good ride-on as a teenager, I cannot afford one. I've just been looking them up and,alas I shall never be able to keep up with the Tuesdays

Seriously though, it's not easy to find something that will handle a paddock for under £200..

We have a nice little leccie one at the mo, but doubt we'll find an extension cable long enough to get it to the other end of the garden.

OP posts:
Ponymum · 26/04/2010 21:45

rots Well I am rather relieved that you had LC in your arms instead of him in his chair.

cunty I think she means Optimal Foetal Positioning or sumfunk?? Snorkel in the bath type stuff.

CUNextTuesday · 26/04/2010 21:47

cas the Tuesdays cannot keep up with the Tuesdays, it would seem from the joint account anyway.... we'll have to go back to being Mondays at this rate, and no-one likes to see that happen

rots what a narrow squeak! Sounds like the kind of eventful weekend you wouldn't want to repeat in a hurry...

carrotsarenottheonlyvegetable · 26/04/2010 21:49

cunty yes I meant optimal foetal positioning stuff as pony said. I'm boring about OFP and composting. I'm sure I'm boring about other stuff, too. Let's face it, I don't like getting drunk. I'm such a bore.

CUNextTuesday · 26/04/2010 21:50

I'm not doing Optimal anything at the moment. Must buy a ball, but not till payday (see previous post ref ride-on lawnmower)

CurlyCasper · 26/04/2010 21:51

scary stuff rots! Glad all (generally) ok in the end.

OP posts:
carrotsarenottheonlyvegetable · 26/04/2010 21:52

pony me too. He's too bloody heavy to carry - turns out you really can do it when you need to. .

Anyway, moving on, all fine . And LC hasn't been upset at all. I was concerned that he may have been made nervous of horses but not at all. He was SO proud of M&D when they got their "third" rosette and clapped his little heart out.

carrotsarenottheonlyvegetable · 26/04/2010 21:55

cunty get a ball - they're ace (I got a cheap one from ebay). In the meantime, try sitting backwards on a chair when you can, leaning over the back, say when watching telly. Avoid sitting back on sofas etc. Baby's back is heavier than his tummy so it will swivel towards gravity, so keeping your belly forwards encourages his back to swing forwards if that makes sense.

Honestly, having gone through a back to back labour, it really is one of the most important thing you can do to avoid a long, painful labour, interventions and being cut up either through the belly or to get a pair of forceps in.

You may want to consider starting perineal massage too.

carrotsarenottheonlyvegetable · 26/04/2010 21:56

Or not.

CUNextTuesday · 26/04/2010 22:03

I won't be considering it, I'll have to persuade Hom to consider it

Ponymum · 26/04/2010 22:03

curls "something that will handle a paddock for under £200"? I'm thinking:
(a) a couple of sheep; or
(b) a miniature shetland.

Cosmosis · 26/04/2010 22:16

yikes rots!! talk about needing a stiff gin to calm the nerves!

24 hr race - depends if you do team / pair or solo. If team or pair it's a relay, course is about 8 miles, one of you has to be on the course at all times, and you swap at the change over point at the start / finish. If solo (which I did last year and the year before) you can stop and rest, eat etc whenever you like - there is a big marquee to keep your food etc in next to the start / finish. Whoever does the most laps in 24 hours wins. Starts at 2pm Sat, finishes at 2pm sunday. Is a bit bonkers really, but nothing like pushing yourself once in a while

pone
(c) a goat? we'd love a goat.

Backinthebox · 26/04/2010 22:32

Bloody hell, Rots! That's a weekend and a half. One of my most embarrassing horsey moments was when the horse dumped a very hung over me and went in search of the ice-cream van at warp speed, scattering children in his wake.

As for shooting the pigeons - pigeon pie is very yummy indeed, but I would have to be standing right next to them for my gun to have any effect on them at all. I skimped when I bought it, and was also mildly worried about buying one I could actually inflict some real damage with. It is just fine for shooting rats with, though Funnily enough, we don't seem to have as many rats as we used to.

I has never done drugs any stronger than codeine for a hangover - a couple of lectures on brains melting while at uni saw to that. However, I did get along very well with the G&A last time. I will be making sure there is more of it involved this time. No pethidine, though. I didn't really like la-la land.

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

This thread is not accepting new messages.