10/10 Babies - The sun is showing and the pumpkins are growing

[Hermya321]

Here we go, pull up a deck chair, catch some rays and help yourselves to a mini eggs ice cream.

Link to the stats list.

Hello ladies and bumps,

Have just got back from toddler group where I got to cuddle my friend's 3 week old baby girl! She was soooo gorgeous and snuggly, I didn't want to give her back My DS was very good about it too - normally he gets a bit shouty and jealous if I pay attention to other babies, but I suppose all the talk of the baby in my tummy has got him used to the idea. He wanted to know why she didn't have any shoes on

I've got my MW app on Monday for the triple blood test and to book my 20-week scan/consultant appointment. I'm going to ask her to listen to the heartbeat too, though I am happy things are OK as I felt a huge floppy flutter on the train this morning - took me quite by surprise!

I'm planning to finish work around mid-August, as I have lots of annual leave left to take and also suffered with SPD last time so don't want to leave it too late. Have booked DS into a pre-school two minutes down the road form my house, so at least won'thave to drag him very far in the mornings from September!

That decides it then ! will hang on til the next appt and ask them to start again with my care. When I asked the MW when I was changing my care she kepts saying it will have been done at your booking appt but I didn't have a proper one as the MW didnt have enough time

floozie/abfabT basically I got pg very soon after a horrendous mmc at 12wks, told my boss who immediately started disciplinary proceeding against me re my performance post mc. The bullying continued until I left. At 30 weeks ish I was also severely anaemic, so would have struggled with full time work anyway - its alot of standing up/lifting/45hr weeks etc.

Re when to finish....this pg is really different to last time, I feel great etc, last time I felt awful. I know people who worked until 3 days before due date and were fine, and people signed off due to pre-eclampsia from 30 weeks, SPD from 32 weeks and I would have done for anaemia. Its really hard to predict. I would advise stopping 3-4 weeks before, as you are enormous, want to nest in your house the whole time and really should treat yourself for the last time (I went to a spa and got everything sorted I hadn't been able to reach just in time for the birth - a girl has pride you know!! I can still remember focusing on my pedicured feet during the birth!)

floozie sorry to hear your results - I guess as you say lots of other risk factors have pushed it into high risk. I haven't had mine done - as you say, other things are more likely and we don't test for them. If you are concerned re risks from amnio, have a serious think if you will abort the pg if it is downs. If the answer is no then maybe the risk is not worth it? Its such a difficult decision. I'm more likely to give my ds MS, so we decided not to test for anything else - what will be will be. I will love LO no matter what!

LOL spot the one allowed back on the computer instead of iphone - ESSAY

Nymph sounds like a good plan, if they start again from the beginning at least there won't be any assumptions made about what your previous rather crappy mw did or didn't do and say

I am planning to work as late as possible this time providing i stay well enough. with DD I was signed off for the last 5 months and got bored, frustrated and lonely so will do anything poss to avoid that again

I'd like to work as late as possible just to get the most out of mat leave but I do appreciate that as this is my first baby I have no idea what it feels like to be heavily pregnant!! Perhaps I'll just be desperate to stay at home!

Nymph they have been spectacularly awful, try this link - it tells you about the blood tests they should have taken at booking in:
www.nhs.uk/conditions/Antenatal-screening/Pages/Introduction.aspx

x

Thanks, Dilly. Hope the chat re the course in October goes ok! Eek!

Goodness me, SeaShells. That is truly dire. I just don't know why there are so many people who behave like this!!! What doesn't break us makes us stronger, hey!

Thanks everyone will ask anyway but doubt they will see the logic!

seashells that people can get away with all that!

I was very and broken at the time, but he had gone after others in the company too. I had a case for discrimination, but its complicated as with all these cases, but decided I wasn't strong enough and still had no complaints against my profession competence.

left with my reputation intact and ate cake

My bro has a bloke like your horrid boss for a boss seashells, ended up putting my bro in hospital with depression...there are just such speshy people out there...glad you got out intact, girlie! He'll get his....

xx

Seashells Thats horrible! He would have been dragged through a court on his ass backwards if it had gone that far, and I would have shown up especially to help with the dragging. I understand why you left, if I had been in your position I probably would have done the same thing. But what an ass!

Nymph Good to know they're starting you from the begining with your care.

I seem to be having ever more soap box moments since I got pregnant.

Similar. There are no complaints about my work, I've been there nine and a half years and have a perfect track record (didn't even have a single day of sick leave in all that time either! Not one!). Shame right at the end, just as I am pregnant, it's come to this. I'm making up for nine years' worth of sick leave not taken. Sounds fair.

He's also bullied people out of my department before, three people just left very soon after he took over. Not sure how he's gotten away with it, really, but he is cunning and clever, and manipulates it so things look different to how they are, though anyone with any sense can really see through it. Just hard to prove - as with your case, SeaShells, it's 'complicated'. I am sure Karma will bite him on the bottom soon.

The only good thing is that my maternity pay is actually extremely generous, and I will get that, no doubts at all. They (Personnel) are also good about stuff like encouraging me to go to the GP to get signed off and look after my health/that of my baby.

Anyway, onwards and upwards, I have FAR better things to think about, and my future is bright. And I have a perfect husband, wonderful family, including all my in-laws, my homelife is wonderful, and that, to me, is far more important than nonsense at work.

I am also putting things in perspective when a close friend just had a m/c, things like what happened to Tiny, and stuff like that.

Where are Friday's Five questions!!!

hermya hoping they will not that they are!

God there are some right awful bosses around from your stories- feel lucky now!! A bit of power just goes to their heads- how they get to a position of power in the first place is worrying.
People like that just aren't worth getting down over xx

Seashells I used to have a horrendous manager who wasn't as explicitly bad as yours but was a bully, barking mad and hopelessly incompetent at her job. So many people left because of her (all of whom a million times more useful/talented than her) including both the women and one man who had babies prior to me. she used to treat people with kids terribly then totally abuse the system herself, including bringimg her own children into work if she had childcare issues. Such a hypocrite as she used to say to people "your childcare arangements/problems arent my concern". Thank god she went to another dept just as I came back from mat leave as there's no way I still be there if she was. She would havemade life too difficult. Fortunately everyone I work with now is lovely.

Have had a sit in the sun, mum's homemade soup and a long nap while she takes ds to the park and I feel loads better. Only have to face the wrath of dp now for not coming back when I thought I would .

Abfabt, i can't remember what my crap tip was, it was that bad! Be warned, this is what motherhood does to the memory (mine anyway). It was to win £100 of clothing vouchers though, I do remver that.

Can someone tell me what ETA stands for in mumsnet? I've only ever heard it used elsewhere as estimated time of arrival - don't think that can be right...

Friday's Five Questions. Let's be boring..

Favourite..

TV Show?
Band?
Book?
Film?
And, of course, Food?

TV Show - House (did you guess?)
Band - Editors
Book - Brave New World
Film - Terminator
Food - It's mushroom and aubergine curry today

Sam12 xposts - I read a report once
saying there are more sociopaths in middle management than any other area of
society! After my experience and a similar one of my aunts, I totally believe it.

floozie, glad your work environment is nice now! Sounds like a lot of us have been through similar.

ETA = editted to add.

Favourite..

TV Show? How can I pick one??? Guess I would have to say 24. But it's a close one! Do love House too!!!
Band? Flight Of The Conchords.
Book? London, The Novel, by Edward Rutherford.
Film? All of the Die Hards.
Food? Curry! We always have the same thing: brinjal (aubergine) bhaji, saag (spinach) bhaji, spinach dhal (lentils and spinach), Bombay Aloo (potatoes), garlic rice and paratha. Yummmm! I just ate last night's leftovers.

floozie, ooh, I'd love to see that report! I'll photocopy it and send it to my office!

I think you are right! I've told a few friends and family my story, and SO many of them have come out with very similar tales. Why isn't everyone just nice to each other???

Friday five got forgotten about! Toddler turned into a gremlin at 5 this morning and hasn't stopped!

Karma is beginning to get him- a collegue who stayed now has a 'no holes' case of racist discrimination agaisnt him, so we shall see. Can't say I'm not smilng and willing him on!He is beginning to calm it down though- lost 5 key members of staff in 12 mths and one off for depression( prev 15 yes no prob)

sorry others have had to endure such fuckers

Tv show-Loved dr cox on solar system, but generally anything about building dream houses!

band-lots and lots. Currently listening to dusty Springfield and kt tunstall alot
book-Anything by philip Pullman. The man is a legend.

film-volver
food-cuurently tzakziki on bread but anything - curries, Thai, tapas, love smoked salmon, anything cooked by mum.

ILGH, just seen your photos - what yummy boys you have!

SeaShells, well I hope the case sticks and the Karma truly does wipe the floor with him.
Amazing to lose five members of staff and one off with depression! Like I said, when my manager took over our department of eight people, THREE left within a few months, and now me off with work-related stress!!! Says something, huh!

That report speaks the truth!!

Thanks AbFab. They are fab wee boys.

By the way, I was 20 years in HR before throwing in the towel so if you need any advice let me know. Here's one you probably already know - document EVERYTHING and date it. Contemporaneous note taking is very important and will have the added benefit of reassuring you that stuff has happened the way you remember it, not how some sociopath chooses to twist it.

lol about the sociopaths in middle management!!! Isn't it incredible that everyone in the company knows who these people are and what they do but they still keep their jobs?!

OK, told my work colleague (who is not a sociopath!) and she was fine, so that's that done and now off home and smacked legs for me for getting so wound up about something which was fine in the end.

Have a wonderful evening all (time zones notwithstanding!)

xxx