PESH Deli - Taking the B out of BESH

[skihorse]

A new thread for the gabbers.

Hopefully we will find out during the course of this thread whether dear cheggers has laid a baybee or two yet!

honeypoo "can't believe you shaved your legs out of a bowl".
Dear, sweet, innocent girl... you have no idea about the humiliations that lie before you! That was positively dignified.

Window shutters sound ideal. But I'm in the camp of thinking it would be convenient if my baby slept under wider circumstances than just the perfect 100% dark room at home, so I've been flexible with the environment / noise level from the start.

silverado Good your husband will be there for the MW appt as it will save you having to mis-remember how much Danish (or is it Norwegian?) ancestry he has and also exactly how old he is. (I got both of these wrong on the paperwork and he hasn't let me forget it!)

honey my pups were 32f and they are now 34e. So I have put two inches on across my back. I am dreading getting back fat and on Saturday when we went out, I spied that I am verging on a muffin top.

The sickness ease off about 10 weeks, though being at work made it worse, prob worried/paranoid etc about being in the office. Not so bad at the weekends at all.

Just read anuvver fred about a lovely laydee who had her scan and found her baybee had died, poss at about 9 weeks. Well, I can't stop crying as am emotional preggo, then of course cos then of course I panicked big time and have bauled down the blower to Husband who was wonderful and for once said all the right things. I loves him.

honey agreeing that boiler won't bother baby at all. In fact it's good for them to sleep through noises, less tiptoeing around.

I made nighttime really dark (with blackout curtains) and during the day he slept wherever I was (in full light). I felt it was important to do this to help his body clock to adjust to day/night. Which it takes them a while to learn.

I've been out and about for 2 days and I feel as though I have NO idea what anyone is on about! So sorry if what follows is randon warblings and sorry if someone has imparted a hugely important piece of info that has just completely passed me by - I'm not ignoring anyone!

Moo Oh to have 33% pay! That would be lovely. Instead I will be surviving on SMP - yup, that's right, 108 of your British pounds each week. My boss is so generous Even better, I am not being paid now what I would normally be getting each month because we get a basic salary, allowances, and an hourly rate for flying. As I am not flying I don't get the flying pay, and as I am not staying away from home I don't get the allowances. Instead of these I get a 'grounded supplement' which is a complete load of cack compared to what my paycheck would normally have. Complete discrimination, I am sure. But I don't mentions it to my boss - oh no! - because then I can happily yank their chain wrt getting my own way when I go back to work and not feel at all guilty for earning lots of squids for jollying about. It's still a pants maternity package though. AND I STILL CAN'T GET MY FUCKING GROUNDED JOB TO WORK PROPERLY. Sorry, was I shouting there? Just feeling a bit frustrated. Let me back in a plane - it's safest for me there!

And who's talking about a doula? Very sensible idea. Blokes, with the best will in the world, have a general tendency to get upset when they see it stings a little bit, and feel all helpless. Then they become useless. If nothing else a doula will coach your bloke to be the best 'bloke in a birth room' there is, and coach you through popping it out quick. I wish I'd had the idea first time round.

Silver all horses turn into tits on the first day of spring. Mine was helped in supressing his general tittiness by being ridden by me on Saturday morning, and then my helper girl rode him on Sat afternoon and got lost. Poor lad was hacked for nearly 5 hours that day! Then he went to an XC competition on Sunday where we nearly had to carry him round. He tripped on a corner and skinned the back of his knee just above his boot. Obviously he knows he is being advertised for sale this week . He was back on fine tit form today though, and shredded a new rug.

Back to Moo again. Don't worry about noise. we spent every evening when DD was tiny doing DIY with some seriously noisy tools, and she never woke up. And she's not deaf! (She can hear a sweety wrapper rustling from 2 miles away )

As for bras. I don't want to cause complete paranoia in the first timers, but here are 2 bras I wore less than 12 months apart last time round. I still don't fit back into the first one, but I could wear the second one as 2 hats!

honey no, I get 90 per cent for the first bit, then 12 weeks at 50 per cent then bog standard maternity leave for the remainder. It's shit, especially as I am the main breadwinner, but we are saving like crazy now in a bid to have the deficit in place before I finish.

pandy i'm pretty sure SMP is about £123 now...

I need to get bigger bras again this week. Thankfully I have saved up more M&S vouchers

ello ello all

have had manic couple of days so missed loads but i had to say - ski!! - cannot believe you stabbed your own fanjo with a steak knife. i seriously winced when i saw that.

thanks for the reminder to go look at my contract and see what the crack is with maternity pay.........sure it will be similarly pish, ballet companies not being renowned for being minted

yayayay for the rugby - v pleased

re noise - apparently hearing test person in hospital told friend who had just had baby to do normal things around them eg hoover, talk etc so they go to sleep other than in total quiet and dark - just like you says pony

not so pleased that i was awake throwing up at 4am today

fucking fuck

rots I'm so very very sorry, I thought it was poo not grapes.

honeymoo Yes, I did my poonani in with a steak knife. I was in Canada and although I had insurance I couldn't face an enormous bill, antibiotics and told not to exercise - I was on a bloody ski holiday. Cold weather is most welcome at such times... I just bought a big bag of salt and took lots of salt baths. Btw, McDonalds is normal preggo food - if you feel it's too unhealthy try swapping it around with Burger King or Subway. Btw, wrt your maternity pay - is that even legal?

I haz been having quite regular sex. There has been no swinging from the chandeliers especially as the bump gets bigger as it hurts. When there was no bump I was extremely sensitive to any pressure on my abdomen at all... jailbait has accepted that the sex will be less "enthusiastic" than before but seems happy enough. Obviously he has to time it - suggestions after 6pm will be met with a sneer.

I had a Julian-Mogwait moment this morning! We were doing the weekly bump photo thing and the flash went off and he really jumped - made me laugh my head off. I'd read that they're getting to the stage where they might do this but I really didn't realise it'd be so dramatic!

Silver I'm glad all is going well with the horse and I think it's a great idea for hubby to be there for any/all of the appointments. Jailbait missed his first midwife appointment yesterday and he was gutted. As for clothes, I bought a size up in jeans and did me until I got my maternity jeans a couple of weeks ago (20+ weeks). Actually I can still fit in to those size up jeans but they're just not comfy. I am LOVING my under-the-bump jeans which I'm surprised about tbh. I thought over-the-bump would be more comfortable but I'm going to be heavily pregnant in the summer and I think I'm going to want as few layers as possible.

honey From what I understand your baybee will love the humming boiler noise (oh, i see everyone's already said that!). Also, to my amazement yesterday - having breakfast at IKEA (1 euro if you please! ) there was a lady at the next table with a tinee baybee in a maxi-cosi which was fast asleep despite it being so noisy in there. I was stunned. Maybe she drugged it? It was soooooo gorgeous. I love being able to look at the baybees now without looking like a weirdo.

pandora I am seriously stunned by your being on SMP! I'd have thought you'd have been "very well looked after". I really don't see why you couldn't/shouldn't fly - you're not going to be doing any Maverick/Goose stuff are you? As for your big boy scraping the skin off his knees as he goes up for sale? He's trying to tell you something... It is of course typical.

I'm on full pay (minus petrol) for 16 weeks then I'm expected back at work. I can drop my hours without punity for the first 5 years but obviously the pay will drop with them. Jailbait started a new job last week so that helps. I'd like longer on maternity leave but financially I'm just not in a position to do so. The fact that he will be doing the childcare is a blessed relief because I doubt very much I'd be ready to hand him over to a "stranger" come November.

Switty Scan update please? Which hospital have you chosen?

sal If it's any consolation I only ever woke once at 4am for the voms. Don't put up with the shit I did - I didn't approach the doctor until I was 12 weeks because I thought it was "normal" - it clearly wasn't/isn't. i.e., I'm STILL puking at 22 weeks!

I know the sexes of 10 baybees born in 2010 (2 already here). 9 are boys. 1 is a girl (curly's). Wtf?

I'm sure when we were in our late-teens, the meeja told us we'd not be able to breed boys due to the oestrogen in the water.

Gosh I feel very fortunate wrt maternity pay - we get 30 weeks full pay then 9 weeks SMP before coming off pay for the remaining 17 or so. I have a feeling (maybe I heard it on here) that I can average the pay out over the 39 weeks so it doesn't drop from just shy of £800 a week to £125 a week all at once, which would be something of a PITA.

And we are saving too so should be ok. Will be going back after 39 weeks though - can't afford to not be paid plus I got things to do innit. Will have heaps of leave to take which will be useful, and then I'll go onto compressed hours 4 days a week. I do the hours anyway every day, I just amass loads of flexi which I then don't have time to take so it will be a) cheaper on childcare, and b) means I'll have an extra day at home with Rastus.

Not diffed yet but re. Maternity pay - I haven't had a contract for 2.5 years (don't ask). If some of them get their way I'll be on 90% pay for 6 weeks then SMP for the remainder. ie, we will not be able to pay the rent, and full-scale disaster will ensue. Not even joking. Would have to move - possibly out of London Tahn, the bright joy of our hearts, the only place we've ever wanted to be, home to our families for generations (and so on, in increasingly Dickensian fashion).

I hold out hopes that they'll give me the better deal - but even that's only 18 weeks on 90%. Damn you Cunty! Damn your eyes! (although obviously I am v pleased for you).

In other news I seem to have full on PMT judging by the amount of weeping yesterday so suspect you shall not see me in the deli for a few weeks yet .

But onward! Onward!

I am on 90% for 6 weeks then SMP after that, I?ve never worked anywhere that offers any more than that. Thank god for mortgage holidays!

Rots, I know internals aren?t for checking the baby, they?re for checking the progress of labour ? but one of the reasons for babies getting in distress is labour not progressing. TGO is a medical negligence solicitor ? so actually knows a hell of a lot about how labour should happen

Headbanger, do not fret, I thought I ham pmt the month I was diffed.

A lesson to all you preggos out there. Do not watch the episode of MASH that was on last night, where Radar goes home. It will involve a lot of weeping.

Pubic Sector innit - their employee benefits really are good, to make up for the rubbish salaries and grinding bureaucracy. Once Rastus is born I could take a 5 year career break if I so wished, without giving up my employment or pension. Can't say I'd walk back into the same job and of course you don't get paid but it helps knowing that you don't have to make yourself redundant if you want to see you little one grow up.

We can't afford to give my pension away, which is why I'm tied now to my job until I die retire. That's the way they get you, you see. Golden handcuffs...

Like cunty I will want to get back to work and thankfully have a lot of holiday to take. I'll be going back late-November, working for a few weeks the off at xmas, off in jan for skiing, etc. I can also work from home which makes things much easier.

headbanger There's always a call for online preggo-porn. Get yourself some sexy 39-week differ lingerie and get out there. You can ask pony where to buy mucky undies for heavily pregnant women. As for your not being diffed - like I said before, I was so angry with myself the night before I tested for even beginning to imagine I was...

Cossie I wept yesterday at the midwife - birth announcement cards. I then sniffled in the cafe - baybee. The walk with the dogs involved baybee goats.

Preggo porn. Now that IS a thought .

Oh GOD cunty why did I ever leave the Civil Service?!

talking of tits - seeing as I started at a 34 F - fuck knows where am gonna end up... but am already steadily climbing...

Mat pay... I get 8 weeks full pay - then 18 weeks half pay + SMP I fink... then I get SMP for 13 weeks - then I have 13 weeks unpaid - but I will have amassed 5 weeks of leave - so can take that as part of those last 13 weeks - and get full pay agin - innit... Plus - I iz not main breadwinner - but I iz def going back to work innit. There is on site nursery... Dunno how many days I will do... I guess 4... poss compressed hrs like cuntflaps banger your pay situ sounds shit - and sorry you feeling the misery, but I did cry muchly in a PMT stylee just before I discovered the diffedness - so you aren't out till the droid beeps or summink...

I get 3 months full pay then the rest at SMP which I negotiated with my company. They are pretty useless to be honest and have no policy on maternity, they also failed to conform with anything they are supposed to with a pregnant employee. I was actually quite surprised at how little I spent on mat leave before although SMP doesn't help with the mortgage payments! I am trying to save loads at the moment so I can still take the full year off and I hope to send little cokie to nursery a for a couple of days a week (since he now loves it) and to allow some time just with the baybee.

I returned 4 days per week with Fridays off and Fridays are like Christmas day every week to me. I still do five days work for four days pay as the company did nothing to reduce my work load but happily reduced my pay by 20%. They more or less said I was lucky to have a job since the company is doing so crap at the moment.

Pandy you should go on strike since you are getting a ruff pay deal and don;t have the tools to ground job !

cos one of the reasons for labour not progressing is too much interference causing stress to the mother, causing labour to slow down.

You sound very defensive for some reason. Have I upset you??? You go for those internals if you want them... and the FM... if it makes you feel better and more relaxed then that's the best way to go.

But remember, your husband doesn't see the hundreds of thousands of babies born healthy with and without interventions, only those with problems - and there'll be a mix of intervened and none-intervened births there too.

And as I've mentioned before, internals are not an accurate representation of the progression of labour and there are many other ways to check progression. I have an article on it somewhere, I'll go and find it.

I'm sure your husband does know a hell of a lot about how labour should happen, but so does my mother, her being a midwife and all.

Not sure why you're sounding so defensive about this though...

progression in labour without internals

I reiterate, this is personal choice.

pandy that's quite a surprise actually. Very frustating - still not got the lappy going?

head I'm so sorry Hope to see you here soon.

ski you are officially harder than Ranulph Fiennes who chopped off his own fingers with a circular saw because the frost bite was too painful.

I have no idea what MP I'll get. Last time I just kept working of course, so no change. We haven't discussed it yet. I suppose I should bring it up but don't want them to say anything other than, "we'll just pay your full salary for 6 months".

We'll see.

Just cracking up at pandy's bras!

pandy I am so glad you posted that bra photo. When I saw sliver's comment about going up one bra size I thought 'Oh dear, shall I tell her?' so I'm glad you have made things a little, um, clearer for the first timers.

Buuut... I actually think I'm getting bigger faster second time around, even though I'm smaller overall. I was 34E before this pg. I'm already (at 28 wks) struggling to fit into my 40DD Hot Milk bra from last time, and have just sent back the new one I ordered to change it for a 42DD! I think there is a hydraulic press inside my ribcage, and the baby has accidentally stood on the 'expand' button. Please stop.

Maternity pay?

Hello all,

I'm just back from my scan! It was one of those fantastic internal ones, so great to have a student there to observe and boyfy to see me at my dignified best. Anyhoo!

It went really well. The doctor saw the sac almost immediately and there was a really obvious heartbeat, which I could see even in his first sweep around, where he found the sac then lost it again. Anyway, he showed us the embryo and said there was no visible cause of the spotting so not to worry about that. He did the CRL measurement and put me at 6w 2days. I think this must be slightly out, as it would mean I got a positive test pretty early, but on the other hand who knows! It was all pretty fast. Anyway, after that he then invited me to hop up on the scales - but I quickly ran into the cubicle to put back on my pants first.

He seemed happy with everything. We were delighted. And it turns out that it's scan city here! - I've another one in 4 weeks and another one three weeks after that (nuchal fold one). We think we'll tell family after the next one.

Honey sounds like you were a model of self-restraint! That bleeping sound is a nightmare! Not happy to hear about the worsening of MS (or Evening S in my case) - the doctor also asked me about it and said cheerfully "So you haven't started vomiting yet?". Cheers for that doc!

I haven't given much thought to maternity bras yet, but I guess I'll need to. I'm starting to look pretty impressive in my existing bras. I'm starting from a modest 34B though, so plenty of scope for expansion!

Love the bra pictures Pandora. Tee hee. There is a fantastic contrast between the frivolous pretty lacey one and the hardcore, heavy-duty mat. one! Hard to imagine what lies ahead!

Ski - My gynae is in the St Jean (at Rogier), which I think is a good place. In addition, I have found some independent midwives working in Brussels (Flemish of course) who do birth accompaniment and so on. They only work with two hospitals in Brussels and the St Jean is one of them. They can do waterbirths and all that there apparently. So that's cool. I'm seeing them in a couple of week's time. They actually do mainly homebirths, but I think that's not really a good option when you live in an apt with neighbours on all sides .

Great news on the dildocam scan wit

I didn't realise I was sounding defensive, I was just asking some questions. I didn't say I wanted internals, I was just asking what the alternatives for checking that labour wsa progressing were, as internals are all you hear about. I actually totally agree with you in terms of keeping intervention and stress for the mother down to the minimum - which is why I was asking what the alternatives are, as I really don't want a "managed" birth.

DH is well aware that all he sees are the really bad cases, and that the cast majority of people have no or very few problems, which is why he is trying to keep calm about the whole thing.

I'm not really sure what your mum has to do with my question either so right back at you