Due in Nov 2005 - Part V!!

[rodeo1]

Here we are ladies.....

Enthusia - you're sounding in good spirits my friend..glad you got on so well with the estate agent. Will be one less thing to worry about soon. Have you got your eye on anything in the new area yet?

Twinkle - If you don't mind me asking what do you do? I admire your being able to stay at work until October, I really don't think i could have managed another day. I'm always feeling 'heavy' particulary after i eat. It's a bit weird.

All of a sudden tonight am feeling v.scared at the prospect of becoming a mother! Am scared about getting bigger, birth, b/f and most of all (for someone who was very calm about it all) FINANCE! Just been working out with my friend today how much things cost and am hoping our families pitch in TBH. I think my whole life is going to change and have had a bit of a cry, sure it's all hormones and that i'll be fine but it's like it hit me all of a sudden...slap!
I will not be earning money...I will be depending on my DH and he is having to take on things i am now and hv been paying for...

Sorry to moan..feeling a bit anxious i guess. It will pass, first time to happen.

No news from firstbaby? do hope it's all okay.

Hi Twinkie!!

Don't seem to see much of you at the mo, how are you? Do you have an inkling of what you're having at all? Any names?? How are you feeling about having 3! We are getting used to it, although family life seems really easy at the mo, trust me to put a spanner in the works!! Awww, don't mean to call bubs a spanner

Ah Enthusia my grobag pillow gets so much use i hate having to wash the cover, as it puts it out of action for an hour. It even came to Spain with us, i couldn't rest without it. The belly bag may come in particularly useful though as DH has a masseuse that visits the house every sunday, and now i'll be able to lay on my front i might have to insist on the occasional massage too.

Rodeo - until about 16wks I told DH he was only having 1 child as i was so sick. However, now i'm feeling better we should be able to stick to our original plan of 2. The idea at the moment is to have a fairly small age gap, but that may change when baby comes.

Chacha - i found it really hard at first adjusting to relying on DH for everything, and still feel the need to justify purchases every now and again, but it does get easier. I still haven't let go of my solo bank account yet though, i'm going to get my maternity allowance paid into that, and once all thats gone i'll have to give the account up for good, as i'm not going back to work for a while.

Twinkle - i gave up work the day the blue line came up, not entirely by choice - i had just finished a contract and was too sick to take on another, and now i have no desire to find another short term one. My friends who have recently had babies don't want to go back to work, so i feel very fortunate to be in a position where i don't have to for a while.

Twinkle - I got signed off by the doctor at 20 weeks, my maternity leave does not start for months, but I doubt I will go back till babies are about six months.

ChaCha - keep saying I will do Yoga or something, but find I am just so tired I have no energy to do anything.

I don't think you ever 'bloom' with twin, you just go from sicky/tired in the first tri to even more tired/bloated in the second tri.

hello everyone, been away with my family in Wales for a while, wonderful time and got to put my feet up and let my dd's cousins look after her. She had the time of her life, with six older children to play with. Sometimes think she would prefer to live in a commune really.
Well I spoke to my friend yesterday, she has a two week old, her first baby and I am suddenly feeling rather apprehensive.... It all came back to me - the sleepless nights, the sore nipples, and tiredness, the lack of sleep, the broken nights.... well you get the picture. I look at the rather idyllic life I have at the moment and can't quite imagine what it is going to be like with another baby in the mix. My dh is out of the house working from 7am till 8-8.30, so I am pretty much on my own all day every day. He never used to get up at night much either - he never really woke up and I could never quite bring myself to wake him.
Sorry to sound so negative, I know dd will love to have a sibling. Doesn't help that I am suddenly HUGE and feeling a bit achy and clapped out...
HC (still no idea how many weeks - 26 ish??)

Harp - know exactly what you mean. Our DS is 10 soon and life has been pretty easy/nice for years. We usually have an au-pair (live in baby-sitter), so have been able to go out for dinner/theatre/cinema whenever we feel like it, and I've not had to do much in the way of housework either as AP keep on top of this too.

Have been able to work early/late/travel for work without much difficulty too.

DH was never much good at the baby stage either. But I'm determined to get him doing more this time around.

Realising that all this comfort is all going to change with the twins - back to being poor/fat/fed-up with bad skin/hair/dress sense very quickly.

The only saving grace is that I won't try and be superwoman this time around, feel i have a better sense of my own limitations and fully plan to get a day nanny for a day a week ASAP to give me a break.

Work will be slightly more difficult to manage, but I plan to do a compressed working week - 36 hours in three and a half days - eek!

Hiya

ChaCha - know what you mean!!! Since I have been off I have been reading loads of baby books etc, and have now given up on them all completely as they started to make me feel as if I would never be able to cope and that having a baby was not a lovely thing to do but more of a prison sentence that you must 'get through'. I started waking up at night worrying about how you breastfeed, when you express, how you express, I had real panicky moments about what cot to buy and whether I should follow the 'contented baby' routine and put baby in own room from start, I was worried about being on my own all day with baby, that I would feel ugly, bored etc, then I worried that I was not bonding enough with my bump and that I wouldn't bond with baby. It all just got too much about a week ago and after reading some other threads etc, I decided the best thing I could do was chill and try and enjoy the experience as much as possible. I think the more relaxed I am the more relaxed the baby will be, and I really do want to enjoy the experience and not beat myself over the head that I am doing it 'wrong'! Didn't want to mention it on here so much as I felt like a big wimp as all the people with children already, seem to do such a great job, and I am in a good position really and am just whinging, but I did feel really scared! Glad I am not alone. The daydreams of having a baby I used to have, have all but gone now and have been replaced by an 'Oh my God' feeling of what am I doing!!!! How do you get through the first few months and enjoy them and revel in the experience is it possible?????

Nova - A masseuse - wow, that is something I have missed from Thailand - massages, they were soooooo good and sooooo cheap, mind you I don't think a Thai massage would do me much good now to be honest a bit too energetic!!!!!

Harpsi - My DH also works long hours, thankfully a lot less now since he has changed jobs as he did not always get a day off each week, would work all weekends and not get in until 9-10pm, now he leaves between 6 and 7 and is in between 7 and 8, still a long time to be on your own!!! I am hoping, when we move, to get really involved in various groups etc, to get me out of the house meeting people and having a life!!!!

Rodeo - I too am having no problem with sleep, bump just lies whichever side I am on and we both fall asleep within minutes - is anyone else sticking 'ridgidlyish' to only laying on their left side like it says to do, I find this really difficult, but when I lie on my back or right side I sleep and don't wake up dizzy or anything?!?!?!

26+5

Having a blah! day today. It's the 2nd anniversary of my Dad's death and this would have been his first grandchild. He was always going on about how he wanted grandkids and he would have been a super grandpa. My uncle has agreed to be surrogate Grandpa as he's no kids of his own and was very close to my Dad/his brother.

Also work very stressful right now as its looking likely that I might have to sue for sexual discrimination as well as wrongful dismissal - last thing I need!!

On a happier note this baby doesn't seem to sleep!! It's kicking up a storm and constantly moving around - hope this isn't necessarily an indication of what I should expect when he/she comes into the world! It is great fun though watching my tummy move - my bump has become huge in the last week and you can tell where the baby is lying when it's on one side my bump is bigger/heavier on that side - weird stuff.

I'm sleeping fine, but running out of steam earlier and earlier these days. Still really enjoying pregnancy, but looking forward to putting this job to rest one way or another.

Anyway off to eat ... currently addicted to Percy Pigs from M&S.

Lil J
25ish weeks & 9 sheets of TP!

hi all,
chacha Im a sales leader for avon have my own round of 300 houses then a team of about 20people working for me (have to admit that dh is giving me a hand taking all the stuff out for my round).
Rodeo, know what u mean, we are getting used to the idea of three though i still have moments when i think i must be mad.The kids are very excited though dd is set on the idea of calling it bambi!!!!! she may well be dissapointed
We have been starting to make some preparations bought a mothercare trenton pushchair system in latte it is gorgeous!!! and im off for more retail thearpy on sat to buy new cot mattress,bath and few bits and bobs. Must send husband into loft to retreive all the boxses full of babygrows.Hopefully our garage conversion will be done by the time the baby arrives as this is going to be guest bedroom and guest bedroom is becoming babys room arghhhhhhhhhh there is so much to do.well must go and pick up dd she is at pink and fluffy afternoon at the local leisure center so i am expecting to be picking up a barbie look alike
twinkle
25

hello ladies, been a while I know, glad to see you're all well, I've just signed up to be an Avon lady was funny to be the first message I see.
Been having fun this end, went to France to pick up our new house keys and were hit by a truck, just a little hit but have been having scans and a gamma jab and allsorts done since, all ok though.
10 weeks left at work, dragging so much and I though it would fly. Sounds like we're all having fun, we have lots to do too converting lofts and decorating etc.
Take care everyone x x

oh I forgot sorry
25+5

sorry I'm on a roll now, had a pregnancy massage a few weeks ago and it was gorgoeus, the therapist was telling me about hynosis for childbirth and labour massage, said it also helps the baby after its born and was telling me all about baby massage for colic and things, sounds really interesting, anyone had any experience with this ???

LilJ - I love those Percy Pigs too - like the Percy Pigs and Friends packets best, they are bigger!

Sharon - sorry to hear about the accident - hope you and bubs are OK

Afternoon girls, had a good night out last night and as usual the girls had me in stitches I laughed so hard my bump went really tight a couple of times and I know it's far to early to be getting Braxton Hicks. I'm totally whacked out now though& have been all day!

Enthusia & Chacha never ever feel a wimp if you need to ask something about this pregnancy lark and about what happens when bump finally arrives. I know those of us who have kids already, sound like we know it all but that's the whole point of this thread it's to share ideas and tips and to reassure you that what you're feeling at the moment is completely normal.

I found it hard to rely on my dh for money when I gave up work and at first had no intention of being a SAHM, it was probably my idea of hell, but once Ben came along everything changed. During the pregnancy I was adamant bump would fit in with our life etc it's just not like that in the end though, this tiny little thing makes a painful appearance and then your heart melts and you know life's never gonna be the same again. I won't try to tell you it's easy and after 2+ years of postnatal depression I know what I'm talking about but it is all worthwhile.

It all seems scary at the moment because it feels like it is getting near, but I swear you first time mums are gonna be fine and if you find any of it difficult never play the hero just ask!!!

The only practical bit advice I can give you about those first few months is go with your gut instinct, listen to what people tell you but don't be ruled by it, you will find the right path for you and your baby. You have to treat it like anything new you undertake, you have to learn as you go along & there are absolutely no hard and fast rules to parenting & yes you will make mistakes!!! I can assure you we'll all be on here at 2am asking for advice at one time or another it's just how it is!!!

Rodeo, on the kids front, 2 is definitely my limit I have always wanted two kids and I'm planning on being sterilised after this one is born - if they take me in for a c-section I'm going to ask them to do it at the time. I know they say you should wait in case anything happens to the new child but you couldn't replace it with with another one as far as I'm concerned so for me this is definitely 100% it!

LilJ tell me get lost if I'm being nosy but what do you do & where do you work that is treating you so badly - I used to work in HR so things like this are always of interest to me.

Twinkle what's wrong with Bambi, it's a lovely name!!! Hope your dd enjoyed her pink & fluffy day.

Sorry super long post from me again but I couldn't bear to see the 1st timers getting themselves stressed out. Take care for now and I'll speak to you all later. Beks (26+3)

Beks - I work for a publishing firm which is usually very mum-friendly. My boss (male) was recently promoted to Managing Director and is on a bit of a power trip right now. Basically he's created a new position above mine which has the identical job description as mine except for two divisions instead of one. I've applied for the new position (on Monday) and have been completely ignored since I submitted my application. I cc:ed the head of HR and the new CEO on my application in hope that they might make him see sense.

When told about the new job by my boss I said I wanted to apply and he basically tried to put me off it me and stated that my role 'would not change' which as far as I can tell is impossible as the new job IS my job. Also they have done nothing about getting maternity cover for me and I think they're considering making the new person do my job while I'm away and then somehow they'll hand back all the responsibility when I return?? I think not!

I've been told by my counterpart in the other division (who is leaving and is not being replaced) that my boss is now scrambling to find anyone who could vaguely be considered more qualified than me for this new position. Fair enough if he does find someone better than me, but it's looking as if I may not even get an interview. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

Evening girls,

Children are busy scoffing spaghetti so I've snuck on! Had another lazy day today (oh well, it is the hols!) so not much to report, although I had a very proud parent moment earlier when dd was given the 'best attitude' award at her last day of soccer school today! We were unsure of sending her but she really wanted to go, and when she turned up on Monday she was only one of two girls! With about 30 boys! But she's really enjoyed it (even though she's really bad at football! ) Awwwww!!

Ooh what a git, LilJ! I think you definitely need to look into legal proceedings. Glad to hear pregnancy's going wll though, KWYM about the bumps although I can never tell what they are, I'm guessing the big one is the bum and a few of the proddy ones are feet but it's very confusing! Sorry to hear about your dad, must be doubly hard this year with you expecting, hope you get through the day ok

Enthusia, don't worry about being scared lovey! Don't tell anyone but I'm feeling petrified at the mo about number 3's arrival, it's going to be utter chaos!

Sharon, great news about the house in France, although shame about the accident! Glad you are well though. I used to massage ds when he was a newborn everynight after his bath which I found to be a nice relaxing time for the both of us. Did it on the bathroom floor on a fluffy towel so he was nice and warm. My mum's a qualified aromatherapist so she made me a oil mix of a base oil, I think it was Sweet Almond oil, with a few drops of Lavender and Roman Chamomile (the baby friendy ones). It smelt lovely, Joe used to smell like a little herbal teabag!! Not sure of precise measures but I will enquire for you if you like?

Harpy, glad to see you back after a lovely break! Whereabouts in Wales did you go? We're off to Tenby at the end of the month, we all love it there! BTW I think most of us getting a bit panicky about the babies arrivals, I'm getting mostly nervous about sore nipples!! Really bad with both dd and ds, I'm praying it won't be as bad this time!

Right, I'd better be off to get those children bathed

28 weeks today! x x x

Funnily enough I was just talking about baby massage today. I used to do it on my dd (now 2) when she was born, but haven't done it for ages. Well this week she keeps complaining of a tummy ache (being on holiday messed up her digestion a bit) and I have been giving her the massage again (esp rubbing the tummy and pushing her knees up to her chest) and she LOVES it. Sorry I didn't keep it up now, will def do it again with this one.
LilJ - sorry you're having such a grim time. Sounds like they are really messing you around and the fact that you will probably have a good legal case isn't really any comfort is it? And sorry about your dad. My dad died eight years ago and I miss him most when I am pregnant. We have really made an effort to spend time with "surrogate grandparents" - older people that I know, because I think it is really important to have that relationship. My mother is not in very good health and lives 2 hours away. My IL's are (unfortunately) not as interested in dd's life as I would like (don't even get me STARTED on that one) and are planning to move to France in a couple of years (they already have a house there) so I am really keen that dd and new bump don't miss out.
HC (9!!!! sheets - lordy I wish I hadn't done that...)

Rodeo - how proud you must be to have the girl with the best attitude! Isn't that that the best thing ever! Brought a tear to my eye, must be the hormones.
We stayed in Aberaeron, on the far West coast which is absolutely GORGEOUS - really unspoilt. Spent pretty much every day on Tresaith beach. DD looked so cute in her little shorty wet suit (but would NOT go in the sea - "too cold mummy!") and I looked quite ENORMOUS in mine. DD was most excited by the different coloured houses in Aberaeron and was convinced we were staying in Balamory (this may not mean much to first timers, but oh it will...). We love Tenby too, in fact all of the Pembrokeshire coast; we stayed in Amroth (nr Saundersfoot) last year in an NT cottage and had a lovely time.

Bath time now for us too. (How am I ever going to manage to get TWO in the bath and bed?? argh..)

Nova - Likewise with the grobag! I cannot sleep without it. I have Rodeo to thank for that link she posted all those months ago. It is a great innovation

Enthusia - glad you posted on the same subject. Guess we owe it to ourselves to stay as stress free as possible and relax best we can. I was going through the list again with my friend this afternoon and decided that rather than stress over which thermometer, monitor, linen, bath, etc..to buy I'd just keep my list as simple as possible and buy as i'm ready. I think there will be a lot of 'playing be ear' iyswim.
I had to LOL at your The daydreams of having a baby I used to have, have all but gone now and have been replaced by an 'Oh my God' feeling of what am I doing!!!! Exact feeling i had last night..sweet playing music and little bunny all wrapped up in cotton candy images suddenly turned into me surrounded by maternity pads, breast pads, pumps and creams in floods of tears! Oh..you've got to laugh...

Sharon - do hope that all is well.

Twinkle - sounds like a demanding job. Did they ever catch those thugs? I remembered as soon as I read your post. Sorry for not asking sooner..are you all better now?

Oh and Enthusia....i got to Lush today!!! The Lush weekend awaits....

Thanks for the reassurance - It just suddenly hits you that you are going to have so much responsibility, I am not someone who responsibility is usually a problem to, but this just seemed massive and I felt incapable for a while. I am feeling much more positive now, I think it was mainly the idea that if I did something 'wrong' it would be terrible! As I say I have now given up reading the books that started it and I am going to try and remain relaxed and enjoy each thing that comes. I do think you can be too well informed you know!!!!

LilJ - Sorry about the job, it does sound like constructive dismissal to me, but Beks would know more than me on this!

Must have been typing at same time ChaCha - only just seen your post!!!!

Glad you are feeling better, I too am trying to keep my buying simple now, and just buy things as I feel I need them! Glad you got to Lush, I had a lovely Butterball Bomb yesterday, DH came home and said they I smelt like a type of butter candy!!!!! (I hope not Werthers Originals, I'm not that old!!!!)

Just Chat

Hi Guys just an invite to a thread so we can all keep in touch I've invited Diddle, Hellkat and CP too xxx

Gosh, can't keep up with all these posts. It has taken me 1/2hr to read everything i missed since friday and have already forgot most of what I read. Must try to get on here more often.

Sharon - I did the same as Rodeo and use to massage ds every night. Also, went to baby massage class every week until ds was mobile and he use to love it. It was great socially too. My mom is also an aromatherapist and she made some blends for me to use for different things. I still give him a tummy massage when he is having tummy ache/constipation, etc.

Nova - Love the bellybag wonder if i can achieve dh it is worth it. Very much doubt it.

Chacha & Enthusia - Agree with everything Beks says. We have all be through it and you will look back one day and think how did i do it. Just remember that you don't have to be perfect and do ask for help and advice. Everyone will have different opinions on how to look after and raise a child, what is important is what works for YOU and make YOUR life easier. Please don't become obessessed with methods and routines. After all you don't see a 30 year older needing bottle, dummy, rocking, etc to go to sleep. Just remember one day these little babies will be teenagers that don't want anything to do with us because it isn't cool. So relax, enjoy, forget the schedules and different childrearing methods and take full advantage of all the cuddles. They grow up so quickly this time next year you will be give someone the same advice and help.

Right have gone on so much about that, that I have forgotten everything else.

Xena - good idea.

CADS
26+4

Hiya all

Having a bit of a fret again this morning!!!!!

My bump doesn't seem to have grown at all for about 4 weeks now! I had a time when I looked really PG, but now, with clothes on it is not so easy to tell. Bubs is still moving a lot, so I take it everything is fine, but I am a little worried. I didn't know whether it has anything to do with my fundal height as it feels really high, I mean I can feel movements from baby just below my breasts!!!!!! And all around this area is also tight. Could I be carrying longways (if you get what I mean) so baby is quite stretched out? My next MW appointment is next Tuesday, so will ask then, but wondered, in your opinion, whether there is anything to worry about!

Other than that, I am feeling great, off to Ikea with a friend today so really looking forward to that. This great weather really makes a difference to who you feel in the morning, def a bouncy tigger today!!!!!!

26+6

OOOPs - was athat a freudian slip? I meant to say 'how' you fell not 'who' you feel!