Due November 2009 - Remember, remember we're due in November, but not yet quite ready to pop!

[Fruitpastels]

Hope everyone can find us!

Hi all, I haven't posted for ages but I thought I'd pop in to say hi. I noticed your post Beckybendylegs and wondered if you've tried nipple shields? I've used them as soon as a nipple got a bit sore I'd start using it and then stop as soon as it healed that seemed to help get through the early days and after that feeding was fine. I also have a friend who used them the whole time she was breast feeding and it helped her to carry on for much longer than she would have done otherwise.

Barnowl I didn't know nipple shields exsisted when I had DS. I spotted them in Mothercare the other day and wasn't sure how well they worked and if they would confuse the baby. Anyone else used them?

Hi all, just been watching The Princess Bride with ds, lots of fun!

Tamlin like you, I fed my son once a day till he was just gone 2- lots of people didn't approve and I would never have imagined beforehand that I would go in for EBF but maybe I went on so long because I had struggled so much to feed him in the first place.
Finding all the going over the first days of ds's birth very cathartic, so here is my breastfeeding story!
In hospital, I felt there wasn't a lot of support for BF- I rang the bell each time I fed him just because I was so anxious to do it right- but every nurse or mw told me to do it slightly differently so I was majorly confused! When we got ds home his nappy had small red crystals in it (which I think are called ketones) because he was so dehydrated, but every time we called we got different advice on what to do- manually express, give water, use pump, blah blah. My mum was around and kept saying -'top him up with formula!' and it was making me really cross as I wanted to bf.
Meantime, ds was crying continually when not on the breast and none of us were getting more than an hour's sleep over the night.
On the fourth day, the midwife told us both to go back to hospital as ds had lost more than 10% of his bodyweight. He was totally dehydrated, poor lamb. We got admitted and I remember feeling like I had been put in prison for being a crap mother! Could only watch and sob while a nurse fed ds a bottle of formula, after which he went straight into a contented sleep, and at last, so could I.
A really really kind nurse came and checked me over and said it was no wonder I hadn't been able to feed ds as my milk was yet to come through, and he had been 9lb9oz at birth so was a very hungry, big boy. She was really cross that no one had sussed this in the previous four days.
Anyway, that night my milk came in and lo and behold, we were away. Still not easy and I went to the bf support group several times, but such a relief. I'm sure that's why I went on to feed him so long.
There is so much crap about feeding- bottom line is, the baby needs to be fed to survive and thrive. No one I spoke to in the first four days asked the obvious question- had my milk come in?
I didn't lose a single lb through breastfeeding! Only lost it when I started going to the gym and went on weightwatchers!!

Loved this blog post on the pressures to breastfeed:

teresastrasser.com/blog/2009/09/are-breast-feeding-classes-for-boobs/

So - suggestions for names for the next thread? I suppose it would violate Mumsnet policies to start a betting pool on who'll have the first baby in October?!

Maman I?d be stressed out too, sounds like a nightmare. At least they?re gone for now

Beepbeep you looked very pretty if that?s any comfort ? and your collection of carrier bags was very impressive!!!!

Kyte Christ that sounds horrible But somewhat comforting (sorry) that you had such a bad experience (sorry) but are doing okay now. Rather shocked though?

Becky ohhh glad to hear you got your pushchair and car seat, sounds lovely!!

Tamlin I asked my midwife outright about tearing at labour class, and she said its incredibly common, although most of them are very small, and only half need stitches. Still scared as I?m so small! And as long as its not me, I?m up for the pool

I really want to breastfeed but am going to try to just relax about it, and if it doesn?t happen, it doesn?t happen. I?ll try expressing. Would rather avoid formula, simply because I think it would be good for me to know that I?m supplying his food. Does that make sense?

When I got to ASDA today their sale had got even better ? the stair gates were £7.50 each I?m chuffed. Got those, two boxes of first size nappies, some buggy blankets, a rattle ? and of course, giant knickers

My mum is going to a ball at the end of November ? its black tie. She was going to wear a cocktail dress, but I found a lovely evening dress in the Friday-Ad that I?m secretly going to buy her tomorrow. It will have to be her Christmas present, but I showed her pictures as a suggestion for someone else, and she really likes it. So will surprise her with it tomorrow Am meeting her at work to go for coffee, so will pick it up before hand.

wook DD and I narrowly missed hospitalisation too and I second just how crap that makes you feel at a really rocky hormonal time. I don't think my milk was in properly for a while either. My breasts were firmer, but that was about it. No leaks for weeks. Still, we muddled through the tears and anguish, and as I said before I am so thankful that I never got sore nipples or I'm afraid I would have given up. For those who are really determined to make it work, be aware it can take weeks and that topping up with formula was foisted upon DD but didn't cause her nipple confusion or any of those other scary things. For those who would rather not go through the anguish, that's also a good decision as others have said on here that you'll be so much more relaxed and contented in the early weeks.

Whatever is right for you both

Hiya
Just been trying to catch up on the weekend's news!
I am also nervous of BFing and really don't want to feel pressured into it. Neither I nor DH were BFed, as my mum couldn't, and MIL found it incredibly painful. I think like you Becky I will give it ten days and see whether I can continue. It is such an emotive subject and everyone seems to have such different experiences. I would really like to try though, but we will see.
I am really annoyed. While I was off work at the end of last week, someone I work with texted lots of other people, saying 'oh my god, katster's in labour!!!!!'. Just found out, and I am so angry. I hadn't texted anyone, so god knows where she got it from, but I am really dreading going back in and seeing everyone.
Hope everyone has had a good weekend.

Hi ladies

Have managed to prise DD (15) off the home pc so I can catch up - laptop still out of action but hopefully this will be fixed soon!
erika thanks for offer from your DP, but it's new processors it needs so tomorrow morning will be spent trying to get that sorted.

I agree with not pressurising yourself to bf or anything else for that matter, going with the flow is a much better idea for a happy mum and baby.

Hi all thanks for the support dp still a bit miffed with me as I said a few things I shouldn't but as the washing macine seems to be broken that'll keep him busy till he forgives me!!

On the whole BF debate definately go with whats best for you. I found BF an absolute doddle... the bottle feeding when I went back to work was a total nightmare though! (6hours of commuting a day so ds would feed) Just goes to show that following the guidelines doesn't always work. This time round I'll be using both bf and bottles from an earlier age and not listening to anyones advice (well apart from mumsnet of course!)

maman why is he miffed with you? what do you need to be forgiven for? You tolerated his family!!!! When I was pg with DD my MIL came to visit for 5 weeks when i was 6 months pg. We said to her, how about do 2.5 weeks and then perhaps look at doing a B&B for 2.5 weeks 'yes dears' she said 'lets see how it goes' and then when she was here 'as soon as I start getting in the way, just let me me know dear' she said to me. Like I would be able to do that . But at least she kept the kitchen clean and did lots of cooking .

I am feeling so so much better. No more sickness (fingers crossed) since that horrendous episode with the blood. And, generally I feel tired pregnant again rather than sick, which is good. I have been awake since 5:30am and I am not even annoyed about it! I got up with DD at 6:45am after we sang nursery rhymes for an hour, then I cleaned the kitchen, put the dishwasher on and now having a decaff coffee before I get DD ready for nursery. I am determined to enjoy this time with her in the morning, and when she is not at nursery in the day. She spends so much time with me saying 'later mummy is tired, or poorly or whatever' but I am changing that from now on.

katster really try not to worry about bf. Firstly, you will be great at it. Secondly, if you are not enjoying it, if it does not work out for any reason, medical, your choice, whatever,just remember that the little baby in your arms is produced by your hard work and it does not matter one little jot. I expect most of us were raised on formula as it was not the 'done thing' to bf by our parents generation. There is so so so much to enjoy and its horrible that there is so much pressure for people to do something they might not want to/be able to. I am going to be very 'whatever' about it and have bought some Dr Brown's bottles in anticipation! (sale in boots, at least our local boots, reduced to 2 for £6!)

Oh and we need to think about titles for new thread - I am useless anyway, and I so loved this one, I certainly do not think I can beat it. Maybe we might need to take it with us again.....

I wonder if we will stop chatting so much when we have babies with us? (doubt it!)

Maman, I agree with the using bottles from an early age, even if with expressed milk. I know a few people who exclusively bf the when it was time to go back to work the baby point blank refused a bottle - they had a nightmare.

I'm not sure whether some of my problems were because my milk hadn't come in, but will be topping up this time with formula as both DD & DS lost a lot of weight in first week or so. DS lost over his 10% allowance and the trainee MW who had come round really panicked, which then panicked me, so ended up going up to hospital where experienced MW was like 'oh ffs, he was over 10lb, it's not like he's wasting away'!!!! That's one thing i'll insist on this time -no trainee MWs visiting without a qualified one, when you're knackered and stressd anyway last thing you need is someone inexperienced stressing you more. Also not to worry too much about my baby's weight - have been told I produce 'super placentas' (it has a medical term!) so have big babies for what they are actually meant to be, DS was born off the scale, but it now very happily following the 50th percentile.

Hi all,

Thought I'd better post before a new thread gets started!

Laptop was on the blink over the weekend and I've only just caught up! Dh has been in Las Vegas on a stag do but is coming home today, think he'll be a bit worse for wear though. I spoke to him last night and it was midday where he was and he was really drunk, I then started to panic that he wouldn't be allowed on his flight but presume he was.

Re the breastfeeding, I found it really difficult to begin with with ds and couldn't latch him on easily and got very sore. I just took it one day at a time and found that if I got too sore it helped to express for a day and bottle feed ds the expressed milk and then by the next day my nipples would be better. It all worked out in the end and I ended feeding him for far longer than I thought I would. I think the first 6 weeks are pretty tough but it does get easier and then I think bottle feeding is more of a faff because at least you don't have to sterilise and you always have milk on you etc. But you know, whatever works best for mum and if you can't bf then there is nothing wrong with bottle feeding. Women have been doing it for decades!

I had similar problems with weight. DS1 was 9lbs 13oz and when I gave up BF was told it was 'perhaps for the best' as he was constantly hungry and not putting on enough weight. DS2 lost too much weight too after a few days and there was a flurry of panic. Anyway, we'll see what happens. This one is surely going to be quite a biggie baby too!

Pavlov glad you are feeling a bit better.

Katster I have the same with my mum, MIL and even step mum: all of which claimed breast feeding was just too painful for them and didn't do it. My sister managed though.

But feeding is just one aspect of what we'll be doing come November! Not long now... in a way I can't believe how quick it has gone. Remember how we all used to moan about how sick and crappy we felt all the time? And it felt like it was going to go on for ever. Now we're nearly there

Becky - i'm still moaning about how sick and crappy i feel - morning sickness seems to have reared it's ugly head again - joy!!

Yeah, there's definitely been a turning point in this thread the last few days, thinking beyond the pregnancy to the babies and what we're actually going to do when they arrive. Is anyone else getting really scared by that??

Ooh I had a dream about pavlov last night. She is tall with short, light brown hair and is a bit of a reckless driver

katster I'm sure your colleague who started the labour rumour will be more embarrassed than you when you turn up this morning.

I had a great time at the sculpture day yesterday. We took a flask of soup and cheese toasties and had a picnic there; met some friends; made a Pterodactyl . It was one of those times when you think 'this is what being a family is all about'. It was made even better because as we were leaving we popped into a flower show that was just finishing. DH was ridiculously excited by the enormous veg and flowers (He is a big Alan Partridge fan, if anyone remembers the episode where Alan comperes at a country show). Then it turned out they were selling everything off as the show was over. We came home with the 3rd Prize leek, which is about a foot taller than DD; 2 ginormous carrots; a ridiculous cucumber; and some gorgeous dahlias.

Laugs - oh i am honoured to make it into your dreams! But, alas, it is not too close - i am short, have short dark brown hair! with blonde streaks! I would consider myself a good driver (don't we all) but I do drive on the outside lane and push in when I actually need to be in the other lane. I just shrug my shoulders and flash my eyes mouthing 'sorreeeee', hold my hand up, like a feeble woman and I have a tendency to drive too fast! (not so much these days in our brick of a car!)

For those who had weight loss with their babies - a couple of little stories - DD was born small, and struggled to put weight on even though she was eating well. I was told it was probably my milk, and was told I needed to bottle feed luckily dd refused a bottle, from the outset and carried on just under the charts. Which turned out to be bottle feeding charts so different than breastfeeding ones (don't know if they exist anymore, but ff babies are on the whole bigger than bf ones), she dropped the charts and I was made to feel like a bad mother - BUT then I saw a great MW who said 'pavlov look here, you are small, your DH is not a large man, it is inevitable you will have a small girl, she has found her natural size, which for her, is small. She will never be a huge heavy child, teenager or adult, get used to it!' and I stopped worrying (and stopped visiting the HV).

Other story - one of my bfriends has diabetes. She had a baby who was born on 50% centile (middle) at around 37 weeks. Since then, her baby has had a little reflux but eaten very very very well, she is bottle fed, at one year old now, but plummeted down the charts to just on the bottom centile. She was not concerned as baby is healthy, fit, active, meeting all her milestones. But the HV, who knows nothing about diabetes and the propensity to give birth to big babies, sent her to gp, who panicked, sent her to paediatrician, who actually listened to her and confirmed what she already knew. She had a baby that was born bigger than her natural size. This is normal for diabetics, but also happens to many many people. Now - her baby has moved to the natural weight she is meant to be, she is slight like her mother, and the weight loss shed was normal and natural.

I guess what I am saying is that sometimes babies are born big, then lose lots of weight and this is normal. Sometimes babies are born small and put on tons of weight, and this is normal. Sometimes HV do not know shit and bear it in mind when being pressured to do/think something you think might not be right for you/baby (not to say ignore something as there might be a problem, but often there is nothing at all wrong and instincts are as important as medical views).

This time I will be much more informed about what my baby is doing, in terms of eating, drinking, development and will have more confidence to challenge if I think the advice I am given is wrong.

Sorry for the rant, but, sometimes so much pressure and advice based on PCness not on fact is bandied about by MVs and HVs and it can cause unecessary stress at a time which is already naturally a bit stressful, when we need reassurances of our abilities as parents.

I think we need a new thread now...I'll create one!

kyte is there any chance it could be a can of drink in one of the side pockets shifting about? We had this for weeks before I realised it was a can of redbull DH had left in the door and it was sliding about.

But, seriously, DH said, might be the bearings?

Some interesting thoughts on breastfeeding. I'm also in the very nervous but would like to give it a go camp. I've been told that midwives can try to persuade women with diabetes to bottle feed (as babies can have lower blood sugar) so I have to be insistent on wanting to try and asking for help / advice. If I can't manage it for long I'll bottle feed though.

I had a lovely day yesterday. Me and DH went back to the pub, where we had our wedding reception, for Sunday lunch. It was a little strange as last time we were there it was full of our family and friends but very nice!

I packed my hospital bags yesterday. It's all starting to feel rather real now!

I'm thinking of starting to make a load of food to freeze for when baby's born but not sure what to make. Was thinking spag bol, lasagne, soups, maybe curry? Bit short of inspiration though.

New thread here