Due November 2009 - Remember, remember we're due in November, but not yet quite ready to pop!

[Fruitpastels]

Hope everyone can find us!

Thanks Becky

You're such a lovely bunch!!

I had a second degree tear with DD, which healed on it's own, then went on to have DS who was 2 lbs heavier without a scratch. But did have him in water which I've heard can help a lot in preventing tearing.

Erika - I understand what you're saying about having the energy to push, but this stage doesn't always last that long and you do have breaks inbetween each push. With my first it lasted about 10 minutes and with second it was 7 minutes. I know some can last a lot longer, but its not always the case. Definately discuss your concerns with your midwife. (have box here for you, will get to PO tomorrow hopefully).

Have started packing my bag - well have a pile of stuff in the bedroom anyway! My list seems huge, but for the past 2 my birthing bag has actually stayed closed until the babies were born & the camera and baby clothes came out, but just been fortunate that both births were quick.

Broodzilla - was it you saying about the big pants? - I dreamt about big pants last night!! am sure it's your fault & I can't even remember the context of them in the dream

wook thats a great post. And so true. When you are in labour you will spend a lot of time focussing on baby arriving, then when baby is here, the rest will just happen. I cannot even remember if I tore/had episiotomy. I am sure I did as I remember some 'action' going on down below, but as wook said, could not care less as I was busy feeding DD!

Also ref epidural...I did not have one, and then needed one straight after (well, couple of hours) and was gutted as I then wished I had one during birth .

I am worrying a

oh weird it posted on its own

I was going to say I am a little worried about breastfeeding this time. I have lost so much weight, (as in me, rather than baby), with the amount of sickness this pregnancy, and my boobs appear to have shrunk a little. They are not volumptious and sore and ready to produce milk and I think I might not be able to do it this time. I just cannot increase my food intake any more than I am as I have to eat little and often (not always often either) if I am to keep it down. DH said I will just need to eat for England when baby arrives, but i fear the damage may be done but if this is the case, thats just how it goes and I will feed baby with a bottle. I agree there is so much pressure to be this way or that way and it detracts from the fact that we have made babies, regardless of how baby comes out and what method we chose to feed them, we made them and we will be raising them and that is amazing. I recall a friend who gave birth a year ago, could not bf due to being so ill after the birth with strep b, and so was baby, but she was releived as she never really wanted to do it, but felt the pressure. Has no impact on her being a great mother and she has learnt a lot, mainly that bottle feeding is best for her and next time she will not even attempt to bf as its not for her.

Good morning.
Birthball arrived yesterday. Love it. Not that I get much of a look in. Ds is all over it (12 yr old boys for you!) and even dp has had a go, oh and fil and gran in law (gil?).
Will have it to myself today though as dp and ds are on there way to Brum NEC for the day. I am at home working/cleaning/ball bouncing/reading sunday papers/mumsnetting/joining some friends for sunday roast/filling in MA etc etc

Spent the day at a Cider fair in Taunton yesterday. Very lovely it was too but needed to be in bed by 8.30pm after that.

Hope everyone is well.

Pav Try not to worry about the breastfeeding, just see how you go when baby arrives. Maybe have a chat about your concerns with the midwife or a breastfeeding coach before baby arrives. I am going to contact the NCT breast feeding advisor to talk about my failed attempt with DS and to try and get some support before baby arrives. I felt a lot of pressure as a first time mum to breast feed, I did enjoy the few days I managed it but it just got too sore and my nipples were bleeding, milk engorged and I didn't have any support. My DS was bottle fed and he is growing up strong, lively, bright and healthy. At the time I knew that the choice I made was right for me and I got over the breastfeeding hang-up very quickly.

I have had two very early mornings with DS. He is under the weather but no usual signs. A little hot and thirsty and off his food. Dosing him up with paracetamol which is doing the trick. He has gone out with DH for the morning and I'm hoping some fresh air will do DS some good. He might even have a nap this afternoon, oh how I miss those afternoon naps!!

Had another spectacular crash out on the sofa last night. Haven't had time to catch up yet, but will do.

Need some urgent inspiration for my food shopping list this morning. We've avoided the supermarket for a whole unintentional week and lived off freezer leftovers and I'm in serious need of some new and nutritious ideas for this week! Any ideas would be most welcome.

I think this sodding baby has turned somersaults last night. It's really uncomfortable and has set off the heartburn. grump.

Beepbeep you may have dreamt of knickers, but I dreamt of you!!! It was just a crazy dream... You lived in a flat just down from DP's and collected Somerfield carrier bags on your balcony. We went and had a drink at the "pub" which is actually a doctors surgery whilst DP and his "mates" (actually a bunch of my male friends he's never met...) had a lads night in - without a wall on the front room. Very odd. Had to share

I really must get a birthball, they sound so fantastically comfortable...

Morning all

Gosh, so much to catch up on - have only skim read the last few pages sorry.
My laptop has died the processors have given up the ghost .... maybe too much mn has overheated them?!
Anyway, sods law as that bit of work I was wanting to get is just in the last stages of getting finalised and it's all on the hard drive of my now dead laptop.
Will be spending tomorrow working out how I can get the info off, quickly. Local shop is saying 10 days! Did he not see the fact my bump entered the shop before me??!!
Anyway, my computer problems will send you all to sleep so I'll save the next rant for tomorrow!

It was my lie in this morning and i ended up dreaming that DH was leaving us all for another woman/family. Very vivid so a bit distressing really.
SPD has stepped up a notch and I'm now starting to realise how soon this baby will arrive and how much I have left to do!
DS only has one more full week at nursery before we drop to 2.5 days so I suspect I'll be list queen tomorrow working out what needs doing and when!

I tore with DS (almost a 3rd degree tear) and I didn't feel it happening so don't worry. If it happens, it happens and you get a local for the stitching. Tbh, things like that are the last thing on your mind when you're actually in labour!

My best tip - get a jug (or if your shower head reaches even better) next to the toilet. Before you pee make sure you fill it with water/turn it on then pour as you actually pee. Urine against grazes/tears is like rubbing salt into wounds and the water dilutes it enough to make it ok.
If you use a jug, get a nice big 2 ltr one

Woo hoo! I slept in until 10.30. That never happens any more. DH even said he came into the bedroom to get dressed and I didn't stir. Normally I'm wide awake if someone so much as coughs in the next room.

He and DD have gone out to town, so I'm pottering about. Your cider festival sounds good ninja. We are going to a family sculpture day in our local park this afternoon. Basically everyone brings their hammers, the council (or someone) brings a load of scrap wood and a zillion nails, and we have to make sculptures out of them. It's brilliant. They have live music and a lovely 'happy family' atmosphere.

pavlov The size of your boobs bears no relation to your ability to BF. I do know what you mean though. Last time I could feel mine preparing themselves, becoming big and full and ready to feed a baby. This time they haven't. They got a bit bigger early on, but now seem just the same as ever. In fact, next to my ever-expanding bump, I feel like they're getting smaller. I think (hope) it's just a second-time round thing: that the space has been made previously and they will just fill up when needed.

Erika you'll be fine. Your body will take over and do what it has to do! And if you get too exhausted you'll have people to help you, the midwives, etc. They'll know about your circumstances and will be thinking of your welfare and that of your baby too.

The jug thing is great advice. It helps hugely when weeing after birth, esp with a tear of any sort.

I'm really going to give the breast feeding a go again this time. I really hope it works too. There is some really good support around here. DH thinks I shouoldn't even try as I found it so hard the last two times and we're talking lots and lots of tears over it and I'm trying not to feel upset about his lack of commitment but I'm determined to try. If at first you don't succeed and all that, try, try again, that's my moto.

Laugs what a lovely lie in!

We're going pushchair and cat seat shopping today finally. Better go - there's a dark chocolate kitkat in the fridge with my name on it.

becky I don't think your DH sounds uncommitted to BF, it's more like he is committed to you and doesn't want you to be upset. I think it's quite hard for men when they see us struggling but they can't really help that much. At least it's better than him saying 'you must breastfeed my child!' .

Becky I agree with laugs Your DH is trying to protect you from feeling upset and stressed out about it. My DH is going with my decision to give bf another go, but he wouldn't have minded either way what I choose. He just wants me to be happy and have a content baby. At least we know we're not the only women who struggle with it and we can get the support early this time to give us a good start

tamlin I meant to tell you about the pelvic floor relaxing exercises.

First we did some normal pelvic floor exercises to become aware of the PF. Then were told to relax those muscles as much as possible. This is easier to do if you release tension elsewhere (ie. slacken jaw, lips slightly apart, shoulders relaxed). We did this while standing, feet apart, rotating hips; on all fours; and standing, feet apart, upper body leaning forward, which are all positions that allow the maximum amount of space in the pelvis. Apparently it helps to think relaxing thoughts too eg imagine a flower blossoming while trying to make your pelvic floor as soft and relaxed as possible.

I'm taking a kay sara attitude to this whole birth/baby/breast feed thing. I'm quite neurotic by nature so it's not easy but have decided that the only thing I can do is to prepare myself but then go with the flow. A bottle fed baby with a relaxed mummy has to be better than the one who was crying through every feed because I was dreading the next (as happened last time) so will try but just not setting my self any hoops.

At the moment I'm trying to relax and not see the whole thing as a battle ground. No winners, no losers, no competition just informed decisions for the good of me and my family.... Ommmm..... and if that fails? Well "this too shall pass"

PS Laugs sounds like you have a lovely afternoon planned. Hope it's at hot up North as it is here

I'll try trust you all about tearing! Suddenly all feels very real and very close...

Becky I agree, sounds like your DH is just trying to stop you from being upset. Very sweet in a way

Scarlotti what set-up is? DP might be able to help - as long as its not Vista, he doesn't understand that one!!

Laugs enjoy your day

Last day of the giant baby stuff Asda sale, I'm off to buy some boxes of nappies and stair gates while they're cheap!!!

Hope no one minds me coming on to rant but I really need to let off steam. Why are some PIL so horrible. Mine used to be OK - well except my FIL who could always wind me up but this weekend was a total nightmare. I thought they were coming to visit to help out as I'm still on total bed rest for 3weeks but apparently not. I mean they barely paid any attention to ds (apart from "he's too noisy, too active, too head strong) YES HES A 3 YEAR OLD!!!

They all have special diets (even dp) so meals are quite tricky but for 3 days running everyone forgot about me. I mean literaly we'ed all sit down at the table to eat and MIL would say " oh and what are you having??" yesterday I gave up and just had a piece of bread. I know i'm making mountains out of molehills (according to dp) but still... yesterday I ran aroubd so much tha my bump was solid as a rock all day. Not good

Ouf feel a bit better now. Sorry for the me me me post. Actually feel like getting organised for the birth now (meals cooked etc) as there is no way I'm letting dp invite his parents to help out after the birth

Erika - I'm scared!!!

Maman - sounds like they're being pretty selfish, rant away!

Becky - I have bf my 2 for 3 weeks each, but both times found it incredibly stressful and not been too successful. Have decided that this time (unless somehow it works this time!) I will feed baby myself for first 10 days (poss with topups) in order for bbay to ge best bit and then it's onto a bottle. Told DH this and he said he was relieved I'd made this decision, tho obviously if i'd wanted to try again he'd have supported me. I certainly feel that i have enjoyed my babies more when not stressing about the bf, which for one reason or another (DS -silent reflux) just hasn't worked for us. I fee happier that i have set myself a time limit. Would this be an option for you?

Laugs - jealous of your lie in!

maman2tom, good GRIEF. Can you just lie down pointedly on the couch and let them get their own food?!

I'm still breastfeeding DS once a day. I meant to stop by his second birthday which is next weekend, but - guilty confession - he only naps if he's nursed, and I just can't face going all day without lying down for a lovely hour and a half, pillows between my knees. The SPD is just a nightmare by night if I haven't spent SOME time horizontal. Oh well, at least I'm not worried about my supply drying up... It's hard to find any research on tandem nursing which doesn't sound as if it was written by mad hippies, though ("My elder nursling said 'Mummy, your num-nums taste of apple juice!'" Christ.)

Oh and Laugs, cheers! Will try to think of blossoming flowers at the moment of crowning, although I suspect less lovely images may be coming to mind!

Beepbeep that sounds like a good idea. I might do that too: give myself ten days and if I want to carry on after that then all the good but if not, then I'll be very proud of myself for giving a go. I managed a month with DS1 and 10 days with DS2. I did get myself into a real state both times about giving up. I loved breast feeding but the pain was incredible, especially with DS2. Like I said before the midwives at Chipping Norton were quite shocked at how cracked and blistered my nipples were with DS2 after 10 days when I made the decision to give up. Perhaps it was technique, or lack of it, I don't know. But I think I will give myself 10 days Beepbeep. They both have turned out fine being mostly bottle fed. Parenting is such a difficult business and it really doesn't help being made to feel guilty by all those posters about how wonderful bresat feeding is, etc. I got really cross once when I saw a poster that said 'breast feed your baby and you'll loose your baby weight more quickly'. That is desperate!

We've just had a family trip to Mothercare and bought a pushchair and cat seat. Don't ask me what brand it is. It is cream and has a silver frame and big wheels at the back. That's all I know! I just chose the one I liked the best! It's coming next week.

Kyte, good lord. That is appalling, you poor thing.

Although I'm afraid my consultant said that only about half of primagravidas escape with an intact perineum, tears are a lot more common than they tell you in birthing classes. Ways to avoid 'em, apparently - water births, and if you have an epidural, do EXACTLY what your midwife tells you by way of panting at the right minute!

BBL, that poster is telling porky pies - I know so many breastfeeding mothers where the weight didn't fall off until they were DONE with breastfeeding. In my case, I stayed ravenous as long as I was EBF and inhaled the extra calories which DS burnt off me - I only started to lose once he was mostly on solids.

I second that about doing what the MW tells you to do. I pushed too hard and fast with DS1 and as a consequence tore badly (was rather desperate to get him out!). Slow and steady is the way to go during the last bit!