Due November 2009 - Remember, remember we're due in November, but not yet quite ready to pop!

[Fruitpastels]

Hope everyone can find us!

wow we will need a new thread again soon!!

Morning!

lissyglitter My bump seems to have dropped and I've been feeling really odd too. I keep having periods of being so tired and needing to sleep straight away. Been feeling a bit sick too. Have got myself organised and ordered moses basket just in case!

my bump has dropped too. dh noticed yesterday. he is worried by me wanting to freeze him up meals already.

My mums considered opinion of why I am getting bump pains is that the baby has been kicking me in the same place too much so I have a bruise...is this even possible?

Anyway, I think I've pretty much made my mind up to go for an elective section. I was pretty into the idea of a VBAC, but I've done more research and it would seem that in my case, it would just be too risky. I have a weird cut on my womb, I didn't leave long enough between babies and I had a terrible time last time (very rare, so don't worry all you first timers!) and I really need to avoid stress and trauma this time in an effort to keep PND at bay. Just the fact that I would have a nearly 1 in 10 chance of a bad uterine rupture is enough to make me too posh to push!

I know for most people a vaginal birth is best, and I read an article in the Guardian about natural births on a hippy commune in America which sounded lovely, but in my case I think it has to be a section. I'm a bit sad that this means I am unlikely to ever experience a vaginal birth, but I will have still carried my baby in my womb and will hopefully breastfeed her so I think I will have given her the best start.

DD was quite impressed that she didn't come out of my front bottom like most babies, but the doctors cut her a special hole in my tummy, because she had got stuck. She is also quite entertained by the idea of her being yellow when she was a tiny baby. Well, a lot more entertained than I was at the time! She also seems pretty ok with the idea that babies drink milk from boobies, and they have hardly any hair and no teeth, and can't talk. She is a bit confused by them not being able to walk though, she keeps asking me if they take the bus instead. Bless her.

BH seem to have calmed down now, but I am trying to take it really easy today just in case. DP has gone off to a job fair in Sunderland, with strict orders to keep his phone on at all times! Bless him, he has announced he is not drinking until the baby arrives, to make sure he isn't drunk or hungover if I go into labour.

My mum has said she will buy me a new tea set as a housewarming present, and for me to choose one off somewhere like the Tesco website that she can get delivered to me. My problem is, what does she mean by tea set? Does she just mean teapot and cups, or does she mean plates, bowls and so on? And how much should I ask her to spend? She's not overly well off, but does seem keen to get me something nice for my house. She has just paid off a debt for me of nearly £300 as well, even though I told her I could probably arrange it so I only had to pay a little bit each month. She insisted though, saying she didn't want me to have to organise all that when I should be resting.

DD is meant to be having a nap, yet I keep hearing rustling from her room...should I go in, or just leave her to it and hope she settles herself down?

I can't believe another thread is nearly full!

I'm a biking widow this weekend, DH claims that it'll be the last weekend until the baby is born, but it's strange how every week is the last one, because the week before he was tired and not enjoying it/too wet/too dry... erm... Whatever you say dear?

We had a great night last night. Drove over and parked in a layby just outside the concert ground, but must've been positioned on a funny angle in relation to the PA system as we had a constant echo... and it was a busy road with cars passing non-stop. DH wanted to give up, but I persuaded him to drive around the back, where we found a country lane and parked up at a farm entrance where we could hear everything perfectly, so we wound the windows down and opened the sunroof and guess what? Gorgeous starry sky! Strange way to "go to a concert" but I couldn't have faced the crowds. Will go out and buy the CD next week though to ease my conscience for eavesdropping.

Erika So glad to hear you're feeling a bit better and managing to eat at least. Fingers crossed the company will back off now! Sorry to hear about your DP though.

Thought I'd share a bargain-hunter tip for anyone still in the process of filling their hospital bag (or come to think of it, everyone with dropping bumps!) Tesco have mahoosive knickers (I think they're called full-size or something equally sexy) you can either buy value ones (plain white), which are 3 for £1 or the pimped up version which come in different colours but are 4 for £2.50... I got one size bigger than my normal size in the pimped up version and two sizes up in the value version (it's slightly tighter) and you know what? They're SO comfy and go a fair bit over the bump (so I'd imagine they'd be perfect for after a CS?) at the value price they're actually pretty much the same price as the disposable nasty paper knicers, but at 100% cotton far nicer, even though they're not glam nor sexy.

I've just realized I've written an entire paragraph on Tesco knickers. Did someone say something about getting a life?

Oh, and I've found something else to obsess/worry about. After reading about the ipod in pants (there I go again, knickers...) I thought it might be nice to play the baby something he could remember once he's out, so I put the musicbox from a cotmobile we were given on the bump. No reaction. Didn't think too much of it, but then I remembered all this business about reacting to noises... so have spent this morning experimenting with loud noises like DH shouting boo, clapping hands, egg timer and in desperation the gas-alarm (it's very shrill!) but there's no reaction at all. Erm, could you lot please conduct an un-scientific experiment and see if your bump moves to a sudden noise? Do you think I need to be worried? He's such an active baby otherwise, I just think it's strange that he won't flinch at the noises. (He's been busy kicking and squirming otherwise today, so I'm not worried about lack of movement as much as lack of reaction IYSWIM.)

I'll be bouncing on my ball if anyone needs me.

Ohhh, I'm craving gumbo now. We used to make it a lot on lazy Sunday afternoons (found that making it properly, roux included, took several hours!) and then freeze loads for later - and it always tasted better defrosted. DH is American, and once had a girlfriend from Louisiana whose momma taught him how to make it.

Lissy, it sounds as if you've made a difficult choice, good for you. I think in your shoes, with your specific risk factors, I'd opt the same way. If it makes you feel any better, the women I've known who had elective sections raved about them - much more peaceable than the emergency sort, and you can plan everything properly.

I am finding the Braxton-Hicks really exhausting this time around - they honestly do feel like prodromal labour, right down to the achy grinding feeling in my lower abdomen. Six more weeks of this. Hooray. I wish I thought they were actually DOING something, stupid irritable uterus...

I think knowing I will be having a section makes the BH even more annoying! Same with the baby being low down...all good signs for a vaginal birth, a bit useless for me!

fruitpastels have you tried pointing a powershower at the top of your bump or a really powerful torch! Anything's worth a try...

Good for you lissy, I bet you feel so much more at peace having made that decision. I'm tempted to do the same just so I know what's happening and to avoid another emcs, but I know how much I hated the recovery from it (and it got me quite down for a while) and with a toddler I feel I should give a VBAC my best shot. We'll have to watch this space.

We've just taken DD to see 'we're going on a bear hunt' at the theatre, and I THINK she enjoyed it. I suspect she was a bit thrown that it was different from her book, but there was good music and bits to laugh at. She didn't seem to participate as much as the older kids - I think she was just too absorbed in what was going on.

Another glorious day up here. Shame I need to stay in and gut the house... DH is konked out on the sofa after playing golf all morning. I WANT TO HOOVER! Maybe I will...

Virtual hugs much appreciated

Trikken I must admit, initially that was really worrying me too? Since I?ve been watching all these birth programs though, even the most dignified of women end up shouting and at least semi naked! Made me feel a bit better. I figure my lady parts will be on display for the world to see anyway, and I much prefer my boobs

Becky aww!! What film did the go and see?

Lissy there was someone at ante natal who had a bruise for the same reason. I think she said that the baby had been kicking against the placenta and that?s what had caused it. I can?t remember exactly I heard something lovely on a birthing program the other day. A nurse said, ?I consider any birth where a baby has arrived as ?natural?, regardless of how the baby arrives?. Thought that might make you feel a bit better And your DD sounds adorable!

Broodzilla that sounds so lovely, what a fantastic way to hear the music!! Mine doesn?t respond to sudden sounds either ? my mum just shouted ?PUMPKIN!? at my belly ? but tends to if I play him music for more than a few seconds, as long as its got a strong beat to it. He seems to be a fan of Meatloaf

I got my letter through from the health visitor today ? they?ve changed my name to Ellie-Maye, which is helpful? - and Mum peered over my shoulder, then we both looked at each other and were like, ?CRAP, home stretch!!!? hehe.

I can?t believe how much we talk

My DD betrayed me from inside my womb when I was pregnant with her- we went to a friends gig, and they played a song they had written about DPs ex, and she started kicking!

I was a bit gutted when I realised who the song was about, it used to be one of my favourite songs, and I didn't put two and two together about it being about a woman with the same name as DPs ex, until he told me it had been an engagement present from the band.

They have stopped playing it now, the last time we saw them play it, we had arrived late at the gig, and they only noticed us halfway through the song, and apologised afterwards!

my belly button has just popped out!!!! Didn't happen last time so I am quite amazed!

I went back on my pink hatred yesterday and bought a pink patterned knitted romper from H & M. And a pair of sweet grey tights with owls on them.

Boo all! I've just been listening to Brotherhood of Man singing Angelo on my laptop and childhood memories explosion! Does that show my age? I was about the same age as DS1 when this was in the charts and I remember singing it on holiday with my mum!

Starting to worry about prospect of a short labour and being caught off guard. If each labour is half the time of the last this one will be 1 hour. Yikes. I'm also scared that it'll be totally different and 48 hours or something. I really do not have the stamina for that! I'm a get it over with quickly kind of person!

My belly button has been out for ages and it pokes out however many layers of clothing I have on. People keep commenting on it. It looks like a little mound.

My belly button is just more shallow. I still have my belly bar in, no problems so far...

See I could do with a one hour labour... I'm really frightened that because of my ME I'll get so tired that I won't be able to push and will have to have an assisted, or emergancy CS. Am contemplating getting an epidural for during the early stages to get some rest so that I have the energy to at least try. Does that sounds practical? Or the ravings of a mad woman? Can never be sure with me!!!

Evening all. Have been quite busy today to prepare our move in two weeks, just thought it's better to start early and do things slowly.
Tomorrow my husband will take part at the Windsor half marathon, it will be his first one and I really wanted to support him. But I guess it will be too much as I would even have to go there by train and I suppose the trains from and to London will be really crowded. And then, I wouldn't really have a chance to sit down. And lately everything seems to get difficult after 45 min, then I just need a change. It doesn't matter if it's sitting, lying or walking. Standing is worse. Without moving I can only manage for 45sec.

Erika, thank you SO, SO, SO much. I found the most bass-y and drumm-y tune I could think of on youtube (not my usual choice of music), turned the volume up as high as it would go and placed the earphones on my sleeping bump. He was awake within about 10-15 seconds and now he's got the hiccups.

Not that I'm qualified to comment, but would say that as with everything else, I'd think that it's best to make any decision based on the individual circumstances... and to follow your heart. Like in Lissy's case, it sounds like it's absolutely the right choice for her, given the circumstances.
You know your body best, and I don't think you should feel pressured into a certain way of birthing by anyone. From what I've read, it seems that while "natural" birthing may be best in most cases, if labour is prolonged and the mother exhausted, or labour is too painful and the mother's body goes into a shock-like state, then an epidural is better as it doesn't stress either mother or baby as much as the alternative. Either way, all that really matters is that at the end of it all, you and the baby are both happy and the baby is out! (Wasn't Scarlotti saying something along these lines about breastfeeding the other day too, that women get almost bullied into thinking they need to do X and Y when really, for them, Z might be the right thing?) Birthing a child is not a competition and nobody gets a gold star for performance at the end. ;)

My bellybutton's been out for weeks and looks strange. The "inner" hole of my piercing looks rather angry (I haven't had a ring in it for years and thought it had closed up, but seems like it hadn't...).

DH is firing up the bbq, we'll have one more "last bbq of the summer" tonight as it's such a lovely evening.

Usi You can support him from a distance though. I hope you are planning for a lazy evening to make up for your hectic day!!

Broodzilla Glad to hear I could be of some use!!! Its all nice suggesting you play Bach and Bramhs and whoever else you want to your belly to help with their IQ, but I reckon its pretty obviously they don't enjoy it half as much

But I want a gold star!!! I know... I guess I just don't know what the best options would be. Plus am so terrified of tearing that I was considering an elective last week

Enjoy your BBQ

DS1 has just said to me, totally out of the blue, that you have to be careful when you go to the loo in London in case you find a rat in the toilet. Apparently his head teacher told him this the other day. Come on then you Londoners - is this true???

BBL, thanks for reminding me that (hopefully) old wives tale! I had already forgotten about it. I'll be thinking of you on my nightly loo trips in the dark . Especially as our loo light doesn't work anymore. I used to be happy with the dimmed light from the streets but I guess, I'll need a torch tonight just to make sure there are no rats. Well I guess, that's an advantage of living on the fourth floor. Surely they don't come up onto this level, do they?

And just to add another story (which I never could completely ignore): Spiders come at night and lay their eggs under your skin which then breaks after a certain time and all those lovely spider babies come out of your body...

ursi I went to watch my DH do a half marathon last weekend. It took the train an hour to do a 20 minute journey, then it took me another hour to walk (through the crowds, with DD) the 2 miles to the finish line. Afterwards, we waited in a queue for an hour just to get on the train home. It was nice to be there, but definitely a full day out.

erika don't know much about epidurals, but that sounds sensible to me. I think they try to let it wear off a bit before the end so that you can feel to push. Am I right in thinking you have to have reached a certain stage before you can have one though? The other thing I'd want to check would be if the lack of feeling could potentially make your SPD worse (ie. allow you to push yourself too far). Or does SPD just go away after pregnancy anyway?

I've had a lovely, selfish day. Met a friend for lunch, went to yoga (which has fast become the highlight of my week), came home and DH had taken DD out, so I went to bed and listened to the natal hypnotherapy cd and snoozed. Then we went for a walk in the park as the sun was setting and now we've just had fish and chips. Yum . I feel a bit bad for spending so much time by myself, but not as bad as I feel good!

broodzilla your gig sounds fab! And nevermind the post-caesarian tummy, I need some of those giant pants now!

lissyglitter I'm not sure what your mum would mean by tea set. Maybe you could send her a link with a few different sizes of set on and let her decide.

wizzywoo and lissyglitter shall we meet up soon before we're all too exhausted? My email address is laurafraine at hotmail.com if you want to sort something out. Maybe we could take the kids to the play area in the Laing Gallery, then go for a coffee there?

Erika I am totally with Broodzilla: no two labours are the same, there's no right or wrong way to do it and all that matters is that baby and mother are safe and well at the end.
I think it might reassure you if I give some details of my ds's birth- but if you don't think it will then don't read
Tearing You mentioned being scared of tearing- well, it's not ideal to tear but from what I remember, (2nd, nearly 3rd degree) I sort of knew it had happened but didn't feel it as obviously it happens at the moment the baby is born, so you have far happier things on your mind at that moment! The thought is much worse than the reality. I remember being stitched up but only because the doctor told me to stop sniffing on the gas and air, as I really didn't need it any more - I really did love the gas and air and did chug away at it a bit! While I was being stitched, I didn't feel a thing and I had ds in my arms, he was suckling away and I didn't give a monkeys about anything else in the world.
(Then about a week later I went off into town squeezed into a pair of non maternity jeans and by the time I had got back I had managed to lose half the stitches. Now, that was a bit more problematic, as you can imagine, but still, it all healed and all is well down below now - until sometime around Oct 31st )
It makes me very when people seem to view births in a hierarchical kind of way- because that can create a lot of anxiety and unhappiness. For example, I remember vividly being sat in a bath up at the hospital sometime round my second night of my endless labour and just being in absolute despair as my labour was just not working the way I thought it was 'supposed' to and I remember saying 'my body doesn't work and I can't give birth to my baby!!!' The nurse was brilliant and said- 'it is NOT a competition, there is no right or wrong, you WILL be able to do this'.
Epidurals Because my labour was so long and I was so tired (something I know you are worried about with the ME) I had an epidural in the last afternoon, which I resisted and resisted and made a real fuss about- but as soon as it was in, I fell asleep for the first time in four days.
I am still a bit about the way my NCT teacher scaremongered about epidurals: she passed the bits and pieces round and of course they don't look very nice so it struck fear into me, not to mention the fact that she listed all the drawbacks and none of the advantages. Rest assured, if or when you do have one, you will not probably not even see the thing, and barely feel it, except a cold feeling at first.
When I woke up a few hours later, I was so refreshed. They turned it down completely so that when it was time to push I could feel what I was doing.
When ds came out, I had not had the birth I wanted or dreamed of and I had not been a brave hero all the way through, and it hadn't been like anything I had read or heard about, or seen before. But the minute I saw him I knew that I had won a gold star!

What will be will be and you will have to go with it. My sister panicked and worried before having a very straightforward 'textbook' birth; I bought a homeopathy kit and read about natural childbirth and ended up having the opposite!

You'll be briliant

Laugs I hadn't thought of that... I'll discuss it with my midwife when I next see her in two weeks. Thanks Yey for a selfish day, sounds lovely!!!

Usi and Becky - thanks for that, now I'll be inspecting the toilet before I sit on it - and I don't even live in London!!!

I'm being very judgemental tonight My mums friend's eldest (21) has just told her family and friends that she's pregnant. As pleased as I am for the good news, I am a bit concerned, as is everyone else (Including her mum) because she's VERY immature. I feel rather bitchy, but its true. I did call her earlier to make sure she was okay - was a huge shock for her - and have said I'll be there to support her if she ever needs to talk, as I totally sympathise. Just... She acts like she's about 13

Also - must tell you all how very stupid I was earlier. I somehow managed to forget I had such bad pains in my hips, and went to cross my legs. OUCH. I really do amaze myself sometimes

Wook sorry crossed posts. Thank you for saying all that, I do feel a bit reassured now I think its just that before I came on here, I was very naive about birth really - the idea of tearing or cutting had never even crossed my mind I figured they must just come out, with a bit of pain, and that was that. Wow the things mumsnet teaches you Thanks for sharing the info about the epidural, too. That's kind of what I want - I want to be able to build up my strength before hand, and then be capable of pushing. I really did want a water birth (trying to combat the fear of tearing, again!!) but I'm really not sure. I'm so tired all the time now, I don't know how on earth I've going to push this baby out!!! They also say that the first stage of labour tends to last longer for my age group, so might be worth getting some rest while I can!!!

Again, thanks x

There are no prizes at the end of the day: everyone is different and giving birth is no exception, or breast feeding, or any of the parenting lark. I used to get so upset at people who sniffed at my failure to breast feed as if I somehow didn't 'care' enough for my baby. And it is the same with the giving birth thing: no-one should judge anyone on how much pain relief they need - every birth is different.

If it is a reassurance to anyone who has torn before I had a third-degree tear with DS1 (the birth bit was fine the stitching up and how the consultant treated me was a nightmare when I went into shock as soon as he tried to touch my nether regions!) and was really nervous about DS2 as a result but it was fine. I just had a small second-degree tear with him which healed itself.

Anyway, tea time now, spag bol. Yum.

Thanks becky that has reassured me

And what a lovely post from wook. We will all be going home with our gold star babies, that's what matters