Due November 2009 - we just can't stop chatting!

[BeckyBendyLegs]

A new thread!

erika sorry about your predicament but Laugs is right try Citizens Advice Bureau..they are usually quite helpful. As much as you want to bury your head you really musn't. Sort is out as soon as possible with the support you get from the CAB..Good luck with DP..

Southern I'm sorry you felt so bad..we all shout and then feel bad. your DD sounds like an angel. Don't be sad, we're all doing it at the mo..
ninja good luck we're thinking of you!

my mother is here and although I'm being a saint its hard..she is doing all she can to help and its a blessing..but she is undoing all my work, feeding DD instead of letting her get on with..i need to train her to feed herself before the baby arrives!

Laugs - we are in a flat too and the second room was a box room. It is now in fact a tupperware container after the stairs are in. I was horrified at how much of the room was taken off! So, now, we can fit a cot, set of drawers, a chair, some shelves in there. Our plan is, baby will be with us for 6-12 months, depending on baby, and then the next move will depend on baby and DD. If earlier, will probably go into the 'nursery' for a while, if older, maybe straight into DDs room. Her room is big luckily, so there will be space for both of them and their toys and we will use the 'nursery' as a 'closet' for my shoes and clothes! or a computer room or something. If DD does not want baby in with her, he will have a toddler bed and nothing else in the nursery!!!

We tried to sell, flat on the market since April last year, at just the wrong time, the market took a downturn pretty much as soon as we put the place on the market and as such people panicked and decided they would wait for the market to drop further and we have been unable to sell. We made the decision to have our second baby anyway, as life is too short to wait for the 'right time' if that ever exists, and use our small equity to get the loft done.

The building works are horrendous right now - stairs have been a pain, some issues, the builders are still putting them in on day 2, and might take another day at least

Bras - I was told, don't know how true, that underwired bras can damage the muscle under the boobs which can impact on sagginess in the future, as well as the milk duct problems. I therefore would like to err on the side of caution and not take a chance, even if not true! I am lucky enough that I am able to get away with not bothering with bra/weaing my supporting bikini still.

broodzilla so sorry you are still being sick. And you should not feel guilty. No matter that other people want to get pregnant and can't, it does not detract from the horrendousness of being phsyically unwell. I am now at the stage of being sick where every time I am sick I feel so depressed, I am weepy, and I just want to curl up and wait for it to all be over and baby arrives. Even though I am not sick every day any more. It is physically AND mentally draining. So do not feel bad at all for feeling that way.

pavlov do you mind if I ask what kind of cost getting your loft done was? We are in a similar situation - had never thought we'd still be here for baby no.2, but our flat is now worth less than we bought it for in 2006 and we earn less as well as we were both working full time back then - so looks like we'll be here for a while yet! Our loft is big - almost the size of the whole flat. I'm pretty sure the cost would be prohibitive though.

erika for the Sure Start £500 grant you have to apply between 29 weeks pregnant and the baby being 3 months old. Hope that helps. Might be good to apply earlier, since the first 3 months are likely to be hectic enough!

despite my very lazy morning I am exhausted today! we're supposed to be meeting DH at a park in town later for a picnic dinner and just the thought of getting into town on the bus is wearing me out.

Laugs - your situation sounds exactly the same as ours. Our flat is worth less now, and we thought, rather than lose the money we had put into the flat (overpaid) on negative equity we would re-invest into the flat and get it back when the flat price rises again. In fact, you have DD similar age to DD who loves stairs don't you? You are me if I recall!

It has cost around £17k (not yet finished and we have added some extras, like additional skylight). BUT, we took a chance with a builder who was not a loft conversion specialist, which was around £24k, (not en-suite, and not Dormer). We spent time researching both options and felt, after seeing our builder about 6 times for coffee and a chat about what he would do, what we wanted, we chose this route. Again, we were lucky, in that he recommended an architect who was also a structural engineer, who happened to be the former chief of the local building control but now retired, and he in turn recommended the builder (we felt this recommendation to be a good one as he would not put his reputation on the time for a crap builder), and this convinced us to go for it. Also, as the builder was so desperate for the work, he undercut others and gave us a fixed quote before we had the plans done (he took a chance too).

One of the big disadvantages this way is that it has taken 8 weeks so far, and probably another 2 to go, and a specialist co would be in and out within 6 weeks. BUT, for £8k difference (and less flexibility for example he over-ordered spindals for staircase and will replace our other ones for nothing while here) the additional time was worth it.

We could not have afforded it at £24k and so I think we were determined to find it cheaper, especially in this market. (we are in south west though).

The biggest problem with loft conversions, is now it is so so strict re building regs, we have a large loft, but with eht high ceilings and head height regs on the stairs, and regs for the floor, double insulation etc, we have lost a lot of space due to the way the stairs have gone in (and you have to have a fire door, with a corridor now, takes up a lot of room), and the suspended floor is higher than we wanted, and insulation has brought the walls in a bit, the room is significantly smaller than the actual loft itself, although we have a lot of storage under the eves. If we did it 3 years ago, it would have a good chunk of space free which is now not . but at least we won't die in a fire

sorry that last bit was a bit dry. apologies.

Thanks for the positive vibes ladies, I think they did the trick.
Bloods all fine so no nasty cause of the pain and babber is all good. It still hurts but I've had enough of being poked and prodded so have refused further scans and tests because I just want to be at home.

Have raised white blood cells so fighting off a virus somewhere but probably nothing that rest won't cure.

Hope you are all well x

pavlov your situation does sound just like ours: yet more proof that we are in fact the same person. 17K is about what I expected and not something we can afford, but I'll add it to my list of property-type fantasies. I'm buying a lot of lottery tickets at the moment...

ninja glad to hear all is well. It is nice to know you are being thoroughly examined, but not too nice to be poked and prodded, so I bet you're pleased to get home. Is that what raised white blood cells means? I rang my midwife yesterday chasing up test results for blood I had taken a month ago and she said my white blood cells were raised (not what the test was for). I guess if it was a virus it will have come and gone by now though.

the picnic was not a huge success. I got DD into town and she was really winding me up, mostly because I was tired I think. We had to go and buy food first and she started messing around in the shop and chucked a whole salami over her head onto the floor. Normally I might think this was quite funny (while telling her off), but it really upset me and I marched her out. By the time I met DH I was in tears in the middle of town. Thankfully they left me to go and get a coffee while they bought picnic food and we had a nice time in the end. And DD fell asleep on the bus on the way home, so none of the going to bed palaver tonight.

Hi All

Must have been the night for it last night as DH and I ended up having a bit of a barny Triggered by the baby name conversation. Oops.

ninja glad you're ok.

erika I really think you should look into this photo business and get some legal advice - either through CAB or maybe trading standards. Companies are not allowed to coerce you into buying things you don't want, and if they've preyed on your vulnerability then there are laws against that. I haven't forgotten about the stuff I have either so will drop you an email over the weekend when I've sorted out what we have extra.
I had DD and was on income support and on my own, and we managed ok so try not to worry. You can go down to the benefits office and ask them to work out how much you'll get and when. They will also be able to give you any forms you need there and then too.

Can't remember who was asking about bras - I have two Anita underwired maternity bras and I love them. They are designed for maternity, have softer wires than normal bras and have a wider fit around the breast so they lay flat on your body. But as I'm now a 36G and will still grow a bit, it keeps them supported and looking decent which is a godsend.

We're in the loft conversion brigade here too, have one in this house and did one in the last house. The extra space you get is amazing and well worth it. Baby will still go in with DS though once he's sleeping through the night and DS is quite excited by the idea!

Thanks ladies... Just all getting on top of me. Problem is, Scarlotti, I signed it on the premisies. And so although their sales tactics are out of line, theres a catch on the agreement that states I can't get out of it. But when I spoke to CAB and Consumers Direct, they both said that there's a caluse about Age / Health / Experience that I fall under all three sections off that should exempt me. In my first letter I said I'd send the photos back. But it not them that are harssing me, its the credit company - whose, incidently, name did not appear on any of my paper work Its the harassment that's getting me down, as well as the actual financial details. We'll see.

Thankyou for your advise about the benifits office, I might do that. And take your time, I imagine its crazily busy your end too Thanks. x

Ninja, I'm so glad everything came back okay

Laugs poor you, glad that the actual picnic itself was enjoyable though

Ugh for some reason Yahoo has stopped accepting my account details, so can't get onto freecycle!!!

Its DP and my six month anniversery tomorrow - someone should buy the poor man a medal, putting up with me for so long!! Rather ironic that I'm nearly 26 weeks pregnant, admittedly, but still. We've decided we're making a big deal of it

Finished Bryn's shawl, now started on a crocheted patchwork blanket

Had a better night last night thank goodness! DD was still a pain going to bed but I didn't get stressed and let her get on with it. She was asleep an hour earlier than on Wednesday night so that's something at least!

Hope you and dp enjoy your 6 month anniversary Erika

Glad everything came back ok Ninja and hope being at home resting is helping.

Has anyone else got NO idea about names yet? I really want a name to sort of jump out at me for baby but as yet nothing! There are some names I like but nothing I love and want to call the baby! I know we have time yet but I guess cos we had dd's name quite early on I feel like we should this time too!

Oooh, my earth shoes just arrived! Am currently wearing them around the house to break them in! At the moment they feel really quite comfortable. Will need to wear them a while to see if I can feel a difference properly I'm sure but all good so far

I must remember to check out these earth shoes!!
Getting the odd twinge in my pelvic area when I'm walking now - and not any great distance? Any ideas ladies? It seems to be at the front if that makes sense, but under my bump.

Erika if there are clauses that apply to you, then get a letter written (either yourself or with the help of CAB) and then send a copy to both the photo company and the credit company. If they do call, tell them you are taking legal advice with regards to those clauses and are also getting in touch with your local MP. That normally makes companies back off - it's also a good route to take to get some help as local MP's can get through to speak to the right people. Hopefully it might give you some peace

southern don't worry about the name. We had one for DS and after a few months of pg we got fed up with it and he ended up being something else. It's a potential one for this new DS-to-be but I still have my heart set on one that is obviously not floating DH's boat! Sigh.

We had a big row last night too, about lack of space/ too much clutter. I started it - in fact, I'd already gone to bed and got up just to shout at him - so I feel like I should make some start on sorting the clutter today as we've both said we'll get rid of stuff. I'm soooo tired though. And so hot! Anyone else? It is a grey day here, but all I'm wearing is one of DH's big shirts and I'm still boiling hot.

The sun is shining in Bristol.

I'm with you on the lack of space. We are in a two bed flat. Luckily our bedroom is pretty big but ds's room is tiny and I don't think a teenager and small baby can really share so either the newbie is in with us until ds moves out or we need a bigger place (the idea is that more will follow this one so think it's the latter)

Ugh, a move and a small baby. We're obviously not very good planners.

Oh and the clutter. Me and ds, hoarders. Dp, borderline OC tidier. His tolerance of clutter is so far bellow mine I might as well live in the clouds. Still he keeps a lovely home, bless him.

Off to hairdresser for a treat then work for penance. Hope all is well in the world of the ever expanding bump.

Oh and I forgot to tell you that the consultant friend I took to hospital with me told me yesterday that she thinks this is anouther big one due to it's head being by my pelvis and its feet under my rib cage. "Did you not notice the dr gasp when they did the scan?" she said.
Sigh, I feel an epidural coming on.

Hi ladies , just thought i'd post today as i'm really quite fed up .
oh but before i start freecycle wont accept my log in either erikamaye so its not just one of us we're trying to declutter too as we're in a small 2 bed house with a 6 year old 2 dogs and 2 cats !!
Anyway i think dh has had enough of me , as i got up to go to bed i murmured that i was soo tired and he said that i'm always fed up and tired ! and that i was supposed to be blooming and enjoying being pregnant !
he said when was the last time i said that i'd had a good day and was 'full of beans' ! well i'm sorrrrryyyy !!! but at 10 o'clock at night i've never said that i'm 'full of beans' !!
anyway i struggled to sleep then as i was soooooo angry at his insensitivity (spelling ?)
Besides the fact i'm 25 weeks gone , i'm watching our daughter all day everyday due to summer hols off school and i'm in the process of painting our housse from top to bottom and sorting thro all our clutter ready for baby .... all while he's at work ! and still getting a meal on the table at tea time when he gets home ( all with spd i might add !)
anyway rant over i think
I need to clear our front room as my mum is coming round this aft to help me paint it because she knows i'm struggling but it needs doing
Laugs i'm always hot too ! the muggy weather is'nt helping is it
southernbelle77 i've looked at those earth shoes after reading posts about them on here , but even in the sale they're about £40 ish so dont think i can stretch to that until the house is finished .... if it ever is !
I need to move off this sofa now ..... ......thinking about it !!!

Very grey here this morning, hope it clears up as I want to take ds to the giant paddling pool in town.
Pavlov was it you with the loft for 17k? Was that a loft room or a loft conversion? We were thinking of a loft room for guests to use occasionally, but is this any cheaper and/or is it a false economy??
As for names, we have settled on ours (Hedy)and I think it probably won't change now. though I had a major wobble after discovering a possibl connection between Hitler and Hedy Lamarr!
ds was going to be called Gene, or Geno, for quite a while, I think I was hormonally besotted with Gene Hunt, ands I like that Dexy's Midnight Runners song Geno. Thank heavens I changed my mind, it would not suit him at all! He was also going to be Ernest for ages after his great grandad, but I kept thinking of Ernie, the fastest milkman in the west! Named him mid labour in the end, DH could not refuse at that point as I'd already been in labour for about 36 hours. (This is a good trick for sneaking in a name DH/DP does not like, I reckon )

Tink sounds like you are up against it and working really hard. I think the 'blooming' thing is a myth created by men! Feel more wilting than blooming myself!

Scarlotti, I might get my MP in on the case, thanks. I've written so many damned letters now. I knew they were going to harass me, but I just want to scream at the bastards lovely people, "I'M SIX MONTHS PREGNANT AND BACK ON MY MEDICATION, LEAVE ME THE HELL ALONE!!!"

Ninja, me and DP are the same - total polar opposites. He picks up little bits of fluff off the floor, and hates leaving the washing up... But still, I detest it, so can't complain!! And ouch I hope the little one is slightly smaller than they're thinking!

Tink, hmm that's curious..! Glad its not just mine though. Will try it again later...

Wook, did giggle at naming your DS mid labour!! I'll bare that in mind ;)

DP is ill So I'm spending the weekend alone... I was so looking forward to cuddles and our meal tonight!!! Poor thing. He doesn't get ill very often, not to the point of having to take time off work, so he's obviously feeling very rough. Said he's been throwing up since 5

Had a pleasent moment with my brother earlier. Was laying on the sofa crocheting (have done 4 1/2 of the 25 squares already, am on a roll!!!) and had to poke Bryn into a more comfortable position, and my brother was just kinda staring. So I found a boney-bit and let him feel it. He looked in total awe, bless him.

Ohhh off to my antenatal class in a bit, wish me luck, ladies! Am rather nervous, don't know what to expect... Part of me is being terribly judgemental, knowing that the majority will be from council estates simply because of where the center is. I'm not generally a snob, just sterotyping from the fact that the people who bullied me at school were from the same place Ah well. Will have the whole, "I'm a teen mother" thing in common at least, even if there's nothing else to talk about!!!

hey all, DH gone to Big Chill for a stag weekend and its so hot I cannot even breathe.
Erika congratulations on your anniversary. I'm sure your antenatal class will be ok. I was a little nervous before mine too but it was just perfect. Ask lots.

sorry about the space issue for all.. If we were in London we'd be in a two bed flat in Clapham and I dread to think what we'd do!. We're finding it hard enough to sell it from here....its taking ages..1 year so far.

Have you all noticed that you get your most irate just before you go to bed..am always up for a fight then...don't know why?

ninja sorry about your BIG baby...yours was over 10lbs? DD was 9lb 1oz..and I thought that was BIG!...having SPD makes an epidural harder to fathom..I just don't want to snap anything! also though my third degree tear worries me too..lets not worry about that now shall we????

Wook tink I'm still not blooming!...I'm just shattered and wilting every day!

Names...no idea yet..

hi everyone hope your all well!! finding it difficult too keep up with all your post as i don't seem to get on here that often.
Had a bit of a panic last night as hadn't felt the baby move for a little while, got my partner to talk to bump. He must have the magic touch as she started to wiggle straight away , after id been chatting and nudging her for a while. She must be a daddy's girl already!
Im 27 weeks now no idea when my antenatal classes start??will have to ask the midwife when i go next wed, but im really nervous about it too erika feel quite shy and not really sure what to expect!! Good luck and let us no how you get on!!!

I can't believe it's Friday again! Another week gone!

Erika I hope you have a lovely time at the class! All you really need is one or two people you connect with, and it'll all be worth it. Come back and tell us how it went. Sorry your DP is sick, you'll have to celebrate 6months+1week instead!

Wook at naming the baby in labour! We've had a name for quite a while, I do occasionally worry about feeling like it won't "suit" him when we finally get to meet him, but if that happens, we'll just have to deal with it. Traditions are funny things, because here it seems normal for people to name babies while they're still bumps, and certainly announce the name at birth. In Finland people wait (some really superstitiously!) until the naming ceremony 2-3 months after the birth! I didn't even know my brother's name until the priest said it at the christening... So my family are all at us referring to the bean by his name already - they keep insisting on calling him "bean" instead...

Tink I think us feeling down/ill/uncomfortable all the time might make men feel helpless as they can't do anything to "fix" us. It would be nice if they didn't voice it though... I also think that they have a hard time remembering that just because you're home all day doesn't mean that you don't do anything. I work from home, which DH sometimes seems to forget. I know it means I can work in my PJs if I wish, but it also means I'm never away from work... and we don't even have children!

Laugs I had a giggle at you getting up to have a go. I've been known to do that... Let's blame the hormones! (But FWIW, it WAS also a full moon yesterday so that may have caused it all...)

Southernbelle Glad you're feeling better. It must be so hard with kids, because with adults you can expect people to give you a bit of slack and put it down to a bad day, but I guess with kids you can't. so while I don't for a second think that you should feel bad, I understand why you did. On the other hand - isn't parenting supposed to be about teaching kids about the real world? If even Mama has a bad day every now and again then they'll know to expect it from other people, right?

Ninja Yay for sun in the West Country! I've been hooked on Big Brother this summer (I don't usually watch it...) and I swear they're out in the garden sunning themselves every day, and it's just been gray over here! DH and I are a strange mix - he's OCD about things being in neat piles, but doesn't really care if they're where they're supposed to be (so I keep finding bike tools neatly stashed on top of the microwave) whereas I have a high(er) tolerance for "clutter" but only in the right places - so I don't mind books in the lounge. I guess it all comes down to "my stuff and your crap".

Righty-o. Might actually find a journal or two that I can read on the outside and make the most of the sun while it's here! Hope you're all having a lovely day!

yes yes sleepless! before bed definately the most irate, def was yesterday, but the mate of dh's who peed me off the night before last was around again last night, and tho usually i dont mind being called jokey names to do with the pregnancy his calling me 'Lardy' and 'Tubby' earned him some very black looks and felt like chucking him out. tho dh did say "oi! I think she looks very sexy!" so felt a bit vindicated.

Have decided not to go to the antenatal classes this time, as we went to one last time and everyone was so much older and felt soo uncomfortable we wernt really paying attention to the mw's.

misssese I too worried last night as titchy hadnt moved for a while, but as I was worrying she gave me a great big kick in the bladder.

Missese We have the opposite "problem" - whenever the bean is squirming around and I tell DH to have a feel, he stops. Seriously. He could be doing somersaults and Mexican waves one minute and as soon as DH comes closer, he's quiet. DH said the other day that he just knows it's going to be one of those where he'll be a little monkey all day while I'm at home with him and a little angel as soon as DH comes home from work!

Also, I'm most definitely in the "wilting, not blooming"-club. But hey, we don't have long to go now! I can't believe I could start Mat Leave after next week! (I won't. But just knowing that I could feels strange.)

Does anyone want my copy of this book?

Otherwise it's in my charity shop pile. I never got on with the Baby Whisperer, but I know a lot of people swear by it.

Wilting here too...