Due November 2009 - we just can't stop chatting!

[BeckyBendyLegs]

A new thread!

Congrats MrsLemontop!!! Hope bags turn up soon.

I've been useless at keeping up and totally preoccupied with my house this past few weeks. I need a brain dump so sorry if this is all tedious....

I think I may have got past the cleaning stage and now I'm on to the 'how do we fit everything in' stage. Cue plans for extension, investigations into buying out of our mortgage, huge research into clever storage solutions, drawing scale plans of rooms with stick-on bits of said furniture to move around, etc. Poor DH is plagued with it. But I HAVE to have something sorted in my head before the end of this week when I go back to work because I know there's precious little brain space to share in there once I do. There's nothing like pregnancy to concentrate your mind on something!! We are going round in circles at the moment - extension seemed far too expensive but we've since heard that smaller local builders will do them for almost half the price. So we got excited about having loads of new living space and 3 useable bedrooms. Then we started grieving for the garden and how running around space would be severely limited and washing line would have to be moved into that play space too (which we have loved having, especially since this summer has been nice). So now we might be on to garage conversion, but need to come up with ideas about where to put bikes, wet buggies, tools, tumble drier, freezer, winter tyres, etc. I don't see DH agreeing to that one. So we're probably back to staying as we are with cleverer storage, BUT nowhere to dry clothes and nappies. ARGH. I've been round these circles too many times and I'm getting a little demented.

DD is really playing up these days too - mega attention seeking.

DH isn't sleeping, so nor am I. Dodgy gut as well today.

I might actually be looking forward to going back to work....

Laugs, my doula recommended those CDs, for what that's worth.

I'm not sleeping wonderfully either. Apparently pregnant women in the last trimester don't enter the deep sleep phase of the cycle as often (hence all the mad dreams and the feeling of being bloody knackered when you wake up). I'm resigned to being sleep-deprived or tired for the next two years.

ah that makes sense, i am bloody knackered all the time.

It's the mad dreams that seem to wake me up too, although they're probably happening because I'm sleeping lighter rather than vice versa.

ninja diolch yn fawr! Where abouts in Pembrokeshire is home? Mum has moved back down that way now, just up from Cross Hands.

having a pg moment at work - have lost my notebook and have no idea where it's gone. Has all my work in which is really annoying. Am hoping it turns up on someone's desk and they realise it's mine. Have retraced all my steps from yesterday afternoon but to no avail Aargh!

P.S. Not me with the garlic rememdies

Ohh that explains me dreaming about Wheatabix this morning!!! I nearly cried when we didn't have any. It was such a good dream..!

The lady from the council has just been round - apparently the complaint we got about our dog... Well, they got COMPLETELY the wrong address! I guess I should be a little annoyed that they stressed us out that much, but I think its hysterically funny. The poor woman - well, girl, really, she was only a few months older than me! - looked terrified when she turned up. I made her a cup of tea just to show we weren't angry. She looked so releaved, bless her.

Feel bad for bitching about DP - he's feeling really low.

Got to go put my buggy back together and make a list of what I still need to buy.

Scarlotti, I hope your notebook turns up soon!

Hobnob sounds crazy... Hope you find the time to relax!

Erika you've just made me realise that I haven't even begun to think of what I need to buy this LO. Not much at all I suspect, but I must make a mental note to think about it sometime. A name would be good too . To give me credit, I did manage to get a fabby breast pump for me off ebay last night.

Hmmm. I sense a me me me theme here...

I have a question... My holidays run from jan-dec so I'm using 3wks annual leave in the run up to mat leave starting officially on my due date. If baby arrives, say 3wks early, does my mat leave start straight away resulting in losing my holidays? Or do I still have 3 wks at full time pay before stat kicks in?

The latest you can start your mat leave is when the baby is born, so in that case your mat pay would kick in from the baby's birth. It would be your company policy that would dictate what happens to your leave - i.e. if they'd let you carry it over in those circumstances.

Am sure that's right, if not then someone will come along who can correct me

problems to sleep well here as well. I've read that it is a "nice gesture" of the baby to get us used to it. I would have found it nicer to get some sleep for another three months... But it is actually true that I seem to have less problems to fall aslepp again after having been to the loo. So maybe there is really a positive side.
lemontop, same problem here. I've actually started another thread with this question. I really want something with a flat carrycot (with lots of space) for the first few months, but then I'm concerned about getting on busses. From 6 months, a normal buggy, like the MacLaren seems to be ideal for travelling and moving around in London. But then, I wonder if it is worth to buy an expensive pram for just a couple of months. My husbands opinion: It is worth it as we will have plenty of children (he is planning a football team... at least he gave up the idea of two sets of football teams )

ursigurke we had a big 3 wheeler travel system last time which had the lie flat carrycot option. When I needed to go on the bus I just used a sling, which was really handy. However, I didn't use the bus that often so it's personal choice whether you think that might work for you. We got a Maclaren from a friend when DD was about 1 or so and it has been a godsend ever since. Especially for going in shops.

I've decided not to buy a double buggy this time around (for now, anyway) hoping that DD will walk/buggy board whilst the carrycot is in operation and the LO can go in the sling if it doesn't work out. I'll see the wisdom of that decision later in the year! I've just realised I hadn't factored in Aberdeen winter to DD's lack of pram cover. Hmmm.

Hobnob have some me me me time - I get the feeling that come November you'll barely have time to remember your own name!!! Do you have a buggy board, by the way? We were given one from the charity shop for free, but not going to use it, seeing as this is the first. If you'd like it you're more than welcome.

Ursigurke I'd have much rather opted for three months more sleep too... I miss sleep already!

I've just been out for a cream tea with an old friend, was LOVELY. Apart from people presuming he was the father !!!

Ladies - just been made aware of this. They're considering replacing DLA and AA with more funding to social services. I'm not the only one who relies on DLA as their only income. Would ask you all to please have a look at this, and prehaphs sign to show your support. Thanks. x

www.benefitsandwork.co.uk/disability-living-allowance-(dla)/dla-aa-cuts

Scarlotti is right about the leave claire21 You should talk to your HR dept/person about what will happen if you give birth within your annual leave period, whether you can carry it across, or whether perhaps you can get paid for it. Sometimes companies will pay instead. I can carry 4 days across to the following year, but lose anything else, as DD was 10 days early I am taking 1 week maternity and the rest prior to it annual leave so I do not lose any leave. If I go into my leave I will carry across 4 days and take it back at the end, and thus balance out the weeks maternity that I will lose (i work 4 day weeks so ideal).

My day has been, v v v v v v stressful, with a tentatively positive outcome. I think we have sorted out issues with the builder, but not getting too excited, we still have weeks of work to go, and now another 2 weeks to undo the two major mess-ups. But, its a positive start that the builder admitted he messed up (although blamed the reason on the architect!).

So, while the builders spent the afternoon ripping the new partition walls out and the newfloorboards up we went to the local free sea water lido and swam and lounged by the pool! It was just fab. The weather has been great today and we took our friend who was due her first baby yesterday. We got deckchairs and bought chips and DD just swam and swam and jumped and splashed and swam in sea water and sun!

My friend said however, when I first saw her, baby's position felt same, not dropped yet. Then when we walked to the car to come home after swimming, she said 'oooh pavlov, the baby feels like it has dropped , it feels lower into my pelvis, is that possible?' so the swim might have done her some good! (although she wants to be late)

Scarlotti Home is a village called Nevern between Fishguard and Cardigan (just outside Newport Pembs) nestled at the base of the preseli's.

I have my twenty-eight week appointment this morning.

It occurs to me that in twelve weeks, more or less, this baby is coming OUT. When DS was born, my husband said that it was rather like inviting a complete stranger to come and be your roommate for the next eighteen years - you have no idea what their temperament is like, and whether their habits and preferences will coincide nicely with yours or clash hideously, but it's TOO LATE, they've irrevocably moved in. And now we are expecting another small stranger to join us. We must be barking. (I hope this one has less of a propensity for all-night partying than the last.)

Pavlov bloody builder...! Glad you had a good day in the end though. How exciting about yout friend Mmm... Chips...

My friends are on holiday so took my Mum to aqua aerobics last night - it was so bloody funny. I've never seen her laugh so much!! Drives me bonkers sometimes, but really do appriciate I'm lucky to have such a supportive set of parents. I decided I'm going to book her a hair appointment - she said she can't afford to, and was going to dye and cut it herself. But she's been so helpful recently, and it always boosts her up. So going to book a sneaky appointment for the week before the party in Liverpool

My therpaist is STILL ill Not mad at her, obviously, but that's three weeks in a row now. You'd have thought that CAMHS would have arranged for someone else to at least give me a call to see how I'm doing. UGH.

Meeting with Social Services today. They've already told me what is going to be said - that its most certainly not a child protection issue, but that they are going to hand over to family support just in case any of us need any extra help after baby is here. Much as I appriciate it, and I know its better to keep the file open rather than trying to get it re-opened, should I need it, I find it kind of upsetting that my baby will have a social worker before he's even born. Trying to dislodge my prejudices, but its very hard. I know these people can be of great help to me, and to the baby, and to my family, but still. It stresses me out.

Last night I dreamed I was in The Rocky Horror Show Loving pregnancy dreams!!

Crossed post -

Tamlin, hope you're appointment goes well

UGH!!!! * your, not you're... Must engage brain before typing...

I have my 28 week appt on fri, I keep thinking aout the fact that 12 weeks is no time. cant wait to meet her tho. wondering if she'll get my curly hair and her daddy's green eyes. Getting well uncomfortable now tho, and i know its only going to get worse.

Oooo so much to catch up on!

Lemontop congrats on your wedding! Your honeymoon sounds lovely. I hope your bags turn up soon.

Eeyore are you feeling better, you poor thing?

I have been visiting friends/family around the country but ended up stopping extra days at my parents' as me and my Dad have got horrid food poisoning from a nice Italian restaurant! Am so annoyed! I am so careful about everything food-wise and ordered a tuna pizza 'cos I though this was pretty safe. Dad had tuna pasta thing so was obviously the most dodgy can of tuna ever DH had lamb which is what I really wanted, and he is fine This was on Saturday and I still {TMI} have diarrhoea. YUCK. Although the horrid stomach cramps have gone, thank god. Have also lost 4 pounds - is this bad??? Baby is kicking like mad, am worried he is stressed. Although surely if he were starving and distressed he wouldn't be moving? Grrrrrr. Am not eating out ever again!!!

BBL your holiday sounds lovely.

RE maternity leave and when to start: I was planning (and DH still thinks I am) on going when I am 38+6 - is this ridiculous?? I kind of feel pressured from school as they haven't even advertised for a mat post yet and previous pregnant people have worked right 'til the last minurte. BUT half term is when I am 37w, so am thinking this might be a better option, although would more than likely have used up my 2 weeks full pay when baby arrives. All so tricky!

Right, off to read posts. Sorry mine is epically long!!

God I am so tired today. I was awake - again - between 1am and 4am. It is starting to drive me mad. There must be something that can help? This evening I am going for a walk before bed, then having a warm bath. The thing is I am fine getting to sleep, it is staying asleep that's the problem.

Jealous of those of you hitting the 28 week mark. I am 25 weeks today so still feel like the birth is a long way off. I wish it would hurry up, I am impatient to meet my new lodger!

erika it sounds like you're taking a very sensible approach to social services. Was also shocked at that link you posted that DLA might be replaced. Haven't read it all properly but will go back to it when I can think straight.

pavlov how exciting for your friend - is this the one whose husband is working at the fesitvals?

those of you with toddlers - have you decided what to do about childcare while you are in labour? I'm hoping to have my mum come and stay, but not sure if it'll be enough time to ring her when the contractions start.

claired21, pavlov - thanks. That's what I thought and it should mean that I can leave early Oct on pretty much the same terms - one week maternity and rest holiday. That would be ideal as I really want some time to concentrate on building up a couple of more clients. I'd love to be able to come back part-time to my day job, but need to have more income from my business first. Oh, and there's the baby stuff to get ready, too... . Mustn't forget the baby stuff.

I have just noticed my sleep change completely. It's like a reversal of day and night: I wake up early and can barely open my eyes and remember my name, but in the evening I'm fully awake. And keep getting up three or four times to use the loo. Well, at least there's a spectacular shooting star shower to keep me occupied.

Woken up this morning at 6am with the worst leg cramps to date, my screaming woke up DH too! Oops. I remembered them from DS, but had forgotten just how painful there are. Cue DH trying to lean over the extra pillow between my legs to reach for my foot to pull back The joys!

kaster only you will know if you can last to 38+6 but my experience is that 37 is the latest that you can cope to be honest. The last few weeks really are uncomfortable and general mobility is difficult, let alone trying to function in a work place. Might be different if you were at home. Obvioulsy, you might be as fit as a thoroughbred and sail right up to the end ......

Tamlin good luck with the mw today - are you lucozading then? Mine's tomorrow and I have a list of questions as long as your arm! Haven't seen the woman since week 16!

Laugs we are in the same position. Mum lives about 5 hours drive away - my last labour was 3.5 hours. We plan to put DS into nursery 3 days a week from when I leave work. If I go into labour on a non-nursery day they've said we can drop him off there anyway. We also have the fall back that DD is 15 so able to get them both up and to nursery/school if the worst came to it. Do you have any friends that could be your stand by until your Mum arrives?

For sleep problems, I can recommend acupuncture. I did it in the first trimester and it totally revived me and made things so much easier to handle. Thinking of going for a session this weekend actually as my sleep is far from sorted at the moment! My clinic has a drop in session for £15 so it's worth looking about.

Erika Oops, forgot to reply to you, sorry. Try not to see the negative parts of having social services around. They have access to services that can be of real help, and at least you will always have someone to ask about any clubs/associations/issues you have without trying to get hold of a HV or MW post birth. Try and see them as a security net that you then don't have to provide - you can then put all your energies into keeping yourself healthy and being a great Mum. Looking after a newborn is so tiring that you can easily get to a point where you feel you have nowhere to turn - the knowledge that you have a safety net can make all the difference.
Had I had more support after the birth of DS I'm pretty sure I wouldn't have had such a bad dose of PND as I did.