Due November 2009: Second trimester thread!

[turtle23]

New thread for you as it was geting a bit big...

Morning all! Hi, and welcome wook. I am most impressed with your willpower for holding off posting so long! Like you, I too had 2 mc's last year so know the worry and stress that early pregnancy can have. I still get worried from time to time that something will go amiss. This thread has been a lifesaver though as it's great to be able to talk to others who have been through the same thing you can share the highs and lows with.

And talking of what people say about when you conceived, we went to Hawaii in February, so whenever we tell people we are due in November, they are always saying, ooh Hawaii baby is it! I just reply, yeah that or my birthday, we didn't stop all month! Usually shuts them up! DH and I have joked that if it's a girl it might well be a holiday baby and so we will have to go for names like Lulu (ie Honolulu), or Kiki (ie Wikiki)!! Clearly joking! Poor children knowing when and where their parents did the deed is just not needed!!

Oh, quick question too... is anyone still taking vitamins like pregnacare or anything? And does it matter if I don't? I have them, but pregnancy brain means I forget nearly every day.

Morning everyone

wook welcome to the thread and congratulations on your pregnancy There are a few of us here that have had similar experiences to you - this will be dc3 for me (dd 14 and ds3.5) but I lost 2 ttc this one, one at 5wks and another at 10wks ending in an erpc on xmas eve.
As grace said there's a brilliant thread here which is full of pregnant ladies after m/c at various stages. Any problem you come across, one of them will have been there so it's a wonderful support for the more wobbly times.
Here's a wonderful support for the joys (or not!) of pregnancy and lovely pregnancy babble that only pg ladies can understand and have the patience to chat about for ages!!

My 20 week scan is next Friday and part of me is terrified they'll find something wrong, especially as I've really started to bond with baby now. Am trying to keep the fear at bay with the excitement of knowing we're going to find out the sex.

We went to a hotel near my Mum's for valentines this year so she could have the dc's, with the aim of ttc. As it was, I ovulated 6 days earlier than normal so luckily we'd done the deed in time at home. Was still a lovely night away ... the hotel was the Knab Rock so maybe just as well from a name front!

southernbelle x-posts. I haven't taken any since 12 weeks - and if I'm honest I forgot so many during the first 12 weeks I'm lucky if I managed to take more than about 6 during the whole time mw said not to worry though as it's just extra on top of your diet.

Morning all.

Southernbelle - I also have taken hardly any due to feeling so sick I just couldn't face then, obviously did when i could, but haven't taken any for quite a while. I think so long as you have a healthy, varied diet there is no need (had curry last night!?!).

Welcome Wook

Welcome Wook!

southernbelle I've just started taking pregnacare again as the midwife told me my iron was low when I got my blood test results (and that blood was from when I was taking them daily).I'm also trying to eat more red meat / green veg etc and it might explain the tomato obsession.

scarlotti great news your scan is on Friday. I wish I could have one at 20 weeks instead of 22. I still can't decide if I want to find out the sex.

Morning and welcome to wook. When are you due? And good luck with the scan - will you find out the sex? We have one girl and one boy on this thread so far.

I'm feeling a bit down today as trying to make a tough decision about whether to take DD out of nursery. I'd feel awful doing that as she really enjoys it, but I'm just not earning any money at the moment. Since January, each month (work-wise) has been my 'worst month ever', only ever trumped by the month that succeeds it. (Slight blip in that pattern - in May I earned nothing, in June I am set to earn £75!... ). From a selfish point of view, I think I'd also find it hard being at home with DD all day every day (at the moment she has nursery 3 mornings a week); I also really enjoy my work, when I have it, so would find it depressing to turn work down - but my only major concern is about her. I feel like I'm caught between a rock and a hard place, as it's an extra cost we can't really justify at the moment, but I don't want to let her down. To put it into context, DH earns 19K, so things are tight enough with a family of 3, soon to be 4...

Heya! Am in Brighton and Hove, due on the 16th, having the baby at Haywards Heath

I have my 20 week scan in three weeks - am really hoping they can tell me the sex, as am pretty much the nosiest person in existance aside from my own mother!!

Anyway... This is my first, was wondering if there was anyone in the same area?

Well my brain is mush and I am unable to keep up with you lot, and suffering from pregnancy insomnia - so this is a bit scattered!

I don't get my 20 week scan til week 24. I'm at the half way point but still pretty green some days.

Welcome recent newbies! Hey ErikaMaye I am sure someone is close, I wish I was in Brighton and Hove!
wook welcome too!

Katser you should not have lift anything at work.
At my risk assessment it was noted that I know my own limits and I can manage my own workload so I am to self monitor myself and make sure I don't work too hard, quite hard to do though if you have workaholic tendencies. They are partly there to protect the company.
A H& S colleague told me that if you are pregnant you can request naps at work he said there was some new HSE guidance on this, so I will have to send the link, it all sounds very tempting if unrealistic.

Laugs just want to say that it is a super tough call for you and I wish I could offer some helpful advice.

Morning everyone and a huge welcome to wook and erikamaye

Hooray the sun is shining! Hope it stays this way as have bought lots of summery maternity clothes, am currently wearing leggings and a nice tunic style top, leggings are so comfy and I think this will become my pregnancy uniform!

Got my 20 week scan a week Tuesday, am looking forward to it but feel a bit anxious at the same time. Just hope everything is ok and then I can start pram buying and sorting out the nursery! Actually, this baby will be going in ds' room as it is white and I will be decorating the spare room into a proper boys room for him. Think I'm going to go for a nautical theme as me and dh are keen divers, and we live by the sea!

Not going to find out sex of the baby although it is tempting! Dh definately wants it to be a surprise though and I don't really mind not knowing, will find out soon enough anyway!

Right, must get off mumsnet and do some housework! Have a great weekend everyone!

Oooo my period arrived on Valentine's Day too!! Am fairly sure I had been pregnant that month too, as period was 5 days late and it was the most excruciatingly painful and heavy period I had ever had... SUppose I will never know though!

BBL sorry you are so overworked, although kind of good, I imagine, if you freelance? I freelanced for a bit after leaving the magazine and found it v hard to make it amount to a proper wage. So I went into teaching but still do something every month for my old magazine and have got a few things lined up to fill my summer hols - aside from sleeping, that is...

Laugs I hope you're OK. I am sure that DD would not mind coming out of nursery, and if it eased the financial pressure for a few months you might feel more relaxed? Can I ask what it is you do? Sorry, I just wondered if it was something you did at home, then you could still do bits when they came in, even if DDwas at home?

Welcome wook and Erika!

Laugs could you take her out and if you do get the odd bit of work squeeze it in at weekends if it is only a few hours per month? I think that is what I would do in your situation - or reduce her time to one morning a week to give you a little bit of space / leeway in case you get some work?

Hello ErikaMaye welcome too! I think we have a couple of people in your area on here.

Katster I am freelance and I've been lucky that academic publishers seem to want to employ feelancers more these days (cheaper than in-house I guess) so I've been busy. I can't imagine trying to do this full-time though and having to fill a full-time wage. I have to fit work around the DSs and general life.

Laugs I guess you receive family tax credit? You could include the unpaid hours that you spend preparing to work ie keeping your home office running (even if that's just your computer) and the time you spend hunting for work, networking etc in the hours you declare. Just because you are not bringing in any cash for these hours does not mean you are not working them. Could you then claim for child care to cover these and any predicted work you hope/aim to bring in?
My boy is a bit old now for childcare so I'm a bit out the loop.
Alternatively can you claim childcare for respite? I'm sure there must be away around it so you don't have to pull her out.

I have a two hour workshop to deliver this afternoon. DH has taken DS and a friend to bath for the day. Wish I was with them.

Things have got really desperate here money wise but luckily I got offered 22hrs a week running a young carers project. It's not what I normally do and its half the money per hr I get freelancing but it's guaranteed income until Nov so felt I couldn't say no. I've also got five hours a week producing film and podcasts for an internet site, four full days leading animation workshops for naughty kids and two films to make over the summer... so far. Oh and just the eight festivals to work on top. that's a grin of pain and utter madness by the way.

I think sometimes it's a question of thinking outside the box. I knew there were no great career moves I could make whilst pg so aiming for debt minimising instead.

Hi ErikaMaye, welcome to the thread! I'm not sure about people in Brighton/ Hove but we're all a friendly bunch on here, so stick around!

Katster / Becky I do work from home, in publishing as well, but writing for magazines. I made the classic mistake of having only one main client (my former employer) and the work from them has completely dried up. I used to work when DD was at nursery (13.5 hours) then normally one evening a week, and while it was never a huge income, the work filled all the time I had to do it in, so I never got around to looking for other clients until the credit crunch hit. My old boss spoke to me about 2 months ago and said 'we really want to keep giving you enough work, but the problem we have is that we have so many people who are offering to work for less money' (work experience/ interns, I guess). In retrospect, this was clearly an invitation for me to lower my fees, which I didn't do. I'd worked for them for more than 3 years, so don't feel I deserve to be paid the same as an intern! He's given me one job since then.
Anyway, I think it would be hard to do anything more than check emails with DD around, though I could work in the evenings (not for interviews though). I don't know if she'd understand if we had to take her out. The annoying thing is that I've been so keen for her to settle and be happy there, that I talk to her about nursery all the time and make a big deal about all the other children being her friends etc - I've never wanted her to feel like she's going to nursery because she has to, but because she's so lucky to go and see her friends and have fun. That's worked - she is excited every time she goes.

Sorry, that was very Me, Me, Me.

How are you feeling today Katster? I bet you'll feel much better when you're on school holidays and don't have to mingle with all those kids giving you everything!

I hope pedalmonster's ok too. I haven't seen her around for a while and I think she was having a lot of stress at work. Hopefully she's on a nice long holiday!

Sorry ninjacat my mammoth post crossed with yours! We do get child tax credit, but not much of it (only about £50 a month) is the childcare element, and that is still based on me working 18 hours a week.

Your work sounds interesting by the way. I have thought about just getting any job I can to tide me over, but do you think anyone would employ someone who is visibly pregnant? I wouldn't blame them for not wanting me!

Hi EirkaMaye I'm in Hove too and pg with my third. How come you've chosen Haywards Heath for your birth? We're going to the Royal Sussex - Ds was born there and all was fine, plus it's easier for us to go to the closest one with the other dc's.

Laugs tough decision - can you squeeze the cost of just one session, or maybe even just an hour or two so that she still has contact with her friends and a little continuity?

Hi everyone,

Hope you're all enjoying a bit of sunshine!
I seem to have got the crazies: I've washed curtains, weeded the garden and am currently waiting for the dough for cinnamon rolls to prove!

I don't want to be rude, but I've scrolled up and down trying to remember who said what and short of writing notes for myself I'll never get it right, so:

Whoever was asking about cat repellent, our neighbor got one of those little speakers that gives off a noise that cats hate, and that seems to have sorted it. (He thinks that it's completely silent, but he's quite old, bless him... to humans it sounds like crickets chirping, so quite pleasant.)

Whoever asked about vitamins, I still take them, as my iron levels keep hovering just above 12. I figured the vitamins can't hurt, and have actually been popping extra C vitamin and zinc this week as seem to have a cold.

HELLO AND WELCOME TO THE NEWBIES!

Katster I hope you get back on an even keel soon. Try not to worry and make sure you keep your fluids topped up. It might be worth getting some dehydration packs just to be on the safe side (as long as they're ok during pregnancy, I'm not sure!)

We had the scan last night, it's amazing the amount of detail they can see! Zooming in on the brain, all chambers of the heart, kidneys... the lot! We also found out the sex. Despite having been convinced that it's a girl, it turns out that I was wrong. He's quite well hung so apparently there was no mistaking that it is very much a he.

I sort of feel like it's back to square one as I had a girl's name picked and everything, but I'm sure I'll manage to get my head around it in a couple of days. I think DH is secretly pleased.

Right, I'm off to pin the dough out and ogle at all the babynames websites while the buns are in the oven.

Thought I'd add myself to the list too.
Sorry for being all me, me, me!

Julietbat #2 EDD 28 Oct,
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Thanks guys, I don't feel so bad about not taking it now! I will try and remember and take it when I do remember!! Diet isn't so good at the moment (eating what I want when I want it as it's been not much not often!) so should really try and keep up the vitamins I guess!

Erikamaye I'm just up the M23 a bit from you. I could have choosen Haywards Heath and was tempted to, but I had my dd at Redhill and chose there again as it means I can have all my appointments locally rather than travelling the 25 minutes each way just to see the midwife!

Please everyone stop apologising for 'me, me, me' posts. That's what we're hee for: to listen and share

Laugs your situation is a tough one. I've done the same as you; I work for my old employer too but different departments of the company. I did try to get work from other publishers but not being able to proactively get out and about with children with me I didn't get any offers or anything. I think it is a great shame your ex-boss has gone for the cheaper option rather than guaranteed good quality and experience.

We've had a great time at the Shrewsbury carnival. The DSs couldn't get over the decorated floats / lorries - they loved it.

here no hee!

Broodzilla congrats on having a boy!! I felt a bit bizarre when we were told it was a boy, having secretly hoped it would be a girl, but now I can't wait to meet him! I'm sure you'll feel the same too. It's weird knowing what it is though, don't you think? Makes it more real, somehow. Was it your 20 week scan?? Mine isn't until 15 July - aaaaaages. They don't do it until 22 weeks here.

BBL what a great day for a carnival, hope you had fun.

Can I ask, is anyone else eating 2 portions of fish a week? I am trying, but am rubbish. Not had oily fish for ages and DH is making me eat salmon for tea even though it is the last thing I fancy. Stomach seems fairly normal today though which is a huuuge relief.

I've been rubbish with oily fish as I don't like mackerel, don't like salmon or tuna. I only really like white fish and we have that about once every two weeks - I do feel bad about it.

We're having spag bol tonight because it is yummy! DH is 1/4 Italian so he knows how to cook a good spag bol