Due November 2009: Second trimester thread!

[turtle23]

New thread for you as it was geting a bit big...

scarlotti - I have a history of mental health problems, and they have a duty physc. on at Haywards Heath so thats what my midwife suggested. Its also a smaller unit, and very comfy there! Am in Hove at the moment - don't go to Tescos today, its packed haha.

Thankyou everyone for your friendly welcomes! I'm disabled, so don't tend to get out much, and kinda live online, so that really means a lot!

I'm not eating that much fish - don't seem to be able to stomach it at the moment. I did treat myself to some tuna the other day and it tasted so good. Think we're having duck tonight because my boyfriend decided to treat me... Fantastic, am so not complaining...

Bumped into my old technology teacher earlier in town, he looked very shocked to see me with a baby on the way, but congratulated me all the same...

I'm not ashamed of my age being pregnant - am just 18 - and I in no way feel like it was a mistake now, though I did. But theres this nagging thought at the back of my head telling me I should have read the bloody leaflet instead of listening to my friend... Does that make me a bad mum? I love my baby very much already, and I wouldn't change being pregnant for the world. I can't really put how I'm feeling into words properly..! Sorry for the rant... Just the way my teacher looked at me kinda summed up everything I've avoided thinking - That I had so many possobilities; that with my grades and my intellegance I could have gone a long way... I dunno...

scarlotti the minimum you can do at our nursery is three sessions (which is what she does already). Hmm... so much to consider. I need to have a proper discussion with DH, but DD is always there or I'm just too tired.

broodzilla congratulations! I can imagine it must be strange finding out, but I bet as soon as you start shopping it gets really exciting! Did you manage to find out your DH's blood group?

beckyBL that's kind of why I stuck with my publisher too - they know that I can only work on certain days etc, but that I will get the work done, whereas a new company would expect greater flexibility I think. It is a shame they've chosen cost over quality (I hope!), but not surprising as they've always been tight b**tards! The only interest these days seems to be getting advertising in. I'll have to get a copy of the current mag and check that the quality has gone down. Fingers crossed...

ErikaMaye sorry I crossed posts with you. When I was pregnant the first time it was definitely an accident a surprise. I think it's totally natural to feel a bit ambivalent about the ways your life will change and has already changed. That doesn't mean you won't absolutely love our baby when it arrives.

I remember bumping into my old English teacher when DD was a baby and him being really shocked! He had been one of those people who had total faith in me and expected me to go far (I can still remember the words the wrote in my yearbook actually: that I must use my talents to their full ). I did feel a bit like I'd let him down.

But you are only 18. You have got loads and loads of time to achieve everything and more!

Thanks Laugs - I went from a state school to a full scholorship to one of the best schools in the country, and all my teachers were like "This is going to bring out only the best in you!". The last time I saw him was about a month after I started there, when I picked up my GCSE results. My illness hadn't kicked in by that point, and I was a couple of weeks off heading out to Australia to teach physical training. So the fact that he saw me in a wheelchair today was probably part of the reason for his shock.

I guess I'm just very aware of people staring at me! Its odd, as before I got ill I used to perform an awful lot and love being on the stage even now. But when they're looking down at me when I'm sat in my chair I just kinda shrink. And the way they whisper behind their hands because of my bump... I don't let it get me down, and when I'm with my boyfriend I'm laughing too much to let it, but it does bother me sometimes!

Laugs I look very pg but still had to tell them at the interview as the director hadn't picked it up. He was ok when I explained I would invoice as a freelancer so he didn't have to worry about maternity.
If you're writing from home and your feeling up to it get your CV and examples of your work out there, what matter does it make that your pg if they can't see you? And put your hours up with tax credits to cover getting yourself up together. What sort of publications do you write for?

Erika I've been 18 and pg. Yes you do feel like you are letting a lot of peoples expectations of you down but just thinking it of raising the bar. I know I'm not the only one on this thread who had a baby young and still went to university etc...

I like to think that a baby is a comma not a full stop

Erika try not to let other people's opinions and small mindedness get to you. I had dd just after I turned 20 - I'd done my A levels and was due to go to Uni. I didn't, and was on income support etc. for a bit. When dd was 1 1/4 I went back to Uni and did a 4 year degree, and I've never looked back since.
I appreciate you have other hurdles too with your illness, but these things really can make you stronger if you rise to the challenge. Don't expect too much from yourself at once, but don't let yourself feel that this is the end of something - it's the start of the next chapter.
Dd turns 15 this year and is a wonderful addition to my life, we've been through a lot together and to be honest, she kept me focussed through uni and out of the pub!!
I am now married to my wonderful dh and we had ds 3.5 years ago, and are now expecting another.
However things happen, they can always be for the best - our little family of 4.5 is testament to that.

Ninja x-posts! Love the comma comment, the truest thing I've heard in a long while

Laugs Sorry went off on one, not actually sre you are a writer.
I think what I mean is keep proactive and you will find a way x

Thanks all of you Not quite sure where my little rant came from, but really, thank you all so much. Glad to know I'm not alone, and it does feel like that sometimes, even in a room full of people!!! Thanks everyone

BBL, there's a dastardly rumour going around my old co-workers that OUP is going to start outsourcing their freelance proofing and copy-editing to India, starting with the science academic departments. !!! Not sure how that's going to work, I have known a few English-as-a-second-language bods who know their way about the language better than native speakers, but they're few and far between. My sister thinks it's going to all go pear-shaped on them before they get to the arts lot...

My freelance stuff has dried up too. I don't know why I had a mad rush on during the worst of the puking and fatigue, and now that I feel comparatively chipper again, nothing.

Saw my physio about my increasing hip joint pain, and she recommended that I purchase one of these snazzy numbers:

physiosupplies.com/acatalog/Serola_Sacroiliac_Belt.html

I'm pretty sure that Lara Croft wears one of these.

Me and my DP have just spent our Saturday night watching a DVD about breastfeeding we got from the hospital. Rock and roll eh?! How things have changed.

Welcome Erika. Don't let small minded people get you down. I teach in a college and many of my students are young mums and there's a lot of help out there if you want to continue to study with a baby.

Tamlin oh dear! There will be a lot of very unhappy and unemployed and loyal freelance proofreaders and copyeditors if they do that and it could end up being more trouble than the money it saves. I know freelancers who have worked for OUP for years and years. I've done some proofreading for OUP but I found it too hard and in fact I think you need to be very specialised and skilled to do it effectively. I have editorial skills but no training as a proofreader.

ErikaMaye your post touched me. I had my first DS at 32 and I felt so nervous and immature at that age. I had done the University thing but in the grand scheme of things when you do it, or jobs or whatever, if at all, doesn't matter. It is all just life experience. I found having DS the most challenging, rewarding, difficult, yet wonderful thing I had done all my life: much more fulfilling than any education or job I had done. It is an amazing thing to do to have a child. We are all equal here in what we are doing, whatever our ages, I might now be one of the oldest here, but not quite I think. I am 37 and still as nervous as hell!!!! What I like about this thread is that we have all sorts of people from all sorts of backgrounds, experiences, number of children already from 0-4, ages, histories, etc. We're a real mixture and I love reading about everyone else's experiences.

We went out to a party tonight, am frigging exhausted despite having taken my chair and only staying for about two hours. It was in a pub, so I had to sit there, sipping on my lemonade while everyone else was enjoying various cocktails... We escaped pretty early as I had a pounding headache, and was just there as "the partner of...". So frustrating when I'm in my chair - people talk over your head and expect you to still catch every word they've said!!!

Thought I might suggest a few tips for the fatigue I'm sure everyones feeling. I don't think I stated above, but one of my delightful conditions is M.E. They're not pregnancy tips, but I thought they might be of some use...

• Having a routine in place. Get up at the same time every day - even if this means waking up at work-day time of a weekend! - and go to bed the same time.

• If you know you can do so much, for instance, walk two miles, only do half that amount to conserve energy.

• Eating five smaller meals instead of three larger portions.

• Yoga is a God-send.

• Avoiding caffine and excessive sugar.

• Meditation.

Obviously these won't be ideal for everyone, especially those who already have young children to add to the equation, but I thought I'd try and be of some help seeing as you've all been so nice to me I hope these help a little.

We've booked a holiday!! Just 4 nights at Center Parcs in September but cannot wait, just excited by having so much to do with the DCs, have already booked painting sess. for DD and a 3hr nursery slot for the 2 of them so DH and I can do something.

Have got test drive in a galaxy and in an Smax on thurs - struggled big timeto find a car that will fit 3 baby/toddler seats across the back (DD won't be into a booster for at least a year after baby arrives. Bit scared of driving galaxy as it feels so big, but like the fact that it's higher, hence less bending putting little ones in and out, particularly leaning into the middle seat - anyone out there have any experience with either of these cars? (don't want to use back row of seats as have dog who needs decent size boot - damned dog!).

Lovely weather down here today (was nice yesterday aft as well), so hope you're all enjoying it.

Welcome all newbies!

Tamlin - if your hip pain is getting really bad have your midwife to refer you to physio which will hopefully help. Also, I got my belt from the physio last time so I didn't have to pay for one! Might be worth asking about. My midwife has referred me again as can already feel the pelvic pain getting bad.

Erika M.E. is such a difficult illness to cope with, and on top of being pregnant you are doing such a good job. And as others have said on here, your intelligence and skills will not disappear because you have a baby - you will be able to use them for extra study etc whenever you choose. I am 27 and also terrified about how life will change, but I seriously think I would feel terrified at whatever age I was! You will be fine and it sounds like your boyfriend is a fantastic support.

BeepBeep holiday sounds lovely. We are going away in 5 weeks and I can't wait! Although after the Expedia saga (still ongoing.... But looks like we will lose £1200) I huffily told DH yesterday I was never booking to go anywhere again

Gorgeous day here. Hope everyone has a nice day.

PS BBL feel better that I know not everyone is happily troughing their two portions of fish a week! Cooked the salmon last night.... And it is still in the fridge... Will try and have it in a sandwich later...

Morning all! I am consolidating a spreadsheet today - whoo ooo exciting.

I've just felt something moving in my tummy hadn't felt it for ages.

About to have heinz spag on toast for lunch. Oh so nutricious. Not an oily fish in sight I'm afraid.

Hope all are well today. ErikaMaye I have a friend who had ME when she was your age - and another friend in my year at school who has suffered - he's now doing a degree. I know how difficult it can be to cope with it but as Katster says sounds like you are coping very well and doing a grand job what with being pregnant too Your tips for coping with the tiredness of pregnancy are good. I want to try yoga.

Thanks all

BeckyBendyLegs - Do you have a Wii? The Wii Fit is amazing. It may sound corny, but what they say on the adverts is totally true; its like having your own personal trainer. It tells you how to do it as well as showing you from various angles how the position should look. Its really brilliant. My parents got one this time last year, and its helped with my ME, but its supposed to help with pregnancy / birth as well.

I went to Mothercare earlier (want another pair of maternity jeans seeing as they are pretty much the most comfortable thing in the world!) and bought a baby hat... It was just so so so cute. Plus it will get my mother off my back for five minutes!!

Sending you all hugs today!

Just took dp on a driving lesson!
Aghhh aghhh aghhh
It was all I could do to keep from screaming "what fresh hell is this?" at every juntion, roundabout and crossing.
Teeth are still clenched, knuckles are still white and eyes are still firmly shut.
Will try to extract myself from the corner when I have stopped shaking and muttering to myself.
Hope you are all enjoying the sunshine

Ninja you are so brave, taking DH out for driving lesson!! My DH wants to learn to drive and I have said under no circumstances am I going out in the car with him!!

Hey Erika, My ds was a suprise too. I was 19 and my fiancee (now dh) was 17 about to turn 18 when we found out we were having a baby. Everything is really good for us now, tho hard at times but would never choose to do anything differently. You still have loads of possibilitys with a baby.

Ninja, you do sound brave. Dh offered to teach me but I said no, too scared about wrecking the car more than anything!

Hi all,

I'm flippin exausted! Just spent the last 2 hours tidying up and going through ds toys and re-arranging his toy boxes. Phew, the nesting extinct has come early! Felt lots of movement today and my bump seems a lot bigger too, reckon beany has had a growth spurt, that would explain my ligament ache, either that or I have been overdoing it. Maybe I should veg out on the sofa for the rest of the day, I wish!

beep beep my brother has got a galaxy and he has 3 kids and a dog. He seems really pleased with it, if that helps you at all.

ninjacat pmsl at your driving lesson experience, they do say you should never teach/be taught by a partner!

I want to book a week away in August somewhere in this country, has anyone got any recommendations? Am thinking either Cornwall, Devon or Isle of Wight, bearing in mind I have an active almost 2 year old to entertain and also British weather to contend with!

Erikamaye I don't want to sound patronising but you should give yourself a pat on the back dealing with ms and pregnancy. It doesn't matter how old you are, you already sound like you will be a fantastic mum and can continue your studies at some point in the future and make your child proud. Love what somebody said about babies being a comma not a full stop, should be every mums motto, whatever our age!

Ninja your are mad brave! My dad took me out for one driving lesson when I was learning - that was enough for him.

Erika I don't have a wii. My sister does so might have a go on hers! I've heard the wii fit is supposed to be really good.

Helips poor you. I spent two hours this morning doing the house cleaning and it exhausted me. DH has been good to me today as I've had loads of work to catch up on before next week begins so he's taken the DSs to the 'in-laws this afternoon. I'm watching the Eastenders omnibus! I've done my work for the day.

I'd recommend Devon as I lived in Exeter for a few years and loved it down there. I've never been to Cornwall but it is nice I hear!

Hi,

DD and I have just spent a lovely sfternoon at the beach in the glorious sunshine. She has terrible hayfever today, so I thought the sea air would do her good, which it seemed to, but as soon as we've come back inland she is streaming again. Last time she was like this we ended up in A&E in the night with her wheezing, so I hope it doesn't get so bad again. Think she'll be sleeping with us tonight.

helips and broodzilla I am jealous of your nesting instincts kicking in. Wanna come over to mine? I am doing the bare minimum at the moment - and it shows!

ninja I am a writer yes. I was writing for a regional magazine as the arts editor and also doing most of the big features. I've done a bit of national work, but hardly any in the grand scheme of things. Also quite a bit of contract publishing, so I could maybe try the PR route. I haven't really got the gift of the gab though: journalism seems the much easier side of that fence to me!

helips I went to St Ives last year, which was lovely (although it took bloody ages to get to!). I quite fancy the Isle of Wight too.

erika thanks for the energy saving tips. My life is pretty much the opposite of every one of them, so no wonder I am worn out!