Due April 2009 - Chapter 32: Shake your pom poms, Shake your pom poms, Shake your pom poms!!!

[BabyBolat]

Hope no one minds I gave Nutty the vote after her epic birth!

trista - thats awful. you have enough to deal with with a newborn - all the hormones flying around too - I just cant believe the timing he chose to do this. As bb says - sorry we cant help more- but more than happy to listen if and when you want to offload more.

hope your mum can be about to help more just now though.

meg - good luck. i had roughly one contraction an hour last night - bit of a pathetic effort really. mil having Struan for a bit today so dh and I will head to the cinema and maybe things will pick up more later.

BB - night feed was it at 2.02? am very impressed that you can type and feed at the same time.

Oh trista, I am so sorry to hear that. I hope you manage to sort things out in a way that works for you and your DC. Support winging its way to you...

Trista poor you. You sound so strong though in what must be a very very difficult situation, I really admire you for that. I hope you have friends and family to help - sounds like your mum is close by. Sending you lots of hugs.

Poor little Hazel is still fast asleep after getting a bit confused during the night and thinking it was playtime at 4am! I cruelly put her back in her cot and turned the light off and there was a lot of snorting and coughing and shuffling and a bit of crying until she eventually fell asleep around 5.30. I felt so sorry for her but am determined to get her on the right track from the very start... did the same with DD1 and it seemed to work. It's now over 4 hours since her last feed - I really fancy a shower but have a feeling she might wake up any moment and want her full English breakfast

Springy well done you for having sex - I didn't doubt that you'd try very soon after the birth Must say this is one of the few advantages of a CS, I am actually looking forward to it once I've stopped bleeding.

Those still about to pop may wish to avert their gaze...

I am having a nightmare with Alex at nights, and it seems to be getting worse with each day that passes. He demands to be fed (sucking fists frantically, rooting crazily, pummeling me with his head, and finally crying) but then brings up a lot of his feed, before beginning the cycle over again. I have to hold him upright after a feed for about 20 mins to get him to burp, so he has barely slept in his Amby bed because I crash out in my bed with him on top of me most nights.

Yesterday he fed at 8, slept till 10, demanded to be fed, threw up a huge amount, then squirmed and grizzled for ages, till I took him downstairs, where I gave in and fed him again around 11:30, couldn't get him to burp and then just held him while he asked for milk and screamed blue murder in the end. He crashed out suddenly after an eternity and I took him up to his bed around 1:30am, where he slept for 15 mins and then woke up. Fed him again around 2, and he and I crashed out. DS1 woke me at 5am after a bad dream, DH got up at 6 to go to work, DS1 and I got up at 6:30. I am now utterly exhausted and dreading tonight. I get the feeling that it's not just sucking he wants (he rejects my finger after a while), but milk, which is coming back up. So am not sure a dummy would work. This is all bringing back terrible memories of DS1's reflux and our 6-mth hell...

Auld just a quick one as i'm feeding but read this particularly what tiktok says about over supply and block feeding. could be that this is the problem?

trista sending huge hugs your way xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Contractions slowed right down again , about every 10-15 mins atm and less strong than earlier, how frustrating!!

Meg that happened to me alllll day before i went into labour so dont be disheartened! i didnt believe it was real until my waters went alllll over next doors settee =] wups.

trista i dont know what to say, am sat here jaw on floor after reading that, sounds like the responsibility and change of everything hit him hard and he dealt with it in an immature way. stay strong for your boys they need you more than anyone and you can do it babe, we're all here for your rants, moans, tantrums and tears whatever you need to let out. sounds like your mum is a big help too, so take advantage of that and enjoy Lewin, he cant stop you being an amazing mummy to your boys. thinking about you hun, i really am xxxxx

First night at home with Ollie, he made more noise here than in hospital! was okay though, i love him so much i feel like im going to burst, wont be long for you Meg i can feel it in my massive swollen boobs :P

Oh Auld - how frustrating - I have no answers I am afraid - can you call your MW or HV and see what they say? Kara is doing the snuffly snorting rooting grizzly thing but he doesn't have the sickness UNLESS he is really tired - in which case I have to take him off and let him scream until he calms down and falls fast asleep!

Conker - yep I have to occupy myself otherwise I fall asleep!

I can't work my pram - have no idea how to take the carseat off that we put on yesterday to walk into town - the damn thing is stuck and it's in my living room as the dining room is obviously out of use, the kitchen has a selection of dining room furniture in, the nursery has 6 dining room chairs and all the bedding from the weekend in as I haven't had time to sort it so it's currently blocking my light (I also have the wall mounted stereo, and all the photo frames in the living room too! My point is, I could fold it down and take it upstairs or put it in the kitchen but instead it is 'fully loaded' in my living room grrr!

Still no lansinoh grrrr!!!

Oh Trista He sounds like a totally selfish & immature bastard. But then I'm sure you know that, & it doesn't really help right now. Really well done for sticking to your principles & not compromising yourself for his stupidity. You're very brave & have done exactly the right thing for your children. I hope you're okay & can focus on the good things in life - like your two beautiful boys xx Hopefully he'll come to his senses & make the right decision.

Schulte, I'm thoroughly offended that you made such judgements about my nymphomania I didn't even wait for the bleeding to stop - I just waited for it to be more like the end of a period & decided he could just get over the ick factor. Face-to-face sex with no bump is so worth it

Auld, that sounds like an exaggerated version of what we're dealing with here. I don't even try to go to bed until his post-midnight feed. I usually get to bed about 1am. It means that I don't get so stressed & angry - it really makes a difference to me mentally not to have to sit up in bed at that point. If I'm feeling particularly stressed during the day I'll express for that feed as he drinks from a bottle much more quickly & finds it more satisfying. Perhaps you could try expressing like that? & if he brings it up, you can still feed him from the breast & haven't really lost anything but the expressing time earlier in the day, which you can do at your convenience? I'm obviously really no expert, but it's what I'd try, I think.

Meg, it still seems hopeful

& BB, which pram do you have?

Cx have stopped altogether now. Bah!

Oh no Meg! still they might start just as quickly again!

OK now I know I am being a bit obsessive but I can't find this blardy cream - I have looked everywhere it could possibly be - under the sofa's, under the bed, in old and new changing bags - it's nowhere! It's so annoying!!!

i did work out the pram though!!!

DH is doing my head in. We have argued a lot since baby has arrived. He just doesn't seem to be able to cope with not being able to do things when he wants. Like this morning, it is so hectic, DD1 needs changing and breaskfast but is sat in front of TV while I try to sort DD2 out. I am trying to BF but in tears with the pain, she is screaming the place down. I am then trying to express. DD1 then gets wingy and DH desides to go out for a fag and make a coffee. I know he isn't doing anything wrong, but he can see I am really struggling and need his help and yet he is just interested in pleasing himself. I was starving and really would have loved some brekkie and a cup of tea but I didn't because the kids need sorting first.

Trista - I am vey and for you. My DH did a similar thing to me in the past (although no drugs) and it was absolutly awful. We are actually back together now but I still haven't forgiven him 100%.

Really struggling with BF. Just can't get the latch right. But everytime I ask for help, I manage to do it fine, till I am on my own again!

MW due to come again. I want her to come to help me with the BF but she was horrible last time, and as my house is still a mess, I know she is going to comment again. .

My boobs hurt

Soon2be can you ask DH to stay with you while MW is there and see if she comments when you are both there or ask him to tidy up a little bit first (or just hide the stuff somewhere!)

Have you asked him to help a bit more - sometimes I think they don't realise what we need them to do! they do need things spelled out!

oh Nutty on nicknames:

Karahan = BoBo, birbucuck (pronounced beer-bu-chook) which means 1.5 in turkish (long story), Smelly pants, Olum (my son in turkish)

DH = Baba (dad in turkish), bubs, grumpybum

Me = Mummy, Anne (pronounced aah-ne) - mum in turkish, babygirl, smellybum,

Right am off to drs now - speak to you all later

meg, get contracting!!

Trista, stay strong!!!

Ah yes, nicknames

DS1 - PickleBum, SweetiePlum, Monster, Ben10 (his choice!) MonkeyTrousers, Small, Starfish (when he was tiny)

Orbit - well, obviously Orbit!, Monkey, Baby Brother

Trista - what an absolutely shitty thing to do, feel and for you. It sounds like he isn't ready for the huge responsibility of a child. You sound like you're dealing with it incredibly - I doubt I'd have been able to produce such a well composed post in the same situation. I hope that he still feels able to be a Daddy to Lewin, if that is what you want from him. Or, if you don't want him involved, I hope he buggers off and leaves you in peace!

Congratulations to Lauren and GingerSarah!!!!

Nicknames - Little Frog, because of the way he curls his legs up.

BB - good luck at doctors.

Soon2Be - sorry to hear the bfing is still not going well. Sooooo typical that latch is fine when someone observes - it's always the way! Can you get in touch with a local bf counsellor/ peer supporter/ bf cafe instead of stupid mw? The only thing that works for us is grabbing a 'handful' of nipple and areola between thumb and index finger and flattening it out a bit so that it sort of matches the shape of his mouth, iyswim, and then poking it into his mouth. Hugo very rarely latches on his own without manual intervention on my part. We have tried the biological nurturing/ self-attachment positions but he really doesn't get it! Have you tried feeding whilst lying on your side in bed? That is our other success story!

So though my bfing is going much better than before, still cannot get him to go down in the moses basket. It's not a huge problem at the moment, but will make life quite difficult if we go a-visiting, as a can't imagine he'll settle in travel cot!

Today I am aiming to make thankyou cards for all the lovely gifts people have sent. But first.....a nappy change!

Forgot pom-poms for Meg and Conker!

Oh we also call Kara monkey man because of his hairy back and ears!

Juw I wrote all my thank you cards 10 days ago and they are still sat on my fireplace! hmm!!

Drs gave me some hydrocortisone cream to try - if that doesn't work in a week it may be a mild thrush so need to go back

Springy - you inspired me - I actually bought condoms in advance of doing the deed - although h is limited to 3 times as I am too cheap to buy a bigger pack - bloomin expensive these things!!!

Now ladies, if you were a big tube of lasinoh cream where would you be hiding????

Yay for pain meds Nutty - and lovely small comment!

Right, forget what I said about nights, he's doing it in the day now.
Got him to fall asleep by going for a walk with DS and with Alex in sling, but then tried to put him down so I could have a rest, and he woke up and has been screaming ever since.
Have re-buggered my knee rocking and jiggling him.

hmmm AUld - am sorry I can't be of more help - can you call you mw and see what they suggest? Think someone mentioned a ticking clock to help them calm down - can't think of anything else!

I think I last had it in the bedroom but it's not there and we bring everything down in the morning so could be anywhere!

I am so hungry today - tis ridiculous - have eaten so much!