Due April 2009 - Chapter 32: Shake your pom poms, Shake your pom poms, Shake your pom poms!!!

[BabyBolat]

Hope no one minds I gave Nutty the vote after her epic birth!

Ju - Have you seen this?

wonder how frekkles and tartetatin are getting on?

ds2 woke quite a lot last night so feeling a little spaced out but guess i cant expect anything else just yet.

missed some of the post birth stuff as was concentrating on going into labour, so am sorry if this has been covered before, but anyone any good tips on piles - seems to be the sorest side effect of labour for me.

Good morning all,

Have had very busy weekend so haven't been on much, although have been lurking while feeding unable to type! (BB I don't know how you do it, my one handed typing is so slow I just can't bear the frustration )

Springy so sorry to hear about problems with DH - it does all sound really hard but do bear in mind that you're both going through one of the most stressful times in your lives at the moment and reactions and behaviour are probably not normal, iyswim. I would be grinding my teeth in frustration at your DH right now but he probably is finding it just as hard as you to adjust.

That said, I do think he needs to have a bit of a reality check, either from you or do you have any male friends who might give him some perspective? The reality is that you need practical help and support right now and he needs to be able to do that, and someone needs to spell that out for him. I would almost say shelve all discussions of love and marriage and how it's working until you're through the first twelve weeks of George's life, and then come back to it - these are not normal times and you need to adopt a survivalist attitude. Hope you don't mind me being a bit blunt. And don't feel you can't come on here and moan, that's what we're all here for!

BoffinMum £30k for a nanny with naff all experience? Let's all change careers... We're considering hiring a mother's help type person for a few hours a week when DP is away on business, but that would be on hourly rates and I'm thinking of a newly qualified NNEB or something. Apparently going rate is £8 an hour.

BB I feel your pain about the lasagna - my dad came for dinner last night (he lives abroad so we don't see him often) so I found myself yesterday at 5pm making a bolognese with one hand, holding a very fractious Orbit in the other, and trying to wake DS1 up (asleep on sofa) with my foot so that he wouldn't nap too long and ruin bedtime. Needless to say DS1 didn't like being kicked awake and Orbit was less than keen on being showered in tomato. I always think of putting him in the sling after whatever the job that needed doing is finished....sigh....

That said, neither my dad nor DP had the cheek to criticise my bolognese after all that.

Hi Puzzle - thanks for the link, I'd been looking into that. I was trying to download the WHO charts yesterday, but I couldn't get any of the site to open, so I'll try again today. Unfortunately, I think the newest charts indicate breasty babies usually gain weight more quickly in the first few weeks and then slow down, whereas wee Hugo here is slow now! Ho hum. Maybe he's just destined to be a long skinny beanpole. There are some beanpole genes around on my side, though I only got the height, not the width!

Nutty - ROFL at Coil Radio!

Conker - my best advice for piles is to not let yourself get constipated. Plenty of fibre etc, and some regular lactulose if things seems to be slowing down. Nothing worse than having to force it! Plus, moist toilet tissue is a godsend, IMHO! Have never had to use Anusol or similar, but will help if lots of itching etc, but I'd probably be inclined to get some Anusol HC over-the-counter if I needed anything - we love steroids!

WFH - my little man is working an industrial chemist sort of a look today. Though underneath he has a pale cream vest from Boots, with a discreet bear motif, this is covered up by a plain white Mothercare babygro - practical, but classic. He likes the minimalist look!

The occasional slight yellow stain where Mummy has leaked milk on him just adds to the chemist-in-a-lab-coat feel!

Angus is still completely in white just now as he is still so tiny, he doesnt fit anything else yet - and he looks so cute in them

will graduate into motifs etc once they dont swamp him quite as much.

dh off making scones with ds1 for me to enjoy as i lie on the sofa with ds2 watching trisha - am allowing myself 2 days of crap on telly etc before working towards getting back to normality.

yes, all the stuff we bought for DS1 and which Orbit now wears was white or cream. Sadly this boy throws up so often that we are now using the gifts we didn't really like

Orbit's outfit is sadly unco-ordinated today, we shall have to do better if he's going to hit the catwalks of Paris and Milan...or should that be catcrawls?

Right. I need some more hugs ladies. I literally spent 8 hours listening to the baby scream except when she was on my breasts (which are still so bad...) She screamed all night for no reason, took her to the doc and there's nothing wrong and he (it's a new one again to the others I've seen) says definitely no thrush, no reflux, and I've got no mastitis, thrush, or anything wrong besides a poor latch probably and should go to the bf clinics and/or should probably stop bf and go to bottle, though the baby's still thriving on the breast milk...

Have I mentioned that the rash I had under my breasts has moved got on my arms and legs some how and I itch all over so I'm on drugs for that now too?

Please help me decide what to do.
I don't really want to stop bf because it's good for Meg and far less expensive (and we still have no job). But I'm not sure what else I can handle...
Logical/practical advice, arguments is what I need...

and I have piles
and my father and dh debating bickering all the time is doing my head in

Oh Bleu - (((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))))))

My instinct is to say that a thriving baby is one thing, but she needs a thriving Mummy too!

So, who have you seen about the latch in real life? Have you spent time with an NCT/ LLL etc counsellor? If so, what advice did they give? Did they observe a whole feed wtc?

etc, not wtc!

Re: the cost of formula - with DH out of work, could you claim the SureStart grant to help? If he is claiming Jobseekers Allowance, then I believe you are eligible. If he's not claiming it, perhaps he should!

Also, sorry if you've gone over all the stuff about bf counsellors before - just trying to consolidate in my head where you're at!

oh bleu you poor thing, sending lots of hugs.}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}

you've answered your own question though, you say you don't want to stop. Meg is still thriving so you're not starving her. So you need to work out what you need to be able to survive this rough patch.

My suggestion: Tell DH and your dad to stop bickering RIGHT NOW as it's doing your head in. Are they bickering about anything in particular, or is it about the bf vs ff debate? If so, tell them they're your nipples, so it's your decision .

Take to your bed with Meg, tell them they have to do everything - feed you, change the baby, walk round with her between feeds so you can sleep etc - you need to rest and spend as much time skin to skin with Meg as possible.

I'm going to chuck some questions at you now, sorry if you've already answered them earlier:
Are you using Infacol, have you tried a dummy, will Meg suck on a finger to settle her in between feeds? Have you seen a bf counsellor, from NCT or La Leche for example? I'm sorry if I'm going over old ground. Maybe call a different one, see if someone else can help? Cranial osteopathy? Baby reflexology?

You sound to me like you don't want to give up, but you're exhausted and stressed - so maybe see if you can take the exhaustion and stress out of the equation for a bit, just be waited on hand and foot - is that possible?

I really feel for you, no sleep makes it so difficult to have any perspective whatsoever. Sending even more hugs {}{}{}{}{}{{{}{}{}

been to 3 clinics in area spent 2 feeds worth of time at each
was assessed each time and told various and sometimes contradictory things by the councellos there
also feed in front of 5 or 6 different mw's and told additional sometimes suportive sometimes contrary info...

help! I'm abit scared. My waters went yesterdat at 5 am, laboured all yesterday at home, was hard but felt confident and was managing. Went into hospital at 10pm, contractions consistently 4 in 10, 3cm dilated. Carried on labouring, but contractions never got re established and stopped almost completely about 4am. I've not dilated any more in all that time labouring.

Apparently baby is back to back. I'm in tonnes of pain. I've managed to get away home till 3pm when they want to go back in and put me on the drip to re establish labour because my waters have gone. I'm scared, I don't want the drip, I'm barely coping with the pain just now and I'm only getting about a contraction every 15 minutes. I feel like I'll need an epidural , but I really didn't want that.

Reassurance and advice please. I'm so tired, not slept since yesterday and can't lie down because it hurts too much, scared about going back in.

it'll be ok won't it?

wont take a pacifier anylonger... think she's figured out it's not a boob
finger only works for a minute or two
gave infacol last night and got no sleep...

they're on about everything those two... cars, politics, colic, dummies, latest bit about wether or not i should have a starbucks or not...

Feel for you re: all the contradictory info. Who is it that runs the local clinics? If they are led by local MWs/ HVs, then I would still strongly encourage calling the helplines for NCT/ La Leche, as I've heard such good things about them.

Also, and I'm sorry if this sounds out of order, I wonder if you need to speak to someone about PND? You are having to deal with an awful lot of crap at the moment, and it is easy to be heading down that road and not realise it. This may be especially true if the people around you who also need to be on the lookout for it are distracted and may not notice the signs. I know that all I know of you is a few words on the internet, and that hardly gives me any insight, but TBH I miss the old Bleu, the Bleu who wrote the story about the young princess and who always seemed so bright and breezy, and I am worried for you.

Sorry, that sounds really gloomy and presumptive, but I think its best to say it.

frekkles=n it will be ok! stay calm and think positive. the whole point/focus of your life is to get the baby out and to stay in working order so you can love and cuddle your baby after...

i know the contractions hurt... but when they come imagine as best you can that they're opening the cervix... envision the cervix opening... and the baby moving down

ask for pethidine first...
i managed on pthedine with mine (tho no drip)

Frekkles - hooray for labour starting! You're so near now! It will be okay. All I can say is that now you're so close, do whatever you need to do to get this baby out. I know how rubbish it is when your plans for birth start to go down the pan, but epidural and Syntocinon are not the end of the world! Have you asked the MWs for advice on changing positions/ movements to help get things going again? Have you tried going up and down the stairs sideways? What about a nice bath to ease the pain? Stepping in and out of the bath may help too!

I really didn't want the drip, but for me it was the only thing that was going to get me further dilated!

However baby comes out in the end is the only way they are going to get here! You are so strong, and so close - keep it up! The Fanjo Warriors are with you - tune into Coil FM for some Fanjo Music!