Due April 2009 - Chapter 32: Shake your pom poms, Shake your pom poms, Shake your pom poms!!!

[BabyBolat]

Hope no one minds I gave Nutty the vote after her epic birth!

hi Springy, talk to me about BF...what's happening?

What about it, MM? The whole dairy thing? How are you?

just wondered how it was going, we gave DD1 lactose-free milk after a while and worked wonders. have only skimmed thread though..

got to sort dinner - back in a bit x

Basically I've come to the conclusion that at least large quantities of dairy affect him - I'm not sure how much lesser quantities do yet. He's a really demanding feeder anyway & I think is currently having a growth spurt as well. Today & yesterday I have spent literally more time attached to him than not. I'm getting really fed up with BFing, but do want to continue if I can.

He's been putting on slightly more than 1oz per day on average recently, so he's hardly suffering - but it's absolutely exhausting me at the moment. It's not even a real BF issue like Bleu's, for example - it's very easily solved & although the prolonged contact is making me sore it's not agony.

Frekkles: both mine have been 10 days late, and it feels like forever! Sounds like things might be on the move, though. Keep everything crossed (except your legs...)

Typing as I catch up so may be a bit disjointed!

Yay Conker - go go go

Frekkles, will be soon hun!

Nutty - We're still kinking and Kara is a month old tomorrow - mainly me losing my rag, DH complaining about things and just making everything seem more difficult - e.g he is currently sanding the wall and has now decided that the plaster on the ceiling is not right so we need to do some wood thing (we are not having it btw!)

Kara your night last night with Tianha sounds like the past 3 hours with Kara - he has not stopped crying, not hungry, not wet, not sleeping JUST screaming - (while we were visiting people) - annoyingly DH came in and took him and he shut up straight away! blardy typical - aibu to be annoyed at this? Well unreasonable or not I just cried for 20 minutes because of it!

Springy your kinks are also very similar to ours - 'are you deaf', 'stop waking him up', 'can you just help me change his nappy while he projectile poos, I have cream all over my hands and he has turned himself in to some kind of contortionist!'

Oooh PMT - me tooo! seriously have had the worst menstrual cramps for the past two days, feeling a bit emotional and grumpy and having pre-period wind (sorry if TMI) Was 4 weeks yesterday so would be due any time now!

I am so stubborn re being told what to do that DH has learned to tell me to do the opposite so I actually do what he wants me to do!

Today has been ok but honestly think this long weekend is just going to be crap! Managed to clean kitchen and bathroom this morning then had to go to my parents to pick up some paint, had lunch, went to pick up DH's home gym thing (yes because that is what's important now!) came home, Kara poo'd all over me and the carpet (DH found this very funny!), went straight to friends house (late) where Kara screamed blue murder so had to leave as he just wouldn't settle and got home to DH sanding, he told me all the problems and how rubbish x and y was (note he hadn't closed the doors so now kitchen is covered in crap) and Kara has continued to scream! I have since told DH that I do not want to be left alone with Kara tonight - I should make dinner but I don't want to so I am not going to - DH will not be impressed!

Right - Just off to read ginger's story!

Nutty, not Kara!

Sure it's just a bad couple of days... Fingers crossed back to normal tomorrow!

Hi there

Bleu, know exactly what you mean by 'if only I could freeze her in mouth wide open position' - Hazel never opens her mouth wide enough for long enough, and neither did DD1. What I do is pull her lower lip / jaw down with my finger while she attaches and it helps, you can also gently open their mouths wider once they are attached.

Conker - yay for labour! Frekkles - sounds like it's not far off for you AND you've certainly made the most of your last few baby free days!

BB/Springy, those are exactly the arguments I had with DH first time round. The men do learn but it takes a while but some of it was me overreacting, too, with hindsight. Not saying you are just don't expect too much of them - one of the biggest learnings for me was that ultimately, it's mum looking after the children and the men need very clear instructions if they are to help.

FWIW my period didn't come back until DD1 was 6-7 months old so don't panic just yet

open their mouths wider once they're attached? hahaha... Meg is the most stubborn baby (payback my dad says) and locks her jaw when I try to do this (the first time she did it she locked it closed - I actually screamed which startled her enough to help me get her off) We have lovely escapades here

Oh god Bleu poor you - sorry wasn't much help there was I?

It is good advice actually otherwise It worked for my sister for instance.
I think the biggest problem with the latch is that Meg and I are both stubborn and want things our own way...and so we're sometimes at odds even though ultimately our goal is the same...

It's difficult working with people (a baby) who always think they're right

Oh Bleu - you are right - seriously they are stubborn little beggers! Earlier Kara was headbutting me because (horrible mummy that I am) I was trying to soothe him and stop him getting upset!

So bleu, are you still persevering? You really must have a high pain threshold!

I don't...I'm just stubborn...not going to let something a 20th of my weight get the better of me!

(though my hope is she'll not stay a 20th for long...)

I have a very strange way of bfing, which works for us..most of the time i keep both fingers around the breast, sort of squeezing gently into her mouth. seems to help with latch, but does mean I'm two handed

I started doing it to help at beginning, and because DD couldn;t breathe out of one side (also have biiiiiiiiiiig boobies)

In the middle of catching up but some initial posts ...

Go Conker!!!! How exciting!!!!

Brettgirl and Springy, I was 19 when I had DD. To be brutally honest, I reckon I did a better job of motherhood than half my dysfunctional NCT group, who had waited until their 40s to have their first, and who spent their lives in a big flap about it all. Clearly I am very much a social pariah having a fourth kid at 41 as well.

Nutty, that sounds as though it was tough. It is hard adjusting. I have been getting overtired because I have been doing nearly all the babycare and all the nights so DH can go to work properly, and today I just conked out because I was exhausted. But then I missed lunch and was too busy cluster feeding Felix to eat, but nobody got me anything, so I had to eat crap, and then I got upset because it wasn't healthy food which means I won't lose weight and stay 15 stone forever, etc etc ... DH has promised to cook me steak tonight though to make up for it (I have spotted two man steaks in the fridge, of the kind cartoon characters put on their eyes after a fight!)

Bleu, I wish I could wave a wand and make the bf better for you. If only you were nearer, and then I could be a bit more supportive in person. xx

Frekkles, you're getting there. Very soon now. I just know.

Frekkles - you are not alone! eight days over, two sweeps down and nothing doing...booked in for induction on Friday. If the baby decides to make an appearance before then I will be really surprised. It feels like some of the babies on this thread are almost starting nursery, they have been around so long!!

BB, George always settles better for DH than for me. & DH frequently reminds me of it. Not to be spiteful, but just because he's proud of himself. I've managed to resist killing him so far, but it won't be long.

Totally get the not wanting to be left alone with him thing. I keep seriously considering just going out. Maybe staying elsewhere overnight. I won't, because we have no expressed or formula milk in & it would be a bit cruel to them both. But it's far more tempting than it should be.

Schulte, 6-7 months would be good!

Bleu, the locking her jaw closed sounds awful

I've just cried down the phone to my parents. I hope I'm more together by the time I meet the HV on Thursday or I'll get severely quizzed. & DH is being really unhelpful. I think it's that he doesn't know how to deal with me right now - he's just ignoring my upset instead of trying to ease it.

Must just add we have had details of a really, really lovely nanny from a good agency a friend recommended, and I am starting to think that somewhere out there I might find childcare I actually trust, and consequently be less nervous and exhausted about it once I go back to work than I have been for the past few years. Quality of life might actually happen!!

Interesting you hould say that maths as that's what I do..and I've got 'yelled' at by various mw for doing so... but I likewise have such big breasts and Meg's mouth is quite small so it's one of the only ways I can get her on... though I do try to let off after the breast has gone a bit flacid...

I do thank everyone for all the ideas and support. I actually have found it easier since I've been able to express myself to you guys without the raised eyebrows and frowning looks i've got at the clinics...
thanks again ladies