Due April 2009: Episode 22 - Plug Popping, Ball Bouncing and Cervix Searching the preparations continue...

[SmuttyNuttyTaff]

chose this one hope nobody minds another quick thread!! the last one is a record i think at a day and a half!!!

I'm just going on your height and your fundal height being higher than mine Juwes

I expect I'm tempting fate, yours will be 7lb and mine will be 10lb lol!

My MIL maintains that my husband who was much larger than his sister and her first was the easier of the two births.

BB, it's a bit scary to the casual observer that you're finishing work on Friday! It's one of those things where you're never going to finish - & all of a sudden you are. How much time has passed?! How close are these babies now?! I'm a bit taken aback!

I'm a bit ashamed that I'm 4th most prolific poster & I wasn't even here right from the beginning. & my posts are often quite epic

Boff, razor burn's horrible. I've done that a few times. To the point where I now use Venus Breeze razors (with the soapy bits on the edges) so it's virtually impossible to do it again. I'm such an idiot that I can't just stop being an idiot, I have to put measures in place

& have we just discovered a kinky side to BB with her like of pain? Ooer

Puzzle, you're releasing my inner geek - I wish I could be all nonchalant & not look at the stats, but I'm really quite interested I'm also very surprised at how prolific BB has been, considering she's still meant to be working! (I see she's realised this for herself, in horror )

Ooh, a show for bronze! Welcome to the club! There's no business like show business & all that

Ooooooooh, & Boff! Show & nesting! This'd better be it!

My friend's having her abortion today (I'm now sure that she's not happy with the decision, but is acting because she, & I quote, 'wouldn't really have anybody's encouragement' ) & another of my very good friends has just found out that his parents are splitting up. Completely out of the blue.

Happy Monday everyone

Springy, oooooh tough one, can you text your friend and say, you have my encouragement and actually all you need is your own one - I remember you saying your parents weren't that keen on you going ahead with it at first and look how excited they are now - she knows all this yes?

Such a tough one, she really will need your support for the next few weeks which will be tough on you!!

I know - I remember posting about being 10 weeks away and the countdown really beginning - technically it's now 6.5 days away!!! 6.5 days - so at the most I have 20 days until I am induced if all else fails!!

Hmmm, brioche anyone? Lemon and orange yoghurt? Having an extended breakfast here in between wiping down DD's old buggy, car seat, changing mats etc.

Springy for your friends.

Springy- not sue you can call it a show

BB- 6 days come on, my moneys on you so get on with it

Shulte- sounds lovely but my stomachs shrunk. I havent eaten a proper meal since saturday lunch. I need to do little and often but don't fancy anything

Springy- I would send her a text saying 'I hope everything goes ok for you today.'

Off to buy last minute baby things! Yay! see you later!

I've just texted her what is probably a really preachy text that she'll probably resent me for, but I actually think that I owe it to her, after 9 years of close friendship, to speak up if she's about to make such a massive mistake.

All of what I said was in direct response to her tenuous reasons for 'needing' to do it. It's not that bad, is it? I said:

'Don't do anything just because you think you'd be lacking 'encouragement'. It's not too late to change your mind. Life is what happens when you're busy making other plans & all that. It's not what you intended, but you COULD do this if you wanted to. You know I'm not at all anti-abortion. I know that sometimes it's right. But I feel uncomfortable seeing you do this when I'm really not convinced that you want to. I don't want you to regret it. I remember sitting & crying hysterically because I thought that I needed to have an abortion. That I'd not been with [DH] long enough, that he'd leave me & I'd be a single mother from the start. That nobody would support my decision to have the baby, that it'd mean living in poverty forever, that I was too young... I MADE that decision to have an abortion. But I changed my mind. & I don't love this baby any less than I would if I hadn't had those thoughts.'

I shan't push harder than that, but it's driving me mad that she's quite obviously really unhappy with the situation. She texted me this morning to ask how serious the 'do not use if pregnant' warning on her nasal spray was, because she didn't want to ignore it if it was going to hurt the baby. She's meant to be having an abortion this afternoon - it makes no sense! I could shake her

She's done all sorts of weird things to her justifications, too. Like in her head, I was about 20 weeks pregnant when I found out, so it was pretty much too late to make a decision I've tried to point out that it wasn't like that at all, but I don't think it makes a difference at this point.

& yes, I remember you posting about 10 weeks & then me being envious that you were down to single figures As if you're down to less than 1 week now! How exciting!

Have a raisin then Bronze

She wants that baby and is scared.
I would risk that friendship and tell her outright not to do it. Good text though

bronze, I started off sending her a text this morning saying 'Thinking of you xxx', because what else can I say when I'm on the verge of giving birth & she doesn't want the abortion she's booked in for? But when she started asking about things that are safe to use in pregnancy, I had to say something. I'm annoying like that

Schulte, I'm of your extended breakfast! I had a bowl of bitesize Shredded Wheat. Rock on

KittyCat, I hope you get lots of lovely things I'm going out in a bit to do similar. Hurrah!

No springy it isn't that bad at all and it may well be what she needs. The nasal spray thing is just bizarre and it makes me really that she is probably going to do something she really regrets. However, she is also not your responsibility and as an adult has to make her own mistakes.

Springy that IS odd about the nasal spray - poor thing. It really must be difficult for her. And you, of course, trying to help and support her.

Morning

Trista - Very nice! i love craft fairs what a lovely lady

BB - nearly there sweety!!!! OMG so close now!! >

Puzzle - eek!!! i dont know if i should be extremely pleased at being in the lead for gobbyness or embarrased

Boffin - OMG!! YOWWWWWWWIE!! ((hugs)) dont know what to suggest Hooray for plug!!!!

Purple ((hugs)) for the pain. £40 is pretty reasonable for a massage

Bronze - hooray for the show!!

Shulte - i am the same as you, no signs of anything happening at all BOOOO!!

Ginger - yay for your last week at work too!!

B52 - yay for your last week at work & BH too!!

Springy - "Theres no business like show bussiness"!!! ROFL that has got to be our next thread title!!!! Genius!! So ((hugs)) xxx i think thats a good text tbh and she should see it for what it is which is really considerate and careing xx

WILL SOMEONE PLEASE HAVE THEIR BABY NOW!!!!!! Please!

Or maybe the nasal spray thing means that she isn't going to go through with it.

Ok springy I think that message is absolutely fine - in face spot on, perhaps another one saying, 'you know I am here for you whatever you decide I just want to make sure you are ok'. There is nothing else you can do - she clearly doesn't want to go through with it - (you wouldn't worry about nasal spray the day of an abortion if you were weren't considering keeping it)

bronze my tummy too - could only manage one fahitta last night - one!!!! was barely worth making them

Oh yes I vote for show business thread title!!!

LOL smutty - I actually thought I wasn't too bad on this because I sleep earlier than all of you and work full time and I AM SECOND!! Boff is just behind tho!! I average 100 posts which is 10% of every thread!!!

I know - & she was telling me as well about how there's a 3% chance of the pregnancy continuing after the abortion & how if she was part of that 3% that she'd keep the baby. It's like she wants the baby, but can't be bothered to fight for it. She'd rather just go along with what's 'expected' of her.

I do understand that. We're from backgrounds where a lot's expected of us in terms of academic success & so on. We went to a really high-pressure school where if you didn't get 95%+ you'd be asked 'what went wrong?!'. It's difficult to reconcile that with the idea of having a baby & going through uni, perhaps not doing quite so well as a result. Not only because of your own expectations, but those of everyone else as well.

When I applied for uni, it was taken as read that I'd get a First. Without a fuss. & I certainly wasn't the one pushing that belief - it's just what people expect. So when I found out I was pregnant, it was expected that I wouldn't have the baby - that I wouldn't jeopardise that success.

That's what's happening to her. People assume that she'll do one thing & she may not want to, but it's just easier to do what they want than it is to stick her head above the parapet & say 'no, I'm having this baby'. Of course in the long term what's easiest now may not be what's easiest to live with. But she can't seem to see that

BB - lol 10% i dont even want to know what my percentage is

Springy - its a case of being able to see the wood from the trees then really, cant be easy with hormones and heart battling against your brain you can only hope that she does whats right for her now unfortunately you have done what you can for the time being the rest is up to her xx

Has she not had any counselling?

She's going to go ahead with it. I knew she would. I'm okay with it, I think. I'd feel horrific about her decision if I'd not spoken up, but I have. I've not let her down - not only have I told her that I think that she needs to reconsider, I'm sitting here setting an example as to how it can be done. If she still wants to go ahead & have the abortion, then that's her choice & I can only try to help pick up the pieces.

From a 100% selfish point of view, not related to my feelings on her decision but the efefcts of it, I hope that she's not going to come & keep hanging around my newborn crying about her abortion. I know that that sounds awful (it is awful) but I don't want him tainted by her regrets... Does that make sense? I feel like such a bitch for saying it, but I can really see that it's likely to happen.

& bronze, no - she's had no counselling. She's had the scientific chat about what'll happen, but nothing emotional. I actually think that there should be a legally enforced period of time (even just a week, say) between finding out that you're pregnant & being allowed to have an abortion (except perhaps in extreme cases like after a rape). It's insane that it can all be done in a couple of days - it would've been sooner than this if the weekend hadn't been in the way. I know that sometimes people just need it to be over, but a week wouldn't make a difference to someone who was confident in their decision, surely?

What you get in your degree isn't that devastating. I got a 2.2 (which in truth is what I deserved ) and tbh it stopped me going into a job I wouldn't have liked anyway. I found my degree just so boring, I didn't mean to be slack but just switched off from it.

Once you're at work what you do there is more important and I'm doing an MA now, which this time round am actually enjoying and therefore doing reasonably well in.

It doesn't sound like you are being a bitch at all. FWIW isn't she more likely to avoid being around your newborn?

Springy - oh ((hugs))xx you did your best, which is all you can do, ultimately it was always going to be her decision.

and your not being a bitch it's a natural concern to have xx

It was always expected that I would do well and I got straight As and a 1st but I have been working now in the industry I chose for almost 5 years and I can say without a shadow of a doubt no one gives a rats a*s about how well I did at school. My experience and published works are all that matters for them now, yes it's a stepping stone in but as soon as you get to A levels, GCSEs are forgotten, once your in uni, A Levels are forgotten and once you are in a job uni results are forgotten - within a few months.

It is a shame Springy and you are not being a bitch - I would feel the same way and it's important that you don't allow her to bring you down post baby - there has to be a balance between you being there for her and her being there for you!!

Nutty its 17% for you on average - that is almost 1/5 of the entire conversation!!!