Due April 2009: Episode 21 - RLT officials have stern words with the April mums after stocks plummet!!

[PuzzleRocks]

Thanks to Nutty for all the thread suggestions including this one. I hope no one minds but I picked this one in honour of the brilliant race commentary we had from Nuts and Frekkles the other night. Hopefully we will get some more.

BB they had MOT & service, the service would have been about £100

Oh OK that would make sense!!

For some reason we're having it serviced as well. I don't know why. I don't know a lot about cars, really.

& it's so unfair because I never do / have anything nice for me anymore. I never buy myself a sandwich or anything whilst I'm out, because I can't justify it. But he'll skip breakfast at home & then eat 2 lunches whilst he's out to make up for it, you know?

I even go around turning all the lights off that we're not using in the flat because I don't want to pay for the electricity for no reason. I wait ages for buses which I can use my tram pass on instead of paying bus fare. So on & so on.

& you're all talking about getting hair cuts & stuff, & I can't do any of that, because I can't afford to. It's not really a big deal, but I really wanted these last few weeks to be really nice & have lots of meals out & buy myself a couple of nice things & get my hair done & stuff, like everyone else in the world seems to be able to. & I can't do any of it, but he can just throw money away

stary, I'm always opening things onto my bump. I have 3 huge scratches across it where I've caught the corners of cupboard doors, & I'm always walking into the edges of tables & things. I think we need bump whiskers

Also, because he has no concept of money, we're having to pay rent with our wedding gift money. Which we'll never be able to justify setting aside again. So money that was specifically given to us with the instruction 'get something nice - not necessarily something that you need!' is being spent on rent. That really upsets me in a sentimental, girly way.

Springy if it's any consolation I can't really afford to have my hair done either - it just means less gets paid off the wedding so we are in debt for longer!! ((hugs)) - have you spoken to him about it at all? what did he say about the car stuff this morning?

Maybe we can all pop to Nuttys post baby and she can sort our hair out while we communally babysit!

Springy I completely get that too - sorry you are having a rubbish time today!

Bear in mind that this is after he was given an unexpected £700 grant by his uni at the end of last month. In fact, I think it came through on our wedding day. So the 20th Feb - less than a month ago. & there's none of it left. & believe me, I'm not rolling around in nice things which would justify its disappearance.

Oh, Springy, don't be sad! Go and treat yourself to something small - just something simple, like a tasty sandwich, some nice cookies. I know how hard the trying to crack-down on spending is, but you have to be able to have small treats here and there. I've just cancelled a Direct Debit of £2 per month to Cancer Research, in the name of saving money, and this morning the Next Directory that DH has ordered turns up, which costs £5 a pop! The menfolk don't seem to understand how not spending £1 now will make any difference, but it all adds up!

Rest assured I will not be having my haircut until my friend from the US comes over in May, when I will get her to trim the ends for free!

I've only spoken to him about the car stuff on MSN so far because he's at uni. I'm hoping to have calmed down by the time he's back, because I'm crying at the moment I just got the basics out of him & then told him that we'd talk about it later because I don't want to fall out about it over MSN - it's always a lot easier to misinterpret tones of voice or whatever.

I'm meant to be going out for coffee with NCT people this afternoon, but I don't think I will. Partly I can't justify spending £5+ on drink & cake (although at this point, what does it matter?) & partly my leg still hurts (but is better than last night), but I'd have to get a tram & then a bus there & I don't think I can face it

So where does he say that the money went?

Money's a pain in the arse in relationships, my DH is a hoarder and hyperventilates about spending anything.

Springy - come to my house i'm sure dh would be happy to give you a snip and if its any consolation i cant have my hair done either (it's driving me mad!!!) xx ((hugs))

What's his take on it all springy?

Do you have a joint account? How much control do you have over what he can spend? DHs recently departed Grandma had left him a Post Office account with £600 in - I have baggsied that to go into a Child Trust Fund so that it can't get spent on stupid stuff.

did the excersise & massage stuff help at all? x

Schulte, it's definitely the Birkis, it makes German girls like the princess out of the Princess and the Pea story in relation to feet.

All, off to hairdresser's in a minute. Nutty has carefully coached me in how to get what I want for once, so I am hopeful of good results and no wierd stripey effect. May even post a photo later.

BB you don't need to read baby books but I would read a breastfeeding book, tbh.

Juwes, don't fret about preparations. If you do not feel the urge then it is too early anyway. Packet of nappies, packet of maternity pads and a couple of babygros will do in extremis - nothing else required. Nursing bras not required for 48 hours usually.

Please go out for that coffee - you'll feel so much better, and you need to be feeling good at the moment!

I'd get a taxi if we weren't in such a mess, because it's not even that far & I'm feeling miserable enough to justify it in normal circumstances. But not today's, I don't think. & I'd probably just drive them mad with my face all all afternoon.

Ju, the Next Directory costs £5 now?! I remember it being £3 & being outraged - what a rip off!

oh springy don't cry and do go this afternoon if you want too but not if you don't feel like it!! it's such a horrible thing to have to deal with now!

Why not just send the Next directory back? It's a complete waste of money because he can access it online.

Springy - if you could have one little thing for you right now what would it be? (something easily puchased)

Boffin - good luck!!

Try not to get too down Springy . Money totally burns a hole in DHs pocket too and he's always buying stuff that we can't really afford. Does my head in completely because I'm the main breadwinner and will have to take a salary cut while on maternity leave (and things are tight already). I'm also a Scot and spent around 10 years as a student at uni (went down the academic route) so I'm automatically quite frugal with the cash! .

You've only got a few weeks to go, so you should definitely treat yourself as much as you can! It's not fair if your DH is just spending money willy-nilly on himself e.g. having 2 lunches, when you can't even buy yourself one nice lunch! I was very cheeky last week - I asked DH to lend me 20 euros to go into town, since I didn't have any cash, and I decided to spend it on having a very yummy cake with hot chocolate in a cafe and then I bought a face pack for myself! . He can't complain because I gave him back the change!!

We did go through where the money went. It's all bits & pieces. Mostly he takes cash out of ATMs & fritters it away on food & stuff. It only came up when I found that he'd spent £60 on an external hard drive (when I have one that I told him he could use) & I sarcastically said that it was nice that he had money to spare, because I certainly didn't.

He's not doing anything terrible with it. He's not buying things for other women, or hiding a gambling problem or anything like that. I know it could be worse. It's just so frustrating.

We have a joint account, but also individual ones. The joint account is designed to just pay out direct debits so we don't need to worry about them (following the repeated bank charges he managed to incur a few months ago) & we don't use it for general spending. At least I can make sure that the fixed monthly outgoings will continue to go out, I suppose.

Boffin, I like the Princess and the Pea analogy

I bought that breastfeeding book you linked to last night (I was obviously mistaken when I said I never bought myself anything - £2.76 on a BF book! ) Does that make me a teacher's pet?

Have fun at the hairdresser's You'd better post a photo!

arrrrrrghhhhh just got off the conference call and my boss pretty much took credit for everything I have done and led the whole thing - I may as well not have been on the call and had to turn the MW away and everything - now I have a headache (sorry springy to rant while you are having a crap day!)

Springydoo, you have to treat yourself to something - really even if it is just something little - can you give him a cash budget for the week - like ok you can take XX out on a monday but that is all we have all week?

I really should buy that book - right off to find it...

Try encouraging him to do as much as poss on Switch/ Maestro/ Whatever because then at least you can keep an eye on all those £3/4/5 lunches and so on. If I have cash, I have no idea where it goes. Have had the same problem with the recurrent bank charges - don't know how they do it.

I'm the worst person for budgeting advice as I have no idea how to do it myself, though its one of the things I've been trying to sort whilst on ML. Lots of people have said this website is really useful, though I couldn't get on with it myself.

I am not dressed yet. Is that bad? Also, is it bad that I am grazing on the contents of the fridge and have just eaten two cold sausages, the remains of a bowl of tuna mayo and a yogurt? Is that lunch, do you think?