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Due April 2009: Episode 20 - Angst Ridden Fruity Fornication

1022 replies

SmuttyNuttyTaff · 13/03/2009 22:31

sorry couldnt help myself

on the last episode of april 2009 mums to be ..........

OddEyes & Babypringle are possibly going into labour Very Exciting!

Kaz & Skiingone - posted birth stories

lots of Fruity Smut, I was caught by the Fruit Fuzz and restrained

Lots more smut.......smutt...smutt

BB & WFH still havent popped (though we now have a birthing ticket system) We have to wait our turn

Boffin's AP causes more greif, beatings were handed out to a soundtrack

More commune talk

Morphine chasers with lots of soundtracks that take you back to the good ol' days

Springy & Suprise have gone to Brum for the weekend.

contractions/BH's/ movement/ailments aplenty

sorry if i have missed anything out ....

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
SmuttyNuttyTaff · 16/03/2009 21:20

crash was a fab film, uncomfortable, but good none the less.

cant remember it that well, so cant comment on the eroticism

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SmuttyNuttyTaff · 16/03/2009 21:36

ok, sorry, come back now please???? i'm not scary really >

ok will go for a bath ........

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Juwesm · 16/03/2009 21:43

Still lurking Nutty. Been distracted by ANTM.

SmuttyNuttyTaff · 16/03/2009 22:14

ahhh what cycle are you on?

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BoffinMum · 16/03/2009 23:00

Re: Old food. We had a family box of chocolate Nesquick powder we used at the German house from my first visit as a toddler in 1969 until I pointed out it had the manufacturing date on the bottom in 1995. Then my grandfather made me throw it out.

Shame. Still tasted the same.

I am still catching up with posts as I have been down at the hospital since the last post. I have developed a big lump in my groin and the GP wanted to rule out a femoral hernia, which could have been v serious (although also incredibly rare). However it was OK - probably just a big lymph node because my legs are not very mobile and therefore not draining properly.

Had to hang around at A and E a bit, but otherwise total VIP treatment on grounds of being so pg. Own proper room (not just cubicle) with en suite shower room! Lots of smiley nurses looking after me!! Even receptionists lovely!! Attractive Asian surgeon prodded my groin thoroughly!! I could get used to all this.

BoffinMum · 16/03/2009 23:03

Mumble, you have to be cruel if the medicine is important and you have tried everything else. You pinch their nose and they are forced to open their mouth. You then squirt the medicine in and then make them close their mouth and keep it shut until they swallow, all the while feeling horribly guilty and apologising profusely. This is the only way for the determined toddler.

SmuttyNuttyTaff · 16/03/2009 23:06

Boffin - lol at getting used to groin prodding Glad you're ok boff ((hugs)) xx

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BoffinMum · 16/03/2009 23:19

You realise you filthy, filthy gels have now probably scared Conker off?? She came on in all innocence looking for birth announcements, and you had to get onto the topic of bottoms. Now as we all know they don't do bottom nookie in Scotland at all. You have probably really upset her now.

SmuttyNuttyTaff · 16/03/2009 23:20

we said sorry!!

bet frekkles does!! lol

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BoffinMum · 16/03/2009 23:23

Frekkles is a decent lassie and has only to my knowledge mentioned the missionary position on our threads.

SmuttyNuttyTaff · 16/03/2009 23:23
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BoffinMum · 16/03/2009 23:25

Anyway their poor little bottoms are far too cold for any of that nonsense.

SmuttyNuttyTaff · 16/03/2009 23:27

its a bottom warming technique surely???

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SmuttyNuttyTaff · 16/03/2009 23:28

stokes a fire of sorts anyhoo

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SmuttyNuttyTaff · 16/03/2009 23:40

right thats enough smut from me for one day

BOffin - glad everything is ok, and you got treated well at the hosp hope that it goes down soon xx

Nighty night xx

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LuLuBai · 17/03/2009 07:24

Morning all - I wisely remembered to eat breakfast before logging on to catch up. Still not going to look at the pegging link as DD is next to me eating her breakfast.

I'm sure Conker, Frekkles and all the other Scottish lassies will cope with the bottom chat.

Lets remeber that when Springy was going through a sexual lull a while back it was Conker who was first to offer her personal recommendation of the rampant rabbit. She's not all that pure & innocent! (sorry Conker)

Glad you had a good groin prodding Boffin.

frekkles · 17/03/2009 07:27

gosh ladies

BoffinMum · 17/03/2009 07:30

Conker and a rampant rabbit?????
This can't be true. Was it a tartan one, I wonder?

LuLuBai · 17/03/2009 07:37

Aye Boff. No doubt it has its own wee kilt for formal occasions.

mathsmummy27 · 17/03/2009 07:39
Smile
BoffinMum · 17/03/2009 07:49

But does it have a sporran???

LuLuBai · 17/03/2009 07:59

Boffin - some very rude thoughts invade my mind at the mention of the sporran but it's too early in the morning to say the out loud.

Just thinking about the alleged influence of full moon on birth and wondering if we were all going to start popping on 9 April so I started comparing full moon dates with postnatal clubs baby lists. Seems no correlation whatsoever! For example feb 09 only managed to produce 1 baby on full moon.

PuzzleRocks · 17/03/2009 08:09

Good morning

Ju - There is something sleazy about James Spader that I love. Have you seen Secretary?

Boff - Thank god it's not a hernia. Is it uncomfortable?

frekkles · 17/03/2009 08:10

I've not had experience of my own toddler obviously, but I have got 10 years experience of working as a support worker with adults with learning disabilities and challenging behaviour , and I've always seen a correlation between the strategies that help toddlers and help these vunerable adults. Apologies if I'm about to teach anyone to suck eggs here....

Giving medicine is always hard. The way I approach it is through a all encompassing attitude to my relationship with the person. In that I am there to help them and once I have their trust over a period of time, then I make it clear that in the rhings we do together there are things that are negotiable and things that aren't and I want to help them understand that so they don't get stressed. Medicine is a non negotiable.

The first few times that you the person is refusing to take the medicine it is horrible and you do feel like you're hurting them, but you have to do it for their own good and you have to make them understand that you aren't ever going to give up regardless of how much they create. So sometimes to begin with it takes literally hours of trying.

So staying calm and firm, attempting to give the medicine in a strong and unemotional way, just calmly stating what you are going to do and why and that you won't give up because it's very important. And then withdrawing to give them time to calm down each time they refuse and kick off after calmly and firmly saying that you will not spend time with them while they are angry and refusing until the medicine is taken, so you'll be back in 10 minutes (or whatever timescale is appropriate) to try again. Advice them on how to calm down (deep breaths etc). Then leave them to settle.

Then return when they have calmed down and try again, and repeat the same routine again and again. Don't ever get into an argument or big conversation, don't get angry or emotional, just be calm and firm. Don't feed into the stress they feel, just keep going trying calmly and withdrawing when necessary. don't change strategy, save any praise or fun for when they've cooperated.

It's important to have the different between the way you interact when they are cooperating (like the sun's shining) and when they aren't (like it's gone behind a cloud). You aren't ever nasty or cross with them, it's simply that until they do as you say that you can't be smily and fun, you can only be calm and firm (but still caring).

Then when eventually they cooperate (and they will. even if it takes hours of two people trying. I defy any toddler to be more stubborn than someone with severe autism or schizophrenia) , then praise them to the heavens and keep bringing up how well they did and how proud you are of them. Act like the sun has come out and make sure they feel the difference.

They will be really relieved that you have taught them to have a way out of the stress they feel. It may feel that at the time you're being horrible and breaking them, but you aren't, you're helping them learn how to deal with stress and anxiety of things they don't like. making it safe and enabling them to develop skills in coping with difficult situations in life where they can't get their own way. You're not being nasty.

Make sure that in other situations that aren't so important that they get their own way sometimes and understand the difference. Always tell them that it's because it isn't as important as medicine (and other non negotiables).

This approach takes lots of time and patience and support for you in dealing with the stress and emotion of the process , but does work and it means you are teaching them skills and strategies for coping with life.

I hope I haven't just totally patronised everybody there!

frekkles · 17/03/2009 08:17

rude thoughts.... hmmmm.....

must admit that on saturday night when john got back from his rugby piss up, even though I was well fed up with him and feeling like death warmed up, I still got a wide on seeing him standing by the bed in nothing but his kilt. then the whisky breath and snoring kicked in ....

and incidentally we did really well last night. Got out the calendar and behaved like grown ups, compromising on our plans for the next month

hope you're all ok today. I'm still poorly. pah

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