Due April 2009: Episode 17 - We're off of work and ready to push, time for DH's to attend to that bush!!

[BabyBolat]

Inspired by our Smutty x

I brought up the idea of DPs 'lack of support' with my Dh and he said MTFU (man the F* up) and he's not very, um, 'manly' I would say in many ways being the sensitive type. Maybe sit down and each write down what you see as the pro and cons of being there/ being separate. It may help open the discussion up without causing distress. I certainly understand the desire of our DPs not to see us in pain or 'out of it' but at the same time we need them sometimes too... Try to find a compromise I would say.

men are very odd things when it comes to pregnancy and childbirth.

i dont want to be a man champion, honest, please feel free to flame me.

we as women are going through massive change and yes we are doing all the work and the most important job in the world. (i personally think we're all doing bloody fantastic considering the nightmares we're all going through)

men find it really hard. i think due to role reversal??? they are essentially supposed to look after us and be all cavemen providers etc. They dont feel they can do anything during preg and birth to a degree and sometimes even then i think they feel overwhelmed and useless and like they shouldnt be there. With all the changes we go through i think they feel a bit lost as to who we are too, like they dont know us anymore and have to be different towards this "new woman".

try and sit down with them and get an idea of whats going through their heads if you can as they bottle alot up and i think they are possibly as (if not more)confused and unsettled as we are.

I completely agree Nutty.

Nutty, very wise about the tendency to bottle things up. I am wary of seeming to try to instigate some kind of huge sharing session as it just makes DP feel got at sometimes. I wish I could be more use.

TOTALLY SEPARATE RANDOM QUESTION FOR PARENTS OF TODDLERS: does the police car in Postman Pat go "nee naw" in an old school stylee, or is it a US-style, present day type siren noise?

thank you!

gingersarah - i just tried to find out not having much luck though,. sorry

I think DH is being very good but then it is his first and he doesn't know what to expect - I am however really worried about how he will be in the actual labour because:

1. He hates to see me in pain and won't know what to do with himself if I am upset or (worst case scenario) something happens
2. I know I am going to be horrible and will say things I dont mean and he will be upset by it.
3. I am a bit paranoid about baby stealing (don't know why) so have asked DH to make sure the baby is never left alone in the hospital but I know he will find it hard if he has to leave me.
4. He has never ever experienced anything like this, nor does he know anyone that has done it so he has no idea what he is facing!!!!

BB he will be fine i'm sure xx

Hi Smutty, don't worry. It is in an ep called "Runaway train" I have just found out - off to youtube!

Oooh BB ditto (not about the baby stealling though...you're a nutter Anyone steals my baby and they will find out why Americans have such a bad name)

Gingersarah- ah the only thing i could find was a really funny sweary version of postman pat glad you have found it

Sorry didn't mean to post and run. Had to collect Ds2 and DD and then feed them.

I agree about them bottling things up. I've actually done quite well dh wise getting him to tell me that he doesn't want to be there because of what happened last time.

hang on got to sort dd will pot this then finish because dont want dh to read it

Wouldn't it be nice sometimes if people would just make decisions for you...like your parents used to do for you...and you were never the wiser?

I can kind of understand where he is coming from too as last time was extremely scary. I was put under sobbing, I can't imagine how he felt out in the corridor waiting. Also I know it must be (can think of the right word) very importnant thing for him to go as far as to say he won't be there as he was with me all through both dss births and constantly by my side with all the troubles with dds pregnancy. He was my rock even down to bathing me when I was too weak and fighting (words not fists) for me when I really need it.

But at the same time because hes my rock during these times I'm wondering how I would feel without him there.

Anyway fingers crossed I'll go naturally. No need to cross bridges before we get to them.
Thank you for letting me whinge I think I'm jut having one os those days and needed to leta little bit out.

bronze - whinge anytime ((hugs)) xxx its good to talk about it tbh you go insane otherwise xx

Bronze fwiw i think like your dh sounds like a good bloke and when the time comes he might suprise you by staying if it comes to a section xx good luck and fingers crossed you go naturally too xx ((hugs))

How long is a 'typical' hospital stay? I'm trying to figure out what to put in my/baby bag...This is what I've got.

Book (or 2)
Chapstick
Snacks
Warm socks
Large T-shirt, button up
pjs
Dark undies
Maternity pads
Toiletries:
Shampoo
Conditioner
Toothbrush/ toothpaste
Hair elastics
Bathrobe
Nursing pads
Nursing bra
Going home clothes-still preggy sizes
Perineal spray

2 babygros
2 onesies
Hat
Mittens
2 sweaters
6 nappies (disposable)
4 nappies (reusable)
Travel size baby toiletries

And how soon would you put the carseat in the car? (I'm kinda tired of tripping over it in the hallway)

I would make it lots of knickers and at least two bras in case of leakage
I would also take more of the basic baby (gros/vests)stuff. They always, wee, poo or bog it at exactly the wrong moments.

I wouldn't bother with baby toiletries

oh and Slippers

well if you don't use your back seat why not bung it in now. Ours is still in the attic, DH said hew had seen the base somewhere

I thinkt he length of stay depeneds on baby, birth, you and what youfeel comforatbale. I know given a chocie I will be going home same day

oh my goodness my typings horrendous

Right. I guess that list was me thinking no more than 24 hrs...
so I'll make sure I have lots of undies, another bra, slippers and some then more pjs for the baby.

I've got some hard core BH going on currently...and my belly keeps moving like the waves on the ocean... Is ther perhaps something ALIVE in there?!

then some

not

some then

(you and me both bronze )

You know I didn't even notice.

Bleu, add a camera, flannels and towels for you and the baby. Ditch the baby toiletries. Increase the number of nappies. How many nursing and maternity pads have you put in? You may want to throw a few muslins in as well. Also consider lucozade, lansinoh, magicool spray and maybe a pressie/card for your DH. Oh, and whilst the books sound like a good idea, I never had the time/energy to read any. Maybe a trashy (non-baby) magazine would be better so that you can just flick the pages and feel like you are reading? I'm sure that someone will be along in a mo to tell me how they managed to read all of pride and prejudice in the first 24 hours after having their first baby just to make me look pathetic!

if i have my way i will be going home as soon as the peadiatrician has checked LO over.

it is all dependant though on how the birth goes, if you want to stay in etc