Heeereee comes June, its the home streeeeetch!

[Tee2072]

Here ya go, new thread! We're almost there!!!!!

...and size of change bag - I found the Bugaboo bag overly bulky and didn't actually fit all that much in it. I ended up using a freebie bag that came with a magazine, a fold up piece of plastic that is popular in Japan as a change mat, and just used a thermal warmer for the milk. Actually the best thing about the Bugaboo bag was the two bottle pockets on the side. On the downside, it wasn't all that comfortable to carry either.

Yes ermintrude - melons would have been a good giggle

talking about changing bags been looking on kiddicare and saw this one what do you guys think?

lauraloo John Lewis do that in khaki and in black for £48.50 free delivery. Looks roomy and practical - I notice on the Kiddiecare site they call it a paternity satchel - hope they're not suggesting mummy and daddy have one each, that would be a disater, not to mention a waste of cash!

Oh ladies, esp laura, juicy, choccydoobie and ermin I feel for you with your inlaws! Mine are wonderful, fantastic in laws, but sometimes... Like I don't know I need more calcium when I am pregnant and that I shouldn't lift heavy things, and that baby's nappies really stink and on and on it goes. I have to bite my tongue and indulge MIL by listening and responding, but its a bit much. Thank God I can vent to you ladies who seem to fully understand!!!

We are on the other side of the world, so haven't had the full on interference you are suffering, so I feel for you! Must be SOO infuriating to be told you shouldn't buy things for your own baby!! Good on you for all standing strong.

I went and had a nice wander and purchasing session in H&M yesterday, and so we should be able to buy things for our precious mites if we want to. Although, poor MIL sounded too worried to buy anything herself in case I didn't want her to, so I said she should if she wants to - we want her to enjoy that, too, but no expectation from me that they provide anything. That said, I would be pretty annoyed if I was being promised things that weren't forthcoming, esp if I was relying on them!!

The house hunt continues, although made an offer today - fingers crossed!! Only when we move can I buy things. In the meantime, will just read and be at all your exciting baby purchases!

Juicy - seeing Dr sounds like a good idea. What I think is some sort of torn/stretched stomach muscle is bothering me a bit so am also going to get it seen to. Let us know how you go?

blimey Lauroloo. Is that what changing bags cost these days?
I think I will be using my old one from mamas and papas.

hi darlings

So , only had a tiny bit of pain today, it came on in the same place right hand side at the bottom of my tummy, dh has a dr appt tomorrow, I am hoping it is with my usual dr & I will just check with him that all is ok. In other news - THE BUGABOO HAS ARRIVED (at my parents!) I am going to have to go & see them just to have a play with it- poor old dad was very confused! All he could say was it was 'very heavy' i did point out that there was a pram & buggy part to it- bless him! visiting my parents has been very hard recently which makes me they live 1 hour away , I used to go up every thursday & mum & I used to go shopping & have lunch & have a bitch chat about everything! But lately with all the grandparent drama we haven't been doing that as so much time is spent helping with them . Mum is finding it really hard, I want to do something really special for mothers day so any ideas would be greatly appreciated girls! Get this on the day mum is cooking for 12 of us! (i am the only child!) close family friends are coming over with their kids & we have re-arranged 3 times all ready so they booked in march 22 without realizing- poor old mummy .

lauraloo- i like that bag- it does look very sturdy I agree, isnt it funny how sometimes jl is cheaper (when you would always think them to be the dearest) , my friend works for jl, she designed the amanda bag & you've guessed it her name is amanda- check it out when you are in there!

Spent 3 hours chatting to my lovely neighbour who has FREAKED ME OUT about the birth she said its a totally unbearable pain, but I don't think it can be that unbearable as no one would have a 2nd kid & I have decided I am going to put 'open to drugs' on my birth plan!

bunnym- I wonder if we are suffering from the same thing? My drama was after yoga yesterday so i wonder if i did it then? - goodness knows, i still do feel a bit silly about bringing it up again after the episode at the hospital on monday

erm- i agree that we should both be able to carry the same bag , but dh has made such a fuss of a 'nappy bag' that I am going to get a bright one & he can do what he likes- if he wants to use his footie rucksack thats fine by me

june- with you on the car front- we have a 2 door number, i gave my friend a lift home from yoga yesterday (she is 30 wks) poor lamb could hardly get in! It really bought it home that in a few weeks I may not be able to get in & out- aghhhh! I love having wheels!, I have put dh in charge of looking for new cars - he doesn;t seem to be getting that far he has been throwing names like merc & bmw to me- I think he is dreaming !!!! bless him!
Good luck with the NCT, mine start march 12th very close to home also - in fact I had to create a fuss to get on as they were so busy! Where are you having yours? Your live north london right? or maybe I am getting muddled?!!

choccied- mil & birthday parties etc- utter crazyiness!!! well done for standing your ground! Hope that annoying cold moves away soon!

tee- my parents 'bought' the buggy in the same way as your mum

I was just talking to DH about bags. I am at how much they cost. I won't spend that on a handbag, for goodness sake! So then DH wanted to know what you put in a baby bag, so I started to list and he says 'we're taking it to the park, not to Paris!!'

Personally I am just exhausted. So looking forward to my Friday off!

tee- you missed the part of the sentence ' my WELL DESERVED' Friday off!!

evening all

Just a quick question...been over on the pregnancy board ans theres a thread on birthplans has anyone started thinking about this or is it way too early to be thinking of this?? Can you tell i'm a first timer

excellent point juicy!! laura I am not even sure I am going to have a birth plan. Seems to me that births never go to the plan, so why have one?

tee - I feel it is one thing I could have not bought, as ended up using a normal bag anyway, as mentioned above. The important thing is to get a thermal bottle lining warmer thing to keep bottles warm when you go out. Everything else can be popped into zip top plastic bags etc. I just used a fold up piece of plastic to change her nappies on, although if you wanted something softer you could use something softer.

You can easily order one late on if you decide you want a 'proper' one.

daisy5 I used one of the Avent insulated zippered cylinders to keep expressed milk cold from work fridge to home, but those things keeps bottles warm as well as cool. As you say, you can start off with any old bag to hold all your changing and feeding gear and see whether you yearn for a designated changing bag later.

Juicy I'm sure your neighbour is lovely in many ways, but I don't think that scaring a first-time pregnant lady is not a particularly lovely thing to do! Many women enjoy giving gruesome details for dramatic effect, and I've noticed that the worst culprits are sometimes those who planned not to use pain relief but then did, and feel they have to exaggerate their agony in order to justify having 'given in'.

In the past few years, I, 2 of my sisters and dozens of friends have had very similar labour experiences, during which the pain never got so bad that we felt the need for drugs. In all cases, things were progressing and we felt that we were working towards something. It can happen! Doesn't mean you have to say No Drugs on your birth plan, but trying not to remember the horror stories and focussing on the task in hand will really help you go with it. If you clamp up with fear or anxiety that makes problems and pain more likely - it sounds mad, but you can sort of relax. (As my NCT tutor used to chant 'a wet open mouth equals a wet open vagina' ). That said, we all respond to pain differently and things like length of labour, position of baby, general health etc. can have a huge effect so it's no 'failure' to have pain relief if you need it. But either way it needn't be nightmarish!

lauraloo if any of us went into labour now we'd do exactly what the docs told us, so a birth plan isn't much use until nearer delivery date. Probably best to wait until you've done your classes, read up a bit and decided how you want to play it and then as Tee says, don't count on it working out exactly as you predict.

Laura - we are going to write up a birthplan. Not sure that it will be followed, but at least we will have turned our mind to the issues and our doula will also know what we want. Which may all be v funny to look back on after it all goes to pot! Mine is likely to say "give me TENS machine then gas + air then epidural. Oh, and would like baby on chest asap".!

laura I ahven't done a birthplan yet, I think I will draw something up for my husband so he knows what to do.
I'm thinking I might have to handcuf him to the bed as he gets flaky talking about breastfeeding & he went white at the physio when she took the plastic pelvis out.

Juicy Our course is in Southgate, I must fit in a nap tomorrow afternoon or i'll never last til 10pm...We've looked at 2nd hand mercs, they're a lot cheaper than they used to be but I'm too short, they feel huge to me.
We're looking at golfs (dh likes the R32)and though ppl have been telling me they're "comon" I don't really care, I like it, they do good deal on finance and they hold their price quite well. (not really worth buying a second hand unless you want one that is more than 4 yo atm.)

I sat in a brand new BMW M3 the other day in the shop, all leather interior etc and it was really nice :D (absolutely not in our budget at 40k though ;)

I like the audi A3 with 4 doors but not really worth it.
Dh will have the last say on it (even htough he has his own car and doesn't need to change that!)
daisy I'm thinking of buying one or two normal bags too

Gotta go, dinner ready!

HI everybody, just read the thread and caught up with all your news. So great that everybody's doing so well, although sorry to hear about your scary bleed Juicy and about your DD's illness Doris.

I've been lying low as I've had a rough few weeks - I've had dreadful insomnia and fainted in Newcastle Station the other day. It was awful as I was on my own and just fell into a lovely waitress's arms. Somebody called an ambulance !

Feeling stressed today as babyfather behaving very well, very frank discussions about monthly direct debits etc, which is very reassuring, but HE HAS JUST SAID HE WANTS TO BE AT THE BIRTH. I categorically DO NOT WANT THIS - he is not my partner, and I do not want him there when I potentially defecate, throw up, rip my poor vagina in half. I feel very strongly about this. My mum agrees with me. I'm very happy to alert him when I go into the early stages, and it's doubtful he'd get a flight over in time anyway but I DO NOT want ANYONE there but my mum. Am I being unreasonable?

MrsMcJr and Ermitude - also wanted to say thank you to for sharing your post-partem experiences. Personally I think this is the most useful advice you girls can give us first timers - there's a plethora of stuff on labour and pregnancy but barely anything on the first few days. I'm expecting to be extremely tearful, at the very least.

Last night I had a vivid dream about my life about 4 years ago, when I lived in Rio de Janeiro and had a tiny waist and a Brazilian lover. I woke up feeling quite bereft, that I'll never know that life again and would never feel that sense of adventure, youth and independence. I know it'll all be worth it, but do any other first timers feel that sense of loss?

Hey ladoes, just a quickie from me as feel rubbish and need to go to bed, I've had the kind of day that pre-DS I would never have got up on, my chest hurts so much from coughing

Buggies - my ILs were lovely and agreed to pay 1/2 even before they knew the cost

Birth Plans - more than happy to share mine from DS's birth(it was reviewed by my Consultant and a Senior labour ward midwife) just CAT me. Then I have to set about the daunting task of translating it into Spanish for this time and adding things like "Please don't pierce her ears"!

Hospital Bag - I had a few one for labour with things clearly marked in clear bags for DH to find easily (he is not good at finding things and I didn't want him to rattle me), one for DH with food, books, trunks (in case of water birth)change of clothes, toothbrush etc, one for the ward and another in the car with back up clothes for me, nappies, sanitary towels etc oh and my yoga mat, birth ball and pillow we only took the labour bag and DH's bag in at the outset and then I sent him back for the rest my hospital clothed your newborn so I only had a swaddle blanket and a going home outfit for him (plus nappies etc). If your hospital doesn't do the same, don't forget a little hat

More from me soon,take care of those babes and try not to let the PIL get to you

Sorry, just another thought, after all the practical and possibly scary aspects of being a new Mum, I thought it would be nice to share some of the most incredible moments too, it really is the most precious, wonderful time of your life and you will never forget the minute you first met your child

Here are a few of mine:

• minutes after DS was born he was handed to me by my DH who told me we had a son (I wanted DH to be the one to discover) DS and I snuggled skin to skin naked under blankets for hours and my world changed so completely, instantly.
• The look of love and admiration on DH?s face and hearing him weep for joy on the phone as he rang around the relies.
• Cuddling my DS all night the first night because otherwise he cried because he missed my warmth (and I missed him too)
• Just watching him for hours and hours with all his exaggerated facial expressions
• Singing the tiny bundle to sleep and pacing round the kitchen trying to help him drop off, so precious.
• Discovering that he had his Daddy?s feet and eyes in miniature

Sitting here in floods of happy tears over the memories, I am SO pregnant

looouise you are not being unreasonable. Its lovely that he is getting on board, but if you don't want him at the birth, he shouldn't be there. And he needs to respect that!

And, no, I do not feel like I am losing anything. Maybe because I'm an older first time mum at 40, maybe because DH and I tried for this baby for a year and a half before we caught!

mrsmcJ I've got tears in my eyes at that! We are all SO pregnant!!

Louise where is the babyfather coming from?
I always find travelling by plane takes a lot longer than just the flight.
Maybe apply the same rule as inlaws "smile, say "yes, how wonderful" (keeps the peace) and then just do whatever you really want. I did this for my sil who wants to be at the irth too (errr, NO). She said "you have to call me straigth away" I replied "I can't promise, I might be a little busy giving birth". I will have a birth plan that says, no ils allowed in the room.

Have you got a birth partner already? They may not allow more than one other person anyway.

You're not unreasonable at all. I just want my dh there and I'm not sure he can cope with it, he might pass out at the waters stage. My best friend offered to come too and stay put at her mums place just in case dh is the one on gas and air!.

looouise, you can't have anyone at the birth with whom you don't feel entirely comfortable, so don't feel forced into it. But look on the positive side - the babyfather is keen to be there at the beginning, and that will be really good for the baby. He'll be there to hold the newborn and that's a very special moment whatever the relationship between the parents - and you seem to be getting on well with him so it's great he's so interested.

My sis had already broken up with her useless bf before the birth of their DS, but she wanted him to be there so she could tell their child that daddy was there too. And since he'd 'seen it all before' and she's not a v self-conscious person she didn't care how much panting and groaning he witnessed (actually, I think she saw it as revenge ). But I don't think I'd want a man who wasn't my partner there, unless he was a midwife!

MrsMcJr stop it, I'm blubbing! Those are lovely moments indeed.

MrsMcJnr - thank you for the beautiful post, I have tears streaming down my face. I read this at just the right time, as have read a few things about labour and post-baby that have me anxious (body will never recover, DH will feel alienated / jealous, no more sex etc). Much better to focus on the wonderful aspects!

hi all,

Quick update from juicy camp sat dr office waiting for the bloody hospital to answer the phone to him to see if I should go back in. Pains during the night & now I'm convinced that I am feeling reduced movements which us really awful. I'm so hoping that it is that I have been distracted of the movements by the pain it's so awful I am close to tears today over the whole thing. On the plus side I heard babies heartbeat at the dr's. Sent dh to work but I think I may call my mum to come down. More later

Oh juicy do keep us updated. I am praying for all of you.

juicy Good that you heard the heartbeat at the drs. Please try and not work yourself up too much, you would definitely be distracted from the movements by the pain.
Definetly call your mum for a bit of support, she sounds fab from your previous posts.
Keep us updated!

Juicy - Good luck today, I'll be thinking of you.

MrsMcJnr - Nice post! There is so much joy with parenthood!

However, I was getting myself a little worried about having two at once. Dd will be five and will be starting school come August but for the first 2.5 months it will be me, baby and dd during the day and I'm worried I'll be stressed and knackered and all the magic will seem far away! How did everyone else who've done it before manage with two plus?

Changing bags, I would like one, but will see. I got a lovely pretty (and expensive) one last time and it was pretty useless!

looouise - You are definately not being unreasonable, but there is still time to change your mind one way or another. Plus with him another country I can't imagine there's much chance he'll make it anyway!

It can be strange thinking of what you lose with a child, namely independence. I did think about it a little, especially as I was 22 with dd, but really when your baby is here then you see it as totally worth it. I had the odd moment on a Saturday night thinking about mates out partying but it was only now and then that it brought a sigh. I managed to get out a fair bit as dd got older anyway with parental help so I've been really lucky there. You'll love it, but when you do get time out, you'll appreciate it all the more!

Really want to go and buy baby bits, boring stuff really, I know I'll get plenty of clothes as presents and my family all want to get something helpful so I'm saving stuff for them but I'd really like to sort the fiddly bits; muslins, pads, changing mats and so on! Should get paid for my reviewing soon which is not much but will get a good few thing...