Heeereee comes June, its the home streeeeetch!

[Tee2072]

Here ya go, new thread! We're almost there!!!!!

Naat - Welcome to the June thread!

Loooouise - First of all I'm sure there's no chance that the babyfather will turn up with unreasonable demands, but of course the worry is always either about that or the opposite problem; just disappearing! I always wonder how dd will be affected when her dad gets married and has more kids (not on the cards at the moment). I mean will he be settle down with 'new family' and start to neglect her?? I certainly hope not but I rather doubt it, he's been good for the last five years I can't imagine he'd just suddenly abandon her but then you do hear about it happening.

When you do have a good relationship with the ex then of course you have to 'share' to an extent. I've always seen it as a good thing, nights off so I can go out and get a lie in and of course dd gets her dad. When she was a baby he saw her with me, then started to have her for an afternoon on his own, building up to nights, etc. Now he has her every other weekend plus one or two nights a week. At the moment that seems like a lot to me as she is in nursery full-time (due to work and uni) so I don't see her as much as I'm used to. (Before Septmember she was only in nursery 2.5-3 days and at his a bit less). Still, in a few weeks she'll be back down to 3 days a week and she'll be around full-time when the baby comes (until school starts in August).

I think some mums find separation harder than others, we are all different. I generally have always appreciated the 'adult' time I get when she is at her dad's but I know some people would find it very difficult. I did feel sad over Christmas as she was going with her dad to his parents but had a quiet Christmas with dh and celebrated again with her when she got back.

I'm sure you'll work out what works for you, just try and stay positive!

June - And everyone else buying baby bits, lucky you! I have very little except buggy an some vests. Still, I am still hoping to get given some bits secondhand so I'll put off buying things for another month or so I think! Nearly got a cot through someone my dad knows but apparently didn't move quickly enough!

Sex life fine currently but I'm sure it'll tail off later on in pregnancy, and of course for a fair bit after the birth!

hi all, have been lurking for a while, wondered if i might actually join your thread?
Expecting no 3(ds2) on June 13th.

Morning all

Welcome tibsy I hope all has been going well with this pregnancy so far!

Quick question (i seem to be full of these lately) has anyone elses morning sickness came back? Just over the past few days I've been feeling terribly sick and quesey all the time

Morning girls

June what a nightmare with your bank - just when you don't need it - but well done for persevering and filling that boot!

Naat Welcome and congrats on your pregnancy. MrsMcJr is one of the most organised ladies on this thread who seems to manage to reply nicely to everyone and I'm not sure how she does it but it's a good thing

loooouise I can't imagine in what circs shared residence would be imposed upon a woman with a man she's never been romantically attached with (well, not much ) so I don't think you need have nightmares about that. If you and babyfather work out what kind of role he's going to play - even as a temp measure to begin with, to review later - you can make sure it's not too much too soon or setting difficult precedents. The fact he works abroad may mean an organised trip over every couple of months, during which time he may or may not stay with you, however you want to play it. You aren't married and weren't even 'going out' with him when you conceived so all the rights are in your hands, provided you behave reasonably towards him, which you're obviously doing. We're all having anxiety dreams at the moment; yours are bound to be to do with your particular situation so try not to stress about it. Those kind of punitive situations where a guy gets nasty are usually to do with being excluded from the family home - and being a bit of a nutter. Babyfather doesn't sound that way!

Other single mums will be able to help you with more practical info I'm sure, but legally you're not in a vulnerable situation.

Juicy at your DH not fetching your socks! Can you get some relative to shout at him, or did his mother spoil him? I need only say - damn, forgot to bring my keys down - and DH will sprint back up for them without a murmur. Looking after me is part of his way of feeling involved I think - because OHs are pretty much on the outside looking in during pregnancy. But I guess different blokes respond to that feeling in different ways. If you can encourage him to be more helpful now it will bode well for nappy-changing etc .

Morning everyone! Wow, this thread moves quickly!

Lauraloo: Funny you mentioned it! Yesterday I started feeling quite queasy and said to myself "no, this isn't possible", but I guess it is! No sickness, fortunately, but the queasiness was definitely there. Anyone else feeling this?

Welcome Tibsy! You're a newby like me . The girls are really sweet, you'll love this thread...

Loooouise: Nightmares are on the menu for me too... Awful ones that make me wake up in tears! DH wakes up and calms me down, usually by "caressing" my hair, as he knows I looooove that . But they are awful and the feeling of anxiety and sadness doesn't go away that quickly, I completely understand you! Like some of the girls said, I have no idea about your legal rights, unfortunately, so no advice on that front

Juicy: I agree with Ermintrude, encourage, encourage, encourage .

Morning all.

Well I am a bit queasy this morning as well! No, not that again!!

Also, the baby seems to be moving less. I had a few days of really hard kicks and now its back to sort of flutters. I'm 24 weeks tomorrow, anyone else having this? I am worried that it is because of the fall on Thursday!

I see my OB tomorrow, so I will bring it up with her for sure!

thanks for the welcome

tee dont know if its any comfort, but my lo's movements vary from day to day. maybe the postion theyre in?? glad you'll be able to get some reassurance tomorrow tho with your OB

laura pretty ok pg so far thanks, just feel so flipping exhausted all the time!!! when i'm feeling really tired, thats when i feel queasy

naat what a lovely dh

Morning all

Welcome naat and tibsy!

Juicy, sounds like you might need to slow down a bit if the pain is coming after exercise, get your dh up those stairs next time, tell him we said so

Bunny, definitely with you on the slowing down front! I'm managing marginally faster than a snail at the moment and even that's leaving me huffing and puffing. One advantage of having older kids is that I can get them to pick up all the things I keep dropping at the moment

June, glad you finally got the cards sorted, apple crumble and custard, yum It's so rude not to ring, even worse not to answer their phones when you rang!

tee, do you think baby may have moved position? My lo definitely has busier days than others, if I have a busy day, I think I don't concentrate so much on movements and maybe they just don't register so much because my mind is on other things.

looooise, i'm having some really horrible, vivid dreams too, think that's just the stage we are all at I think if you name the babyfather on the birth certificate then he automatically has parental responsibility, but you, as the parent with day to day care get to make all the day to day decisions. He won't be able to force you to do anything you don't want to unless he wants to go through the courts, which is not the way most want to sort things. Have you thought about whose surname you want your lo to have? It's probably worth thinking about this and things like access now and maybe gently broaching this with him so that you're not feeling like having to rush into decisions the day before you go to register the birth (he will have to be with you if you want him on the certificate) or the week before christmas. That way hopefully you can have a proper conversation rather than feeling any pressure over time constraints The more amicable you can keep things, the better, believe me

lynn, hope you can have an equally good discussion with your doctor!

I've got my gtt on wednesday, what fun that will be I'm really struggling to follow the high carb diet, it's only for 3 days but i'm not eating anywhere near as much as usual at the moment (not a bad thing!) and it's leaving me feeling really bloated!

Well it's a lovely sunny morning in sw london, must go open some windows

morning all, sorry this post can't be personalized as I am on my phone as soon as I scroll up my reply dissspears!
Welcome new ladies !!
Had a chat with dh last night about stag nights and kind of let my feelings be known so this one in April is now 'in discussion'.
Sickness- yes I'm right there with all of you had no sickness until oh until my hellish last week! Really weird to feel it now! And if you try & explain to someone (ie a male) they think you are being a drama queen!
June think it was you that had that awful episode with the cc not what you need!& what awful service from the bank- you did so well not crying I can feel tears welling up at anything right now! Glad you got baby loads of beautiful things it's all so real now!
Not sure who mentioned nightmares but had those too- & guess what mine were about my pain in the arse fil!
Whoever asked me about someone having a word with dh, his mum still wipes him & his brothers bottom at 32 & 34 ( well not literally but you know what I mean!)
Louise (I think) sorry you are having worries about baby father but the girls are right, first off you have to decide if you are going to name him as daddy. Then take it from there, I had a friend who had her ds about 2 years ago she was with the dad but he was a real shit (she even knew he had slept with another woman ) & she gave baby his surname , she then told me a month later she had 'taken his name off' which I never did believe & they had split up! Anyway I am not saying you are in the same situation as your bf seems like a good guy, but you aren't in a relationship & you have the final say. I am sure you will sort something without fights & remember be clear & what you want.

Had to take my wedding & engagement rings off today as my hands are swollen. Dh said & I quote 'just force them on' I told him to f- off not sure what planet he is on at the moment!

loooouise - Don't fret. The nasty situations usually arise when there is real anger between the parents, or when one withholds access and the other needs to fight to get some.

The first times that dd and dp spent together were magical for me. I just love watching their relationship develop. Although I'm obviously not a single parent, I am guessing you will still feel the same about her developing her bond with her daddy. But at first I imagine you may want to spend time together as the three of you. But in time it will be nice when they go off together to do stuff. He sounds a really reasonable and nice guy. He will want to take her to meet his family, and maybe sometimes you will go and sometimes you will not. Best to compare notes before buying presents - don't want to out compete each other on present buying!

They notice if there is conflict between parents. The better the relationship between you, the happier the child. You may want to suggest some ground rules such as 'no talking about the other one except in favourable terms' etc, but these are good sense and will come with time as he/she grows up. I guess he will fly over from Belgium for the weekend from time to time. Would he stay in your guest room or something or does he have family/friends nearby?

Have you met his mother yet?

Daisy-

You are so right I think louise will be fine because both parties are reasonable bf sounds like a good egg as my mum would say!

I was just wondering if I made it sound all too rosy.

Actually parenting is full of arguments, from choosing all the kit for the baby, to what is causing she/he to cry so much, to who has done the most around the house and who is tiredest, to how incompetent the other parent was for letting their child get sunburnt, to why he/she seems cold and didn't the other parent notice it, to why he/she has a bruise on his/her leg, etc etc etc, day in, day out.

And sometimes you just have to agree to disagree sometimes.

He will take her out for the day and be late home and put her schedule out that you have taken 3 weeks to try and get established which will drive you insane, he may loose his/her jumper or not notice his/her nappy is full, she may arrive home with a high temperature that he hasn't noticed, or she will have a fall and you will quiz him endlessly, wondering if there was more to it than he said and if you should be taking her to A&E etc etc etc.

You will send him out, with (as Tee put it) enough stuff for a long weekend in Paris, and he will think you are mad. It will have the two extra changes of clothing in case of disasters, the temperature gauge, the formula, the raincoat, sun hat in case it gets sunny, the toys for the car, so she won't cry, the muslins, the sunscreen lotion, the raincoat etc etc.

Yes, lots and lots of potential for lots and lots of arguments, but because you both love this little person so much you both want what is best for him/her and so you move on and try and make it all work.

juicy, just ask him if he fancies spending the evening in a&e while you wait to have your rings cut off because chances are they will swell slightly more during the day, mine always did, although they would go down slightly over night! If you feel strange without your rings wear them on a chunky chain round your neck Good the april stag is in discussion, what about the july one? Hope you get it sorted

Daisy, I liked the "agree to disagree" phrase... It sums a lot up. I can only imagine what's coming after the birth of the baby!

Last night I dreamt that I was with my baby in Tesco doing the shopping (her in her new pushchair ) and when I turned around after reaching for something, the pram was not there!!! Of course I woke up crying... desperate to know it was just a nighmare!

I guess there're many of us with nightmares these days

Insomnia: check
swollen fingers: check
nausea: check
tiredness: check
moodiness: check
clumsiness: check
headache: check
nightmares about dh leaving me: check

Right, so it's all "normal" then ;)
No messing about, do symptoms have an appointment bang on 26 weeks or something?

I have so much work to do and all I want is to get the pram out of the box :D

Might try and nap first, I think that could eliminate a lot of the above symptoms.

oh and I had a ham and banana sandwich yesterday, the only reason I did not add grated carrots and a piece of dark chocolate to that mix was because dh was looking at me funny.

In haste - I have never stopped feeling a bit nauseous every day since week 7, but it got much worse again last week and I threw up a few times; now back to just feeling sick all day. . And the heartburn/ indigestion starts as soon as I have had my very small bowl of cereal or fruit for breakfast, and carries on after everything I eat. Sorry to whinge, other than that I'm feeling fab . Got a Mothercare under-belly support thing which I'll have a go at wearing tomorrow - really feeling the bump this time around and walking a bit like John Wayne already.

daisy5 lol @ your lovely rosy encouraging post about sharing parenthood, closely followed by your 'telling it like it is' post

june2009 lol. fwiw, this is how mine reads atm...

Insomnia: check
swollen fingers: escaped so far
nausea: ok
tiredness: double check
moodiness: check
clumsiness: check although always beeen that way inclined
headache: ok
nightmares about dh leaving me: check
just wanted to add
breathlessness: check (anyone else started this yet, or is it just me??

Oh yes! Breath seems to be on the low run these days!! And it seems to leave me even at the smallest least energy-consuming activities!!!

And me:

Insomnia: check
swollen fingers: just a tiny bit, rings still fit!
nausea: off and on
tiredness: double check
moodiness: check
clumsiness: well, I fell over a curb last Thursday...
headache: no
nightmares about dh leaving me: no
breathlessness: heck yes!
Waddling when walk: check

Gee, guess we're all pregnant!!!

naat - glad i'm not the only one then!!!

I just realized I never said welcome to naat or tibsy! How rude of me!

Welcome to the June thread!

Hello ladies!!

Juicy - err, "just force them on"?? Oh, God help you!! If mine don't fit, I will wear them around my neck, good idea bigcar! I knew another lady who did that (apart from Carrie Bradshaw w Aiden's ring...)

Daisy - am a first timer, but somehow I found myself nodding at your description of all the potential arguments re little ones!

Hello there Naat and Tibsy, welcome and congratulations! This is a v chatty, fun and supportive thread. But its moving too fast for me to reply properly!!

Bigcar and any other Londoners - today is just wonderful in London, isn't it?!!

I need to go for a walk now, but at least will have a "spring in my step" (who am I kidding?!?!) as our offer on the flat has been accepted - just found out!! Am sooo excited! Thanks for all the support and encouraging words! And off to see Dr re my stomach pains tomorrow, which should be "fun".

Daisy I think it was, re the visa situation, that's still not resolved, so not entirely angst free, but at least I know Jacqui "Expense" Smith is looking out for me!

Enjoy the rest of your afternoons!

ermintrude - sorry to hear you have been stricken with the dreaded heartburn/indigestion! Hope Gaviscon is of some help to you!

June - am smiling at your sambo combo! Its great! I have drunk 22 litres of rice milk (can't drink normal milk) over the last few weeks and DH has been a bit over my intake. But there's nothing like Milo w rice milk for me! Although sorry to hear that you have all the symptoms! You are not the only one who worries about their DH leaving them, although I also "mix it up a bit" by being a complete cow to him, too. Just to keep him on his toes...

Bunnymother, I had to go back some pages, as I'm new, but I now realise we both share the same "angst" these days!! I'm also a "foreign national" and the news given by Mrs Jacqui is something we don't need actually need these days! Something ELSE to lose some sleep about... AND! We are also dealing with some flat/house issues, but I'll tell you all about that later, if not, this post will be too long

June, I laughed so hard at your banana-ham sandwich story... not because of the banana and the ham but because of what you said later on hahaha about not including other "ingredients" after your DH started staring

Tee, thanks for the welcome post!