July 2009 Part III

[Mij]

Hope no-one minds me kicking this one off - 39 pages seemed a bit unmanageable!

Had 20 week scan today. Tiddler unco-operative to start with (although not as bad as DD was - took 3 goes to see everything) and it looks like most of the bits are in the right places. Decided right at the very last minute not to find out the sex. Realised that, if DD thinks she's going to have a sister, that nothing, not even photographic evidence, will change her mind anyway. So stuck with the 'don't ask don't tell' as per first time around and will just have to wait to sort out all the sodding clothes 'til we know what we've got.

Although... What do gonads look like on a scan?! Got a very good look at the hips from underneath, so to speak, and thought I saw two little bright spots, but that could be the sitting bones of course. Anyone tell me what the crown jewels look like on a scan?!

Hobnob and Belgrano fantastic news for you both, congratulations.
Really hope it works out for you this time Hobnob.

Micky and Lydia lovely news for you two aswell.

Had baby's heart scan today too. Still all ok and functioning well. The hepatic veins are slightly bigger than normal to make up for not having a DV. I'm always so relieved nothing additionally bad is found but the consultants have no idea of what the outcome will eventually be. Have to have another heart scan at 28 weeks. Feeling slightly deflated at all these scans.
Belgrano I didn't know that its usually boys that give you grief, this little chap is definitely trying its mummy's patience!!

Gave dd a tighter hug than normal tonight realising how lucky I am to already have a beautiful healthy child.

Plot2 that sounds like good news for you as well then. Sounds like the nipper is compensating ably for the absence of the DV. Nature is clever isnt it.
Poor you though, having to continually rev up all over again for these gruelling scans every few weeks. Yes, the consultant said always boys who play us up like this. The ratbags.

morning everyone, lydia have you tried the soluble calpol tablets. DS used to refuse any medicine from a spoon. the soluble ones are for older kids and one tablet is equivalent to two spoons of calpol. the pharmacist said as long as i remembered it was two spoons they would be ok for him - he was 2 at the time. they dissolve in juice or milk and dont make it taste gross. i think we also had piriton in medicine form when DS had the chicken pox. he was one and was sooo poorly. hope she is better soon!

just reminded me that the other month my mum took DS to nursery to be faced with the question, has he had chicken pox as another little one had come down with it. DS looked indignant at his teacher and said
"NO, IVE HAD COCO POPS THIS MORNING!"

Lovely news Hobnob - have everything crossed for you! its me with the quinny speedi on the wish list. will check your review out.

hang in there plot2 - You will have a very photogenic little man after all his posing for the sonographer!

Have a great day everyone. x

Hobnob Thats fantastic news, keep with us, it will be great to follow your pregnancy! I remember getting pregnant after my mc and it is such a daunting time, but still thrilling.

lydiathetatooedlady thatnks..it def didn't smell of semen (although I have forgotten what that smells like!

Gillyan Glad you share the discharge issues!! Oh the glamour. Re piles, it get those too! I put some sudacream on them, it really helps and saves a trip to the pharmacy!

Re chicken pox, I always used calomine cream rather than lotion, much less drying and soothing for them.

Plot2 thats good news, don't feel deflated by all the scans, at least its reassurance for you that all is well. I have my next scan at the Evelina on the 23rd. We will see what they say then.

Have a good day everyone. I am seeing my bf later on who had a mc at christmas. She was 3 weeks behind me which was so sad and since then has totally cut me out of her life. She can't bear to see me as it reminds her of what she has lost. Its been really hard, I feel quite abandoned and hurt that she is fine with everyone else but ignores me. This gget together later was on her prompting so wel will see how it goes. I am going to have to tell her how I feel though, its not going to be much fun

thanks for all the advice regarding chicken pox! dd is sooooo much better today. still cant believe we're having a boy im desperate to buy something. need to nip to supermarket so may just pick something up to satisfy my uncontrollable urge to buy!
also very much enjoying this stay at home malark whilst dd is ill, we're going to try and bake cakes later!

Urgghh. Disgusting cold has turned into disgusting cough overnight. Everything hurts. Shite night of insomnia and Tiddler kicking my bladder. Moan moan moan....

Great news about scans - either 'not to worry' or 'nothing extra to worry about' so here's hoping it all stays that way.

Car seats - weirdly, I found getting DD in and out of the back of a 2-door car easier than a 4 door, even with a bad back. There was something about the way I had to lean over to belt it in sideways that used to kill me. I guess if you have a newer car with Isofix it's not so much of an issue.

We have a 19 year old car so no airbag to worry about. I used to put DD in the front regularly, because she hated the car and hated it even more when she couldn't see me, but the back is definitely safer as a general rule, so hunny, get yourself kitted out with a mirror, and a clip-on mobile to keep DC occupied and you should be fine!

Off to sulk about my cough over a sandwich. Harrumph!

Hi, first time I have posted on Mumsnet, so here goes!

It's my first baby and I am due on July 16th. Everything is good on the scans and the midwives reckon it is going to be a biggun'!! Am hoping not as big as my sister's DSs (12lb 8oz and 13lb 4oz respectively) Ouch!! Didn't find out the sex, waiting for the surprise - although I have been told I am selfish for doing this by a "friend", I am (unsurprisingly) ignoring her.

As it is my first, I am trying to work out what the heck I actually need to buy for the baby. I have looked at a few lists online and they seem to be long and expensive - my question is really for all those second timers what item(s) could you absolutely not live without?

Gillyan: re bra sizes try Figleaves, I buy my bras from them anyway and they were the only place I could find that do maternity bras up to a decent size. They don't have a huge selection but it's a place to start! I started off as a 38 F and am currently on a 42 F/G so I definitely understand the finding a bra to fit issue.

Patchybob: Hope all goes as well as possible with your bf later today. Have a friend who may not be able to have kids who is trying her hardest to be pleased for me and the DH but is finding it quite difficult.

About that friend actually, how do I tactfully (not a strength of mine - especially while pregnant) tell her I can't keep counselling her on her problems? She keeps ringing me to have a chat about her fertility and other medical problems and I find them very stressful. Had a scare the other weekend (small bleed), ended up on the delivery ward being monitored. Everything was fine by the way, no problems just got told I need to cut down my hours (from a 50 hr week) and drastically reduce the stress in my life. I have done the reduction in time at work (now that was fun conversation!) and I am reducing the stress in my life generally, but the friend and her phone calls are a continuing source!! I do want to be there for her at some level, but not if that puts mine and the baby's health at risk!! Help?!

Sorry this is a really long post, but I actually feel like I can talk to you all and I won't get the standard answers I have had off the few friends I have broached this subject with who are not pregnant and don't see what the problem is!

lillabet Welcome and congratulations! I'm a first timer too

I totally understand what you mean about your friend, I have a friend who just phones me up for a good moan about absolutely nothing and it really frustrates me because I think ''I really don't need this right now'' but she's my best friend so I just don't have the heart to tell her to stop troubling me. Have you tried just distancing yourself? Have a list of excuses to get off the phone eg ''I can't talk for long the dinner is in the oven'' or ''I'm just on my way out of the door''. I think it would be very hurtful if you were up front with her, especially considering that she's going to be jealous of your pregnancy but she'll soon get the hint if you make yourself less available to her IYSWIM? You just have to be careful that she doesn't take the attitude of ''she doesn't want to know me know that she's pregnant, she'll be too busy with her mum friends'' etc.

I hope you're taking doc's advise and cutting back on the work and resting more.

I had a bit of a scare today, I've been getting lots of pains around my bump for the past couple of days and then today I went to the toilet and my knickers were a bit wet so I was worried that I've lost some waters but now I think I've just maybe leaked a bit of wee . I'm still not 100% sure tho so will keep my eye on it.

xxhunnyxx Thanks for the welcome and the feedback. I have been trying to distance myself as gently as possible; I only answer her call once a week rather than the 3 or 4 times a day she calls me!! I have been doing this a while, but it doesn't seem to be getting through!

I am taking the advice and cutting back on work and resting more. The DH has been fab about it too. I am resting a lot more - in bed by 9pm most nights, which was unheard of for me, unless I was ill! Ah, the joys of pregnancy!!

As for the pains you're getting (assuming you're around the same number of weeks gone as me), it could be what they call round ligament pain. This is caused by caused by stretching of the round ligaments which hold your uterus in place and as it grows they are stretched out. However I am not a medical professional so if you are worried speak to your midwife and get it checked out. Like I was told when I had the scare, it is best to check it out and there be nothing wrong, than not too check and worry or then have a problem.
This may be TMI, but I also was a little worried I seemed to be losing waters , but I was told it is not unusual to get small leaks due to the pressure on your bladder - I was told pelvic floor exercises are the way to go .

Welcome and congrats Lillabet

We've been out all day at Chester Zoo, i'm shattered and aching but ds enjoyed it.

Updated List

25th June - Christiana - DD 3yrs - Surprise
28th June - Woollyjo - DD 2yrs, 2mcs - Having a girl
29th June - Welshlinz - DD 6yrs
29th June - JLo2 - DS 11yrs, DS 7yrs, DS 6yrs
29th June - Highrise - first baby
early July - lyca - 3Dcs
1st July - Rattling - first two babies - Surprise - TWINS
1st July - binkerbeany - DS 2yrs
1st July - Mrsmope - DD 4yrs, mmcs - TWINS
2nd July - Nicky6 - DD 11mth
2nd July - pop1973
4th July - Mum2boys2girls - DS 14yrs, DS 12yrs, DD 7yrs, DD 21months
4th July - ActivityApple - first baby - Having a boy
5th July - soozze - DS 3yrs
6th July - xxhunnyxx - first baby - Having a boy
6th July - Wiltedrose - DD 2.6yrs - Having a girl
7th July - MuppetGirl - DS1 4.8yr, mc and DS2 1yr
7th July - Misspaella - DS 3yrs, DD 17mths - Surprise
7th July - QueenFee - DD 4.4yrs, DS 2.3yrs - Surprise
7th July - thelollipoplady - DD1 6yrs, DD2 3yrs - Having a boy
7th July - Eviebear
8th July - JetLi - first baby
8th July - deleting - DS 5.5yrs, DD 2yrs - Surprise
8th July - rubyriley - DS 21yrs, DS 12yrs - Having a boy
9th July - LargeGlassofRed - Ds 11yrs, Dd1 8yrs, Dd2 5yrs - Having 2 boys - TWINS
9th July - Betsyboo - DS 10yrs, DD 8yrs
9th July - London11 - DS 8yrs - Having 2 boys - TWINS
9th July - bellybaba
9th July - Gillyan - DD 3yrs - Having a girl
9th July - Hobbgoblin - 1DD, 2DS', 2mc
10th July ? Baffy ? DS age 3yrs
10th July - Mij - DD 2.4yrs - Surprise
10th July - Newb - first baby - Having a girl
10th July - SafferUpNorth - first baby
10th July - eveningall - DS 3.9yrs
11th July - Marsmonster - DD 10mths
12th July - Jenny79 - first baby - Having a boy
13th July - Scully - DD1 6yrs, DD2 2yrs, 2 m/c.
14th July - doublehelp - 2 DCs
14th July - Naturopath - ds 16mths
14th July - Dannyg - 2 Ds? - Having a girl
14th July - LittleDoe - first baby
15th July - Accebar - Having a girl
15th July - Lydiathetattooedlady - Having a boy
16th July - BeccaBump - DD 2yrs - Having a boy
16th July - Knax - DS 2 yrs, m/c
16th July - NattyTomAndEllen - DD 18mths, DS 30mths
16th July - SheWillBeLoved - first baby, mmc
16th July - plot2 - DD 2yrs - Having a boy
16th July - Lillabet - first baby - Surprise
17th July - Patchybob - DS 7yrs, DD 5yrs, m/c - Surprise
17th July - Phoenix - DS 3yrs - Having a boy
17th July - alibobble - DD 2yrs - Surprise
17th July - Bozette - DS 14mths - Having a girl
18th July - maxmissie
19th July - Dinkyboysmum - DS 16mths
19th July - busyemma - DS1 6yrs, DS2 2yrs
20th July - LBK - first baby
20th July - Belgrano - DD 2mths - Having a boy
22nd July - ray81 - 2m/c
23rd July - Andie01 - DS 2yrs
24th July - Madoldbird - DC 11yrs & 12yrs - TWINS
24th July - Lastboxoftampons - first baby
24th July - Moominmoma - first baby
24th July - Lyrebird - first baby
24th July - ilikeyoursleeves - DS 14mths
25th July - PrincessButtercup - DS 5yrs, DD 3yrs, m/c - Having a boy
25th July - BonzoDoodah - DD 16mths - Surprise
25th July - Mickeylou - DS 3yrs - Having a girl
27th July - KitCat26 - first baby
28th July - mylilmiracle - first baby
28th July - Cheekycel
29th July - Brainmish - Ds 1yr
29th July - Poppet45 - first baby
30th July - Mavornia - DS 20mths
31st July - madeinamerica - first baby - Having a girl
31st July - littlepipbumpmummy - DS 20mths
31st July - EarthMotherWannabe - first baby

Hi all,

Following on from the last couple of messages, I just wondered whether anybody has ever had severe issues with round ligament pain? I've been off work for some time now as I was diagnosed with this problem at around 9/10 weeks. It began as bad back and low abdominal pain and has gradually got worse to the point where I can't walk, stand, or sit on a hard chair for long. I can't drive and even struggle a bit with being a passenger. Basically, lying down and having a hot bath helps. Even going to bed is a bit of a trial. It's been so upsetting as no-one in the medical profession seems able to help me with it and I've gone from being a really active person with a strong work ethic to an inactive slob. I've been told to take painkillers and rest, but it just isn't getting better or going away. The only way I can describe the pain at times is like the beginning of a miscarriage (SO reassuring after having had one with my first pg ). So, I was just really hoping that somebody else has had/is having the experience and could offer advice/support for a mum to be who is pretty much housebound!

The good news is that so far the baby has been described as 'very comfortable' and 'perfectly happy' - such a relief. I'm still very anxious about my 2nd scan though. Sorry if this sounds like a huge whinge, as I know that some people don't even get the opportunity to experience pregnancy. Am enjoying every other aspect though!

Welcome Lillabet

All went ok with my friend today, she was very tearful and sorry for being so nasty to me and explained that it is so hard for her to see me pregnant when we should be pregnant together. I really feel for her but on the other hand feel sad myself that I havent been able to share anything with her as she is avoiding me and totally alone (we lived in each others pockets, saw each other every day and now its as if I don't exist) Anyway hope we are now on the road to rescuing our friendship.

xxhunnyxx I had a scare the other day, sounds similar, all settled down now. I get terrible cramp like pain, like a stitch all around the bottom of my bump whenever I walk the dog now or walk too far. If you are worried about waters see the dr though just for reassurance.

Enjoy your evening everyone, off to the freezer for the cookies and cream icecream now!! DH out tonight so its desperate housewives and icecream for me! xx

welcome lillabet and congrats. Thanks for the bra advice I'll have a look in a min. Hmm re friends, on my last post I mention a girl who has only been trying for a month and is obsessed by the fact that I got PG in first 2 months, I saw her in mothercare yesterday looking at prams and she told me she had already painted the nursery! I'm hoping she will get pregnant very soon or god knows what she'll be like. A really good friend of mine was only 6 weeks behind me and she had a iscarriage and I just feel awful for her especially every time I see her and I'm getting bigger - she's so sweet though and even wants to throw my baby shower! I just hope she has a succesfull PG next time as I just don't know how she will react to my PG or new baby. It's so sad.

Things I couldn't off lived without last time : Electric Steam Sterilser ( dead easy ) - Baby bouncer - Infacol.

hobnob Yey! Fantastic news! So so pleased for, I hope everything goes well and you must keep us all updated. Are you more anxious this time round? My friend who had a miscarriage recently said she thinks she will stress less next time as she realises she has no control over what happens? Having said that I though with this my 2nd PG I would sit back and chill throughout but I'm still counting down the days and wishing it all away.

Had another horrendous afternoon at work, the day started off well and then the more people I had to deal with the more I cannot wait to leave!

Gosh! my computer goes down for 2 days and now I need a rest after reading all those posts

hobnob wow thats fantastic news. So pleased for you and fingers crossed.

Glad everyones scans have gone ok.

lillibet welcome! sorry to hear about this pain. I suffered with spd in my last pregnancy and its hard being in pain all the time on top of normal pregnancy irritations!

at being told it was selfish not to find out the sex? how!!!

re bras. I have the opposite problem I am a 32 G and no one does big boobs small back got mine eventually from Bravissimo but just checked they only go up to a 40 back. Nursingbra.co.uk see to have some in your size though. I have not used them myself but hth.

re eating my appetite has gone through the roof and I can't eat enough of anything!

I keep finding baby things in my DDs dolls box and taking them back for bump much to DDs disgust. I have most things I need now just got to find this changing bag. I wore 3 out with the other 2 so I def need one. However not prepared to pay £40 for a bag. Even looked on the market today but none of the bags appealled. Wonder if I am being too fussy. Just I have to use it everyday for goodness knows how long so I have to like it!

lillabet Just had a look atthat site and realised I had found that one yesterday. They only have nursing bra's in my size but I refined the search to non wired bra's and found some so might order some of them

The only difference between a nursing and maternity bra is a clip - I wear my nursing bras through my pregnancies as I am a cheapskate and don't want to buy both!

I've bought some miriam stoppard nursing bras from debenhams. i got DDs but pretty sure they had bigger. i dont plan on breastfeeding so clip is pretty redundant but they looked comfy!!

QueenFee Figleaves joyously do 32G too!
I wondered if I could buy nursing in lieu of maternity bras, now I know .
I might add, I don't work for Figleaves, I just love the site and the fact they do reasonably priced bras for the curvier woman.

As for being selfish; that was because the friend wanted to buy the baby a pressie and needed to know if it is a boy or a girl!! I pointed out that she could wait until it is born or get a gender neutral present! She tried to suggest my DH find out the sex, not tell me but tell her!!

re eating: I am the same, not stopped eating since about week 19! Mostly healthy stuff, but have a thing for salt and vinegar squares and cottage cheese!!

Better get back to doing some work! Pants day in the office and would really prefer to be at home with my feet up!

Hey Lillabet. Have the same issue with a very old friend of mine. She's trying to get pregnant and seemed surprised that it didn't happen straight away. Then we went through 8 - 9 months of IUI treatments and it was like life was ending for her. I am sympathetic and know what's she's going through but wanted to shout 'we've been trying for 7 years, so if you're having it tough try my life !' When I finally got pregnant in November/ December and kept it more than a few weeks, I felt she was actually a bit arsey with me.

Difficult now as she's progressing to IVF and I'm about halfway through and finally believe that this is probably going to happen at long last. I try and remember how I felt when everyone I knew got pregnant (multiple times in some cases) and I didn't for all those years. So I try and remember to call on critical dates and just ask about her and put 'me' on hold, trying not to rub it in. In the end I want the friendship to survive this and I know that she's really pleased for me, just caught up in her own problems at the moment. But then she doesn't ring me 3 - 4 times a day to moan ...

I have to say I adore figleaves and got my latest batch of mat/ nursing bras from them. The relief of soft supportive bras after the rubbish ones I got in the department store ! I'm 34FF so really needed as much support as possible. I've got a particularly ugly 'nude' one that's great.

My appetite's picked up a bit too but having the worst heartburn. Not made better by downing a litre of fresh orange juice the other night and then throwing up/ having acid reflux/ heartburn all night and yesterday. Didin't bother with supper last night - just went to bed and lay there groaning. And waking up with pain-in-the-bump and then dreaming about bleeding; another great night ! And can't wait for the next scan to make sure everything's OK after all.

maidinamerica you summed up how I feel about my friend who I mentioned a few posts ago. I do want our friendship to survive, she is very important to me, but i do feel so let down by her. Saw her today and she was actually much better than she has been for a long time. I think our chat yesterday helped.

Got 4 kids for tea today so house is being trashed and doors slammed as we speak! Hence i am trying to ignore it all by being on mumsnet!! Must go and try to cook up something healthy for them to eat in a minute!! I'm having curry tonight.....will I regret that later on!?

I bought my Phil & Teds today! Got it online from Practical Pushchairs and it was £70 cheaper than John Lewis. yaaaaaay!
I have been a domestic goddess all day - here's what I've achieved today:
done painting with DD (SUCH a messy palaver!) and been out for a walk with her bike, played in her sandpit, read her stories, fed her 3 proper hot made-from-scratch-then-and-there meals, cooked a big batch of parsnip soup with some squashy parsnips that were hanging about, had a friend and her toddler round for tea, cooked stewed shin of beef with carrots,onions and mashed potatoes and peas for everyone's supper (takes 3 hrs that does!), and after supper made a batch of posh meatballs in tomato sauce, caught up on laundry, cleaned out some kitchen cupboards, washed up and tidied the kitchen after all that culinary activity and tidied the whole house. Phew! is that quite impressive or am I just really lazy the rest of the time?
I am abslutely shattered now and only just sitting down for first time all day.

I think I may have come across as really intolerant of my friend. I am trying not be and I do really want to keep our friendship. I am just finding it all a bit much when she does the "Oh, waily, waily, waily!" thing. My blood pressure goes through the roof (actually tested this out of curiosity)!
Thanks for all the feedback on the situation, I really appreciate it
Belgrano sounds like you had one heck of a day!

is anyone due in July 2009 and living in Stoke Newington? just wondersing if you are part of the NCT classes ( 8 sessions) that are being helpd in E5 - near hommerton hospital?

Quick dodge in here as just rushing out of work to pick DD up.

Lillabet welcome, and have you tried the 'I'd love to talk to you but right now isn't great - how about XX day at XX time? I can give you my full and undivided attention then'. Got that from my peer supporters course - absolute live saver in all sorts of situation. Found that most people react well to being put off if they know for definite when they will be able to talk. Worth a try?

Coughing so hard I've started chucking up again .