Fab Feb Thread: 22 on show........33 to go.......!!!!

[spottyshoes]

Ooo I feel all important now.

[SomeMightSay]

Spotty It takes me a minute to work out who I am too!
laidback That is funny. All the harder to tell them off when they're being cute or that funny.
swampster nice!!!

Thanx for all your advice yesterday re the monkey hitting the baby. Was very useful. I also started not 1 but 2 threads in behaviour/development about it and got some really good replies there too, so today is a brand new day with new ways of handling it all, so we'll see how it goes. I think I'll wait a while for the naughty step though, although he understands no, not sure if he's ready to understand the concept of the naughty step, but we shall see.

[herbgarden]

laidback that's hilarious. Must hide those permanent markers or DD might get herself a moustache.

I was at a friends last friday with DS and 3 toddlers. We were in one room and we thought they were playing in the conservatory. It all went quiet. I went through to find they'd all escaped into garden and were charging around with no shoes on. They must have worked out how to open the door . Good job it was enclosed otherwise our 2.5 year olds might have been playing with the traffic.

[littlesez]

KT Isobella was well worth it she does put a smile on my face every time i look at her, so loved up

swampy thanks for breast shells link, going to mothercare later anyway for nursing vests.

coco glad things are easing for you, me too and so relieved

dinky thank you so so much for your replies. Part of me thinks I am over reacting/being over sensitive as things could have been worse but I just keep going over it and makes me upset. Really appreciate your support, what was it helped you with ds1

sms Thanks for your post, very kind. I asked to have a debrief re birth but they kind of brushed it off, said that everything was done for a reason and that was pretty much it ??? Thing is they were all busy delivering more babies! I was offered counselling though. I wish I could help you with your little one. But I do think your right about the mixed messages.Hopefully it is just a phase and he will adjust very soon for you. Big hugs

spotty CONGRATULATIONS my visitors are still coming, we have had to tell people that with hubby going back to work Monday we need time by ourselves. They understand if you explain but it is so overwhelming I agree

LMN cheers for the hugs, I do feel better for sharing

funny story, was changing Isobella's nappy yesterday when she did a projectile poo! I have never seen/heard anything like it, it exploded across the room all over the carpet and me! Her little innocent face was a picture. When I answered the door to sil i had poo all over my pants and leaked milk patches, very attractive. I suppose I should get use to being covered in/smelling of poo, sick, wee and milk!

[Calico1]

laidback and swampster - very funny about your DC's antics.

DS is really good with DD so far - but is punishing us instead...

[dinkystinky]

Love the toddler stories Laidback and Swampster! DS1 keeps nicking all toys/presents for the baby (even though he's been given tonnes of new toys/presents too by visitors) and showing Daniel how to play with them - most kind He seems to be getting the idea of "gentle" with baby but not the idea of not coughing/sneezing in baby's face..

LittleSez - what I did was (i) get in touch with PALS (Patient Liason Service) at the hospital to get a copy of my notes and went through them (ii) wrote a huge letter of complaint (detailing everything that happened) to the hospital, to the senior midwife, the chief executive of the hospital, the consultant midwife and everyone else I could find details for - was most cathartic - and as a result of it there was an internal enquiry, debrief meeting and the evil midwife from hell was retrained so she could not inflict her medieval ways on any other poor first time mums (iii) spoke to my postnatal doulas and my old NCT teacher about the experience and my lovely old community midwife who were all lovely and let me cry it out - if you have people you can talk to and cry it out with it makes such a difference (iv) joined a local breastfeeding support group and went religiously every week for the first couple of months - you meet lots of new mums there, some of whom have had rough times too - and its a great support network and great to talk things out at (v) took DS1 and me off to a cranial osteopath to try to help with the damage to our respective bodies from the delivery - made a huge difference to both of us and (vi) once I could walk properly, made a habit of getting out at least once a day with DS1 - for a walk, to the library for rhyme time (wasted on DS1 at that age but nice for me to learn all the nursery rhymes and meet local mums), to breastfeeding support group, to mum and baby NCT meet ups, to baby massage (which DS1 LOVED)etc - getting out and about stopped me dwelling on things. I also started meditating to help get over the reliving the birth experience - it helped so much - and by 2 months after the birth I was dancing with DS1 in the kitchen and my DH said "its so good to see you back"... It takes time to get over things being so different to how you thought they would be with the birth, but you do get over it with time and doing all you can to help yourself heal - I promise it does get much easier.

[dinkystinky]

P.s. soon need to move to postnatal thread now we're all back posting - better get thinking about new thread titles ladies and suggesting them.

My suggestion - "Fab Feb 2009: attack of the zombie mums..."

Also please place your nominations for (i) best birth saga (ii) funniest birth story (iii) quickest birth in the west (think Laidback may have aced that one!) and (iv) most ridiculous bit of advice received from a HV/Midwife.

Special awards are going to all the snow babies (so that's Swampster, MsLucy, LMN and McDreamy I think - any other snow babies out there?)

[KazzaL]

Hello - thanks for all your congrats messages and congrats to all those whose babies have arrived since I last made it on, but DH has now gone back to work and little Ben seems to be starting to sleep a bit between feeds during the day now instead of just feeding constantly - so I may get a few mins to myself

So Ben's arrival - had really pathetic contractions all monring and afternoon - really irregular & only lasting 10-15secs, so finsihsed off the nursery curtains in the morning and went to a friends in the afternoon. Got home after picking up DS1 form nursery about 6 - getting a bit more regular now....phoned friend who was going to have DS for us and warned her to expect us, chnaged our minds about 6.45 and decided to take DS over to friends before bedtime, so he didn't get disturbed in the middle of the night. Dropped him off just after 7, got my tens machine out and sat on my ball watching DIY SOS while DH had a shower and did the washing up, thinking we were in for a long night..... anyway by the time Homes under the Hammer came on at 8pm I was starting to feel the urge to push, so after a couple more contractions I decided to phone the hosp, described what had happened so far and said could I be imagining that I wanted to push already, but they said to come in. Horrendous drive to hosp keeping my legs very firmly crossed and got up to delivery about 8.50....mw examined me just after 9 - I was 8cm dilated, but could start pushing if i needed to, the membranes came out intact about 9.10 and then popped next contraction...head started appearing and mw told me to breathe and not push which was so hard but i was determined to pay attention this time round in the hope i wouldn't tear so badly...pulled the nozzle off the gas and air pipe and it felt like ages before anyone paid any attention to my whimpers....then Ben slid out at 9.14.

Rather embarrassed at the speed of things - probably just as well we are not planning a DC3 as we might not make it to hosp next time.

There was meconium in the waters, but old meconium, so they had to cut the cord straight away which I didn't really want so the paed could check him over and then my placenta still hadn't come out after almost 2hrs and so i had to have the injection which I also didn't want.

But we did get to transfer to the small mw-led unit the next morning where we stayed for 5 days till my ensuite was finsihed and the house back to normal. The mw's there were great - lots of bf help. Ben fed constnantly for the 1st 48hrs so my milk came in really quickly and then he decided to sleep for a day!! He's got a small tongue-tie and knackered in my nipples in the first day, so starting using nipple shields, buti've been able to stop using them now which is good. Had mastitis and also got shingles again as I did after DS1 was born, so it's been a rollercoaster couple of weeks. But I can finally see the light at the end of the tunnel

[SomeMightSay]

herb Isn't it funny how they learn to do these things all of a sudden. Good job it was enclosed!
littlesez If you think talking through your birth will help you get the closure from a traumatic experience and think it will help you deal with all that happened and get over it, then make sure you do get the counselling or birth reflections. Don't let them brush you off, a traumatic birth is one of the hardest things to accept and recover from and deal with. It is not something that you have to go through on your own.
I'm sure I've said it before but when I look back on the months after ds1 was born I am sure I had a mild case of PND, but at the time thought I had valid reasons for doing/acting in the way I was, and I put that wholly down to a difficult delivery and a complete lack of care and support from hospital staff. Not saying that this will happen to you, but it wasn't until a few months ago that I actually accepted that I may have suffered from this condition which is why I'm trying to keep a check on my emotions and everything now.
Oh dear re poo story. Lovely!! I've been very lucky so far, poo no further than over my hands and only been pee'd on twice! yay
Kaz That all sounds pretty good apart from the cutting of the cord and the placenta, but all in all not too bad at all. Well done. I love the name, I wanted Benjamin for this one.
Dinky Nominations for our group awards. Will have to think about that one, and probably skim read the past 400 threads! Read so many birth stories, they're all starting to merge into one!

Not been too bad this morning. Ds hit Luke so I told him that we don't hit because it hurts and it would upset Luke, then took ds1's hand and stroked it across baby's belly and told ds that baby likes to be stroked and touched gently, and when I let go, ds carried on for a bit so I told him what a good big brother he is and how much Luke looked like he was enjoying it. Ds1 soon lost interest and went back to his puzzles.
They are both asleep so going to hang some washing (inside for me Kaz) and sit and read my book I think.

[PinkTulips]

buggerin internet ate my post again

aaron was weighed today, he's gained a pound in the last week and is now 9lbs 7 oz so the PHN is happy with him and we won't have to see her again.... thank the gods!

dinky, love the thread title

my nominations would be
(i) best birth saga ... dunno, a fair few had epic births but my heart really went out to spotty with her 3 weeks of contractions

(ii) funniest birth story ... i had to laugh reading nkweto's birth story when she told about having to get a cab to the hospital in hard labour as i can just imagine the milage the cabbie is going to get out of that story for the next 20 years!

(iii) quickest birth in the west ... no contest there i think... laidback has it in the bag

(iv) most ridiculous bit of advice received from a HV/Midwife ... feel obliged to nominate my PHN for this one for giving out to me for bringing aaoron to the docs with his manky cord stump as 'we wouldn't be worried unless it smelled bad' never mind that it was oozing green gunk and wasn't healing... it smelled alright

aaron wasn't a snow baby but he was an ice baby, we drove on sheet ice to the hospital and my mother barely made it here to mind the kids due to the ice... was great fun walking out to the car having monstor contractions and skating on the ice... not!

littlesez.... one of the joys of motherhood is realising halfway round the shops that you have vomit/poo/miscellaneous gunk on your top. by your second you no longer care and by your third you don't even notice halfway round the shops... you spot it as it gets taken off that night and think 'i wonder how long that was there?'

[dinkystinky]

KazzaL - nice to see you online and glad Ben is doing well. Nice birth story (except for the third stage and meconium bit - hope neither of those were too scary for you) and great you got to chill out in the MLU while the ensuite was getting finished!

Pinktulips -great that Aaron has put on so much weight - you must have uber-milk!

SMS - glad today is a better day in your household; hope the new regime lasts

[Calico1]

Finally DD is putting on weight - 4oz in 2 days - hurrah! Though probably due to formula top ups......but until she is back up to birth weight I'll continue with both as it seems to be working.

Finally think I am producing a bit more milk - I was expressing some last night but had not screwed the bottle onto the pump properly and ended up with most of it in my lap - doh!

PT Glad Aaron's doing so well - a pound in a week is impressive!

KazzaL sounds like a pretty good birth story despite the last bits.

[spottypushedherbabyout]

Yes, good thread title yet again Dinky. Very apt - I discovered Sam doesn't get on with garlic flavoured milk....got to bed at 5.45 this morning

PT what is it with supposed HP's and the need to make mums feel like shite/obsession with weight? Glad you and Aaron have been discharged now.

A MW has been out this morning and Sam is 7lbs 4oz. Supposedly losing 8% (I'm not convinced his birth weight was right tbh as MW support lady was a bit dim) She made tutting noises at me and said we needed to work on a feeding plan I shouted at her politely told her to ram it. I've fed DS1 for nearly 23 mths, Sam has wet and dirty nappies, feeds on demand and is happy. Stupid cow.

Birth saga (yes my lead up did feel like one ) I would have to say TBM, Laidback of course gets the fastest. Will have to think about the others.

Was just about to do the ironing but S is up and demanding a feed (poor scrawny underfed mite ) A much welcomed diversion methinks!!

[dinkystinky]

Hurray Calico for Lilian putting on weight - must be a relief. And if you've found something that works for you and L then definitely stick with it - particularly if it puts your mind to rest (happy mum, happy baby etc.).

And Spotty - well done you on telling the MW to put it where the sun doesnt shine Had a similar experience with Danny not getting on with sushi flavoured milk (kept telling him all the omega 3 oils were good for him but he wasnt buying it) - these babies are pesky little people arent they? But lovely with it of course...

Made it to bf clinic today to see if the counsellors could suggest anything to help Danny with my vicious let down - they've suggested biological nursing position (basically you lie back at 45 degrees and lie the baby on you with their head on your boob and let them go to it) which have used several times today and Danny seems to be getting the hang of it though does feel v odd. Anyone else tried this position for breast feeding?

[dinkystinky]

P.s. anybody else's baby making bizarre noises for most of the night (but absolutely silent for their daytime naps)? Remember DS1 was pretty noisy sleeper but Danny is even noisier - its like sharing a bedroom with a misfunctioning percolator or a Beavis and Butthead convention...

[mcdreamy]

calico you must be so relieved - well done Lilian!

Congrats Spotty welcome to the world Ben! Lovely name (I have a Ben and he's scrummy )

Can I nominate the registrar who examined me when I turned up to delivery on the day Abi was born for the most ridiculous advice reward - he said he didn't think I needed to be sectioned that day as my contractions weren't strong enough, to go home (in the snow) and come back in when I was contracting 1 in 3 mins - at that point he would section me! The midwife was stood behind him frantically shaking her head mouthing "Please come in earlier than that"!!

He discharged me but the midwives stopped me from going as they weren't happy with his advice. They kept me in and Abi was born a few hours later - by his consultant!!!!!

[mcdreamy]

Yes Dinky I have a noisy night time sleeper but a silent day time napper -lol at Beavis and Butthead but that's exactly what she sounds like!

[swampster]

dinky, that sounds like the position I often feed in at night when he wants to feed but needs to burp and I can't be arsed am too tired to burp him. It has the added benefit that he will usually burp himself and carry on feeding .

spotty, I had exactly the same re: weight and midwives... A friend who is a GP thinks I should report her - they are supposed to be supporting breastfeeding, not undermining your confidence completely.

The good news is Jacob's weight is picking up. But he is still a scrawny chicken.

[MarkStretch]

Dinky I have a baby who grunts, squeaks, squeals, belches and lifts one leg to fart. Seriously.

I think it's because they're male

[SomeMightSay]

PT A pound a week? That's great news, the little porker!
Agree with the not notice certain stuff all over clothes and not caring. I was with a friend the other day feeding the baby and when I rested him over my shoulder to wind, she went into a bit of a panic saying she'd get me a cloth or napkin to put under him incase he's sick, my reply "I have a 3 week old baby, I'm supposed to smell of baby sick"
dinky Didn't really go too well in the end, well it wasn't bad I suppose, ds1 got up from his nap so we read some books together, did a bit of colouring and a puzzle, Luke woke for his feed but I left him for a bit and carried on with ds1 and the puzzle, ds started saying "bubba" so I said, "come on then, lets go see what's the matter" I picked Luke up for a hug and told ds1 to kiss him better, then put Luke down to get his bottle. I put some dry pasta in a plastic bowl for ds1 and gave him the egg whisk, he loved that while I was feeding baby, I started a nappy change after on the sofa, ds1 came over and started hitting him (softly), so I said we don't hit blah blah blah, but he carried on and in the end I gave ds a tap on the wrist, he threw himself on the floor crying felt so awful. When Luke's nappy was secure I got on the floor and gave ds a hug and then he was fine. He hasn't hit baby since though. I am not proud of myself......nevermind, will try again tomorrow. Dp thinks that is how I should be letting ds know he's done wrong as that's the only way he'll learn but I said to him surely that's like ds breaking dp's watch and then dp breaking ds's favourite toy to teach him a lesson, just doesn't make sense! Dp is from a completely different school of thought than me, it must be an age thing.
Calico Fantastic news about Lilian putting weight on, sure you'll be off the top-ups soon.
dinky Yes on the night noises! It is very weird, I kept picking him up thinking it must be wind, but after a few nights I actually realised that he didn't look uncomfortable so I just leave him. Ds1 is a loud sleeper too, but so is dp and me (apparently, but I think not)

I was told by mw at the hospital that if my boobs started feeling uncomfortable while the milk was coming in and drying up that I should hand express some to relieve the pain . I just kind of nodded and said ok, then muttered, idiot as she left!

MS at baby lifting leg to fart!

Luke is now 1 month old, and it seems that he sleeps all the time. Don't get me wrong, I am not complaining, it's just odd because ds1 never slept, and I mean ever!

[PinkTulips]

aaron slept all afternoon! was very bizarre, he kept half heartedly squaking and i'd run around getting changing gear organised and he went back to sleep! of course then he woke up just as dp came in the door and dinner needed doing, lol.

dinky, i do find that aaron copes far better with my milk spraying right boob if i'm on the couch leaning back so i tend to let him cluster feed from that side all evening on the couch and then use the other side mostly at night. he still has alot of difficulty during the day when he's on the right side though although seems to be gradually getting more efficient at just swallowing what he can and letting the rest pour all over the pair of us, we both end up soaked but at least he's not spluttering and choking and ending up screaming in fright!

off to do baths now... so incredibly not in the mood

[rosieposey]

Hello everyone - apologies for not posting for ages have been super tired like everyone else and have had a bit of a saga with cs wound too.

Congrats to everyone ( spotty )(Kazzal - did you deliver at Swindon GW? ) (littlesez ) whom ive missed whilst not being here who have had their babies Milo is 4 weeks tomorrow and i cannot believe how fast its gone.

Lol at description of boy babies making all that fuss just to let one rip - Milo is exactly like that too. He is the noisiest baby ive ever had with his grunting and groaning! Know exactly what you mean Dinky as Milo stirs and makes a sound a bit like a goat infact DH and i say 'oh the babys goating again, lol - it really must just be a boy thing.

Can definately nominate Milo as a snow baby - DH had to be dug out of snow drifts twice to get the the hospital and there were no doctors or midwives till midday as they all needed 4x4ing and air ambulancing in to the hospital it was so bad hence him being born so late in the afternoon - Feb 6th was a very snowy day

[dinkystinky]

Hmm, mini rant coming up - am furious at not so DH who rolled in steaming drunk at 7 today (from a day at work in Manchester which was clearly spent mostly drinking) - he KNOWS DS1 is ill, I've got DS1's bloody cold (which both he and DS1 gave to me) and am not sleeping much at night due to DS2 so could really do with him pulling his weight in the evening with DS1's storytime and helping with grizzly DS2 (who tends to grizzle until 10ish) and it was his turn to cook tonight but decided to get steaming drunk instead. He will not be getting any bloody sympathy in the morning

Rosie - forgot Milo was a definite snow baby too!

Right, off to deal with cranky Danny...

[rosieposey]

Aww Dinky sorry that DH is being a wally - wait till the morning and hide all of the resolve and paracetamols - Milo is a bit of a grizzlebum too - it accompanys all of the other noises he makes but sometimes he just grizzles and cries till hes picked up and even then sometimes carries on. Hope you feel better soon - dont know if you can take cold remedies with bfing?

[herbgarden]

dinky - you have my utmost sympathy on the DH front although generally your DH sounds pretty good on the helping out front. Hope you gave him a suitably withering look and told him that dinner was in the dog.

DH and I had a huge row (although I think this consisted of me yelling at him) last night as I just wanted him to acknowledge that after nearly 6 weeks of being awake pretty much from 2am - 7am that perhaps I was a bit tired and fed up and maybe if last night he could have got off work earlier he could have come home and done bath bed etc, cooked me dinner instead of buggering off to the driving range. He was very silent as I was yelling at him. He then arrived home at 6.30pm tonight and did bath and bed for DS (DD in bed at 6.30pm after passing out in a milk induced coma)....we haven't discussed last night but he knows .

rosie I love that word "wally"...made me chuckle. It's kind of inoffensive really isn't it.

Had quite a nice day today with DS and DD. Went to soft play and then pottered around locally this afternoon going to library and coffee shop although DS lost it in the coffee shop whilst DD was also screaming and I very nearly lost it too. Managed to pull it together and finish my coffee before I embarassed myself in front of this very sympathetic lady of a certain age .

DD is finally getting to a stage where maybe some simple clothes might be a nice idea (if she stayed awake long enough to be vaguely sociable) - she just drifts from one babygro to the next depending on how much sick/poo she's covered herself in. I've been looking online tonight - god there are some cute things for girls ! I feel a splurge coming on....

DD Is NOISY too...but I was also just thinking at 3am this morning that during the day she is so peaceful I have to lean in to see if she's still breathing so why does this happen at night. I have spent enough nights in with her now to know that the grunts don't amount to much but I just wonder how she can possibly get a restful sleep with that noise and writhing going on. I'm glad they're all doing it - DS did but I didn't think it was this bad. I shove the earplugs in and try to switch off - I can then usually only hear the crying.

Off to bed now. Back tomorrow !

[lardybump]

Just quickly popping on to say hi. Struggling at the moment so I have not been on as much as i would like.... DS is just waking up again now so will be demanding another feed.... Well it has been an hour dont you know!!!!!!

Will be back later...