Fab Feb Thread: 22 on show........33 to go.......!!!!

[spottyshoes]

Ooo I feel all important now.

Congratulations Spotty....sorry, forgot to congratulate you yesterday

Littlesez....your birth story bought tears to my eyes....my first birth was a totally different experience to yours, but just as traumatic....and it took me a long time to come to terms with it all....you done the right thing getting it all typed out - I done exactly the same thing. Hugs to you and your gorgeous DD

SMS - we have introduced a naughty step in this house (not just for being rough with the baby...everything!) and so far, has been successful. We were struggling to get DD to understand she was being told off / punished however we done it...shouting / taken away from situation / tap on the hand etc etc. She just ignored us / laughed / carried on doing it whilst watching for our reaction but rarely cried or stopped doing it or done as she was told. I cannot have an undisciplined child (I have enough friends with DCs like that . So I have made her sit on the bottom stair, where I say to her (quite calmly) "you are sitting here because you have been naughty....I've told you not to do XXXX and you still done it, so you sit there until you can be a nice little girl and say sorry." For the first couple of go's, I caught her peering around the corner on her tummy to see the tele () and I told her to sit still until I said. After a couple of minutes, I said to her "Do you want to say sorry?", and I get a big hug and kiss and a "sorry mummy". So far, so good. We've had a fair few tears / screaming / tantrums so far as well, but she will get there. I try to be much more gentle around DS as I don't want her to feel pushed out, so I never leave the 2 of them on their own, ask her to help me as much as I can (I even let her wipe his bum sometimes!), and like Swampster, tell her what a fantastic big sister she is and how much E loves her for being gentle with him.

Hope that helps - just my experiences though. I have a very headstrong little girl....don't know where she gets it from

DS is constantly being called "good girl" in this house......and even when I get it right and say "good boy", DD comes straight in and says, "good girl"

Spotty - DS2 is the spitting image of DS1 so we kept calling him DS1's name all the time for the first couple of weeks!

Swampster/SMS - we're taking the "you're a wonderful big brother" approach with DS1 too and am hoping that he will take the hint eventually. Though he's still being uber clingy and wanting huggies all the time and crying so much it makes me feel really sad - though suspect on top of his cold he has an ear infection coming as his ear is burning hot so am hoping alot of it is him just feeling ill... ho hum. SMS - dont know how big your living room is but my friend with a similar age gap between her 2 boys ended up getting a playpen/crib for DS2 to keep in her living room to keep DS2 safe from DS1 until he got the message that harrassing the baby is not on... maybe worth a try?

I keep calling DS by random names: Fergus, Angus (which are both a bit like Rufus), but also eg Hector, Oscar, which are nothing like!

Also said to my friend the other day blah blah when I'm dealing with all 3 girls, blah blah. She's like but you don't have 3 girls... I also referred to DS as "she" in hospital, but the MW either didn't notice, didn't care or didn't know I'd actually got a DS.

littlesez bfing is still painful, but not as painful, and there's been no bleeding from the nipples for a few days. The days DS was vomitting my blood were a bit of a low point in the Coco household.

Yep - I keep calling DD 'him' or by DS's name. They look so similar and I'm not used to having a girl baby!

I said I had four under five the other day - I only have three!

Well its hard to keep count Swampster when you get beyond 2 and have baby brain to contend with....

Thanx everyone.
LMN How old is your dd again? DS is 19months (today), is that not too young for naughty step? I prefer the idea of that than the constant shouting and like your dd, I don't thibk he understands he's being told off!
dinky we do have room in the lounge (check me!!!) but think ds1 would just throw things in there, although he doesn't with the basket might be worth a go.

You've got a challenging couple of years head, SMS! DS1 was 27 months when DS2 came along and that was hard enough.

I think some of the time you have to take a step back and realise the baby can wait - so if they are both kicking off, sort out the bigger on first because he needs to know he is still important.

Swampster Yes, I'd read that somewhere. I do still try t let ds know he isn't being pushed out, we have lots of hugs and try to play as often as possible, but maybe next time the baby cries, I will leave it a few mins before I leave ds1.
It is going to be tough isn't it? Will be all worth it in a few years though

SMS - DD is 21 months.....she seems to understand (so far)....she's getting plenty of practice

Lol LMN might give it a try.....

it'll be fine sms... 18 months between my older 2 and we're all still alive 2.5 years on

Thanx PT. I know we'll get through it It's just difficult at the moment. Thousands of people have been where I am now and have survived and if they can do it, I can do it, not the first person with this problem and certainly won't be the last.
Thanks all for reasurances though, you all really are a wonderful support team.

Excuse me while I climb out of various fab febbers arses!

I called DD my DS's name in front of the HV yesterday when she was weighing her - I then worried she thought I might have stolen her from somewhere !!......

The first week I called her Ds's name and also my friends baby's name constantly.

I can't get my head round the fact that she's a she

Sorry, am too knackered to read everything else. I am sooo tired I am going to bed when DS does. DH has phoned to ask if it's "ok" to go the driving range en route home... Sod the fact that I might like him to bath DS or make dinner as he's able to come home from work early ....Dinner might well be in the dog when he gets in .

PS SMS - second the playpen thing. My sil put her baby's babygym in there and her DS3 loved it and it stopped the slightly over enthusiastic DS2 from trampling him....

herb When we all saw hv on monday, I was talking abut ds1, got halfway through and couldn't remember his name! I pointed at him and said "which one's that?"
Must be the baby brain......
If dp rings me to ask permission I just say no. I am bad aren't I? You'll have to make sure he remembers this for when you want to go out for a bit, tell him when he gets in that you want a child free hour on saturday down the pub or in the highstreet, only fair isn't it?
Am thinking I will get the travel cot from my mum and try putting activity mat in there until ds1 realises how to be nice and gentle.

Hi all, glad to know that others are facing some of the same worries (I have a 21 month gap between our two and ds1 is fascinated by ds2 but liable to do things like leaning all his weight on his brother/the Moses basket, and he's huge for his age (not fat, but large and strong).

be warned though.... i had ds in a travel cot for safety and dd took it into her head that he needed toys and started chucking them in on top of him.... even heavy ones. he was only 6/8 weeks old. damn near gave me heart failure when i turned around and saw what she was doing (why is it they're always so deathly silent when they're doing something really awful?)

PT That's what I'm worried about with the playpen route. dinky suggested it earlier so I typed a reply saying I would be worried about this but then ds doesn't throw things into the mosses basket, just as I hit post, he threw the football in there.......

Phew, just gotten rid of the last visitors and am all for going to bed right this minute! So much for getting chill out time with your newborn

Lol at some of the sibling stories (although I know I shouldn't). Bless them. So far DS1 just touches DS2 gently on the head and laughs at "Baby Damn". I'm sure that will change when he realises he's here to stay and he really needs to be shown a plastic Thomas the Tank Engine right now!

Talking of name confusion - took me a minute to work out who you were SMS! I've missed so much since the beginning of the thread. Congrats to the last 20 or so people I missed who have their babies

DS3 (23 months) hasn't thrown anything at Mabel yet, but during one of the brief times I have put her down in her bouncy chair, DS3 drew all over her forehead with a black pen. I couldn't get angry as it was very funny. I asked him who did it and he blamed DS2 who was at school !! Naughty monkey.

Congrats Spotty !!

That's hysterical, laidback

Mental note to hide all pens

So today DS2 sits on the potty and does a poo - a few poos, in fact. "That's the baby poo... the other two are the brother poos."