Fab Feb Thread: 22 on show........33 to go.......!!!!

[spottyshoes]

Ooo I feel all important now.

Wow congrats to Spotty...welcome Sam [FAB NAME BY THE WAY [WINK]]....Have a lovely bath.

PS - sorry forgot to say that my anti-b's seem for now (crossed fingers) to be making an impact. So, hope the rest of the CS ladies on the anti-b's for wound infection are getting results. I'm on Flucloxicillin this time - the last one was a general anti-b. It lists cellulitis as a condition to treat which is the name for the infection you can get in your wound (apparently)....
Byeee

Rufus is very delicious, Coco.

awwwww, isobella is curled up on daddy's chest, it's her favourite place, makes me wanna cry!

Nkweto HAPPY BIRTHDAY

Finding it hard to get onto the internet and will be a new thread soon, will it be a post natal one next? has everyone had their babies?

Breast feeding is getting a little bit easier, it hurts so much and i was getting conflicting advise from different people. some were saying it shouldn't hurt your not latched on properly. But it seems to me she is? I know it sounds daft but i think she just has a really hard suck!

Im finding it all so overwhelming, silly things. I think she needs changing but it upsets her when i do so when she is asleep i leave her, but then what if she gets nappy rash? And sometimes she can sleep for hours and don't want to wake her for feed but been told not to leave her longer than 4 hours, surely she would wake up if she was that hungry? Also she hates being put down and loves cuddling so much, i feel quite happy to hold her all day between us but is this wrong?

Does anyone else think like this, i'm unsure of so much!

I love mumsnet so much, wish i could spend more time on here xxx

wee. Just got back on-line after all rellies have left but now have to get to Niamh who may be about to eat her daddy's shirt!!

spotty Congrats on baby Samuel, sounds like birth was pretty good too. We've missed you.
herb Thanx for feeding reassurance. There's no way that I would leave him much longer than 4 hours if I can help it, he has gone 5 hours if we've been going somewhere and stuck in traffic or waiting a long time for bus but I think 4 hourly is quite long enough and me too with ds 1 right up til we weaned at 5.5 months, he took 7oz every 4 hours.
Glad the AB's are working, bet you feel so much better.
littlesez Think we're all like that with the worry over everything, especially with the first. With ds1, I changed his nappy before the feed so if he fell asleep after/during I wouldn't need to disturb him. Think most babies, definitely mine, hate having nappy's changed even when they're wide awake, I still have battles with Jacob and he's nearly 2!
As I've said above, I'm not leaving Luke longer than 4 hours for a feed as agree with herb that if there is a regular pattern during the day and I know he's having enough, we might not be up all night. I wouldn't wake her at night for a feed but you have to do what you think Isobella needs, you'll be suprised at how well you already know her and know her needs, trust what your instincts tell you.
Holding your baby all day isn't wrong, again it's your baby, your call.

Ds1 is screaming now, must go. He is not getting into my bed tonight.

Uh-oh, just noticed I have another baby that's got Flat Head Syndrome. Bugger. Gonna have to try to do something to help this time because it's the side of the head, not the back.

Morning all. LittleSez - you're a typical new mother; as SMS says, its totally normal to worry about anything and everything, but you work it out (eventually). Re the breastfeeding: are you nipples still really sore? If you're using lanisoh and airing them regularly (breastshells in your bra are good for this though they do give you a wierd shape - they're also really good for expressing a little milk out as you get engorged which takes the edge off your engorgement) your nipples will toughen up and after that, if her latch is right, it shouldnt hurt to BF. If your nipples are still sore, it will still hurt. Am sure you've been told this millions of time but do make sure Isobella is taking in your nipple and some areola when she feeds - you can tell if she's feeding properly as you'll see her entire jaw working away at feeding as opposed to just her mouth sucking away. If you can get to a breastfeeding clinic and have a counsellor watch her feed, they'll be able to let you know if it is the latch.

Re changing - I generally try to change Danny when he's in a good mood (so if he's woken up from long sleep but not hungry yet; if he's had a long feed but is in wakeful alert mode as opposed to ready to kip) or if I know he's got a mega poo in there (honestly, the child is a once or twice a day poo vending machine!). If he has had really long sleep and my boobs are about to explode, I'll wake him up by changing him - he never likes that and always protests, but a quick olive oil massage after the change and some cuddles calm him down and then he's ready to feed. If my boobs arent about to explode, I'll leave him be and always leave him be at night times (so last night when he moved to 4 hourly feeds I was in agony until I remembered where I put my breast shells - oh, the bliss...)

And re cuddling - you cuddle away if you want to! There is no right and wrong way to care for your baby - just lots of different ways - and once you've got other children around, you never get as many uninterrupted cuddling time opportunities as you did with your first born so if you want to cuddle her 24/7, go for it...

And yep, I think when this thread is used up we should move to the postnatal thread. Now our Spotty is back with us (we were obviously all holding back on posting until she returned), hopefully we'll be able to use it up in no time

SMS - oh no, did DS1 have flat head syndrome too? Will you need to see GP about it or can it be corrected by getting Luke to lie on the other side mostly? I know I've said it millions of times before, but maybe cranial osteopathy might help too (certainly helped DS1 with his distress due to cranial pressure due to mismanaged induction).

Morning all

Coco- what a gorgeous boy- such a serious little face!

I drove for the first time since F arrived this morning, was ok, I hadn't forgotten how but he watched me the whole way to school with his beady little eyes.

Spotty- I am very proud of you and your VBAC- well done my woman.

I am going to B&Q with my Dad today to look at paint for our room and to price up a fence for the back garden as next door's dog keeps getting through and crapping in our garden and I'VE HAD ENOUGH!

Dinky Ds1 was a forcep baby so he had a higher risk of having FHS anyway, he had a habit or resting his head to one side so I moved things like mobiles etc to the other side of the cot and used a rolled up towel to hold his head in other places during the day, but the whole of the back of his head is completely flat, paed said it would correct itself as he grows and isn't spning so much time laying on his head, but it's still flat now.
Luke settles better on his right side, which is why that bit's starting to go flat.
Do't think gp or anyone can do much about it, I am not paying 2k for the plastic helmet they have to wear for 23 hours a day. Might mention it to hv, see what she says to do.

I need to find some M&B clubs or something here for ds1, he is so frustrated! Gonna speak to hv about that too, ask at sure start centre, and might log on to netmums, see what's on there.

MS I read your post and thought, why the f is she looking at paint and fences at a bbq? And why is she going to a bbq in march? I've really got to start reading every word carefully! Hope you get what you're looking for.

littlesez could it be the latch looks ok,but your nipple is not far in enough, and rubbing against hard palate rather than softer palate further back? I think that's where my problems have been.

herb i've been prescribed the same anti-biotic: it's the first choice of AB here, so weird they gave you a general one to start with. At least its healing well now - that must be such a relief.

littlesez.... bf can hurt in the beginning even if the latch is right. aaron is my third and my nipples are presumably quite tough as ds1 was feeding til round about xmas, and his latch is absolutely fantastic but it still hurts sometimes. sometimes it's the nipple that's sore... almost bruised feeling and i also get a very painful letdown which bf-ing 'experts' don't accept can happen but i have spoken to a few other mners who have had it too so it's not my imagination. all this stuff eases after a few weeks though honestly.... it's hard with your first because it really does make you wonder if you can cope long term when every feed hurts but before you know it it'll be plain sailing and you'll start to forget it ever hurt.

as for changing her if she's asleep..... i have never and will never wake a baby to change them..... i'm a firm believer in letting a sleeping baby sleep. if it becomes uncomfortable for her she will wake up honestly! i use a little vaseline after every change to protect their bums from the poo. i change before every feed so that if baby dozes off while feeding they have a nice clean nappy on already and don't need to be rewoken.

same goes for feeding... if she's hungry she will wake, waking to feed is a pointless exercise as if they're not hungry they won't take as much and will be hungry sooner... on top of which you're training her never to be able to sleep for longer than 4 hours.

as for cuddles.... put it this way... i made dinner again last night one handed as i couldn't bare to put aaron down..... they are tiny for such a short time i wholeheartedly believe that they should be cuddled every hour of the day if it's feasible to do so.... this time goes so quickly and no matter how much you adore your independant, cheeky toddler you will always miss these early days of quiet snuggles on the couch and a contented little baby dozing in you arms.

MS.... pmsl at F watching you drive.... all 3 off mine could be instantly knocked unconcious by being driven... the older 2 still doze off if it's longer than 20 mins and no matter how hard aaron is shrieking when i put him in he's out for the count by the end of our cul de sac

it's snowing here! not much is landing but it's still nice to look out and see the snow swirling around outside.

aaron is a real little mummies boy btw.... if dp picks him up when he's crying he just keeps crying til i take him and then instantly goes quiet and happy looking.

so nice after the other 2 being the complete opposite from the minute they were born!

Definitely painful let down here too- and sometimes it hurts when I get that 'filling up' feeling.

Sometimes if F hasn't fed for a while, he frantically latches on and sucks so viciously my toes curl. Little vampire.

yeah, i get that sudden random 'o my fucking god someone's stabbed me in the boob' pain in between feeds that i presume is them filling with milk too..... dp finds it quite amusing when i stop in the middle of a sentance and clutch my boob shouting 'fuck!'

honestly though.... i don't know why boobs behave so appallingly in the first few weeks but all this nonsense disappears after a few weeks!

weirdly my boobs don't seem to do engorged anymore... they did when i was pumping in the hosptial but since then they've just been all pathetic and saggy even if he doesn't feed for a few hours. there's tonnes of milk as he's still having issues with being half drowned by righty every feed so not worried in that respect but i did hope to get a little longer looking like jordan before they started to look like old lady boobs again!

Thank you so much, sms dinky pinktulips and coco

I am feeling so overwhelmed its nice to have advise and reassurance from feb mums.My instinct tells me to cuddle all day! Think I will just carry on then I'm sure I will find my way re feeding. My mum had a look at latch and thinks she is well and truly on!

dinky are breast shells different to breast pads? got lansinoh on the go and been using warm flannels before feed and cold after.

coco has it got any easier for you? It just feels to me like she sucks really hard and thats what hurts.

Well I have finally written my birthstory and going to put it on FB group now, even though nothing really bad happened I keep reliving it and it upsets me so thought writing it down might help. I am such a sensitive person and easliy affected by stuff!
xxx

LittleSez - breastshells are different to breast pads (which basically just soak up the excess milk). Breast shells are basically just little plastic shells with holes for ventilation so unlike breast pads, they let the air get to your nipples which will let them heal and toughen up abit between feeds. And re your birth story - I was the same with DS1's birth (in fact I was kept awake at nights reliving it for months after his birth, which didnt help with the new mum knackeredness): talking about it, writing it down and sharing it is really cathartic (or at least I found so) and it does get easier as your baby gets bigger and the birth gets further and further away with each day....

Here you go, little s, breast shells - now where the fuck are mine??? Agree on the pain etc! Thought it would be really easy third time round as I only stopped breastfeeding about eight months ago but ouch!!!

Littlesez Just read your birth story, sorry that you did not get the birth that you had hoped for, but your very right in saying that you have a beautiful daughter now that was delivered safely into the world.
Im sure it was/is hard for you to get your head around it all...but just take a look at baby Isobella & im sure she puts a smile on your face xx

LittleSez - I've replied to you on Facebook but am sending you enormous hugs as I was exactly the same as you after DS1's birth (in 10 different kinds of pain, kind of traumatised by the birth and reliving the birth all the time instead of sleeping etc.). Email me if you want to talk more about your experience and hear what helped me and DS1 - though by putting your birth story down, you've taken a brilliant step as talking about it is so cathartic and really does help the healing process.

Littlesez Just read your birth story. at the on call mw, what a cow!
Ds1 was back to back, laying diagonally and they left me pushing fr over 2 hours before they decided to take me into theatre for a forcep delivery.
I second everything dinky has said too. Maybe when you feel up to it, you could speak to the birth reflections team and go over your notes, it might help. They recommended I do that after ds1 but I didn't want to keep thinking about it, like you I was awfully traumitised by the whole thing and found I couldn't really get any closure and I sometimes still have a good old cry about it when I allow myself to remember the details.
Try to look at the positives though, if you can survive all of that, you can survive pretty much anything and you have the most adorable little baby girl.
I have no doubt that you are and will be a fantastic mum. Isobella is very lucky.

I really need to find some way of getting ds1 to stop hitting, kicking, throwing things etc at baby. It's ok if |I can anticipate his next move and block his hand/feet but I am one person with one pair of hands, one set of eyes and its not always possible. I turned my back for a second to move the bouncy chair earlier and ds1 had his hand over baby's face and was sort of rocking/shaking it from side to side. Luke wasn't fussed, didn't even wake up, but I don't really know how to handle it. At the moment I tell ds in a stern voice "no" and tell him to be gentle and show him how to put things down nicely and how to be gentle with baby, but after 3/4 times of saying no which gets louder each time, I'm turning him round so his back is facing us. Is there anything else I can do? Am getting closer to thinking maybe a tap on the back of the hand might not be such a bad idea, my dad said it worked on me when I was doing this to my baby brother, but isn't that giving mixed messages? It's ok for me to 'hit' him.......Someone help me

Afternoon everyone. Thanks for your well wishes. I'm probably going to be skiiving off again for a few days as we are being overwhelmed with visitors atm. (I think my baby blues will kick in tomorrow as I can feel myself getting tetchy about visitors already)

Sam was fab again last night and slept loads and is actually asleep now in a CRIB it's soooo different from DS1 who wouldn't be put down or sleep at all for ohhhhh 9 mths or so lol

Anyone else struggle not to call DC2 DC1's name 80% of the time?

MW due in a minute. Speak to you all later x

spotty.... i called aaron by ds1's name about 200 times in the first week.... it seems to have imprinted itself on my brain since then though and i rarely do it now... was very embarassing when i did it when talking to consultants and scbu nurses though

SMS, I find that constantly telling DS1 and DS2 (in particular!) what fantastic big brothers they are makes them start to believe it and behave accordingly. DS2 keeps telling anyone who will listen: "J-cup woves me... and I wove J-cup!"

Spotty, DS3 looks like a clone of DS1 but for some reason, DH and I keep calling him by DS2's name.

Little S, so sorry you didn't get the birth you wanted. Agree with the others, talking helps. And concentrating on the wonderful end result.