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Due April 2009 - Festive bumps explode into crimbo, April mums wait in limbo

1002 replies

BabyCRIMBOlat · 15/12/2008 19:48

New thread here (I hope!!)

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Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
SantasNuttySTaff · 18/12/2008 11:24

Think of the wind eating all those cabbages lol

SnowySunshine · 18/12/2008 11:24

Haha, I love the idea that someone would try to eat 3000 cabbages a day. It just doesn't bear thinking about. I don't even know where you'd get them from. It'd be an excellent marketing plan for farmers, though.

SantasNuttySTaff · 18/12/2008 11:26

you really could huff and puff and blow the house down lol

please ignore me am in a funny mood today

AuldAlliance · 18/12/2008 11:26

Just to reassure you, I am here, and not out scouring the shops and markets of Provence for thousands of cabbages with which to poison the air over the festive season.

I thought the explanation was a little glib myself, especially as diet in France is not what it was. Genetic factors would make more sense...

VirginBoffinMum · 18/12/2008 11:26

You would also need a truck load of Defaltine.

SnowySunshine · 18/12/2008 11:51

I have a question. I'm probably getting a bit hysterical over what's simply a bank error, but we'll see.

Last Friday, the massive argument we had started with me asking about a 10 minute phone call from Sky, trying to sell him insurance that we don't need (we have a communal dish, etc) for £9 a month. I knew what it was about because I was sitting next to him & the flat was silent - I could hear most of what she was saying. In the end I had to tell him to hang up because he was on the verge of getting cornered into buying it & we can't afford it.

He then went off on one about me treating him as a child (I wasn't, but we'd had the big finances talk the day before that) & said that it was none of my business (despite it being our money) because they'd asked to speak to him, I shouldn't have been eavesdropping, etc. In the middle of all this, he said that he'd put it all in my name so I could deal with it. I didn't agree or disagree with that, but said that it wasn't the point.

I've now found a direct debit has been taken from my (private, personal - not joint) bank account by Sky, for £23, which is what we pay for our Sky / phone / broadband package. It's left me overdrawn (& I don't have an agreed overdraft, so may well get charged).

Either it's a big coincidence & the bank's somehow made a mistake, or he's set up a direct debit from my account without so much as asking me. I really want to give him the benefit of the doubt (especially as he'd have had to have done it after we'd sorted things out between us, not in the heat of the moment), but it seems a bit unlikely that it's a coincidence.

What do you reckon? How easy would it be for him to do that? Is it even legal? & if he has done that, that's a whole different kettle of fish, isn't it? That's not just being unable to control his temper, that's something else...

SantasNuttySTaff · 18/12/2008 11:58

I dont think he can set up a dd in your name without your permissinon/ without you being on the phone? i may be wrong

phone sky just to be sure of whats gone on. i wouldnt class that as checking up on him just as confirming dd details

is your name on the sky biil's? and is your personal account linked to your joint one? that might be a possibility as to why the money has been taken from your personal account

SantasNuttySTaff · 18/12/2008 12:00

and even if he has moved all the bills to your name it should still come out of the joint account rather than personal surely

SnowySunshine · 18/12/2008 12:00

I've just cancelled the direct debit & now have an address to write to Sky & get them to give my money back. I also just got an overdraft set up on the account, so I can not panic about these things so much. I still don't really know what's going on. I'll have to wait for DP to get home & ask - but he's at the pub at the moment, celebrating the end of semester. Grr.

SnowySunshine · 18/12/2008 12:02

We don't even have the joint account yet. It's one of those things that we keep nearly sorting out & never getting around to.

My name's not on the Sky stuff at all, it's entirely his. Sky shouldn't even know that I exist, unless he's done something.

SantasNuttySTaff · 18/12/2008 12:03

check the joint account and see if the dd is still set up on that account

SantasNuttySTaff · 18/12/2008 12:05

sorry x posts, yikes it doesn't look good for him, but sort the joint account out asap xx

SnowySunshine · 18/12/2008 12:08

The Sky hold music is really annoying. It's like they want people to be even more stressed out before they start

SantasNuttySTaff · 18/12/2008 12:13

lol all hold music is designed to send you round the twist

SnowySunshine · 18/12/2008 12:17

Sky Man refuses to discuss it with me because I'm not the the account holder.

I'm furious with that let alone potentially DP. It's my money, it's my flat, & he refuses to help me in the slightest.

DP'll be back in about 15 minutes, apparently. He'd better have a good explanation.

SantasNuttySTaff · 18/12/2008 12:20

bloody ridiculous! does your dp even know your bank details?

SnowySunshine · 18/12/2008 12:22

He could easily get hold of them if he wanted to be that sneaky. I don't hide my bank statements or anything like that. I'm really hoping that it's just a bank error...

I hate that I'm even in a position where I doubt it. That alone makes me really sad.

SantasNuttySTaff · 18/12/2008 12:37

chin up chick just clamly ask him, i'm sure it is just an error, but if not do try and get your joint acc set up soon, it will make things alot easier for you both

BabyCRIMBOlat · 18/12/2008 12:37

Oh Snowy, can I just say I know how incredibly frustrating it is but try and calm down, not only for you and the baby but if you are unhappy and angry, chances are DP will react in the same way and be really aggressive back. It might be best to try and act just a bit confused rather than angry and say - I just had a call from my bank as there is a ddebit set up for sky that i didn't authorise and it has taken me over my limit, would you mind calling sky to find out what happened etc and give him the chance to either own up or deny it - if he has done it then one, it is illegal to set up a ddebit without your permission on DP AND SKys behalf - did you have a standard DD with them already - if that is the case then he can easily upgrade it without knowledge...

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SantasNuttySTaff · 18/12/2008 12:39

bb - good advice, oh and bb just listened to Brit Spears tis really good album, if santa doesn't get it for you tis def worth buying

BabyCRIMBOlat · 18/12/2008 12:42

Oooh boys can be very silly sometimes but if you already had sky then they can be very sneaky and get you to upgrade without really realising it -

With you on the frustrations about sky and payments etc - am having the same with o2 - my mum set my phoen contract up when I was 15 as she wasnted me to have a source of contact etc, from the age of 18 I took over all payments and transferred the name to mine but she is still the name on the contract but despite paying the bills for 9 years and having all the correspondence and money coming to and from me, apparently I can't speak to customer service about them over-charging me because I am not the contract holder.. .grrr!!!

Anyway, in the big scheme of things while these things are horrible and if DP has done it, he needs to realise he has absolutely no right to do it, it's not worth getting your stress levels up!! (You could always set up a direct debit in his account for topshop online or something to get him back!!! )

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BabyCRIMBOlat · 18/12/2008 12:51

Thanks SNS - DH has banned me from listening to too much cheese as he is convinced the baby is a boy and at the moment the baby goes crazy for three things - baths, high school musical soundtrack and make up (yes was in a mac presentation the other day for work and as soon as they started talking about the must have eye shadows for 2009 my lo went kicking crazy!!!) so he is a bit scared if it is a boy it might be gay (which is fine for us but not for his traditional turkish friends and family back home!!!)

Snowy re tattoo, I have a lily type design (a bit abstract) on the front on my foot - which I love but also am glad I can hide away when needed!

Dungun, a stone is nothing - completely normal - in fact I think a little less than average, I have put on more than that which I think most people have (if I can remember the threads from 2 weeks ago (but that was almost 2000 posts ago!!!) and while I am a bit worried about losing it afterwards, I know that I am not stuffing myself with junk food, and think it is better to deal with that once I have given birth - I have had mixed comments, family think I am huge, friends think I am small for size!! who knows!!!

Although I am with you hopeful on the extra cellulite on my legs - but they have always been a problem area for me so kind of expected it! What is weird tho is I have always been quite body conscious but have not been at all bothered by the change in shape during pregnancy!

Really hope I have got all the right people with the right comments - gets very confused in my muffled brain!!

I am all for Vampires too! ooh good memories of the Lost Boys....

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lauralou1 · 18/12/2008 13:03

hi dungungirl

ys its my20 week scan

i havent put any wieght on but lost it i got abit worried but midwife said its ok baby is growing fine so there is nothing to worry about but i dont understand how i can be so big and not have put wieght on

mybe i had enough fat there already ...lol

gp said it looks like i have gestational diabeties aswell so going for more blood tests tomorrow not looking forward to that

hope your ok take care love laura
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

SantasNuttySTaff · 18/12/2008 13:04

oooohhhh i loooooovvvvveeeee mac (hoping santa fills my stocking with the stuff)

bb - ah most blokes/boys are closet cheese freaks tell him he protests too much lol

BabyCRIMBOlat · 18/12/2008 13:13

Oh no DH loves cheese, but with the make up and HSM, think he is just covering all the basis!!!

I also love mac - and can I just say there is some great stuff coming out in March next year - not only the hello kitty range but the creme sheen range (there is a highlighter to give you a wet look that I was dubious about but now absolutely love) come to think of it it was mac that inspired me to bath and put make up on and become a good wife - not DH!

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