March 2009: Pelvic pain, sciatica, and getting kicked in the ribs: Are we prize fighters or just entering the third trimester?

[MKG]

Here's our new thread ladies.

Hi all

hopingcat I'm afraid I don't know anything at all about IUGR babies - I'm sure someone else will be able to help you out though.

It's my first day of mat leave today, and after a really good night's sleep - I only got up once (compared to the 4 times on Sat night) - I'm feeling pretty good for a change! Have listened to my hypnobirthing CD for the first time - it left me feeling very relaxed and I can't actually remember much of what the hypnotist said - either I was in a good old trance or had fallen asleep!

It has been tipping it down with snow for the last hour, and is looking very pretty outside, so all in all a pretty good day!

I've got a growth scan tomorrow - 34 weeks - where I should find out more about the date when they want to induce me, and think that as I have also 'dropped' I should take a leaf out of emma's book and pack my hospital bag. I think I have just about all I need but now need to get off my ass and do something with it all! Although no idea what to dress baby in for her journey home ...any recommendations for amounts of clothing required on a baby mid - end Feb....I don't have a clue!

My 'ladies' don't seem to have changed that much either, am also looking forward to seeing what happens when my milk arrives!

hopingcat, what was your measurement?

Hopingcat - my dd had IUGR. She measured on the 3rd centile from the 22 week scan. I just replied on the other thread that someone else started on this subject (but think you were on it) so apologies if I am repeating myslef but, my fundal height with dd measured spot on throughout my pregnancy. It was only that she measured so small at my 22 week scan that I was constantly monitored. I don't think fundal height is an accurate measurement at all.

However, if it does mean your baby is small, try not to worry (although I know that is impossible). They have 'caught' it now so you will be monitored closely if the scan shows any issues. TBH, if you r FH was that much of a concern you would have been scanned this week.

By this stage with dd I was being scanned two weekly It is once growth stops and dd didn't grow between 35 and 37 weeks that I was admitted and had to deliver. That said, I was still monitored and induced and it then took another 4 days before she came out and that was all with no growth.

At birth (the main issue was that induction didn't work and I ended up with a c-sec), she stayed with me for a while but did eventually have to go to SCBU but only for a couple of hours to get her body temp up. Then there was no looking back. She didn't breastfeed (which may not have been related - or may have just been my anxiety) but shot up the centiles from the moment she was born, met all her milestones at the right time (if not before) and is 4 on saturday and people are always surprised when they hear about the circumstances of her birth beacause you couldn't tell).

Feel free to ask any questions - or CAT me.

Hi Hopingcat,my dd had IUGR and I had a scan at 36 weeks and they found that she hadn't grown since 33 weeks, so had to go into hospital every other day for CTG monitoring and was rescanned at 38 weeks, she still hadn't grown so I was induced that night. She weighed 4lb 13oz and spent 24 hours in special care. She is now a lively 2 year old although she is still very small but then I am only 4ft 11 myself. This pregnancy I am having scans every 2 -4 weeks to check babys growth and all is well so far. The fundal height measurement that midwive's use is often wrong but at least she is taking precautions with you. My midwife said I was measuring fine and the only reason I was scanned with dd aws because she had dilated kidneys. Hope all is o.k. xxxxxx

Emma- my mum was made redundent as well. She is starting her new job on monday though so I dont have the pleasure of having her around. Also she used to get a day off in the week when I could see her but now only has weekends off so I am with my DP and she is with hers!

Re Heart problems, my Dad has had numerous heart attacks (lost count of them!) over the last 12 years, since he was in his late 40's so I can sympathise with what you are going through. The latest is that his legs are swelling up due to his heart and he had a scan earlier this week but I haven't heard from him to get the verdict.

HC- I also have no experience of small babies or measuring small, sorry, sure someone will have some great info for you. Hope all goes well, try not to worry.

I'm so jealous of all you on mat leave already. Desperate to finish but not too long to go yet. I am still trying to get crap MW's to sort out my MAT B1 which I dont have yet! so cant finish yet anyway cos probably wouldnt get paid!!!

Anyone else finding that movements from LO's are really painful now? Used to think it was sweet but now its more like FFS stop hurting me!

HC - Actually seeing Titchy saying she has experience too reminds me that it is suprising how common it seems to be. Out of my NCT group there was another 4 lb something at term and since I had dd I met 2 others who had 4 lb-ers with IUGR.

Hey everyone,

Yes Babyinbelly - I am getting jabbed all over the shop and it's starting to get on my wick now as it's stopping me from getting to sleep at night. That and the constant trips to the loo. Someone mentioned that this means the baby is head down already - is that right? I have been peeing all the way through this pregnancy so I'm not sure it's a real indicator for head-downess for me -- seeing the MW on Weds when I will be 32+3 so hopefully she can tell me.

Someone also mentioned the underwire bra thing killing their ribs, along with babe's feet, which i am also experiencing. But I can't bear to wear maternity bras already - I've only ordered a couple from M&S online and was hoping not to need them until 38 weeks or so!

So, for all the mums out there (who have already helped me with mattress and benefits advice - I thank you), can I pick your brains again on visiting etiquette? I have a slightly unusual family situation (although maybe it's not that different these days), with separated parents, the paternal side of which is now living in the States (dad + new wife). Mum is in Norfolk, so a good few hours from London, and DH's parents are still together and live a couple of hours from here.

So, I have to juggle 3 sets of visits - Mum's, dad's and DH parents, and I was wondering how soon after the birth first time mums had their parents visiting? And how long did they stay? Did they stay with you? I was planning to have DH's paternity leave completely to ourselves at home, no parents visiting as when they do come, they are going to come for a few days (from the States etc), so we had planned it like this: Fri - Sun at the end of DH's paternity leave spent at his parents house (as they have 2 small dogs that they would have to bring to us if they came and stayed with us, and I don't think I am up to playing host to them, as well his parents who are lovely but quite formal and I would have to make sure meals were provided on the posh table in the dining room, on time etc).. and then I was going to get my mum to come to us from the Mon - Thurs afterwards, when DH is back at work so this is when she would be the most help for me, and then finally a week or 2 after that, invite my dad and his wife to come and stay from America for 3 or 4 days (they would go and visit my bro and his kids as well).

God - am rambling a bit, but am starting to get a bit of a knickers in a twist thing goin here, as originally I had planned for my mum to be the "last" of the 3 sets of visitors and she was really put out by this saying she didn't think that that was fair. So I have swapped her around with my dad, but my dad is flying from the States and his flights might not be that flexible - and they definitely can't visit at the same time!

Oh cripes. Should I just say it's a free for all and stop over analysing? What did everyone else do??

xxx

Crumbs - it wasn't supposed to be that long! xx

Boobz - could you not say to your mum and your ILs that they can come for a visit early on but not stay ? So, either they pop down for the day or stay elsewhere ? I'm not sure whether you'll feel like going to stay with someone else 2 weeks after the birth. Good idea though about your mum staying if she is helpful.

FWIW - I have parents who live 1.5 hours away and a MIL who lives about same distance. My parents were due up for the weekend to help put nursery furniture together when I was admitted into hospital early and had to deliver dd so my Mum stayed on as it was quite stressful/high risk and she was worried. On the day dd was eventually born she came in, my MIL popped up for a brief visit and my Dad did too. Then my Mum stayed whilst I was in hospital so she could run around and do stuff (as I didn't have all my stuff by then) but left the day I came out, before I got home. Then I think we had another day visit from MIL who then went on a month's holiday and my parents popped up again. Then after DH's paternity leave finished my Mum came and stayed for a few days to help out - which would have worked out well except she got the noro virus and then gave it to me (3 weeks after c-sec) and I then gave it to DH (the weekend our microwave blew up so I had to sterilise in a big saucepan as I couldn't drive because of c-sec and dh was in no fit state !!).

You certainly don't want people who need to be treated as guests staying too early or for too long !

boobz we have a similar situation with DPs parents separated, although they don't live too far so wouldn't have to stay over night!
I was planning for paternity leave (directly after birth) to be just me and DP and then my mum come and stay for the first week that he goes back to work to help with the transition into being home alone with baby...similar to you!
After that I think we will be visiting his dad and then his mum the following weekend, if they don't like it they can lump it!
I would definitely yet not to over analyse as you waill stress out! Obviously with your dad travelling the furthest the timing of his visit should be dictated by the flights available and everyone else will have to fall in around that in my opinion! The rest of the family can see pictures and will see baby in the flesh soon enough!! Well that's my 2 penneth anyway!!

Hi All,

Sorry ive not posted in a while, ive been lurking but ive not had time post.

Boobz Your plans sound fine to me tbh, the only thing is you may fine that you will want to show your little one off sooner . Would it not be possible for your Mum and DH parents to say just visit you for an afternoon/morning and not stay over? We are quite lucky that both our familys life locally and will just pop in and visit for an hour or so...........as and when they are needed tbh LOL

goldmother & MKG

Great to hear your both doing really well with the GD, well done you two!! and im not atall about the weight loss!!!!!!

hopeingcat That sound really worrying, but like WB and Titchy its great that they have picked up on it now and can keep a close eye on things.

Dinny How are you? .

Oh and on the topic of norks, i am still in my wires.......yes they hurt a little, but its the only way i can keep the ladies looking pert , i also wore them all the ways through my PGs with both girl and i successfully breast fed both of them beyond 12 mths, so for me it certainly didnt effect my milk supply.

Im now starting to get fed up and i have been feeling a little low. I feel like a bloody hippo!! i cant bend over or i am out of breath. Even driving is now difficult as baby is sitting so high up i cant get comfy and obviously with this being my third he is unlikely to drop until i go into labour.

Thanks for the advice... All 3 sets of parents aren't really able to drop in for the day as it's about a 8 hour round trip (maybe more!) for my mum, and at least 5 or 6 hours for DH's parents - and then of course my dad is flying in from Texas! So they will all expect to stay, and stay with us as we have a spare room. Hmmm.

I think I will try to go along with my plan A, with my dad being the most understanding and least likely to be offended (he knows DH parents can be hard work, I find at least, and that my mum is still bitter after the divorce, so he knows it won't be easy for me - he's pretty good like that).

Right, I had better go and sort dinner out - am starvin marvin all the time these days!

xx

Thanks for the advice. It's good to read positive experiences and to know that a small baby is often a normal healthy child. It's amazing how just hearing other people's stories makes you feel less worried. Much better than surfing the internet and finding lots of frightening facts that I didn't need to know.

Dinny, my measurement at 32 weeks was 28cm according to MW and 29cm according to the Doctor who was called in. I only know this is low because 28 is underneath the bottom line on my graph. It's very tempting to get DH to measure every few days, but we are trying to resist.

boobz we've had a similar thing going on with my parents in law, and brother and sister in law who live about 2.5 hours away. We assumed that they would be pretty upset if we asked them to stay at the local Travelodge if they wanted to visit during the first few weeks, as we really don't feel we can have overnight guests while we are still trying to find our feet with a newborn.
Father in law took us completely by surprise, my husband finally got up the courage to approach the subject and he said straight off that they won't stay with us they will use the Travelodge as they remember only too well what a nightmare they had with people wanting to come to stay when their first baby was only just fresh out the womb.
Anyway I was wondering, have you or your husband asked them what their plans are or outlined to them what you want to happen in the first week or so? Cos they may be more understanding than you anticipate - my in-laws can be fairly clingy and we really expected them to be offended or difficult but really weren't. (and fingers crossed it lasts lol)I assumed they would kick up a fuss but none so far.
We're telling everybody that we want a couple of days to get settled before people come to see us, even my own parents who live 15 mins away will have to respect that.

Twocute I think lots of us are feeling like that now. Fat, fed up, sore and wanting our bodies back! (give or take the breastfeeding)

Boobz - God it's a minefield isn't it? What I would say it that, with your first, it does feel very difficult to put your foot down as everyone obviously wants to see the new arrival, but you often end up suiting everyone else's needs above your own. I did this to a hideous extent with our first and it just drove me NUTS!!! So, my advice, where possible, is to see how you feel after you've had the baby, and don't be afraid to put your foot down. YOUR the one who's been through pregnancy, labour and I don't know, maybe breastfeeding, but certainly getting up with the bambino, so you should think about yourself if you can. I am crap at this, but was definitely better second time round and I reckon third time round, everyone will be overcome with inertia that I may have to call them to come over... Just kidding.

Oh, meant to say, thanks for the well wishes regarding my Uncle. Hopefully he is getting out tomorrow so we'll see how he goes.

I had a bit of a shock for my first day on mat leave. My DD2 was in a crap mood today, but I think she was teething and her leg was sore from where she'd had the MMR last week and she just cried and clung to me all day. I was trying to tidy and clean house etc etc and be the good wife,and DD2 instisted on tipping EVERY meal all over herself and the floor and after non-stop cleaning etc my back started hurting and I realised - I get more time to sit down at WORK!! I was on my feet for about 10 hours today with a one hour sit down, when I would have had a nice 4/5 hours at work. Sigh. There's just no justice! I wonder if I can go back tomorrow...

Blimey I have not been on here for ages, must catch up with more than the last few posts!!
Cripes, twocute I could have written that post of yours.
I am feeling increasingly fed up, this baby is all front, totally different carry to my previous 2 pregnancies.
I am getting kicked most uncomfortably and when I go out to pick up Dd2 from school I have to come home and sit down for 10 mins before I do anything I am so out of breath!!

slickbird oh gosh, I am not having a second! You have just highlighted the cast difference between maternity leave with your first and then any subsequent children! Due to lack of sleep, achey belly and sore back I probably sit or lay for 10 hours a day! Well, perhaps not that long but I certainly only do about an hour or 2 cleaning/tidying a day and obviously only have myself to worry about!

I am beginning to treat my kitten like a baby carrying her over my shoulder like you would burp a baby! I took her for neutering today and actually cried!! I now feel horribly guilty as she is all shaved and sleepy and feeling sorry for herself god help me when it come to actual bambino!

Anyway, after my celeb BB fix I will be off to bed hoping for more sleep than last night, I only got 4 and half hours!!

I got really angry on sunday because I was trying to clean the car but couldn't lean over with pain/struggling to breath. Typically I kept dropping everything on the floor as well meaning more bending and discomfort.

Sleeping is nearly impossible. Next time round I will invest in a super king bed so that I don't keep kicking DP when I constantly fidget trying to get comfy. Either that or two singles might be better!!! Also getting up about 5 times a night to wee. Doesn't help that I am really thirsty and drink at least a pint of water through the night!

Baby brains are starting to get frustrating too. I make silly mistakes at work. Yesterday I had a bag of sugar in one hand and rubbish in the other and through the sugar in the bin. Very frustrating. Also on sugar theme I poured nearly the whole bag in my tea cup instead of the sugar pot a few days before! I also ran the water for washing up while I went to the toilet then came back down and sat on the sofa. DP was watching me for ages before he said. 'so when are you going to turn the tap off' Lucky he was there because we dont have an overflow on our sink! Numerous other things but I would be here all day listing the stupid things that I do!

I'm feeling very sympathetic for everybody that's dropped even earlier than I did. For the first time in this pregnancy I am really in pain, the pressure against my lower back is just so constant it's horrible. (needing to pee all the time is not that convenient either when you don't want to leave the bus stop incase the bus goes without you!)

I've only got 3 1/2 weeks left at work but this I'm finding it much more exhausting now than I did going in with morning sickness. In a way it's better than when I'm off though, because I change my position a lot at work between standing and sitting and my back appreciates that I think!

DP and I bought paint pot samples to try out in the nursery, but didn't get around to actually putting them up. I'm feeling very behind with all you ultra organised ladies onto your labour bags already!

I know I'm a bit behind here but have linked to my bump pics which I eventually uploaded if anyone interested.

Bump1

Bump2

Hope that works. x

babyinbelly - these are Facebook links, which means they can't be seen by anyone who's not a Facebook member - like me.

I know, I'm a technological loser.

I did take your post as a reminder to put a few new bump pics from yesterday into my MN profile...I can't believe it's 31 weeks already!

I am on facebook and I can't see them either - I guess because we're not friended on there?

I couldn't lean over the side to wash the windows on Saturday during my Big Clean. I figured that's it then, dirty windows for the next 8 weeks as there is no way in hell DH would ever think to clean them and I have told myself I have to stop nagging him to do everything.

Hey baby - put the pics up on your MN profile instead so we can all see!

Drying of a horrible cold here, but was inevitable I was going to get it as DH had it all weekend. My ears are blocked as a result so I can't really do work phone calls.

So we'll probably get to the end of this thread and then thread no.4 will be all the babies arriving. I wonder if we have talked more or less than other ante natal threads. Can you believe it's been 7 months since we all started chatting? Someone (more able than me) should post the list and we can see if we can rouse any of the non-chatters amongst us...

Hey guys have had technical problems at home so havent been on for ages! just a quick one as have loads of things to do, didnt realise how dependant i was on the internet but have esp missed popping in on u lot!

I too am feeling very uncomfortable bubba still breech at the mo and really sticking out in front, and it hurts like hell when it twists and turns, people at work are worrying as it looks like im in labour when i stop and wince!

But then i was uncomfortable with DD, terrible backache, and she was head down, guess its going to hurt one way or another however they are positioned!

Have started packing bag and getting stuff ready but as extension is underway and bubba without own room at mo everythings a bit everywhere!

4 weeks left at work!!!