GFJ drinkers anonymous

[nelix2000]

hey all, hope you all find the thread! we can niggles and worries!

Hey jools you be as excited as you want to be, it's wonderful that this is such a 'good' time for you, get off mumsnet and get exfoliating and candle lighting girl! Have fun and think baby thoughts (legs in the air etc!) will send over tons of babydust to you and keep the spare chair warm for you in 2 weeks.

Ps i loved this time of the month - no more waiting it's all starting on this day - wonderful.

smiley lovely little bean you have there, how amazing to see thank you for sharing it with us.

xx xx

Unfortunately all my efforts were in vain I couldn't get him to co-operate and we ended up having a massive row - me accusing him of telling me he wants a child but not really wanting it etc etc. He didn't say a lot, so I really don't know if it is a pressure thing, an "I don't really want to be a parent" thing or something else

Lots of tears and now we are not talking I said if he wasn't willing to at least try to become a parent, I wasn't sure I could stay with him as I would blame him for that all my life

I haven't felt OV pain yet, but will today or tomorrow. We are supposed to be out with friends tonight (I really really don't want to go now) and staying over, so I think this egg will come and go

Last chance to conceive / deliver a baby before I'm 40 blown out of the water. Right now, I'm really not sure if it will ever happen now.

Oh Jools....did you manage to make up? DH and I argued like crazy the w/e we made this one....TTC takes over a bit doesn't it (at what other time would we have a row about DH not wanting sex?!) but it might not be too late even today. I jumped on him the day I felt OV pains and the next day!

40 is not the be all and end all any more....and you got PG relatively easily last time so you can do it. It was just so unfair that it didn't work out, but next time, the chances are it will.

I know it's hard sweetie, and probably especially hearing it from us when we're all PG, but we've been where you are, and we know what it's like (I was the one sobbing when we didn't do it at the right time, which was obviously a turn on for DH ).

We're here if you need us xx

jools i ditto sparky on this, we also argued and i had the 'please not tonight' plea from DH the week we concieved this one (maybe there's something about angry makeup BDing!) it does take over and i spent months counting down the days and planning my life around it, i'm glad i did now but it did take over. I hope you managed to make up and have a nice evening and are now enjoying a lazy sunday.

Lots of love honey xx

Thanks both

No making up yet - in fact no discussion at all as he has done what all men do and just moved on and tried to ignore the conversation - it feels like a big barrier between us though.

We did go out last night and I tried to muster up a polite and happy front, but struggled massively whilst sat at the table in the restaurant and experiencing the most painful and uncomfortable ovulation pains I've ever had ! It was both sides aswell - maybe two eggs I've wasted

We stayed over, so no chance to talk and he's gone out now. He has a GP appt tomorrow to talk about some heart palpitations he keeps having. I'm hoping it is just worry about that, and hoping it is something simple to fix like an underactive thyroid, which also can cause reduced sex drive.

So, I have a 2WW ahead with no symptom spotting whatsoever - I guess it could be quite liberating !! I have put on a stone since conceiving in Sept, so will use the time to lose weight and get even fitter.

I know 40 isn't old these days - my friend has just had her 4th (he arrived early on Xmas Day !) at nearly 44. However, I just worry about starting a family at 40. I wouldn't want an only child - maybe I'll have to hope I conceive twins

Not quite so despairing and frustrated today thank goodness - and THANKYOU for listening

Jools so sorry to hear you've had such a rotten time esp at the worst possible time of the month. It sounds as though you both need these next two wks to talk things through so that you can both be on the same wave lenght next month. Maybe you should make the first move & cook him his favourite meal & get him to open up to you about how he feels about it all. Big hug(((hug)))

Smiley I am feeling tired and boobs are sore... I am not getting too excited until I make it pass week 8 then I will relax after the 12 week scan. I worry because of my age and think that something will go wrong but after reading Heeby's post I can see that there is no sense in worrying until the sh*t hit the fan!!!

I am 4 wk and on my 6th day today tomorrow will be the start of week 5...

Jools it can be sooooo frastating when the other half does not conform to what you are are trying to do. I had the same frastration with my DH. I told him in order to get the baby we both long for we needed to bd at certain times (I was crying at the time, as I was so fedup of him not being there at the right time). I also told him that if he causes problems then it upsets me as I am only trying to do what is best for both of us - in order for us to get a BFP. He made a better effort after he understood what I was doing - perhaps you can sit him down and explain your cycle with him and tell him the importance of bd at the times you point out to him. I don't know it may help. I feel for you, this conceiving larky is very difficult.

It seems those BFP's are achieved in stressful times mainly on this thread! maybe it's a good omen in some weird way???

how are things jools i like Smiley's idea of cooking him a nice meal and trying to have a heart to heart, it can only help and hopefully you can enter next month as a united force.

cindy i'm so glad you are being positive, i told myself (and i worried a lot after a MC with last pg) that if i felt positive and enjoyed looking at all the 'week by week' sites and enjoyed the pregnancy then if it went wrong what would i have done wrong? - nothing! so i had no reason to be blue or worry. I have had 2 bleeds during this pregnancy and each one threw me totally but i have tried to keep calm and check out everything each time and stay focused. I believe a lot in the power of positive thought so good for you! enjoy!

xx

HI Heeby - nothing to report here really - DP had a GP appt yesterday because he's been suffering from strange heart palpitations and I think he has been stressing about that, so I don't want to talk to him till after the results are in (hopefully Thursday). He's had an ECG that seemed normal - just waiting to see what the blood tests say. I am wondering if it is an underactive thyroid, because that causes an erratic heartbeat and also loss of libido, but is easily sorted through tablets.

In the mean time, I'm working from home and laughing at the cats bravely venturing into the garden, eating low cal, healthy meals and haunting the gym like a bad smell - even went to my Body Combat class last night and only 8 of us turned up so it was like a personal training session !

C1ndy - he is the cook, so I doubt if I would manage a nice meal, but might try I think I will try to get him to talk at the weekend. Last time we had a discussion along similar lines before Christmas, it did result in him making an effort to BD when I wanted, but he was really doing it under duress and not enjoying it - so am not sure whether to talk more about my cycle or not

hey everyone...this thread fell off my raydar! jools how are ya honey? Yeah by the sounds of it maybe he was worried about his heart and after he gets the results, he will(hopefully) be less stressed. I am missing my gym this week but until i see the midwfe on thursday and have her tell me my blood pressure is ok, I dont really want to risk anything in case.

Glad to hear everyone is doing ok!!!!!

Am feeling a little queezy today... boobs do not feel that sore.

sorry boss is here have to go... chat soon

hey everyone. jools been reading your post on this and ttc site. Poor you what a rought time. This ttc does make you go slightly out of control. I felt it so much. Best of luck with DH and really hope you get your bfp.

I am 8 weeks and 1 day and the nausea has kicked in. urgh. I brought sea bands today and think they help but not sure. The only thing i keep telling myself is that i feel sick for a GOOD reason. When i read about Jade Goodey i feel so thankful that its not due to a horrendeous disease for which i am having something like chemo. This is what i keep on tellng myself and counting my lucky stars.
Don't talk to me about aching boobs!! They ached just before bfp and kept getting worse. Now if i take my bra off i have to do it sso slowely and relieve the pressure before i totally take it off .

TOday i am starving hungy. Had 2 weetabix, then went to tesco and shared cake with DS before got into shops about 9.30. Came back and had plate size pizza about 11.30, then had soup and roll at 12.30 with a can of coke and 2 bits of chocolate and still not full!!! hope this doesn't go on too long as they will have to roll me into delivery!!!

Booked into midwife - that took over the hour, how many questions???!!! considering this is my 3rd i think i know most of it but they insist on repeating it. Got scan booked for 1st week in March. Actually having 2 as booked into private one for nuchal test in London and going to have local one as well. Guessi have all options covered then.

Hope everyone OK. Starting to feel bit more secure about pg as 8 weeks and someone said less chance of m/c , but still knicker checking well, can't be attached to knicker checking ttc thread and not cary on doing it, can i!!

Spats why are you having two test done... and how did you arrange a private one in London? hummm perhaps the question here is what is a nuchal test??

oh the sickness!.......I was sick solid for 16 weeks and still am about once a day! And have been eating like a horse but only gained 2 pounds so far which is all baby! between my sickness and gym the weight has stayed off this pregnancy which is fab!..but I would love to stop being sick daily....playing havoc with my heartburn!!!

just had news our offer on the hosue we so depseratly wanted has been accepted!!! after a week of the seller deciding if the offer was enough...which it was since the value will drop more in coming months....it needs some upgrading but we are sooooo happy!...must be mad as will move (hopefully) around my due date! lol i dont do things by halves

I hate heartburn I suffered really badly with ds & I've already had a couple of days with a really acid tummy so I don' think this one will be any better

C1ndy the Nuchal scan is done between 11wks & 13+6 & looks at the area around the babies neck to detect if it has downs or other disorders. I think you are offered it if you are over 35/37 if your hospital does it there otherwise if you want one you will have to do it privately

I've got mine booked for Feb 23rd at King's College (Harris Birth wright centre) in London

Really smiley? I am in Scotland and was offered the test with DS I was 26 then and offered again now and I am only 28. I think thats awful you are not offered it as one of the regular tests if you are under a certain age. Also they do it (if you have requested) and its done at the 20 weeks scan. At elast when I went the sonographer asked me if we had opted for it, I said no as we hadnt. But DP saw no small sack of fluid near the neck(she is a radiographer) so think we are ok, but either way, she is our little girl.

I really think thats horrendous that you would have to go private to know tho!

having 2 done as me bewing paranoid!! The local DGH will do it anyway which i will still have so its on the hospital systme but found a private one in london which does the nucal scan plus blood tests and looks at the nasal bone cavity (absent usually in Down Syndrome babies due to flatter nose) Bit OTT maybe but i am 35 with 2 children so want to be prepared. Not saying anything wrong with pole with Down syndrome but i feel that it will be alot of extra work with 2 children already so i am investigatining it in depth, without invasive tecniques. Whatever happens happens but the technology is there so i guess i am using it!! When i had DS1 i was living in Kent and they didn't offer nucal scan but neighbouring East sussex did, thats bad. Mayb e diferenet now as 7 years ago, i don't know but now in East sussex anyway so OK. x

Evening ladies, so glad to hear you are feeling more positive jools it will so good to talk things through and for you to also understand his concerns as well.

spats i used sea bands too and found that i had to keep moving them slightly to make sure they were in the right place but then once i did they worked a treat, i'd be left with a little dent in my wrist tho and after about 3 weeks of solid wearing it started to get sore - but worth it!

I saw the midwife today for my 16 week check (am 17 weeks today tho) and all is well, i have a scan and consultant appt for 25th Feb to talk about birth options etc. So lovely for DH to hear the heartbeat and makes it seem so real. I feel tons better and even DD is starting to enjoy saying 'hello' to my tummy and she even kisses baby goodnight - very sweet.

xx

Smiley and Spat i am going to be 40 in March and would like to have this test too. I already have a DD aged 2 and 6 mths, so want to ensure that I get all the tests which are available. I work in Blackfriars, London so am happy to arrange something in London. How much do they cost?

Heeby I am sooooo happy for you. 17 weeks, goush the time has flown, you will be on your last trimester before you know it. When is the baby due - April?? I have a long way to go... only 5 weeks and 2 days, so have a long hill to climb but I am taking every day as it comes and am being positive. I will be a little happy when I reach the 8 week mark as that is when I MC... if I can make that week then my next goal is to reach 12 weeks and hopefully scans will be okay... Little milestones instead of thinking of the bigger picture, I guess I will only do that when I give birth.. hahha!

cindy that's exactly the way i looked at it, i got to 6 weeks (past previous mc) and felt better then to 12 weeks then a scan the following week and now i feel totally fine (except when i have had 2 bleeds but nothing major). I'm due 15th July so feels like ages yet!

Am still undecided about birth options, i have the option of a pre arranged c-section because of last time but i'm thinking that the recovery from a VBAC will be far easier - hopefully. Have a consultant appt on 25th Feb so will talk through options i think and play it by ear a bit, i think that if baby is looking huge (like DD was) later in pg then i'll book that c-sec but if i'm measuring ok then i might try for a VBAC.

Decisions decisions ....

Lovely to hear about you hearing the heartbeat Heeby

Was it you or Nelix that had some issues on our original TTC thread with a cyst or something ? I'm just wondering what the symptoms were, as I'm getting a lot of grumbling and aching low down on my left hand side - last night, it felt for a while like someone was sticking knitting needles in there I don't want to look a complete idiot in front of a GP (sensations are uncomfortable rather than painful) but don't know whether I should get it checked out ?

I've had to cancel a business trip to Wales today because of the snow / transport infrastructure that can't cope, so am one of only three people who have made it in to our local office ! I was looking forward to a night away from DP - doesn't that sound awful We're really really not getting on at the moment

Hey all

C1ndy - I'm only 33 and in London and in both successful PGs have had nuchal fold tests done on the NHS - one at C&W and one at Kingston. This time I had the combined test, scan and bloods but in 2005 (when I was 29!) I just got the scan. In each you case you get a risk factor - 1 in X chance of the baby having downs (there's a basic risk based on your age). If the risk comes back as 1:150 (I think) you may then be offered further tests such as an amnio or CVS which will offer a more definite answer.

You should check with your midwife or GP to see what you get as standard. I think the nuchal fold scan has a limited window to be completed as Smiley said - somewhere between 11+5 and 13+6 weeks I think, as after that there's a greater error margin or something. I'm pretty sure it's quite standard for London hospitals tho (after all, lots of them are teaching hospitals too!) - everyone I know has had one as part of the 12 week dating scan.

Jools hon am really feeling for you at the moment. Did DH hear back from the GPs? Not sure you feel up to it at the moment but it sounds like the pair of you need some quality time together - away from the stresses of real life. If you're worried about the pain, no harm in popping to seeing your GP. Are you doing lots of nice things for you? sounds like you could do with some reflexology (Heeby - don't laugh as you remember how evangelical I am about that!) or a massage or something. Maybe you and DH could slope off for a spa weekend for Valentine's Day?

Sickness - thought mine had passed, but felt rotten again all last week. Thank goodness for gaviscon. I've only gained about 6 pounds from my pre PG weight so far - I lost almost 10 in the first 10 weeks tho as I felt so rough, so I suppose that's actually 16 pounds on....still, am sure I was bigger with DS!