due Dec 08-the one were we are so brain dead we can't think of a thread title.

[Veggiemummy]

hey there will this be the last one do you think

Sorry to interrupt, but if Verso is about I answered your Doula thread with a possible solution.

Thanks, iwant - I'll have a look .

Btw does anyone have a useless mother and MIL? My Mum announced this week, (having only been asked to look after DD for a couple of hours once so I could have a nap - and having left her lying screaming in a soiled nappy so I ended up unable to sleep...) "well of course it would be inappropriate of me to help with the baby as I'm not a qualified nanny."

Ok...

I knew she was pretty useless with DD and certainly have never expected help - but even some moral support would have been nice. Then of course my MIL says, "of course you won't need me around because your Mum moved down recently didn't she?"

SIGH.

It's ok - I knew it would be like this from previous experience - but I do get very of people with normal, motherly, relatives, who are actually PLEASED to be able to cuddle a baby for ten minutes while you have a shower etc...

veggie no you didn't miss anything - I just haven't posted for a few days!

I hope that losing it doesn't mean labour is imminent - and I know from friends that some people lost theirs ages before anything started - it's just that it didn't happen with DS until quite late on so I was a bit freaked to find it on Friday.

Anyway it was good in a way - prompted me to actually go and buy maternity towels and breastpads and all that boring stuff!

Did you know there is a sale on at sainsburys for all newborn and maternity stuff? Very good timing!

verso rofl at your mum's comment!! Did you ask her who looked after you when you were a baby, or did she stand in the labour ward waiting for the qualified personnel to turn up?!

People are odd though - when DS was born my dad announced that he couldn't hold him as he'd never held a baby that tiny. Er, apart from all his own kids

TYV - this is a stupid question but is it obvious when your plug goes? How do you know it's happened - that's not the same as waters breaking is it?

verso - can't believe your mum! I hope you have some other support around - you can choose your friends but you can't choose your family!

I just had a lovely Chinese for tea but am having to wash it down with much Gaviscon! I actually woke up in the middle of the night last night needing Gaviscon as a matter of urgency - I want my stomach back!!! I need it for my food!

ooooooooh. my boobs just started to leak!
Am only 34 weeks! Am I going to need breast pads before the baby comes?! Is this normal? - DD1 was 10 weeks early so this is new territory for me!

trace this is going to be a grim tmi type of answer but I can't see any politer way of saying it!

Some people don't seem to notice their plug going so I'm guessing it can be a bit different but for me, both times, it had a couple of days of finding lots of little chunks of jelly when I wiped, followed by a huge big lump (about the size of a golf-ball) which just appeared on the paper when I wiped after the loo.

It was completely unmistakeable - there is no way you could find anything else like it in your knickers and not know!

It's not the same as your waters going - and I think from doing some panicked googling that it's one of those annoying things that can mean everything or nothing - it can be a sign that things are on the move but equally some people lose theirs and then have nothing for weeks. So I am hoping I have a few more weeks to go yet...

mucho sympathy with the gaviscon, I am swigging it too. I have resolutely ignored the sign on the bottle saying not to be taken for more than 7 days - there is no way I am putting up with this heartburn unassisted!

thank you TYV! Some things you just need to know! Hope you have a few weeks left yet...

tyv I know it sounds funny ha-ha having such a useless mother but actually it's quite dispiriting . I don't quite understand how she can not at least remember how exhausted I got last time - I ended up with hallucinations from lack of sleep - and how it developed into PND because no one pitched in to give me any breaks for the first eight months. (I have to say it was fabulous going back to work because suddenly it wasn't all my responsibility! ). This is the only thing about breastfeeding I dislike - ALL the responsibility falls on the mother's shoulders. It really does give family the excuse to cop out... I mean even if you express milk for a bottle, that takes AGES and you have to plan a long time ahead so it's still ultimately your responsibility to organise. I can see why people opt to formula feed so they don't feel quite so "tied down".

verso poor you - I was only laughing at the way your mum phrased her comment but I can quite see it must be horribly upsetting to have someone close to you wash their hands of everything. Do you have other sources of support?

My (amazing and very hands-on) mum is dead, so I sympathise with that feeling of being somewhat alone with all the responsibility. My MIL is great but somehow you can't just ring up the in-laws and say "right, I haven't slept for 3 days, you are taking the baby for an hour before I go bonkers" - also they live 2 hours drive away so a bit too far for those short notice emergencies.

reban great news about the baby's growth.

waitinggirl well done on your distinction! Very impressed when people actually achieve stuff when pg - if only they did MAs in bone idleness...

Indith congrats on new job.

hatty apologies if I've missed this as I've only really skimmed the thread but how did your scan go on Friday?

The hospital bag lists did make me laugh. I would also like to make a couple of recommendations:

• Twister - for whiling away those long boring minutes between contractions.

• Laptop for retouching post-birth photos - sometimes a full face of slap just won't do. Amazing what a bit of soft focus will do, and you can also airbrush out those unsightly newborn wrinkles. Have a look at my before and after photos here.

And of course pre-preg skinny jeans & crop top for the journey home.

Had a bit of a fright last night when I suddenly started feeling contraction-type twistings in my bump. I suddenly felt really hot as well and threw up. It lasted about half an hour until ... well ... it turned out to be wind.

Morning,

Verso, Sorry about your mum. My mum is great and the day after I had DS she came round just to let me have a bath and a slight rest. MIL on the other hand did say to DH that I am a mum now and I can't rely on my Mums help. She also had a go that I went shopping with a friend and left DS with DH!!
Maybe you need to try and talk to her about it.

Trace Mine are leaking too!!! I noticed last night. Luckily I have loads of breast pads left from DS.

I'm feeling awful today, can hardly stay awake and just feel like poo really. My heartburn is really getting to me now. Gaviscon seems to help for about 5 minutes then it comes back. Milk helps but I really hate milk. I might go see the gp and see if they can give me something.

DH said if I express I can stay asleep a few nights a week and he'll do night feeds. Which is so sweet. I know I won't be able to sleep through him crying but I suppose I can stay in bed.

I have some raspberry leaf tea to start drinking.

Verso i can't believe your mum said that, it's just bizarre. My mums in australia and while she drives me mad at times she would do anything we want while she's here or we are there to help us with the grandkids. I don't want to make it sound like your DH is a burden but things are a lot harder for you, so they should be more inclined to pitch in. Also BF is not a reason for them to cop out, just popping in and holding the baby so you can have a shower is one of the most helpful things that relatives/(friends in my case) can do so surely she cold do that, and you would be in the house so no need for showing any childcare certification!!!!

went to 'the mighty boosh' lastnight laughed my butt off (figure of speech unfortunately) had to pop a little bit of toilet paper in my undies for protection.

DS & DH have gone to the pool so better get on and do this online assignmenty thing i have to do it by tomorrow night.

Hello everyone, sorry I haven't posted for ages - I don't seem able to keep up. I will try harder now I'm on maternity leave.

I hope everyone is doing OK? I am very tired and carrying 9lbs of baby already with 8 weeks to go (though prob won't last till EDD, I realise) - pesky twins! Am I right in thinking I have company in another twin mum Anjlix?

Gettingbiggerbird - respect to you for carrying those twins! Glad to see you back - hope you get some rest on mat leave.

Verso I am at your Mum saying that. Sounds like a very pointed comment and not at all helpful or supportive. Hope your doula quest works out. Like TYV my lovely Mum is dead and she was a great help and loved every minute with DD. BUt in fairness my MiL is also very helpful and pitched in with DS brilliantly but won't be around much this time due to mas timing and also my SiL having had such a hard time with her first baby etc.

PoisonD LOVING your work. Before and after photos V. funny (scroll back anyone who missed them). It's amazing what PD managed to look like after a little twiddle with photoshop.... Although I always envisaged that you looked like this all the time (due to your username) farm2.static.flickr.com/1078/1449792125_af3e4aa4b6.jpg?v=0

I am turning into an anti-social old grump. Only managed to stay at my friends "Good Life" themed birthday party till 11.30 last night. Came home - had insomnia and didn't sleep til 2.45. Might as well have stayed out! I made a very fat Margot I must say!

Hmnmm my link backfired. Try Again

hi all absolutely stuffed up with cold too, infact me, dp, ds1 and ds2 are, dd is the only one who has escaped lurgy at the moment!

know what you all mean about feeling soooo huge. I really look like im ready to pop but still got 7 weeks to go til i hit due date. Although my consultant has said they will look at doing a sweep from 38weeks if cervix is viable so fingers crossed.

K i was so annoyed by your bus story but can really relate. Since starting my new job two weeks ago i have been travelling by train into bham city centre during peak times on one of the businest routes and it has been pretty much unbearable. People really just dont care, in general. Although one nice woman did make a point of standing up and shouting over to me to come and take her seat even though she was several rows away from me and no one else "notinced" my amazingly large stomach sticking out!

re hospital bag i tried to post mine last time but laptop kept crashing so here is my suggestions,
Me
nightie to give birth in
towel and toiletries bag for after.
Change of clothes, nursing bra, maternity pads and huge pants for going home.
PJs in case i have to stay in.

Baby
towel,
vest and sleepsuit,
nappies and cotton wool,
snowsuit.

My last two labours i spent a total of 6 hours in the hospital each time, which included getting there giving birth and being discharged, so i really dont plan on being there for long enough to need extra stuff! Hopefully it will be the same this time.

Enjoy the rest of your sunday, im hoping the banging and crashing in the kitchen means dp has started in the sunday dinner cos i really dont feel up to it
xx

hello all - sorry mums and mils are being uncooperative.

can anyone recommend any places for buying nursery furniture which isn't mothercare, john lewis, mamas and papas or ikea? we have a tiny room, need a cot/cotbed, a decent height changing table/chest of drawers (we are both tall), and possibly a wardrobe/dresser, and we just can't find anything that is a) affordable, b) that we like, c) small enough for our room. the closest we've got is the leksvik range from ikea, but the wood is so dark it might make the room dark.

hoping you have all had a lovely weekend.

i discovered a "friend" has written about me in her blog (grossly pretentious, full of self absorption and wallowing in victimhood) and grossly distorted a conversation i had with her a couple of months ago to make herself out to be a put upon angel, and me to be a shallow, smug, callous and cruel bitch. lots of deep breathing going on, punctuated by a generous dose of laughter... only way forward.

WG, what about Argos? Their range of nursery stuff is actually pretty reasonable. I got a Mamas and Papas moses basket from there yesterday, much cheaper than it is in M&P. Well done about your distinction as well, I haven?t been on for a bit. As for the blog, rise well above is my advice...they?re all slightly tinged with fantasy, these things, as you have realised; of course they are.

Well, thank you for your concern about me being missing for a few days (I was genuinely touched!) but the reason is most unexciting. I?m waiting for broadband at home and until that comes, can only post from outside places, and last week got wildly hectic so I couldn?t even check emails. For all my speculations that I can?t possibly last another three weeks, when I saw the obs last Monday BabyLady wasn?t even engaged. I?d just got a bit overexcited when they?d said when I?d had my scan a couple of days before that her lungs looked already mature. For all those ladies who are feeling mahoosive, I am the size of a country cottage, but she has only been estimated at being 7lb born.

Oh, and Turnip, thanks for bigging me up earlier this week dear girl but for those who will be expecting some sort of glamour puss at the lunch, I look like a fat tranny at the moment. (Great news about your friend?s IVF by the way). And Poison, you may jest about people touching up their post-birth photos but it has actually crossed my mind

I loved all the chat about hospital lists. Packing light is not my forte. Which reminds me, I mentioned a birth plan to my obs and she said ?Oh God, don?t bother.? I don?t actually mind though. I didn?t know what to say anyway and I might be high maintenance in some respects but in all the important ways I am exceedingly easy going . We talked briefly about the sort of stitches she might use and that was it. I think for a vb though it is probably very different and a birth plan is imperative.

Indith and Reban, super well done on the jobs front....Kayz, I am cross on your behalf re: the other day. Pregnancy has made me very mouthy and I wish I?d been there to give them whatfor.

The Young Vis, I too thought losing your mucus plug meant labour was imminent! I hope you are ok. My obstetrician described it as being like ?a fist-sized lump of snot?. Sounds gorgeous.

Arti, am hugely envious of your trip to the new Westfield centre, which isn?t too far from me either. I need to finish my Christmas shopping in the next three weeks so I am planning to swing by. I?ve done about a quarter of it to date and it?s not enough.

Other than that I have still been pressing on with the driving and my progress is going decidedly backwards. I can?t bear sucking at anything and whilst I do have extenuating circumstances (does EVERYONE feel a quite crap now? The unholy trinity of painful back/wrists/ribs, poor quality sleep etc is really getting me down, and I KNOW some people have it a lot worse) I am losing my confidence with it, which of course is fatal with driving.

I went to see the Bond film this morning. It seemed absolutely blinkin? baffling, to me. Oh, and a friend of DP?s had her baby at 4.02 this morning, ten days early. A 6lb13oz boy. Hope you are all fine and dandy. Hope to post more next week. Oh, and Veggie, bet you are enjoying having your DH back. Back to the driving grindstone in the morning. It makes me want to scream. It is ruining my maternity leave. Aaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrgh.

Oh, I hope it didn't sound flippant about birth plans, btw. Like I said, I think a vb is very very very different in terms of choices you need to make beforehand.

Hello,

Just watched the Grand Prix. Absolutely loved it!!!! Go Lewis!!

I hadn't given a second thought into my birth plan, so I might have to think about that soon. A quick fairly painless labour would be nice.

I am so uncomfortable. Its really annoying me now and nothing I do seems to make baby move at all.

I think your body does something this month to make you feel as crappy as possible - so that labour goes from being a terrifying possibility to being actually quite welcome if it gets this sodding weight off your bladder.

Ladyt pregnancy definitely affects my driving - and confidence - I have been driving in London for years and am generally pretty assertive but I find myself dithering at junctions and wincing when people come up behind me too fast. So blame it all on hormones.

On the plus side, my friend backed into a bollard during her 3 point turn (which is, I think, a failing offence). Being very quick witted and much more cheeky than me, she burst into tears and told the instructor she was pregnant (she wasn't!) and could he pretend she hadn't done it and let her try again. He did!! - so you could always try that at the test if all else fails...

wg I am at your "friend" and her blog. Crikey! That's awful! How did you find out?

LadyT good to have you back. When's your driving test? It must be quite soon. I wish you loads of luck with it.

When is the lunch again? I'd like to come but I'm not sure where/when we agreed on in the end...

verso - oh, i read her blog from time to time, when there's nothing on the telly, internet or i am too lazy to read - and this time i was in for a shock.

oh, it's all a load of nonsense. hurtful, but ultimately nonsense. part of me wants to post her blog on here to get your reactions (because it really is quite something), but then that really would turn me into a class A hateful bitch, which i really don't think i am. oooh, tempting, though...

i am thinking dignity, dignity, dignity.

i could go on and on about her and it, but that way she wins. enough already. have to decide whether to confront her on it, or simply rise above it, cancel the dinner we have scheduled for her and dh to come over in 10 days, and find ways of avoiding her and her bad energies for as long as possible.

alas her dh and mine are long long friends and i don't want to affect their friendship.

lips now sealed.
promise.

lady t - thx for the argos tip - have been scouring the internet. also, onwards and upwards with the driving. i'm afraid i took to it like a duck to water and am basically more at home behind a wheel than on my own two legs (an advanced driver, dontcha know?), but it really will be worth it in the end.

sorry people are feeling rubbish - i'm feeling pretty perky, apart from the above. not that you really wanted to know that.

getting loft insulated tomorrow, carpets fitted on weds - it's all go here. just need some sodding FURNITURE... then MIL and i are going to babys r us in a couple of weeks, getting one of those massive shopping trolleys and buying EVERYTHING we can get our hands on.

apols for the long me post.

TYV I think you are right. Our bodies must make us feel awful in preparation for labour and sleepless nights.

WG I think you are being very restrained. I think I'd want to confront her about it.

I'm really worried that when I see my consultant tomorrow he'll tell me that baby is breech or something. He has been head down for a few weeks now so I doubt he will have moved that much.

We're going looking for carpets tomorrow, really looking forwards to it as I want to get the carpet down in the front room.

post it WG, i have to admit to wanting to ask you to post it when i read your first post regarding it. it is a chance for you to get a reaction from people who won't get it back to her. Then just have the 2 faced bitch over for dinner and get on with your life as normal but knowing that we feel the same (most likely). However i have to say if she has put something like this on her blog (which i find quite odd) was she not expecting that you might see it??? should you possibly confront her about it.

kiddicare.com is quite good for cheap prices for known brands and have fast delivery which is free for anything over £50.

i passed my latest assesment but not 100% this time as i didnt read one of the questions properly, they give 2 chances at each question and i got it right the 2nd time around but i think they take off marks for it taking the 2nd go to get it. Oh well can blame head full of snot and pregnancy brain for it.

34 weeks tomorrow hooray. I am actually looking forward to the birth and have an appointment with my lovely midwife tomorrow. I think i am looking forward to it as, 1) i know whats gonna happen this time and know what i'm doing a little more this time around and also looking forward to meeting babyveggie. Also being over these pregnancy symptoms will be a bonus.

Kayz- i am also really over the indigestion, i have been drinking the slippery elm with hot milk before bed which helps with overnight heartburn, and also have been drinking rice milk with added calcium as it is a bit chalky and for some reason that settles my tummy, as well as the homeopathic remedies i'm on. But still with all that it breaks through. I gave up on gaviscon as it actually felt like it was making it worse.