First time mums expecting Spring babies

[FlirtyThirty]

Hello!

I'm expecting my first baby on 24 April. I'm currently only 4+4 but have NO symptoms at all! Have just retested as I'm convinced I've imagined it!

Went to Dr yesterday to share the news and have to wait for hospital 'choose & book' paperwork so that I can arrange first scan for around 10 October.

There seems to be so many decisions to make all of a sudden...

Anyway...just wondered how you other first timers were finding things...or your other halves for that matter. Mine is still in total shock in spite of this being a planned baby!

Flirty x

Morning all. Just to add to the great bra debate - I have one bra left that actually fits me and it is a massive granny-bra that's been at the back of the drawer for ages!! My DH is quite impressed with how much they've grown... Suppose I should go and buy some more, but not sure what size to go for - maybe something with plenty of room to expand?

On another note, I'm actually feeling ok these days - haven't had a spewing session for a while now, though I still have the odd moment of retching...especially to the smell of the fridge! (Does anyone else hold their breath when opening the fridge door?)

Hope everyone has a good weekend!

Talking of Bras - can anyone recommend a really good sports bra that enables one to do aerobics without running the risk of two black eyes ? !!

I'd love to keep active, but it is just too painful at the mo to do classes with this enormous chest - I dread to think how big they are going to get - this is only the 4 week mark !

I have M&S sports bras for high impact sports but they are just not doing enough any more.

Hello!!

jools Unfortunately I can't really recommend any good sports bras - not exactly being the sporty type

flirty have you been to the wedding yet? How did it go?

elpis Ahhh - sounds interesting! Who is the most important person you have met in your job?

I had my 8 week scan today - it went well!!! Little 1.46cm blob with a heart racing at 173 bmp. She managed to do see everything with an external scan - which meant that it wasn't very clear but it was still exciting to see the grainy image I do measure 2 days smaller than my dates, so I am only 8 weeks tomorrow (I thought it was yesterday) but that seems right as I am fairly sure I ovulated later than usual in my cycle.

If I am completely honest, it feels like an anticlimax...I thought I would be excited and relieved, but in fact I still feel as worried as before when I went in. Possibly even more worried - because now I know there is something to lose!

Well - it is way past my bedtime, so will sign off now but hello to everyone that I missed! I hope you have a great Sunday.

Hi ladies

welcome to bicnod and jools - so nice to be able to chat with other clueless first timers!

Can't offer much advice on the bra debate. i am a small B cup normally and they have not grown yet! (I am waiting patiently!!)M&S is good for bra's though right?

Weight gain - I think it's quite variable, depending on morning sickness etc! I actually lost 4 lbs when the sickness was bad, but have now put that back on, with an extra 2 lbs! Just try to eat a varied healthy diet and I'm sure your weight gain will be fine! (easier said than done I know!!!)

brightside - so glad the scan went well! You must try to relax a little now!

A friend of ours with a 6 months old baby gave me a MASSIVE bag of maternity clothes - they are fab and will save me a fortune! Hopefully they will help me feel pg rather than just FAT! lol!

Hello girls!
I hope you had a nice weekend with this weather!
Brightside - glad to hear you had a good scan!
Flirty - hope the wedding was not too much stress and you enjoyed it!
Well, I went on a maternity jeans trying on spree on Friday ( decided to buy a pair after my nuchal scan on the 26th if all is ok). The result is that Top Shop had the best fitting and the least offensive looking ones, I could almost see myself wearing some of them when not pregnant. Could not find any mat. trowsers that were nice. They all seemed to be huge ( even in smallest sizes), not nicely cut or made from cheap fabric. Will keep looking after the scan, don't want to wear just jeans for the next 6 months. Until then I'm reduced to one pair of low rise jeans that just fit...

Oh, forgot! ChocolateEclair - lucky girl! My sister promised to give me some of her clothes, not maternity but she is 1-2 sizes larger than me - for tops this should do for a while.

Yes, very lucky indeed on the clothes front

I have lost a lot of weight over the past couple of years (more to go though) and threw away all my size 16 / 18 stuff at the end of last Winter - am wishing I hadn't now as I think I'm going to have to go shopping quite soon - will prob have to look out for smart skirts with elasticated waistbands !

Jools - welcome and congratulations! You must be thrilled ? and don?t worry, I?m 36, so not much less ancient than you

Bicnod - congratulations to you too. Yet another Kingston mum-to-be ? what is it with that place?!

Elpis - sorry you?re having a tough time. Hope it helps a little to be able to come here and share. Feel free to vent at any time

BrightSide - Great news on the scan ? how exciting. I do know what you mean about knowing there?s now something to lose ? just try to remember that at 8 weeks the odds go up to around 95% of it being a sticky bean, so that?s pretty good.

Not sure about being able to tell your bra size from 10 weeks. Mine (32B) seem to have just had a growth spurt so I?m going to go bra shopping next weekend. The general advice seems to be to buy just a couple at a time, so you can see how you grow and buy new ones every couple of months. My best friend ended up a J cup (from a 32F originally). Can?t imagine why she didn?t think it was funny when I suggested she could use it as a cradle once the baby arrived.

skiing - interesting to hear about the Topshop maternity jeans. I thought they looked pretty good on their website. I?ll be 14 weeks next weekend, so I think I?m allowed to buy some now. Along with two new bras. Ooh, I do love an excuse to shop

flirty - hope the wedding was OK, and that you remembered to breathe in your corset

Hello!

Thanks everyone for your messages - I had another look at the scan pictures on Sunday morning and started to get a little more excited & relaxed. BTW - I recommend Babybond London South!

We told my in-laws yesterday. They were very happy but the MIL comments started already She said that she really, really hopes it is a girl as she wants a little girl. (She did remember to add that she would obviously love it if it was a boy, when I looked shocked!) I reminded her that it is 1.5cm at the moment, so it isn't really anything yet. Then she said that she really hopes it doesn't come early because then it would be an April baby and end up like my Brother-in-Law. Now admittedly, my BIL is a rather...er...troubled individual but I hardly think sharing a birth month will make our child an unemployed drug-addict She certainly does keep us entertained

skiing this maternity jeans research is great - thanks I hadn't actually thought of Topshop for mat clothes!

CE how thoughtful of your friend to give you those maternity clothes! I hope you are enjoying your new wardrobe

Hello to everyone else. I hope your Mondays have not been toooo painful!

Ooh, CE, I meant to say about your new maternity clothes. Also, which make of doppler did you say you'd bought on Ebay? I think I might get one. I'm having a bit of an anxious day today - probably because I have a cold and am feeling a bit sorry for myself, but I'd love to just be able to go home and hear the baby's heart for some reassurance.

Hi guys

Hope everyone is having non-sicky days today!

brightside - in laws are odd! There's no getting around the fact! Sometimes I think people speak without engaging their brain - especially when getting newss like that!

My MIL is a heavy smoker and DP and I have spent many evenings trying to subtley say she might get to see her first grandchild more if she stopped smoking - she doesn't seem to be getting it so far! lol! Might have to try a more direct approach!

Daisy - I so know what you mean about hearing the HB. It has really really helped clam me down! Here is the link. £30 well spent I reckon! (BTW did you know MJIM has had her baby on the Bonkers thread? The first thread baby!)

jools - well done on your weight loss - was it your intention in order to prepare for a baby? How do you feel about putting some of it back on again now? So far I am coping OK with my shape changing, but I think if I had to go to a smart do or wedding I might feel a bit fat!

Hi to everyone else!

I had a meeting with our bursar at school today to discuss maternity leave and maternity pay. Very exciting!

Ladies - how are you all!?
Sorry I've been away for a little while...

Wedding was lovely - much nicer that I expected and the corset was (thank God!) not too tight! We were staying with DH's family and haven't told them we're having a baby yet so had some comedy moments when I was trying to be sick silently in our bedroom into a sick bag as I couldn't make it to the toilet in time! I didn't know whether to laugh or cry when DH put his shaver on just to drown out the sound!
Not a soul noticed that I didn't drink as I always had a half full glass of wine on the table (the same one, but noone registered!) and drank cranberry juice from the bar which DH handed to me saying 'vodka and cranberry, was it?'...
I was completely knackered the next day though. I'm just not able to cope with late nights any more...

The last few days, I've been suffering increased sickness, but I'm trying to see that as a good thing and so just get on with it. I'm eternally grateful that i work form home, as I would not be able to keep this a secret in an office... I really take my hat off to those of you who are managing to commute in these early weeks!

CE - My cousin told her mother (a 30/day smoker) that she would not be taking her child to visit her unless she stopped smoking. She said that under no circumstances was she prepared to have her baby smell of smoke. Overnight, her mother stopped and has not touched a cigarette since (15yrs later!). When the baby's here, you may just have to take a more direct approach... I completely understand your concerns.

Brightside - how fabulous about the scan! Did you get pictures and have you told people now? I'm so excited about ours on the 16th Oct...though I still panic they will find nothing and tell me I've imagined it all!

Bicnod - I can't believe another Kingston mummy-to-be is on this thread! No wonder the unit is busy! Welcome!

Sickness Buster - I know different things work for different people, but I will share in case this helps anyone else. I've discovered that a hot chocolate instantly quells my sickness! Yummy too!

Hi ChocolateEclair - I think in the back of my mind, I knew weight loss would help TTC, but I was really doing it for me - I had the incentive of 18 months warning of my sister's wedding and her other bridesmaids are all stick thin - I wanted to fit in to the same dresses as the other girls and not ruin wedding photos by being the lardy one on the end - was a good incentive

I won't mind being heavier once the bump shows, but just feel fat at the moment, and am at thinking that other people will just assume I've fallen back into my old ways and am eating too much I'm quite concerned with ensuring I don't lapse whilst PG and put on more than just baby weight, so will be having long conversations about diet with whoever will listen !

I feel like clothes are getting tighter round the middle already and want to understand whether this is fat, or PG weight.

Have got a GP appt today to get myself in the system - am now wondering if I should postpone:

1 - I'm only 4+4 and wonder if it is too early for them to be interested ?

2 - It is a male doctor and I REALLY don't want a physical examination done by a man - do you get one at first appt ? I'm sure I will be past caring at the end of 9 months but, for now, I'm a little embarrassed

3 - I'm still very conscious that my BMI is just over 30 and am worried that I will be "told off" and just burst into tears. A LOT of that weight is muscle, as up to 2 weeks ago, I did 8 classes a week in the gym, but that feels like an excuse the GP won't believe

Sorry you asked now !!

Morning all!

I've definitely been feeling my clothes are tighter, but can't really make up my mind whether it is baby or just fat! I'm a bit chubby, so maybe the baby is just pushing the fat outwards!! Also, have been eating alot of rubbishy foods and sweets. I always thought I'd be living on organic wholegrain etc etc type foods, but I just can't face anything healthy just now. Anyone else feeling like that?

Jooles I was also worried about the midwife or doctor saying I was overweight and at the booking in appointment she asked me my weight and I told her I had no idea! (I haven't weighed myself for over a year, but know I'm overweight by about 2 stones). She then weighed me (to my complete embarrassment ) and I said that I thought I was definitely too heavy and she said "don't worry about that" and was really nice and didn't make an issue out of it. They didn't do any internal examination at all, but I have one on Friday along with my 12 weeks scan (an internal one) done by a male doctor - yuck! DH is coming with me so he can "keep and eye on him" !!

Ooh - I think I'm 12 weeks today according to midwife, but will get the 'official' due date on Friday.

Sorry for rabbiting on!

Jools - don't be sad! You are losing weight and clearly fit and active.

I had my first DR appointment to tell them I was PG at 4+4. They simple filled in a form to refer me to the hospital, asked me a few very basic health quuestions (did I smoke, drink etc) and that was it. No physical examination, not even blood pressure or urine sample. Don't worry at all about it being a man. They may mention your BMI, but don't get upset...as I understand it they will simply keep an eye on any weight gain with a view to monitoring you for things like gestational diabetes etc further down the line. These are more common in people in people with a higher BMI, but don't take it as any more than them looking to help and protect you and your baby. Don't assume they will judge you badly. And as for male doctors...I fear that your inhibitions, mine and everyone else's will go out the window in the next 9 months! In an unrelated experience, I learnt not so long ago how quickly inhibitions vanish. (TMI alert!!!) I was struck down with a hideous gastric bug overseas last year - really dreadful which ended in hospitalisation. Anyway, when it first hit, I lost total control over my bodily functions and poor hubby has now seen me in a state I never would have wished on him (or anyone)...but, I couldn't do anything about it and when I was really bad, I frankly didn't care; I just needed his help, and he was great. I realised then, that when things are really bad...it doesn't matter if it's a man, woman or frankly and alien who sees you - you'll just be grateful they are there. I broadly think childbirth will be the same for me; when it's happening...I simply won't care! The poking around in the run up, is just preparation...don't dwell on it; you'll be great!

Kalikaroo - I am SO relieved to read your message about diet! I am normally a fully-oprganic, cook my own, healthy eater. I get my fruit and veg from the farm, do all the right stuff etc etc...UNTIL I got PG! Now...all I want is unhealthy ready-meals if anything. I stopped at Burger King last week for a burger and don't think I'd been there for 15yrs! I have no idea what's going on. I have gone right off vegetables!?!? I normally live on them! It's SO odd...

Thanks SO much Flirty and Kalikaroo - you've made me feel much better

I think my hormones are on overload today - keep having to fight the tears back at the slightest thing, and have a stinking cold aswell - oh for a Lemsip !!

Hi ladies! I'm off the veggies too Flirty/Kalikaroo. Before PG my mid-morning snack was a few organic almonds and an apple. Today? A whole giant bag of haribo starmix! Whatever it takes to stop me being sick... happened 4 times yesterday . Ugh.

Was too ill to join in the great bra debate but I don't need any new ones. I was always an A cup and now am delighted to finally fit into all the B cups that husband dearest has been buying me every Christmas for years! So I have lots of pretty Elle Macpherson ones to enjoy wearing.

Got my scan tomorrow - haven't slept for 3 nights. Can't stop thinking about it!

Jools my early scan was an internal one, actually had to have it done twice and both times by a male Dr. My DH came too but actually think that was worse as I was worrying what he'd think about watching a male dr do that! But was fine all round, the Dr was very nice. Also I reckon anyway highly unlikely you'll have an internal exam at first GP - mine just gave me some leaflets and hospital details, organised for the free prescriptions for me, said congratulations and packed me on my way.

Flirty how did you manage silent puking?? Would be very handy in my tiny office! I've got no form whatsoever, it sounds like someone being choked to death - slowly and violently! Well done surviving the wedding - not to mention the corset.

Morning girls!

kalikaroo - I have my NT scan on Friday as well! Together with first blood tests and done by my male ob. I didn't realise it could be an internal exam. Well, better prepare...

I went to register with a gp here when I realised that I was pg. I got a nurse appointment and when she was taking my details she actualy told me off for having a too low BMI ( I'm not too skinny, just on a normal light side). I told her that I've always been like that and that I'm healthy and my diet is good, so I'm not doing anything about it.
I still thought it wasn't something she was supposed to tell me off for and considering that now I'm pg and eating non stop ( healthy and junk).
I don't think weight during pregnancy should be much of a concern if you are reasonably healthy. Some of my girlfriends gained 25 kg during pg, and were back to almost normal within about 6-12 months. My mum gained about 12 kg with me and my sister (twins) and was told off by a doctor for being too big! ( they didn't find out she was having twins until she had us...)
Anyway enough from me - too much time on my hands... I know.

Hope everyone is feeling ok today.

Hello all!

Jools Try not to worry too much about the first doctors appointment. My first GP's appointment was at 5 weeks and was exactly like Flirty-Thirty. I am now 8 + 2 and my stomach is definitely bigger - I cannot comfortably fasten my trousers and have resorted to looping a hairband through the button & hole! I am certain that this is caused by bloating - our digestive systems are sluggish from the hormones. It is NOT weight gain!

flirty kalikaroo I am also worried aout not eating healthily. I was very careful to eat a balanced diet, lots of organic food and very little pre-prepared food before i was pregnant - but now don't have the luxury of choosing what I eat. I eat whatever doesn't make me feel ill, mostly bland or salty starches & carbohydrates! For a while, I did find Ovaltine really helped too.

CE when did you first hear your babies heartbeat on that doppler?

daisyj I hope you are feeling a little better today and not too anxious.

Yup, I was off healthy stuff at the beginning too, and wanted loads of junk. I?m much better now, though , although I have to remind myself now that I don?t actually want a biscuit/piece of cake/bar of chocolate any more, as it?s amazing how quickly these things just become a habit. I got back my appetite for healthy food a couple of weeks ago (at around 11 weeks).

Binky - sorry you?re still feeling so sick, hon. Hope it eases soon.

Jools I second what everyone has said about weight, over or under. Before I had my mc, I had this awful ancient male GP, who was a complete dinosaur, and practically accused me of child abuse for not putting on weight by around week 8 . I?m not skinny, just small and a healthy 8-10 ? totally ridiculous, but you?re so vulnerable at in pregnancy that you actually do start to think that you?ve done something wrong. I really admire your willpower and you are probably fitter and healthier than lots of people with lower BMIs (including me). I know lots of really sporty people with high BMIs who are certainly not fat or unhealthy.

Generally, as long as you?re looking after yourself reasonably well the baby will take all the good nutrients and leave you with the crap, so you get spotty and tired .

BrightSide - thanks for you thoughts. Feeling a lot less anxious about this baby today, but for some reason keep thinking about my lost little one, so am prone to tears, although not depressed generally, iykwim.

CE - OMG!!! MJIM is two weeks early!! I was thinking about her yesterday. Haven?t been on Bonkers for a week or so. Will dash over there now. She was due on my first due date ? I feel quite choked.

daisyj - I totally sympathise. I'm still an 8 (I'm 5ft 8.5) and have been eating very healthily and in larger amounts than usual but have nevertheless been criticised quiet aggressively for not putting on any weight. I try to take it in my stride and put it down to narrow-mindedness but in a dark corner of my consciousness I do feel bad that I'm now over 17 weeks gone and still comfortably in all my old clothes. I think I've put on about a kilo or two. No more, though.

lolianja for you. What do they want, eh? Are you supposed to eat doughnuts for every meal (actually, that sounds quite tempting). As long as the baby is growing as it should, I can't see what else you can do. Anyway, two tall, skinny girls I work with both had babies in the last year and neither of them looked as though they put on an ounce apart from the baby - no puffy faces or expanding thighs there! They both just looked as though they'd shoved a football up their tops by the end .

Anyway, I just looked at your profile, and you're only 20 so your metabolism is probably just super-fast. I reckon the baby speeds it up, anyway, and if you used to drink and you've now cut it out that totally explains why you wouldn't have put much weight on yet. My mum was even smaller than me in her pregnancies and she wore her regular clothes till she was nearly 25 weeks, so there you go!

flirty - so glad you enjoyed the wedding. I knew it would be ok - I had to laugh at the sick bag in the hotel room though - sorry! . Sorry you are feeling sick more though - it is pants! Thanks for the advice re the MIL smoking - tbh she won't quit, I KNOW this, but I want her to realise how we both feel.

jools- I have a male GP and went for my first appoinment at 4-5 weeks. he only took BP and HR and asked if I drank, smoked and was taking folic acid. Nothing scary! You would only have an internal at the EPU eg if you had been spotting or in pain. You should feel proud of your weight loss - don't let anyone make you feel otherwise! (I also have a friend who has a high BMI who is very fit, she runs marathons etc!)

kalikaroo - The midwife made me laugh when she weighed me at my booking in appt. I took off my shoes (force of habit!) and she laughed and said - "you won't be doing that in 9 months!" LOL! I was also off anything remotely healthy til about 11-12 weeks, suddenly I am loving vegetables and fruit again! I'm making up for all the c**p I ate in the first trimester! (the MW said it's very normal btw and the baby will def take all the good stuff!)

binkyb - haribo!! I love them! On the day of being sick 6 times (a day I never want to repeat!)I think I ate one bag of haribo, i choc bar and 2 bagels! something like that! . I had 2 internal scans when miscarrying also, I was pretty embarrassed to have DP there but you just have to get on with it. To be fair, he was less embarrassed than me! Good luck for your scan!

Skiingone - at your Mum not knowing it was twins til she had them! Thank god that doesn't happen any more!

brightside - I think I first heard the heartbeat at about 10.5 weeks. It can vary apparently - some days it's really hard to find cos the baby wriggles around a lot! (plus the heart is like 5mm big so it's like looking for a needle in a haystack!)

daisyj - so sorry you are feeling sad about your lost little one at the moment. It would be odd if you weren't thinking about it as the EDD comes around. Remember we are here if you need to offload. At least you have something positive to look forward to now and as you say you are feeling a little less anxious about this beanie! yey!

Waves to anyone I've missed xxx

I'm ok today - not really feeling sick day to day anymore, just if overtired. I am not wearing the maternity stuff yet, just wearing a slightly larger size of normal clothes! I'm feeling very hormonal and quite tearful myself - not sure why! (blardy hormones!)

Well the GP appt was, as everyone said it would be, all a bit of an anticlimax really He did tell me I was overweight - I then referred him to previous recorded weights, at which point he decided to be impressed at my weight loss

Form filled in and he dictated a referral to the midwife - told me I'd get an appointment with her at around the twelve week mark. Oh, I had to choose a hospital aswell, so went for the most local one as apparently the maternity unit at the other may well be moving around the time I could need it...

Herts sounds like it is in the dark ages as regards scans though First and only scan at 20 weeks, and no nuchal scan on the NHS so I've got to pay £140 to have it done privately I was secretly hoping for an early "dating" scan ...

I thought everywhere did 12 week scans ?