First time mums expecting Spring babies

[FlirtyThirty]

Hello!

I'm expecting my first baby on 24 April. I'm currently only 4+4 but have NO symptoms at all! Have just retested as I'm convinced I've imagined it!

Went to Dr yesterday to share the news and have to wait for hospital 'choose & book' paperwork so that I can arrange first scan for around 10 October.

There seems to be so many decisions to make all of a sudden...

Anyway...just wondered how you other first timers were finding things...or your other halves for that matter. Mine is still in total shock in spite of this being a planned baby!

Flirty x

Morning all,

Am doing Ok - although the MS is there. I managed to eat a tiny amount of dinner last night and it seemed to help. I do feel guilty though - as my DH prepares these lovely delicious meals and I only manage to nibble a few mouthfuls. Then 2 hours later, I am nibbling crackers or toast again!! It goes against every childhood lesson about 'finish your meal and no snacking!' I might try acupuncture...I am a big fan of alternative medicine. I insist that reflexology helped us conceive this little one!

I wanted to wait until after my nuchal scan to tell work too...however, I may need to tell my boss sooner. They want me to go to the US for a business trip on the 29th. Whilst I would love to go from a professional point of view, I am very paranoid pathetic nervous - as it means I will be abroad when I am 10 weeks, which is exactly when things went wrong last time. I can't bear the thought of being away from my DH and doctors if something goes wrong again. I told my boss that I couldn't go because of personal reasons, but she will want more of an explanation - I am sure. I feel guilty for not wanting to go (It is a great professional opportunity) but my gut is saying no...also (from an even more selfish point of view)I cannot imagine how I would cope with MS and jetlag!

I would really like to take a full year off for maternity leave(in a dream world of course!). I can definitely manage 9 months but will have to look more closely at the finances before extending it! I get 3 months full pay, 3 months half and then the SMP.

CE How much annual leave do you get? You could always add that onto the beginning / end of your mat leave to extend it?

It is a relief to see that others have mild AF-type cramps. I seem to get them randomly every few days - not too bad, but worrying nontheless!

Brightside - for my tuppence worth...I have just returned forma long biz trip and the MS was an absolute killer! I was SO pleased to be home. Until I had experienced it myself, I would have been in the gung-ho...'go to the US and all will be well' camp - now I would strongly caution against it. (If you knew me in RL, you would realise how contrary that is to my norm!) Being sick and away is awful...and worse than anything is the constant threat of not being near a toilet and embarrasing yourself...let alone the hosted dinners in nice restaurants when all you want is to curl up in bed with a slice of toast....

As for me...I have a family wedding this weekend and I'm dreading it (how awful to even thing that!!)
I am wearing a dress with a built in corset which will kill me with this nausea (no alterntaive outfit either!), and no one knows I'm PG so will have to try and hide the sickness (God knows how)....am looking forward to coming home already!

Thanks for that voice of reason flirty - I was the proverbial gung-ho pregnant person in my first pregnancy, I flew on a business trip when I was 6 weeks pregnant - it was a really intense week of 18 hour days. When I miscarried, I admit that one of my first questions to the doctor was whether the trip had any effect. Of course...the answer was no...but you never let that doubt go. I am feeling more confident about my decision to stay behind. Figure this baby is going to affect my career anyway -may as well start now

I really feel sorry for you at that wedding, tight clothes are the worst!! Good luck. Make sure your DH carries a supply of dry crackers & tissues Maybe you should pretend to have this winter vomiting virus that is currently going around...it will explain any nauseas moments & your staying away from alcohol?

"brightside" - a friend of mine went on a business trip obverseas with an early pregnancy and miscarried while overseas, she felt alone, it was not easy to get medical advice and she was so unwell and distraught that she couldn't get her job done there anyway. This end up being worse for her work that if she didn't go. I don't think the trip had caused the MC, but it's just nice to take it easy when possible just for your own peace of mind.

BrightSide - I'm with the others on this. If you feel the slightest doubt, I say don't go. Before my mc I would have done the trip at 10 weeks, now no way. Also, I'm firmly of the opinion that it is in people's best interest to tell one or two people at work for the support. You will only have to tell your boss if something does go wrong... However, I am pathologically incapable of keeping things to myself generally (I'm fine with other people's secrets, it's my own I can't keep .

flirty - don't forget to breathe! Seriously, it's amazing what that can do to help, and it's particularly easy to end up breathing really shallowly when you're wearing tight clothes. And eat really slowly...

skiiingone and everyone else, would love to join you tomorrow, but sadly now have urgent things to do related to making our flat habitable again. Really hope weather is good and you have a lovely time. Maybe we can try to meet again before Christmas, and show off our bumps .

xx

Hi ladies! Sorry can't make the 20th (going to cheer on a friend in her half marathon - brave girl) but would definitely be up for another time. Yes to compare bumps Daisyj!

Quick question for flirty (and anyone else who has been so far) - did you take your other half to your booking in appt? We have our scan next Wednesday and booking in the day afterwards. Obviously he's coming to the scan but I wasn't sure about the next day, is it worth it?

Brightside it's superfluous now but to add my voice to the others, don't go if you don't want to. It sounds a long time away in a hotel room on your own when you probably need company most. Anyway that's just my opinion, I've turned into a clingy cling-on since being PG!

Re. telling work I am going to after my scan. Might just tell 2 bosses and then tell the others a couple of weeks later. I work for a small company (7 of us) so it's a little family anyway - until I drop my bombshell! No idea how they are going to take it. I won't get any maternity pay other than statutory. What is that, twenty pence a week?? I'm not sure about time off, had always thought I'd take 9 months to a year but well if it is twins that changes everything - double the childcare, would have to weigh up if it's worth it...

Hope you're all having a puke-free day.
Love
Binky x

It looks like we should postpone the meet up maybe till we've all had out Nuchal scans or til after 20 week scans. By then it will definitely be a coffee/ juice/lunch meet up, don't think picnic would be an option

Going to have a look at the shops now, need new jeans & pants that fit...

Thanks everyone for your support on the business trip thing! Amazing how guilty I feel for putting myself and the baby first....my boss just sent me an email saying she really thinks I should go...so I intend to speak to her after her meeting finishes. Will let you know how it goes. I really didn't want to tell her so soon, but daisy you have a point about needing support. If things go wrong, I will tell them anyway...and if things go well, I will tell them eventually!

binky I am also super clingy! My DH was on a business trip earlier this week and I was on the phone to him every 5 minutes, normally I LOVE the time to myself

I am sorry that I have to miss the get-together this saturday but am looking forward to the next one

Here's a little thing that makes me smile every time I think of it: being referred to as 'the mother' on a scan-related document (can't remember which one) the other day. I particularly liked it as after an mc you kind of feel that you are in limbo in that respect (neither a mother nor precisely not a mother), and somehow just reading those words made it feel more official

Hi girls

brightside - as has been said, it is not until you have a mc that you realie how horrid it would be to have it happen while away from home, family and your nice doctor! I would say def don't go if you don't want to and don't feel under pressure - it might be easier to tell her the truth though.

binky - I just went on my own to the booking in. It was pretty boring to be frank! I don't think DP missed anything at all. Just take them to the scan's and to look round the labour ward etc

I feel terribly guilty for ranting about my maternity leave ..sorry. I realise that some folks get much less than what I will be entitled to, so I mustn't complain. I think we will try to save up a bit in the coming months as suggested.

Mind if I join you lovely ladies ? I've been following this thread, hoping I may be able to join you and the free Clearblue digi has just told me I can .

This won't strictly be a Spring baby - think I'll be due around 29/05, all being well.

It will be my first time though, so I'd love to share first time experiences as this all feels quity scary and new.

I guess I'm relatively ancient to be a first timer as I'm 39 in a couple of months.

A bit nervous and shell-shocked at the moment, but very happy. DP and I had spent so long waiting for the right time - both in good jobs, earning good money etc, that I was worried I'd missed my chance, so I'm feeling very relieved aswell.

Welcome Jools1!
Glad to hear your good news.

We all seem to he having our first ones after 30 here ( I think).
End of May is still spring and you'll have us who will go through all of it in advance!

Hello Jools1. Congratulations - I think May 29 is still definitely spring.

brightside: sentiments already expressed are absolutely right, I think. I'm doing three business trips, all within the UK, within three weeks and I did not enjoy the first stint - and that was without any real sickness. Not only do I yawn nonstop at the moment, which looks unprofessional, but I'm scared I'll miscarry and end up in A&E in a strange city. Plus, of course, working days are so long on trips like these, with the networking and evening stuff ... To cap it all my fiance is away in Brazil every other week, Mon-Fri, until Christmas - I just don't know how I'll cope if something goes wrong! Sorry to whinge a bit. Nine weeks today. Rather too emotional!

I can't make the 20th any longer, I'm afraid - have to head north for business trip number 2 ... you can probably work out what my specialism is by now!

BinkyB - I think after the 12-week scan is just the right time to tell work. I should think I'll start showing soon after that as I'm tall and pretty slim.

Re maternity leave, I surreptitiously checked on the company intranet today and found the policy is full pay for 18 weeks and then SMP. Half my colleagues seem to take a full year off - I have no idea how they afford it! It's not as though any of the bills go away ... am wondering whether, given the economic issues right now, we can negotiate a couple of month's smaller mortgage repayments before I go back to work.

Oh, and it may just be genes as my mother wasn't sick at all, but I've read that vitamin B6 can prevent morning sickness. I've been taking it twice a day for several months and have only been physically sick once, which judging from some of the experiences on this thread is pretty good going. Or I might just not be producing enough of the right hormones ... who knows? ... ach.

Hi all

Welcome Jools1 - many congrats!!

Guessing that the meet up tomorrow is postponed? Would definitely be up for a get together later in the year if people fancy it.

Brightside - I completely agree with what's been said re: your trip, don't go if you don't want to. Hope chat with boss went well!

Binky - our company policy is the same as yours, which they are saying is the basic SMP deal ie 6 weeks at 90% of full pay and after that £400 SMP per month. Not sure sure how they expect anyone to manage on that!!! Luckily I have some savings and will also save madly over the coming months so hopefully will get by somehow......

Hi all

Welcome Jools1 - many congrats!!

Guessing that the meet up tomorrow is postponed? Would definitely be up for a get together later in the year if people fancy it.

Brightside - I completely agree with what's been said re: your trip, don't go if you don't want to. Hope chat with boss went well!

Binky - our company policy is the same as yours, which they are saying is the basic SMP deal ie 6 weeks at 90% of full pay and after that £400 SMP per month. Not sure sure how they expect anyone to manage on that!!! Luckily I have some savings and will also save madly over the coming months so hopefully will get by somehow......

morning ladies. hooray for friday!! hope you are all well. congrats and welcome to jools.

we were having the ' when to tell work' and ' how long to take off ' discussions last night. im not sure what to do really. think we will wait for our nuchal sacn - 12 weeks plus 2 and if this is ok then will tell them. my folks are coming this weekkend so i think we will break the news and just pray that our scan is ok - saying that the support will be much needed whatever happens.

i am slightly alarmed in that i have already gained 2.5kg - 11 weeks. is this normal?? i have been eating a lot of kit kats and mars bars though - cant stop myself!!

binky - i have not been sick either, thank goodness as im not sure i could have coped with the tiredness and sickness and horrid work all at the same time, feel for you poor things that have had to! my mum didnt have any sickness with the 3 of us so maybe it is in the genes. she did get horrendous heartburn later on though so im sure its all to come.

skiing - i too will be over 30 as its my 31st tomorrow. i think it feels right now, cant imagine that i was ever sensible enough in my 20s.

oh well, back to it. catch up later xx

Hello lovely ladies... would I be able to come and play on this thread too? Only just found it...

I'm a first-timer too and due 19 April. Will be (hopefully if all goes well) having baby at Kingston Hospital. Not had date for 12 week scan yet - am 9+5 today.

Nausea/sickness on and off - just posted on a different thread saying I think I actually prefer it when I'm feeling sick as when it subsides I panic that something's wrong.

Oh, and I'm hoping to make pregnancy general knowledge to friends at my 30th birthday party at end of October

Morning guys

Not sure the news has sunk in yet, and I keep thinking I ought to be actually doing something now.

First simple question of probably thousands - when to call the GP and make it all official ? It feels like tempting fate to call today - at 4 weeks exactly. Would they laugh me out of the surgery and tell me to come back in 4 weeks ??

Hi Jools - I saw my GP at 4 weeks. Glad I did as I had to call her a fortnight later when I panicked at some spotting and she was super reassuring. They will tell you to choose a hospital and then let them know your choice, so I'd get on with that so you've time to maybe visit some hospitals.

Bicnod I know exactly what you mean! Am not feeling sick today and yesterday I didn't puke once, which after 4 times the day before made me feel like a new woman. However now I am worrying, what if one of the twins has gone, what if they both have, oh awful things. Can't win!

Assuming though that this is just a good day I should be grateful for, it's our scan next week on the 24th and my birthday on 28th, having a big pub lunch with friends and have decided to tell all then. Can't keep up this hermit-like existence, am dying of boredom. Plus they would spot me not drinking and work it out!

Littleduck I've just decided we'll be poor for a while. My parents had a few lean years when we were kids and lots of UK camping holidays did us no harm! We can switch our mortgage to interest only so that will help. However we really must move to a bigger house if we're having two little bundles of joy and need room for all the crap essential equipment that comes with each, so not sure how we'll manage that one. So long, champagne lifestyle... Hello beans on toast every day!

Jools - no rush to let gp know. usually we get people to book in with the midwife at about 8 weeks. if you do see your gp they will usually give some advice - foods to avoid, stop drinking, smoking. start folic acid - 400 microg daily unless reason that might neeed high dose. etc etc. you should do 2 preg tests - clear blue are best.

hope this helps xx

ps - i suppose different areas may do things differently x

Hello all!!

Welcome Jools and Bicnod...congratulations.

Won't Kingston be full in Spring!! That makes 4 or 5 of us?

Another over-30 new mum here - I will be 32 when the baby is born.

I haven't spoken to my boss yet as we missed each other yesterday but have time together over lunch, so I will tell her then.

Elpis I can't blame you for being emotional - things sound hectic for you!! And I am sure I am having a blonde moment but can't figure out what you do? Another clue?

binky and Biknod I know exactly what you mean about the sickness! I still feel ill - but it hasn't been as bad as before so (of course) I am worried that it means something. Just can't win!!

evs that weight gain doesn't sound too unreasonable. In fact - I have been worried about the fact that I have lost weight in the last few weeks. Admittedly - it isn't like I am (or ever will be) stick thin, but it still doesn't seem right!

Elpis, i dont know what you do either!

Sorry, I wasn't meaning to be so enigmatic! I'm a desk editor but I specialise in politics, so I go to the party conferences - Labour starts in Manchester tomorrow. It's a bit of a self-absorbed world ... I forget how little it affects everyone outside it!

Moving on, is it true that at 10 weeks you can get an idea of what bra size you're going to be until the last month or two? Because I am just longing for a new bra. They're straining at the leash, as it were...

Ahhhh, now it's all clear Elpis. Sorry I was puzzled too, but my brain is concentrating on food and clothes to wear at the moment...

I bought 2 new bras 2 weeks ago as all mine were too tight especially around the ribs, the new ones were 5cm wider than my usual ones, but now they also feel tight soooo quickly. So yesterday I bought a soft cotton bra another 5cm wider ( it can also be used as a nursing bra! - but I'm sure I'll be much bigger by then) and so far feeling comfy, but I wonder if I'll have to buy a new bra every few weeks now . So my advice is to buy straight away a bra that is a bit big/loose as it won't be very soon.
xx