First time mums expecting Spring babies

[FlirtyThirty]

Hello!

I'm expecting my first baby on 24 April. I'm currently only 4+4 but have NO symptoms at all! Have just retested as I'm convinced I've imagined it!

Went to Dr yesterday to share the news and have to wait for hospital 'choose & book' paperwork so that I can arrange first scan for around 10 October.

There seems to be so many decisions to make all of a sudden...

Anyway...just wondered how you other first timers were finding things...or your other halves for that matter. Mine is still in total shock in spite of this being a planned baby!

Flirty x

Hi everyone!

Hope you all had a good weekend - playing catch up as usual to see everyone's news!

CE - lovely pics, they are adorable! Thanks for the tips re: the sonographer going silent whilst checking everything, will save a bit of worry if that's what happens for me.

Bicnod - would kind of like to go for the Malden but wondering if I would cope without an epidural; like Flirty's idea of starting in the Malden and transferring to standard delivery suite if needed, didn't know that you could do that, sounds great as would be the best of both worlds.

Lolianja - glad to hear all is OK

Kittycat - welcome!

Flirty - no heartbeat heard or movement yet either, I am a few days behind you as 16 weeks today, same as you with Kingston no more checks until scan at 21 weeks.

Pinkadink - how exciting that you have felt your baby move!

Binky - glad your sickness has died down, long may it last!

Skiing - glad to hear that the chiro is making a difference for the better.

DP and I haven't thought about names much yet but my esteemed work colleagues have come up with a variety of novel suggestions. DP's surname begins with a C, so top colleague tips so far are Katie Florence (KFC) for a girl and Arthur Charles David (ACDC) for a boy. Can't wait for some more helpful ideas from them!

Still no bump when standing up other than looking a bit podgy but can definitely feel a small bump lying down.

Has anyone got as far as thinking about what they might do about childcare for as and when they go back to work? I'm thinking about starting to look round some nurseries and find out about childminders locally in the hope that I'm doing it early enough that if I find somewhere I really like they would have spaces for around this time next year. I gather the good places get booked up early.......

Sorry to anyone I've missed, hope everyone's well

Littleduck xx

Hey Flirty and Littleduck - I absolutely HATE hospitals... I mean REALLY REALLY HATE them... bad experiences... so I want to go for the Malden Suite as it isn't quite so clinical and they let you go home after a couple of hours if everything is ok. It would be my worst nightmare to stay overnight in hospital after the baby was born I'm more scared about going into hospital and being forced to stay there than I am about giving birth at the moment! I'm a bit worried about the lack of epidural as well, but they have pethidine and gas&air... it says on the leaflet that it's not usually possible to transfer you if you want to get an epidural, but they might just be saying that - would be worth asking the MW maybe?

Flirty - my DH is refusing to talk about names at the moment, he says its too soon... I think he wants to wait until the baby's born as well?! I'm hoping he'll feel differently when the bump starts kicking and it all feels a bit more real... I have a shortlist, but not much good without DH agreeing to it! It's really rubbish that you don't get GP appointments between scans, I thought they needed to keep taking your blood pressure/testing urine?

Welcome kittycat

Hi to everyone else x x

Bicnod - So sorry you're so anxious about hospital stays...that's a pressure you could do without! Can I play devil's advocate though...? I think you should start addressing your concerns about hospitals now...it may be that for whatever reason you do have to stay in...is their someone you could talk through your past experiences that may be able to help? Just a thought...
Failing that...Littleduck and I will waddle along the ward and console you!

As for the epidural transfer. I think they actively discourage the idea that you can labour in the Malden suite and transfer to the main unit for an epidural. So many people would opt for that otherwise...but I think that they accept that they may have to do this is in cases where women are just not coping with the pain... Hmmm...do you know when we have to tell them which we want to go for?

Bicnod - sorry to hear you have had horrid experiences in the past at hospital - big hugs to you. Have you mentioned it to any midwife you have seen so far? I think it would be worth doing so that they are aware of your concerns and can do something to try and address them, with the aim of making you feel as relaxed and comfortable as possible in the hospital in the event that you do need to stay in. Might help to talk thinks through perhaps with one of the midwifery team or a trusted friend, as Flirty suggests?

Will most definitely waddle along with Flirty to lend support!!

Was wondering whether Kingston offer a tour of the maternity ward/Malden - would help me to feel a bit more relaxed to see where it's all going to happen and where to go etc. Seem to recall someone saying Kingston don't do tours, but wonder if they might let us go along if we got together in a small group sometime? What do you think?

Littleduck xx

Littleduck - I asked about Kingston tours...but they said 'no'. I was told they had a video of the ward but it was out of date so the recptionist said not really worth watching. She mentioned they were having new DVDs made...though to be honest, I'm not really interested in a film, it was a general look around I wanted. Anyway...have resigned myself to not getting a look until the big day now...hoever, Bicnod, if you talk to the midwife, they may let you have a look to try and relieve some of your anxiety...?

F.x

Hi everyone. Hope you're all having a good day. I finally bought my fist pair of maternity trousers on Saturday from H&M - they're fab!! They're so comfortable, I have no idea why I didn't start wearing them earlier! They're a bit long in the legs (like all H&M trousers are on me) bur I've rolled them up a bit and they're fine now. Also tried on some of their maternity bras, but couldn't get any of them to fit over my gigantic boobs!

Still haven't felt any movements and my bump doesn't seem to begetting much bigger - trying not to get too paranoid, but I'm really desperate for my scan on the 24th to check everything's ok. I read in a book that the baby's growth slows at this stage (19 weeks), so maybe that's it.

Still got bizarre nips!! They seem to have a life of their own....!

Hi ladies!

bicnod - I can empathise totally with the hospital fears. I am the same! (thought I had mentioned earlier in the thread!). I spoke to the MW at the booking in appointment how nervous hospitals make me; sweaty palms, shakes, feeling faint, high pulse and BP! etc etc! She was very undertsanding, more so than I expected actually. She explained that she would explain everything thoroughly and I didn't have to have anything done I didn't want. She said I should consider a homebirth if I want!

In the end I will prob go into the mw led unit, it's such a small hospital that she said it would probably be just me, dp and her! (practically a homebirth!). Every time I go for an appointment I feel better - less anxious. Must be some kind of CBT for me!

Hope you can overcome your fears with me!

kalikaroo - well done on getting your mat trousers! I think wierd nipples are normal during pg! (my nipples are bigger without my boobs being bigger! They are a bit flaky on the ends as well !!!)

welcome to kittycat

CE xx (20 + 2)

Ladies - I think I am going insane (or more so than I was). I have just had to stop myself getting into a flap when I looked at my stomach in the mirror and convinced myself it had shrunk!?
Now...I do not have a discernable bump yet anyway, but I thought I was getting one over the last week, and today...it seems to have gone. (NB. Please don't get the wrong idea, I do not have a flat-board stomach. But it isn't sticking out as much as I thought it was yesterday.)
I actually got to the stage of thinking that I@d walk to the NHS walk-in place down the road and then wondered what I'd actually say:
Nurse: "What can I do for you?"
Me: "Hmm...well...I think my stomach has got smaller overnight. Oh, and no I don't feel unwell or have any unusual pains."
They would think I was a moron!"

So...I have decided that I must get a grip! Am very much looking forwrad to feeling baby move, if only to remind myself someone is actually in there...

Flirty x

flirty - if it makes you feel any better, I've been convinced I've shrunk at least once a week. Last time was this morning, as it happens. I think it's because you get used to being bigger, then you have to wait a little while between growth spurts. And don't worry, we're all mad. Pregnancy does that to ya! I have found my doppler a huge help for my more insane moments, though.

Bicnod - for you about horrible hospital experiences. Have you considered a home birth? Lewisham midwives are fairly encouraging about it, but I know not everywhere is the same... I would love one, but not sure if I'll be able to cope with the pain. I'm hoping acupuncture and meditation will help, but I may well chicken out in the last couple of weeks.

We now have names that we love (boy and girl) but are also prepared for the baby popping out and looking nothing like the names we've chosen, so have a few in reserve. Not telling anyone at the moment, but bet I will crack and tell you lot at some point

littleduck - nice initials - lol (and I think Katie Florence is a very cute name). There is a nursery round the corner that looks really nice, which I'm going to check out in the next couple of weeks. God knows how we are going to afford childcare [desperately skint emoticon]. Will check out childminders too - I'm guessing they'll be a bit cheaper than a nursery...? I feel so clueless about it all at the moment - I can just about manage the cat, can't imagine who thought I'd be qualified to be a mother...

Just taking myself off the list

Had a very quick and very very scary m/c this afternoon at 11+4 - I never even got to see beanie - dating scan was supposed to be this afternoon

Best of luck ladies - I may well still lurk and cheer you all on

March
Lolianja - EDD 2 March - Essex (but probably giving birth in Lancs)
ChocolateEclair - EDD 28th March - North Yorkshire
DaisyJ ? EDD 28 March ? Lewisham (home preferably)

April

skiingone EDD 3 April - Portland Hospital
Kalikaroo - EDD 3 April - hospital birth somewhere in deepest darkest scandinavia (not saying where cos someone in my family might read this!)
BinkyB - EDD 7 April (but think will be earlier as twins) - Chelsea & Westminster
Evs34 - EDD 8th April - North Yorkshire.
SpringySunshine - EDD 11th April - Jessops, Sheffield
Brettgirl2 - EDD 12th April Warwickshire
Pinkadink - EDD 16th April - Edinburgh
Salbysea - EDD 18 April - Dorset
Kittycat8 - EDD 19 April - Epsom Hospital
Elpis - EDD 23 April (that's what THEY say; I think 25) - Elizabeth Garrett Anderson, London
FlirtyThirty - EDD 24 April - Kingston Hospital
Bicnod - EDD 27 April - Kingston Hospital
Littleduck - EDD 27 April - Kingston Hospital

May
BRIGHTSIDEOFLIFE - EDD 1st May - Kingston Hospital
Heverhoney-EDD 2nd May - QE Woolwich
Saz007 - EDD 20 May - Durham

Oh jools I'm so very sorry - you must be devestated

Do you want to tell us what happened or is it too upsetting?

So sorry you never got to see beanie either - I don't suppose there is anything we can say that will make you feel better. Hope you and your DH are able to support each other through the next few days/weeks. There are some very good support threads on here also if you are up to it.

Massive hugs xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

OH NOOOOO Jools!!!
So very sorry to hear this!
I don't know what to say to you, it's very sad. Stay strong. I'm sure you will be joining another antenatal club on this site very soon. In the meantime please look after yourself.
Lots of hugs

CE - it was all very quick.

We were away for a lovely long weekend in Cornwall - got quite intimate on Sat night, so when I saw a smear of brown blood Sunday evening, I assumed it was because of bedroom activity.

On Monday, we travelled back to Hertfordshire - a long day on the train and I was REALLY thirsty the whole way home. That evening, I found quite a lot of watery red blood when I wiped - also noticed my boobs had deflated and DP's cigarette smoke wasn't bothering me like it has done.

Up in the night - no blood. Soon after I got up, I found one small clot and kind of knew - put a pad on and sat quietly. Got AF type cramps and backache which got worse till I felt a gush and the pad was flooded After that, I was basically a dripping tap and couldn't move from the bathroom. I phoned my midwife, who told me to go to A&E because of the fast and extreme blood loss - went to Watford as they have a dedicated Gynae A&E. Unfortunately there was such a delay, that I wasn't seen till all "bits" had passed, so there are none to examine. All they could do really was an internal examination to confirm cervix open and empty and keep an eye on my BP, which crashed for a while.

I was planning to tell my MIL after the scan - as DP doesn't drive, we had to phone her, explain everything quickly and get her to drive us over - just horrid and so sad

Somehow I feel strangely good now - how long it will last I don't know but I wonder if, on some level, I may have known something wasn't right.

I shall cry, eat chocolate, drink wine, eat smelly cheese and try to forget about babies till after Xmas I think.

I'm so sorry, Jools. It seems particularly cruel as you were just about to reach the 12-week milestone. And how awful to have to wait so long at A&E to be seen. It must have been very distressing.

It's scant comfort but perhaps it was better not to have had the scan - it might well have picked up something wrong in any case.

Thinking of you and good luck when you decide to try again.

Oh Jools this is so sad, I really feel for you. So cruel that you got so far, it must be awful for both of you. Hope you're doing OK and taking it very easy. I hear the support group on mumsnet is a great help to lots of other women with similar stories, maybe check in there to 'meet' some people who've been there and will completely understand. And, after Xmas when you're ready to try again there is a great thread for women who've been through a MC and are on to panicking about PG no2..

Mostly just spoil yourself for a while, after what you've been through you'll need it. Am thinking of you
xxx

Oh Jools - how devastating! I am so sad for you - and the timing somehow seems to make it all the more tragic. Life is so cruel sometimes. I hope that you have the time and strength to come to terms with this - I know I would really struggle. Do whatever you feel necessary to get yourself and DH through this. If you feel able, do stick around and I'm sure we'll do anything possible to help you if you. Thinking of you...

Flirty x

Jools - very sorry to hear your news. Look after yourself and get plenty of TLC.

Oh Jools I'm so very sorry to hear your news . I had an early miscarriage at 5 weeks in February so can understand what you are going through, but I can imagine it would be even harder physically and emotionally at the stage you got to. Take the time you need to grieve and get over this with your DP. As the others have said the miscarriage and pregnancy after miscarriage support boards on here are very good when you feel ready. Take care of yourself.

Just had my first full-on pregnancy brained moment: was on the phone to a company and they asked for my home address, and I couldn't remember what number my flat was, even though I've been living there for 2 years!!!!! Arrrgggghhhh!

Think I need to go and have a lie down....

Jools, you poor darling. Nothing we say will make it better for you. rest and take care of yourself and make sure you get signed off for a cpl of weeks so that you can have the time to yourself to gather your thoughts.

sending you lots of hugs. all the very best for the future. love evs xxxx

Jools I'm so so sorry. Sending huge hugs.

x x x

Jools - so very, very sorry. I had a very similar experience to you, timing wise and that it happened with a lot of bleeding over a short space of time. Like you I think I always 'knew' something was wrong, but when you get so close to that 12-week mark it is so devastating. If you need to talk or rant, the MC avengers thread is full of wonderful women who are really supportive.

Be kind to yourself - there's no right or wrong way to feel, of course, but things may hit you harder in the next few weeks and months, and that's OK, too.

to you, hon.
xx

Hi girls - VERY quiet on here!

Jools - hope you are ok if you're still lurking!

I have finally started to feel the baby move yey! It is the most amazing feeling ever! I keep telling anyone around every time I feel a little kick! lol!!! DP can't feel a thing though so is feeling a bit left out.

Hope all babies and mums are well

CE xx (20+6)

Thanks everyone

Yes, I am still lurking - can't quite bring myself to let go yet, although I have found some lovely threads and support in the miscarriage forum and will make that home for a while.

It is still exciting to hear everyone's news - I really hope I will be back with you one day.

Bleeding has more or less stopped but I'm still in a reasaonable amount of discomfort. I have no way of knowing, but am guessing it must be internal organs moving back to where they where and the opposite of stretching pains My mum tells me I have given birth, albeit to something smaller than a full term baby. TMI I guess but it certainly felt like it at one point - on Wed night, pain intensified to the point where I had to call the hospital again, then I quite literally got the urge to push and out came something really large - the strangest feeling that made me feel physically sick, but then all the pain went away.

I am meeting a friend for lunch soon - was supposed to be seeing her for a girlie chat, and to pick up my birthday present on tuesday but obviously couldn't make that I'm not sure how I'm going to cope with talking about this in RL. We decided last night that I'm going to go out and buy one of those little Children in Need Pudsey bears to remember beanie by - I had no scans, so need something physical to look at - hopefully that will be a memorial.

Jools I don't even know what to say. I'm so very sorry. Big hug from me.