Due March 2009? Grab your duvet & sick bucket!!

[auntyspan]

Brand new thread ladies!

babyinbelly my dad was 35 when i was born and what you might consider an older parent! He was the strictest dad EVER! I won't go into detail but I actually hated him for a number of years when I was younger (I know thats what teenagers say, but I actually did) I love him now though of course!! As a result I am going tot ry and adopt a slightly less strict style of parenting...although I could completely change my mind if bambino turns into a little shit!!! Which of course it won't

The example that springs to mind is that I think my ds should not snatch/hit/push other children and I will tell him off if he tries to do this so he knows it is unacceptable. Older mothers I know say that if their child does this sort of thing then the other child should learn to stand up for themselves and will not tell of their dc/give toy back to my son. Other general things like breaking things and jumping on sofa etc as well.

Not saying its a bad thing but just not what I would do.

emma I was probably thinking more of older mums actually. My dad was quite strict actually and he was 40 when I was born iyswim

heck no!! No child of mine would get away with snatching a toy or jumping on furniture...just not acceptable!!

I am such a fat bloater...just finished my lunch...are you ready?! Sandwich, bag of mini cheddars, 2 petit filous youghurts (th only way I can get calcium inside me as can eat anything else!!) 2 slices of water melon a twix a can of fanta and a cup of tea! fat cow!!

CaptainKarvol and lizziemun -- as long as the kids are out of nappies before we're in 'em ourselves, I think we've done well!

And just think of all the extra wisdom we can bring to bear...we must have picked SOMETHING valuable up in the last decade, right?

hmm, well obviously am 21 so will be a young mum by conventions sense. However, I had a really amazingly full life for a 21 year old on all sides of things, some of it was horrible and full of 'too young' moments and some of it was absolutely wonderful.

Consequently have just grown up very quickly and DP and I have ended up being very keen on having a child earlier than usual (he is the son of young parents himself) as we really liked the idea of being young and having lots of energy. It means that financially we are not in as secure a position as we would like (this DC is particularly badly timed!) but it won't be like that forever, since we have both have degrees already and lots of potential for higer paid jobs in the future. Which makes us very lucky! Even if the education doesn't really pay off financially, it's just not about that for us and we're very happy.

I also know plenty of 20 year olds who are not even remotely ready to have kids, so no judging on my part of people that chose to wait until later. It makes far more sense to have kids when you are most happy with the idea then when you feel you should, because happy mums = happy kids. We just couldn't have put up with waiting much longer!

Hmm, this makes it sound like DC as planned. Was actually as accident, we were just in the process of planning when BFP turned up!

Don't feel obliged to read this...I just realised its quite long! But I found it very catharti

laweasel I am similar to you in a lot of way! I have had a pretty full life already! I watched my grandad die on holiday when I was 7 for which my sister blamed me for a good couple of years...lots of nightmares and conselling! Then from aged 13-17 my dad would argue violently with my mum and usually bring something up about me, make me stand there and listen to it and then tell me that if he and my mum split up it would be my fault! Then I got some freedom! Because my dad ruled with an iron fist when I left to go to uni I went wild! I crammed in a good 5 years into 1 in my first year! Some may say I was a binge drinker...but to me I was a student having a good time, this year did pretty much party me out though!! Then the next year I decided I was sick of being single and turned a bit promiscuous (sp) as I couldn't find "the one"...I had a few friends 'with benefits'!! Then I met DP but for the first couple of months i couldnt let myself believe it was gonna last so i carried on talking to, never meeting, one of my 'friends with benefits'but DP found out, we very nearly broke up but we worked through it and were stronger than ever. Then I moved in with him, then I got kicked out of uni, probably due to years 1 and 2!! then we moved house again and set up home properly! Although I haven't got as much wisdom in me as someone with more years...I have crammed a lot in, and a lot of emotional stuff, which has mad me grow up quicker than normal! I meet some 23-26 year olds and I just cant beleive how immature they are (even my sister!) So although we could be financially more secure we are 100% emotionally ready both as individuals and as a couple. However, since my dad turned over a new leaf I have become his little girl all over again so trying to convince him of this could be a whole other story!!

Emma I completly agree. Those of us who have done loads grow up quicker. not had quite the same experiences as you but had a pretty full life in all. My sister is 25 and still not grown up!

lol, yep, different again, but no less full. I try not to use it as a reason though, because I worry that people will psych 101 me and say I am trying to prove I can be a better parent than my mother. It's not about that at all, it's just about being ready now, and probably young enough to be impatient enough to refuse to wait!

My sister is just about to turn 24 and very excited to be an aunt, but not even remotely inclined to be a mum herself yet. I don't think she's less grown up than me, I just think she sees the world differently to the way I do, and there's nothing wrong with that.

laweasel "young enough to be impatient enough to refuse to wait" did you read my mind?!?!

corgikelly

I've had 2 9lb + babies it may to late for me.

I'm not sure its about "being grown up". I think when you have had to work through any major issue/problems it changes you as a person and makes you question what you want out of life.

For me my personal struggle with ill health and the consequences that has had on my life has made me put family (including DH) above all else. For me my life is not what I do for a living, the house I live in, the things I own, it is about the people I share it with. Loosing everything I thought was important and realising none of it was, has turned me into the person I am today and made me much more inclined towards having a family rather than a high flying career or going out and getting pissed regularly.

lizzie 2 9lb+ babies?! you just mademy eyes water!!! I was 8lb 11oz, really hope baby is like 7lb!!

My husband and I got married at 26 and we could have easily have had a baby there and then as emotionally we were ready. Financially however, was a whole other story. We were in debt from the wedding, from personal loans and credit cards, graduate loans and over drafts. We were just USELESS with money. It all changed in a day though - or at least our attitude to it all. We decided enough was enough (we were about £44k in debt) and started to get a grip on our finances. Within 3 years we were debt free and had bought a 3 bedroom house in London ready to house a family. My career (salary) and the rising house market played a big part in that, but mainly we just realised we had been utterly crap in the past.

We are now set up for this baby and it's absolutely the right time to have it. Actually, that's not quite true -- it would have been better if I was a little less pregnant so that I don't have to tell my employers before year-end bonus allocation, which will probably be a lot lower when they hear I am pregnant. Hey ho - it's still a guaranteed 20% of my salary though, so we;ll still be able to get things for the bub.

Am going for dating scan tomorrow by the way - yip yip.

And have just received the BIGGEST bunch of flowers I have ever seen from my creative agency (I work in advertising and I told them yesterday during our meeting) and I am over-whemled. It is massive! I don't have a vase big enough.

Love being pregnant (so far).

wow boobz! I am so of your flowers!! Good for you though! Woohoo...scan...how exciting!!

It's SO interesting reading what everyone thinks about the age thing. I am a startlingly immature 37 (not in a drinking partying kind of way, just I've not had to face much adversity yet in life) - at 20ish I was a complete child - shy, insecure and not aware what I wanted from life. I'm still quite like that, but putting in the years has made some difference to me!

And boobz, the flowers sound gorgeous!

I have just had the phone call for my booking in appt, in 2 weeks time. The midwife is on holiday next week, so I have to wait an extra week, just my luck!

I agree Captain, I think the discussion today has been very interesting.

I also think Boobz has raised an interesting point about debt/lack of money which effects many people throughout life but certainly when you are young. So many people in their 20's are just starting out in careers so are not that well paid yet, plus have debt from uni/weddings/being far too lax with spending (I would actually have to say I am guilty on this one ), have fallen brunt of the crazy house price rise of the last few years etc etc. So many, even if they want kids simply cannot afford to, which I think is a bit sad and quite different to choosing to wait. I have several friends that want kids but cannot afford to for various reason and its not as if they actually have bad jobs!

I want flowers now .

Its amazing people are still waiting for booking apts! I've already seen the MW twice.

I can't eblieve people are still waiting! I have seen doctor 3 times about pg related stuff, midwife once, had scan and seeing midwife again on tuesday! I feel spoilt!

Playingthe9monthwait you're right "grown up" doesn't really cover it.

CaptainKarvol I don't think that not facing adversity makes anybody immature! Or on other hand that facing it makes you automatically more mature, personally I really feel that with many things it's just the result of how you react to things. You can have a hard life and become very mature because you learn early on how to be responsible and look after yourself, but also be immature in other respects with regards to say emotional maturity that would make it hard to be a mum.

It's all very complicated really! All I can really say for sure is when you know, you know and for some reason lots of ppl with trickier lives seem to 'know' earlier. I don't know why. I also don't know if I'm part of some huge foolish mistake, but there's where the learning to be responsible early helps. Hee hee.

boobz I wish I was either less pregnant (so it would be easier to get a job and not feel bad about lying all the time) Or more, so I could have just taken ML from last job when I moved and not had to quit.

Anyway, I want to hear about people's jumping beans. Mine is fine today, but I ate huge amounts of salt yesterday to appease he/she/it's cravings. Hopefully this will not do lasting damage...

I agree weasel. I think people change as their life experiences happen to them (call that mature if you want) and as things happen in life you are guided/grow into the person you are and what you want out of life changes. If you had a lot happen to you early on in life you change sooner, for worse or better, maybe you rebel, maybe you want to settle down earlier? It all depends on the individual.

Oh and bean wise, I have now gone 2 days wothout throwing up!!! . Have awful tiredness still and today have develop bad heartburn, but hey, anything beats throwing up! Got my 12 week scan in just under 2 weeks, i can't wait!

hello, everyone,

am at my mum and dad's on holiday and I think all the lovely fresh air and yummy food my mum is cooking has helped my sickness a bit, I THINK it might be easing a little...am 10 weeks and a day, think I read it sometimes eases about now....

looked at my tummy today and really think it has popped out a bit - my mum thinks so too! eek!

I still feel knackered and have been eating for 5 I reckon, but still no sickness so pretty lucky really.

I have had my bloods done and that's it so far. Have dating scan tomorrow, Nuchal Scan on Monday (if I am at least 11 weeks) and MW appointment on Tuesday.

For those that have already had kids - do you start to talk about the kind of birth you want at your first MW appointment - i.e. home birth?