Due in Jan 2009 - Grumps, bumps and heffalumps (the 3rd thread)

[LenniEd]

He he Loved that idea FLF!

Mrs Magpie - really hope you manage to get a scan sooner, somehow. All this bureaucracy is so frustrating.

Have had an emotional day after being told that my blood tests came back 'high risk' for Downs or other chromosomal problem. It is 1/170, which could be a lot worse, I know ( everything under 250 counts as high risk). But now am in a quandary whether to have an amnio ( with risk of mc) or not. I am finding all this decision-making and weighing of risks very hard and almost wish I had never had the blood test.

I keep veering between a desperate desire to know and the thought of how awful it would be to miscarry a perfectly healthy baby because of a silly test; and also the thought that with babies, maybe you just get what you get and I would love it no matter what.

They offered me another option of an additional ultrasound at 18 weeks ( which is only 50-50 accurate in picking things up) which I am thinking I might go for ( and can then opt for an amnio after that if they advise it). But will probably have decided something else by the morning!

Columboswife I'm sure elk will be along soon with some advice since she has just been through this herself. I would feel exactly the same over the amnio risk - it is a hard one, but I'm sure you will come to a decision that is right for you. I hope it is all ok.

Elkiedee congratulation on your news,it must be such a relief.

On the shopping front I am also a Mothercare and H&M fan. I can't be bothered with mail ordering maternity stuff anymore as I have big boobs anyhow, but massive ones when pg and a lot of the things just don't look right with enormous amounts of cleavage - I hate my boobs when I'm pg, feel obscene in everything. Anything low cut is asking for trouble and anything too high makes them look like giant melons trying to escape . H&M have maternity in Leeds and in the city centre store in Manchester if anyone is up north.

MrsMagpie i am for you. Surely they can't just expect you to be able to make the appointment they gave you or lump it. There should always be room for adjustments in appointments.

Poor, good luck with the scan tomorrow

Today i went up to Winchester because they have a Blooming marvellous there and i wanted to check it out. I got some nice clothes in the sale They have a georgous bookcase i want to buy for dd when we convert her into the big bedroom. It's lovely. Here it is, although at that price i think i best get saving...

ms magpie what a pain with scan hope you get an early scan date than 25 wks.
columbo sorry for results i am sure that all will be well.
pop good luck with scan .

well i am off to hull for a week so spk in a wk

CW, sorry to hear you're going through the same sort of stress I was. There are quite a few threads on CVS and amnio started by people in this kind of position, which you may find useful to read. Those figures don't sound so scary until they might apply to you, do they? On the miscarriage risk, the consultant (ie a very experienced doctor) who carried my test advised me that the risk had already dropped a lot by the end of the test as there'd been no problems collecting the sample cells.

This is an organisation which offers information and advice including telephone helplines

www.arc-uk.org/

I'm glad now that I had the diagnostic test (CVS in my case as I was 12+4 when I got the screening, could get it before 14 weeks and certainly didn't want to wait for amnio at 16+) but wonder if I'd have been happier never going for the initial screening, not having thought about what it means.

Over the weekend I'd prepared myself (a little) for the worst but what worried me most was the prospect of arguing with my mum and being told again that she doesn't think dp and I could cope with a disabled child. Apparently she also had that conversation with dp and I'm glad, he managed not to get too cross. I may not know how we would cope, but it's up to us to decide that, surely?

misssparkle its 40% off if you use NTS4

I heard my baby's heartbeat this morning! After feeling quite pragmatic at the 12 wk scan, I was surprised to feel suddenly very tearful when I heard it. The consultant said we were lucky to hear it so easily at 15+2 weeks, and it was a really nice surprise.

But apart from that nice surprise, I have had the worst headache all day, achey shoulders and neck, crampy bump, and feel generally LIKE CRAP -- sorry, moan over!

Thanks for discount code Mel!

I was reminded today how rubbish our midwives are - the one I saw today I had to virtually drag information out of her! The only thing she was interested in was whether or not I'd been sick! I remember this when I was pregnant with DS - never saw the same midwife twice and was just so glad I read books/internet so I knew about things they never told me!

Anyway I eventually managed to persuade her to listen for the baby's heartbeat, even though she was adamant that they don't do that this early and I wouldn't be able to hear anything. As it turned out we heard a clear heartbeat and even little bubbling sounds as the baby moved about!

ColumbosWife - what a horrible decision. I had my bloods taken today to test for Downs, etc and have been thinking since what I would do if they came back saying high risk. I think I'd be inclined to do what you say - go for the early scan and see if that gives you a bit more information.

i had a rubbish midwife as well saying that they dont do heartbeat at 16 weeks, i said that i had it with both my other children and said i would like her to do it. she said we will not be able to hear anything but we had two clear heartbeats. she didnt want to do any of the tests like bloodpressure as she was running late and said the appointment was for the bloods and since i had twins they couldnt do the bloods for the tripple test. i had to ask her to check my BP etc. she claims as she is busy and i am going to the hospital for extra scans they can do the tests and she doesnt need to see me again. my consultant at the hospital said i had to still go to the midwife for my regular checkups/tests as they are only looking for problems with growth of baby etc. i now have to arrange my own blood tests inc the diabetes one.
its all a bit of a rubbish service to be honest and has certainly gone downhill from when i had my last baby. i will ask the consultant what he thinks when i see him next.
i rarely see the same midwife twice so i could just book in anyway and hope they dont notice.

oh, and i am not sure how long the blooming marvellous code works for as the little box with it in on the home page has now gone but the code did work earlier.

Morning! Fab day here again.

Sorry to hear how rubbish these midwives are - just shows you need to be pushy to get anything - what happens to those who aren't? Luckily mine is good, just really (really) busy. Also bizarre they didn't want to do baby's heartbeat at those times, which seems quite late. Mine did it at 13w and we heard it just fine.

Columboswife good luck with everything, it's such a hard decision but hope you get some good support.

BM code no longer works

H&M, gap and top shop for maternity

CW really sorry you have to make that decision.

MM can't believe your hospital!

I broke down in tears at the Drs on mon as I can't bear seeing the midwives either. Had such an awful time last time, just seeing them is almost enough to make me cry! As a result the Dr is agreeing to take me out of the shared care system (alternate Dr and MW appts) and be the only one to see me to give some continuity. Its really worth changing hospital/care team to something you feel comfortable with. A good, safe pregnancy and birth is about you being relaxed and able to be at one/go into yourself. You can't do that if your environment or team around you stresses you out or makes you nervous. Really worth thinking about

Thanks for all the advice and help.
Having slept on it, I am feeling a bit calmer and still think I will have the ultrasound first at 18 weeks, because if that comes back reassuring ( even if it isn't very accurate) that would raise my odds quite a lot. And if it
shows up any worrying signs, I can still decide to have the amnio.

Sorry to everyone who is having trouble with midwives. Sometimes you do feel as if you are in a factory line and as if every query you have is just a nuisance to them. Hope you fare better with the dr, fourlittlefeet.

Morning all,

I feel very and for those of you who haven't been recieving good antinatal care. It makes me feel very lucky because i have had really good care, both with this pregnancy and the last one.

Why do you recieve 40% off if you use that code?

Morning (just) all - raining cats and dogs here this moring

ColumbosWife - glad you are feeling calmer about it this morning...

Had scan and met my actual consultant...very nice man who took the time to explain everything to me etc etc...

Deffo having identical twins with 1 placenta, so now going to have scans every 2 weeks until d day to check growth...

Also have to attempt to get hold of my midwife to tell her the situation cos there's no hope of different branches of the same NHS trust talking to each other is there?

Pants...

oh poor, its a shame it took them so long to decide and i bet you are glad you queried what the NHS said at the start. it fantastic you are having identical twins but rather scary. did they manage to see what sex they are?.
i am going to ask them to check that my placentas are totally seperate at my 20 week scan, i know i have two sacs as they are clear on the scan.
its good that they are keeping a good eye on yours every two weeks, my scans are every 4 weeks after week 20 but i am lower risk. are you still seeing the midwife as well? mine says she is too busy and the hospital can do the checks.

i am sorry the blooming marvellous code doesnt work today. i dont remember it saying when it would end. the code was on the home page and it vanished last night but was working untill this morning.

its funny cos I'm getting mnet not a valid code either?!

Scary yes - but at least there will be no bedroom problems in a few years - and it sounds daft but I was quite worried about it!

I've been told to keep seeing my midwife as the care I'm getting from the consultant is bolt on care, rather than normal care - they won't do BP etc etc. Problem I have is that I can never get hold of the woman, but will keep trying!

I would question what your midwife said cos that is the opposite to what I've been told this morning - typical isn't it!

No idea on sex - bit annoying cos other people around the same as us are having private gender scans and getting it confirmed but according to the NHS its too early to see? Honestly they must think we're thick or something!

MEL2005 - when is your 20 week scan? Mine's on 29th August...

A lovely lady at the maternity unit has spoken to the ultrasound department on my behalf and they are reviewing my options. I should hear back from them at some point today.

What's more upseting is the reaction of people at work or at the hospital. The woman at the hospital said that the only reason to have it pre 24 weeks is i could terminate if there was a problem (this i know)and I really need to have a think about how i would cope if there was a problem. Trouble is that if I have it at 20 wks we then have time to cross that bridge if we come to it. If I have it at 25wks the options are taken out of my hands. One woman at work couldn't work out why i was being so 'pushy' about it and asked if I was that desparate to know the sex. I explained that they were looking for problems and she went off on a 'in my day' rant.

Thing is that I don't know what I'd do if there was a problem but the important thing is choice. I'm going to give it till the end of the day and then speak to my GP.

Just back from my first midwifery appointment with an aching arm because she was rubbish at taking blood.

• The dating scan is the only scan I can have on the NHS

• She strongly encouraged me to have a private anomaly scan done, at the cost of £150, though I had made it clear that we have no money and can't afford that

• There are no hospital tours allowed so the first time I see the maternity hospital will be when I am giving birth!

• So, I asked about homebirth, it can be arranged but absolutely no pain relief would be available except for gas and air and they find that almost all first time mothers who request one transfer to hospital anyway

• I asked if these were emergency transfers or the need for pain relief and was told that it was sometimes for pain relief but often in an emergency "and the last time we were waiting a very long time for an ambulance"

• all in all I am feeling much less happy about the whole process than I was this morning

Mrs Magpie, I remember reading somewhere that if there is a serious problem with your baby then the 24wk thing doesn't apply. It depends what you would feel if you found there was a potentially less severe issue. Tricky position. Hope you get it sorted.

Mrs Magpie, I hope you get your scan. It is very unlikely there will be any issue with your baby, so try not to worry too much about the decision you might possibly be faced with. But do fight for you scan at 20 weeks.

Agree strongly with Columboswife that "Sometimes you do feel as if you are in a factory line and as if every query you have is just a nuisance to them".

Thanks for the tip about the movements Booksgalore. I went on, and on about the hospital tour because I am genuinely horrified at the idea of giving birth in entirely unfamiliar surroundings. Apparantly the can issue a video so the surroundings will be familiar

When I wouldn't give up she said an exception could be made if I had a phobia of hospitals. I have no doubt that given the uncertainty I will be developing one as my due date approaches!