Due in Jan 2009 - Grumps, bumps and heffalumps (the 3rd thread)

[LenniEd]

He he Loved that idea FLF!

His birth wasn't traumatic, really. It was one of the better ones I've heard though not as good as the second timer in her early 40s on my NCT postnatal course who probably had the best birth experience of the 7 of us. Things started going wrong soon after the birth, on the postnatal ward.

Upwind I can really recommend Ina May's Spiritual midwifery - I read it last time and it did for me exactly what you are looking for - gave me confidence in my body and a new, much less threatening way to look at labour. I loved the pictures - all the men look like my idea of Jesus, long hair and beards...
It also inspired me to have a doula last time. which made a HUGE difference I think, she just helped me to feel in control and fairly relaxed. We had money problems and because she was a trainee, she helped us for free - we just paid her expenses (and then gave her a pressie afterwards to say thank you!)So I'd back your doula idea!!

elkiedee just wanted to say that your post-birth experience sounds hard and sad. tho it wasn't as traumatic as yours sounds, I really struggled in the first few weeks after ds was born, and felt I was a terrible failure of a mother because of feeding problems. I am nervous of breastfeeding because of that, but hope I can remember to ask for help and plenty of it, if the same things start to happen this time.
How are you feeling about seeing the consultant?

Elkie, you can make a complaint. I have a friend who had a truly awful time, including being left on the post natal ward with an empty cot for two days. She made a complaint and the ward manager came to her house and listened to everything. She is still angry but said it was very cathartic. I'm thinking about doing them same.

I'm wondering whether those of us second timers doing birth rants etc should start another thread as its not really fair to scare/upset those who haven't been through it yet. That way if you are interested you can join in, but frankly first time round I didn't give a toss til then end and certainly didn't want to hear other peoples scare stories!

I am worried about the birth too. Not because of the usual reasons to worry but because after dd was born i damaged my tail bone and so getting up and sitting down was absolute agony.

It took me months to get anyone to lisen and understand how much pain i was in. At first the doctor gave me cream because i had gotten piles through giving birth and i thought that's what the pain was.

Then when the piles went and i was still in agony when i sat down, the doctor refered me to physio. The lady gave me excercises to do and that helped but it wasn't until around a year after the birth that i was comfortable sitting down again.

The pain has come back now, i am having physio this afternoon. Luckily there was a cancelation so i got in. I will tell the lady my concerns about the next birth and this pain.

I don't want you to all disapear to another thread cause i sort of feel i should know all these things so i am better prepared..... but your right you are petrifying me!

I am sort of in denial of the whole 3rd trimester at the moment. Quite enjoying this trimester, but am subconcisouly trying to kid myself i will wake up with a baby in a cot in jan at some point!

For those of us a lot less experienced though..... what is an instrumental delivery and what is a doula? Sorry for being a bit thick, but I am so confused by it all

Disclaimer: I have no direct experience. An instrumental birth is one involving forceps or a ventouse (suction cup). A doula is a woman, who can be hired to help prepare you for the birth and be there to support you during the birth and afterwards.

I was really surprised at the "no hospital tours" rule and wouldn't give up pressing the midwife about the "lots of good reasons" for it. Finally she said that as well as the time it takes staff to show the expectant parents around, you might pass someone in pain in a corridor and be frightened by that. I replyed that I knew it would be painful and that it might not go the way I plan!

Closer to my due date I will mostly be sticking my fingers in my ears and practising hypnobirthing techniques

Cool thank you, hopefully i won't need either of them, or though the doula does sound nice.

We have hospital tours at our hospital. Apparently the midwife team do them every saturday at 9am and you can just turn up for a tour at a point that suits you throughout your pregnancy. Obviously, still being in denial of the whole 3rd trimester we haven't been on one yet but i guess we will do once we have the 20 weeks scans over.

Hooray

GP and my midwife have got it all sorted and i have a scan booked for the week before. Why wasn't that an option before????

I can now relax a little and get off my soap box.

Of course the sad thing is that i had to make myself a royal pain in the bum before i could get anything done!

cool, congratulations MrsMagpie you must be very releived

Congrats Mrs M, its just a shame it took all this effort.
Don't worry too much about scare stories, it makes me better informed but fails to penetrate my naive first-timers won't -happen-to-me bubble... la la la...Except 4th degree tearing stories, now they do worry me ...la la la

Actually having said that I have really bad pain in my left arm which has come out of nowhere. Its worst in my forearm and goes all the way up so it doesn't sound like carpal tunnel, and don't think its rsi as i'm right handed and my other arm is fine. I'm also sure it isn't a heart attack
! Hopeing it goes away tonight otherwise i'll have to try and get a drs appointment tomorrow.

Please ladies lets not venture to the tear and stitching horror stories - as a first timer I really do not want to go there!!!!

Getting back pain... Normal? or is it just me??

By back pain i mean that if i bend or straghten too quickly i get a red hot pain in my left buttock. I've never had it before so I'm wondering if it's another side effect?

Getting back pain... Normal? or is it just me??

By back pain i mean that if i bend or straghten too quickly i get a red hot pain in my left buttock. I've never had it before so I'm wondering if it's another side effect?

sorry to hear about everybody's care related difficulties. me too, annoyingly. the system in ireland is a bit different but having gone to the hospital yesterday for my booking visit and having been treated to several hours of chaotic queuing and an offhand consultant who took my blood pressure, vaguely prodded my belly, told me i could travel where i wanted and to eat a balanced diet and then moved on to the next sucker who was interrupting his golf time, i'm thinking of going to the midwives' clinic... to be fair, i'm sure he's quite good in a medical emergency, but right now i'm just looking for normal antenatal care from somebody who realises there's an actual person in the room with them. unfortunately, as a first-timer i didn't really know what my options were and nobody seems really keen to explain, so now i think i'm going to have to hassle them to change me over. bah.

rant over.

mrsmagpie, i've had a cramp in my right buttock for about three weeks now, i assume it's got something to do with pressure on a nerve or maybe loosening ligaments (or whatever it is that going on with my pelvis...)

Evening all,

Saw the physiotherepist today. She has given me some excercises to do and a belt to wear. I have also purchased a 'coccyx cushion' to help ease the pain. She said i damaged my coccyx when giving birth to dd and so now i'm pregnant it's rebelling.

Mssparkle - ouch! hope the exercises help.

Evening all.... so much to catch up on!
Upwind- whereabouts are you? I don't like my m/w either! She basically snorted at me when I mentioned the words home birth! (I had an emcs last time ) Was so fed up of her by that point, I just 'enquired' for effect

Luckily I had a different one today, as mine was on holiday...
bp fine, and heard baby's heartbeat, very strongly.

ms.sparkle is it one of those big ol' strong man belts. i'm trying to crack a joke and its not working. sorry.

as for all the pain talks and such, i'm not to worried about it nor does it really bother me to hear from others. its a given that childbirth is painful but it is reassuring to know that it is scientifically proven that women have a far greater threshold for pain then men. we may whine a lot throughout the pregnancy but are rock stars when it comes to delivery.

the first is a movie trailer but the second is fabulous video of birth. you have to sign in to see the second because you have to be 18 and over.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=zG_6IVmXvr0
www.youtube.com/watch?v=Aht0HqI7GSw&feature=related

EPPM - I am in Edinburgh, so surprised that the stats are so grim!

chefswife - I'll check out those youtubes when I'm not meant to be working

Another thought - I think the thing that annoyed me most about the midwife meeting was a patronising attitude. e.g. when she asked if I was feeling sick and I confirmed this I got "aw, what a shame [smirk]" in the tone of "aw, diddums". When I asked about my self-diagnosed round ligament pain I hand the exact same response. I had to reply that I wasn't telling her about it just to whinge, I wanted her to confirm that was the problem and to advise whether the sharp but shortlived pains were likely to ease or get worse as pregnancy continued.

When talking about statistics she insisted that the stats for my local hospital just look bad "because so many more women use it" even though I pointed out that they were expressed as a percentage of all births. I felt I was treated like a child. Next time I will wear make up and dress more smartly and see if I get a different response.

Can really recommend the Sheila Kitzinger books for those who haven't made up their minds re hospital v home; it's just very 'mother centered' and quite earthy, liberal, pro-women without being too anti-doctors. Very reassuring tone and those lovely 70's photos -- I've asked my OH if he can grow a beard for the birth...

upwind, ridiculous that we should have to dress up and wear make up to be taken seriously! I look quite young for 34 if I don't dress up, and when I saw my midwife for my booking in appt I realised she was treating me like an irresponsible teenager (especially as I didn't know OH birthday!) so I snuck in a casual comment about my age. She looked surprised and looked down at my notes, said 'oh, I thought you were 10 years younger!' and then changed her attitude considerably!

Hello ldaies. I was wondering if I could join you here? My official due date is 4th Feb but for various reasons I know I won't go that far and would expect delivery around 38 weeks.

I've "ummed" and "aahed" about whether to go for Jan or Feb or both but decided that trying to keep up with 2 threads is far too much like hard work and Feb would be silly as I know the baby will already be here. So I've gone for Jan!

I know you've all "known" each other a while now but hope that I can squeeze in somewhere?