Due In Fab Feb 2009 - The Secret Is Out - Third Thread Already

[Singingintherain]

Hi thought I might start a new thread for us all. Hope you like the new title

Feel free to join us.

ooogs, I've said it many times before, you would have found something to blame if it wasn't that. You would not believe the things that get blamed by me for my two losses. Even TBD and Mum have their reasons!

Mum bought a WTP toy in the sale for my SIL's baby but didn't for me because it was my first and she didn't want to buy me sale stuff, I asked about how many were in the shop so I could get one but there had only been two left. She blames herself for not buying the WTP toy!

I've never figured out what TBD thinks he did wrong, "I should have looked after you better" is all he can say, I think there's more to it.

Yay! my bridal coat arrived :D its perfect and fits just right (i got her to put the button under the bust so as it would go over any potential bump) the only thing is now that the dress to go underneath is not quite as creamy ivory as the coat and im not sure i can get away with that ...

As for sex ... hmmm i think my libidos gone south for the time being and thats not DP's fault i just feel well, not overly blooming and a bit unattractive atm so im hoping it will all come right in the next trimester!

my sex drive goes up but i freak myself out so much about dislodging the baby we end up having less! although pregnancy is the only time dp asks me for sex so i do feel sexier for that alone... funnily enough, by the time i'm less worried about hurting the baby i'm so huge it gets decidedly unsexy and that's when dp starts freaking out about hurting the baby. [sigh]

thought my preg symptoms were easing a bit but am back at square one today with puking and exhaustion along with a throbbing headache

also realised the gp don't do a surgery on sat anymore so won't be able to see my gp til i'm 13 weeks

on the plus side i booked my scan for the 1st of august.... yippee!

kids are driving me bonkers again, roll on peppa pig!

wonder how littleboyblue got on with her house move? hope it wasn't too stressful for her.

Sex drive non-existent - feel too knackered and snotty to even think of sex. Sorry to hear the pregnancy symptoms have returned with a vengeance PinkTulips.

Hi - new to mumsnet. Baby due 20 Feb or something like that - the last one came when he wanted to which was a lot later!
Am feeling up to typing today as WOO-HOOO my morning sickness is over after a homeopath gave me a remedy yesterday! It's the first day I've felt normal - and I felt better within 10 minutes of the tablet. SUCH a relief as the sickness went on and on last time!!
Best wishes to everyone!

are you still suffering with that cold dinkystinky... yuk, last thing you need when preg. hope it clears up for you, do you have a vaporiser you can use for the congestion?

hi jolosh, congrats and welcome. what homeopathic remedy did you get? is the name on the bottle? sounds fab!

Finally got a appt through from the hosp for 1st obsterician appt - 31st July - letter said it would be about 2 hrs so I assumed things had chnaged since DS and they were doing the dating scan at the same time now.

But then a couple of days later, I got the appt through for the dating scan 5th August - I'll be 13 weeks by this stage whcih seems a bit late for a dating scan, but I'm also renewing my work first aid that week, so I phoend to change it hoping to be able to get somehting the same afternoon as the Ob appt, but no... so have to go in on 30th now for dating scan.

Is it any wonder the NHS have so many missed appts - my hubbie & I only have one car as I can walk to work, and the hosp is 15 miles from where we live, luckily just down the road from where hubbie works, but for 2 days I;m going to have to drop DS at nursery, then take hubbie to work, come back, not be able to get a space in the work car park and then go back to swindon for the hosp appts.....

sorry for ranting - it's just very frustrating - tempted not to go to the OB appt - just cancel it and not rebook - what can they want to discuss in 2 hours that the midwife hasn't covered already or I don't know from last time?

just be grateful you have the NHS and aren't over here in ireland.... the appointment i have on 1st of august i have to pay 100 euros for as i won't be booked in til 16 weeks and scanned til 20 weeks by health service

NHs mght not be ideal but trust me ladies, ye have it good.

So sorry we have lost so many from the group - hope everything goes well in the future.

I had my booking in appointment today, was amazed when the hospital rang me last week to tell me I could have a home visit as I had a toddler! So much better than hanging around trying to entertain him in a waiting room.

However I don't think the midwife and I hit it off. She looked at me aghast when I asked her to put 'none' for religion. She said 'so you don't believe in God?' - I didn't answer.

Then she asked me how much I drank, I said I had a glass of wine once a week. She asked me if I planned to continue this throughout my pregnancy and I said 'yes, you said that was fine 2 years ago!' She then went on to tell me that she knew another woman who had a couple of glasses of wine a week and her baby was born with disabilities! FFS! And I was far more likely to have a stroke if I carried on drinking and would I like some support to help me stop! I told her I would be just fine.

DS1 has decided over the past few weeks to refuse a lunch time nap which is making life very difficult indeed - last week I fell asleep on the toilet at work!

fruitstick, the two aren't necessarily connected! Like I just said to ooogs, you will look for anything to blame when something goes wrong and there isn't an obvious reason. Things happen.

I just had a call from a journalist who did an interview with me awhile ago about mircale babies, the Mirror are interested in running my story and she's looking for a magazine too.

OMG fruitstick! What a horrid fascist bullyboy MW

Nothing is worse than a MW who sets about scaremongering mums to be... and thats an outright lie about knowing a mum who drank two glasses of wine and then had a child born with disabilities - i can bet my a**e that is that child had disabilities as a result of alcohol ie FAS it would have been a whole lot more than a glass.

Im not drinking atm because i dont like the taste but im pretty sure it should come back and then i will enjoy some nice vino too!

As with everything in pregnancy moderation is the key and it really gets my goat when women are scared to within an inch of their life about a small glass of wine. I didnt know i was pregnant with DD1 till 10 weeks and i was only 20 and hitting the tequila slammers in quite a plentiful way - she is now nearly 16 and has taken 11 GCSE's ...

Anyway Fruit, the likelihood of you seeing the same MW all the time is not likely so hopefully you wont have to see the condescending old/young bat again

Ooh Fruitstick, you evil hard drinking atheist you. Tsch tsch.

Are we the most talkative ante-natal thread EVER? I can't believe how quickly we are racking up the pages...

Pinktulips - yes, still have stinker of a cold. Am getting v fed up of it as cant seem to shift it. Am trying Olbas oil to help with congestion but not even touching the sides!

Fruitstick - what a nasty midwife! Makes me feel v angry on your behalf though am pleased you werent intimidated by her in anyway.

Hi all.

DD wet the bed at 5.30am this morning so I am even more knackered than before.

DH is going out for many beers with his group of mates and so I am going round a friends to drink tea and watch Big Brother and watch her get pissed on wine. I may have to indulge in a glass. She is also cooking me nice food and my dd is having a sleepover with her dd so I can sit and eat food and then crawl home to bed when I'm too tired to eat anymore.

IT'S FRIDAY! WOOO!

Wow! Who does the MW think she is?! A teetotalling evangelist - or someone who's supposed to provide accurate and reassuring information to a busy Mum to be?!
You could always ask her why she believes in God!! Bet she couldn't answer anyway!

My first pregnancy I felt very 'at the whim' of the midwives, and it's only now after a home birth where I sat with midwives staring at me across the sitting room (feeling like something out of Bill Oddie's Autumnwatch) - and ending up in hospital anyway! - that I have resolved to turn the tables this time.... I consider myself to be interviewing the midwives. And when I find one I like, I shall stop with her!

By the way, I can't imagine the French or the Italians not drinking a glass or vino or two during pregnancy......

Hey, Jolosh, are you (like me) going down the independent midwife route?

I definitely interviewed 3 lots and chose my very very favourites, and of course they guarantee that they'll look after me from now till post-natal, and even if I had to transfer to hospital (fingers crossed that won't happen) they'd come along as doulas. I have to say that this has emormously eased my fears. Expensive, but worth it not to be a nervous wreck (and heck, what are savings for?)

I have a male midwife this time - he is lovely - but it is a very different experience. I have had 2 home births before and hope to have this one at home too. DS3 came in forty five minutes from the moment I woke up with the first contraction to the moment he was born. The midwife arrived just as he was appearing !! Apparently this one might come even faster. And before you ask - my fanjo is not like the blackwall tunnel !!

Personally I don't drink in pregnancy because I'm a bit 'all or nothing 'and can't see the point in having 'just one'. I worked in a drug and alcohol service for 5 years though, and saw many babies born to women who drank much much more than the recommended limit (and other drugs to boot) and most of the kids were born with no physical problems. Heroin, Coke and Valium were the hardest for the babies .

I love male midwives - the male midwife I had on the post-natal ward after having DS was the only one I actually liked (probably because he was the only one actually took time to make sure everything was alright with both of us); the other midwives were all old battle-axes (rather like Fruitstick's one by the sounds of it) who rather liked lecturing on how to deal with crying baby...

Onwards - how much is the independent midwife route costing (if you dont mind my asking)?

Jolosh when I was pregnant with Lily-Hope I had an Italian friend who kept trying to get me to drink more, because it's good for the baby! In Amsterdam I asked for a pint in a cafe while I looked at the menu, when I ordered the food they refused to serve me because the meat was rare, they made a sandwhich up for me (Europe don't understand "vegetarian").

I'm impressed at the male MW's. There are less than 50 (forgot the actualy figure) in the UK and most work as trainers.

£3,000 for a team of two, full care from booking-in through to postnatal.

Near us there's a woman who works solo, and she charges £1500 for the same, but I really wanted a team of two for the delivery - just wasn't sure if one midwife would have enough hands if something got complicated.

They are all NHS trained and have to keep their training updated through the NHS, but they all seem to be so relieved to be off the targets/quotas/free-up-those-beds/high intervention/speed-'em-up-for-failure-to-progress procedures of the NHS. They have really small case loads, and can devote a lot of time to really getting to know the women they work with, which of course improves outcomes enormously.

I should say: I had a really traumatic failed homebirth birth last time, with midwives sending me into hospital and shoving me on an (unnecessary) drip and managing the third stage against my express wishes, and then ending up retaining the placenta (prolly because of the managed third stage) so having to have a complete spinal block and whizzed into theatre to get it out... then having to stay in overnight, with the ward people trying to take the baby away "so you can get some sleep" and hearing the baby screaming in the corridor - just horrific, and I am prepared to pay £3,000 to be sure nothing like that will happen again.

And I don't even know how many midwives were involved in my labour - at least four, and then the registrar and the anaesthetist for the surgery bit, and then whoever the night duty ones were - but I DO know that none of them were the lovely community midwife I'd seen right through pregnancy...

To be honest Onward, £3k sounds like a bargain for the security of mind it gives you and your DP with this pregnancy. I had a bit of a horrific first birth experience with my DS too so was wondering about independent midwife or a doula for this birth (got to know a couple of doulas after giving birth to DS so veering slightly towards that at present) as had mixed experience with midwives in my DS's induction (wonderful community midwife I saw all way through pregnancy, wonderful midwife for first half of induction, witch from hell for second half and hellish delivery).

Yes - I think to have a doula advocating is a really good idea if one has isshoes from a previous birth, or even for peace of mind at a first birth, and IMs are a really good idea if you REALLY have isshoes from a previous birth...

Blimey I'm about your MW Fruitstick....what a cow....after I had DD we had a "nursery nurse" on the ward who told me off for using wipes on "baby" WTF!!! Needless to say, I took no notice of the stupid woman