Due June 08: less of the hens hatching, more of the cows milking?

[bitofadramaqueen]

Lets hope it's not too long before everyone is hatched and milking season is in full swing!

Amber, sounds like you did the right thing getting help - sleep deprivation is so hard to deal with and everything feels easier to handle when you can get some more sleep. Don't be so hard on yourself.

Essie, you have my every sympathy with your MIL - in fact sounds like yours and mine are spiritual twins! I would stake my house on the fact that mine will claim Alex's first smile - just waiting for that!

Essie, amber, I'm sorry you have been having a shitty time. For me, one of the hardest things last time was the feeling that I can 'do' my career, what's wrong with me that means that I can't 'do' what should come naturally - motherhood.

This time round, I got incredibly stressed when Dorothy couldn't latch on, but was able to remember from last time that this too must pass. And you know, if I couldn't get her to latch on, formula wouldn't kill her.

The MIL comment re smile made me laugh. Dorothy has this gorgeous windy smile (and we tell DS it's a real one). But DS did his first ever real laugh at my mother when he was about 8 weeks old. She was so chuffed and I was FURIOUS!

Debs, I'm so glad that you are feeling better. How did you solve the problem?

Re long phone calls, we haven't told anyone my iron levels are better, and use it as an excuse for short phone calls and visit lengths.

udcake - more rest, hot flannels, hot water bottle before feed and cold cabbage leaves in bra after, also many varied feeding positions to drain milk.

amber you're not a crap mum... sounds like you've done exactly the right thing with going to your mil and getting the night nanny in (thought has crossed my mind)... and haven't felt suicidal but do feel like i can't cope and have a good cry with edie on night feeds when she is workign up into a fret... can totally relate to the job thing and whole thought that I can't cope now so how can I cope later..but know that sleep when I can get it helps plus being on here makes me realise that I'm not alone.

Rant time - had well meaning friend make me feel guilty -am mixed feeding edie on advice of midwife and seems to be working ok -she is happy and growing well and milk supply seems to be fine... yet have friend suggesting that not only am I using wrong type of formula but will bugger my milk supply. Now the logical part of me knows that midwife is v.experienced and her advice seems to be working pretty well for edie but the guilty part of me thinking am I doing right thing although is only hearsay from my mate.

Is there any particular advice re formula -apart from the special kinds without lactose etc etc?

Dylansmum, please explain the lying down positioning.

Amber, sending you a hug (and to everyone else who needs one) - so sorry you're having a rough time, the night nanny sounds the way to go, hope it works out for you.

Rolf, think it was you that asked if I really did call the doc Doctor Evil - ermmm, called the stupid bitch a lot worse than that...

Laura, at your DH and Charlotte not fraternising with the boys! Of course I think that she just won't be able to resist my little charmer! We'll sort something out soon to hook up.

Everything going remarkably well in the Whinegums household, although I am sure I'm speaking too soon. Barnaby has put on 3oz since Wednesday and seems quite chilled. Wakes pretty much every 3 hours for a feed, and during the night goes straight back to sleep. (Have ended up accidentally co-sleeping too). He has a touch of jaundice, but that's clearing through - doesn't help there is NO sunshine here!

I have sore nips - problems with latch - even when I can get the little monster on properly he seems to pull away a tiny bit so my nipple is still hitting his hard palate rather than the soft bit. Have tried rugby hold and cradle hold - sometimes it's ok, but most of the time it's not right. Grateful for any tips; I'm aiming at the roof of his mouth, got him 'tummy to mummy' and he opens nice and wide, so if there's anything else, PLEASE tell me. Might post on the bf boards as well.

poppy34, I'm exclusively ff Alex and use Aptamil which is supposed to be 'the best', but tbh I think they're all much of a muchness now and some babies prefer one to another (in terms of whether they get wind, etc on one that they don't get on another).

We're happy with our choice and Alex is doing really well on it so not planning to change.

I would stick with what you're doing and ignore your friend - if you took on board all the advice that people gave you then you would have a v confused baby and mum! Stick with what is working for you and Edie.

If you want any more info on ff then the bf and ff thread is useful - I read alot on there (although too scared to post in case I get slated for even daring to ff my little boy ).

whinegums - to lie down bf in crook of arm - (if this is still unclear maybe i'll get dh to take a photo?)

i put her head in the bend of the elbow whilst laying on my side, maybe very slightly forward. i use the other hand to hold my boob (i tend to squeeze top and bottom a bit to make it easier for her to get the right part in her mouth). when her mouth is wide open i use my arm (that her head's laying on) to shove her on so to speak. then i (using opposite hand again) sort of adjust where her head is on my arm to be comfortable, usually up onto the bicep a bit. then i go back to sleep!! and because her head is elevated i've found she doesn't throw up from drinking lying flat.

i make sure her body is right along mine, usually her legs are right against my lower tummy and she comes up in a bit of a V to where her mouth is on my boob. if her head is too close to me then she suffocates.

it's just like cuddling an older child or even your partner in the crook of your arm but just attaching on the boob!!

if that's still unclear let me know and i'll get dh to do a couple pics and send them to whoever's interested. might be a bit hard to see on here if the pics are too small.

afternoon all, having a lazy couple of days here, feeding, sleeping and playing. Although have committed the cardinal sin of falling asleep on the sofa while feeding. Although we have leather recliners so not to much of an issue for Isaac to slip down between cushions as there aren't any (does that make sense?)
Have also been trying to pack as we are off to visit all of my relatives next week, they all live very close. I have no idea, however, how much stuff a 3 week old baby will need.

Luckily my mum has a travel cot, pushchair/travel system, sterilliser and some other bits and pieces. Is it better to take to much or not enough and utilise her washing machine?

whinegums have you thought about getting a bf cushion? I had problems with Isaac latching onto my left boob but ordered a WIDGEY cushion from the NCT on wednesday which came yesterday, and the pain in my nipple has gone overnight and he seems much more contented. I can also see that this will be a bonus once he gets bigger and it is more difficult to support his weight (I have weak wrists due to repeated fractures)

Hi all, Amber, just to reiterate what others have said, you are doing a grand job, don't be too hard on yourself. We are all in that boat with you and I for one am having very similar problems - which just goes to show it makes no difference if it is your first or third - newborns are exhausting.

TGF - thanks for the advice re dairy. I figured out a few days ago that Jamie is more sick if I have lots of dairy so I am restricting myself and it does seem to be working. He is still occasionally sick, but not quite so often!

thanks sponge..know what you mean about posting on there.. too scary for words (got some funny looks from one of the nct mums when was open about mixed feeding..mind you her baby not arrived yet so I'll be interested to see if some of her very firm ideas on child rearing survive when baby actually arrives )

poppy34, tbh (and I'm embarrassed to admit this ) I was v judgmental of a friend of mine who only bf her now 2 yr old boy for 10 days cos I felt that she 'hadn't tried hard enough' - this was before my LO arrived. I feel terrible about it now cos I survived for only 9 days and it nearly bloody killed me.

Looking back I can laugh about how naive I was about both childbirth and bf - will be interesting to see how your NCT friend gets on!

am with you there sponge -how naive was I... still struggling on to b/f but must say this abscess/mastitis plus marathon feed sessions of hour and a half at times is putting me off...

to be honest credit to the older generation as midwife and people like my mother must less militant re b/f than some of the fellow mums.

will report back on the mum to be (I am particularly keen to see how her eco warrior stance on laundry survives..notice that this doesn't prevent her driving her car to meet ups...)

poppy, lol at your eco friend who drives everywhere!

My mum was a midwife who ff all four of us! I don't think bf was such an issue in the 70s as dh is same age as me and he was also ff as was his sister. Think the 'trend' for it comes and goes.

I was out with my NCT girls yesterday and two of them were bf while me and one other were ff. I did look wistfully at them and wish that Alex and I had succeeded in doing bf, and I do still feel sad about it (not helped by the fact that my boobs still leak milk every time I feed him despite the fact that I gave up bf two weeks ago!), but I can't keep on beating myself up about it.

Do what's right for you poppy.

Posted on Post natal too but thanks to all of you for the virtual hugs etc - makes me feel a whole lot better! Are we using the post natal thread yet - is a bit spartan compared to this one.

Can anyone say at what age babies smile, Luke smiled the most amazing awe inspiring, heart meltingly gorgeous smile yesterday which made me want to cry but then immediately did an enormous shit and to say I was disappointed is an understatement . Also I was with my work colleagues who I hadn't seen in ages and the fart that went along with it could be heard in the hebrides . I want a little smile for mummy that doen't include a huge trump - when when when!!!!?

at the huge poo and fart Amber. Talk about killing the moment!

Amber, bless the little man - our boys share the same birthday and Alex also does some amazing 'windy' smiles which are just soooo gorgeous!

I've been told 6 wks is when they start to show signs of smiling - so we have 2 weeks to go!

Amber - six weeks according to the books/midwife friend.
BUT Iestyn is already smiling all the time according to my MIL, but only at her, never me or DH and no way is it just wind. Obviously.

Bitter and twisted? Me?

Sponge x-posted. Thought you'd appreciate that last one though!

Essie, lol, of course he's only smiling for MIL - goes without saying!

Morning everyone

Amber, how are you feeling today?

Managed to feed Dorothy sitting up yesterday and have woken up with a frozen shoulder this morning, so I guess we're back to feeding lying down for the moment.

Not feeling too bad today - knackered though! Luke's hair has fallen out and he looks like Winston Churchill!

hi all

re smiling my community MW said the 'babies don't smile' thing is bollocks! And I have to agree. I think if their eyes are open and they light up you should take that as a definite, but Storm smiled often when I stroked her head when she was just a few days old and that counts as far as I'm concerned! Popping over to postnatal now...

essie I have not managed to give Isaac a bottle, but DH has. He will quite happily feed from him but if I try he just screams and pushes it out of his mouth. Think he can smell the boobs?

TGF nice to know when the growth spurts are supposed to happen as he does appear to be feeding more this week than he has been.

Although he will sleep for 4 hours in the afternoon and when he initially goes down at between 10 - 11pm I can get a few hours sleep as I know he won't wake til between 2 and 3 am

re hiccups Isaac doesn't seem bothered by them at the moment. It is the look of surprise on his face when he does one that makes me and DH laugh. Occassionally he will hiccup, fart and then burp. He definitely takes after his father there.

Off to the West Country tomorrow to visit all the relatives, so you may not hear from me for a while, unless I can persuade DH to take his laptop

Hi all, not posted in a while, tried a quick catch-up but it is impossible!

My little baby girl has a hernia and needs an operation. I saw a lump just above her fanny (or woo or minwah as my sisters call it) last night when I was changing her nappy after the 10pm feed. We rang NHS direct and they made us an appt with on-call GP at local hosp at 11.30pm - we were home by midnight. Brilliant service.

Anyway doc said it was a hernia and rang the hospital who said she would be operated on in 2-4 weeks. I was really quite worried at thought of her having general anaesthetic but realise lots of babies have ops and are fine and she will be too. The thought of something being badly wrong and (god forbid) losing her (although I knew it wasn't that serious but all sorts goes through your head) was unbearable. Motherhood is tough!

And even when she is 18, 28 or 38, if she needs an op I am sure I will feed exactly the same as i do now!

She has been unsettled for a week or so and has taken to wanting to be fed to sleep so I have been co-sleeping with her from 11pm to 2am (after that she doesn't mind going in her cot). That is fine cos I do get some sleep (though not as good as when she goes in her cot and I go in the other room!) but when Theo decides he wants to be cuddled/fed to sleep too it is pretty tough! Mostly he is good and goes in his cot but last night I had Esther in the crook of my arm and Theo on my chest - and there's no way you can sleep then!

I have posted new pics of them on my profile - please have a look, I know I am biased but aren't they the most gorgeous babies ever (apart from yours of course!). I love them so much, I feel so blessed.

neenz they are!!! Theo has loads of hair - very jealous as Luke's has all fallen out. Gorgeous!