Due July 2008 - the thread where we all (hopefully) have our babies!!

[sweetkitty]

Here we go ladies

New thread I've tidied up, theres raspberry leaf tea on the go, all our bags are packed, come on babies..............

here is a question for you experienced mums who have bf
i am going to bf my baby this time i couldnt before they were to sick
but i am in a house of me and and will be 7 males 5 are kids
they have seen my body have no idea how a baby is fed
i appreciate as they are so young 8 7 4 they will find it natural but hows the best way to prepare them how mummy is going to feed the new baby
they have asked me what hes gonna eat and i said he will just drink milk
i guess i want them to have a mature or me rather be well this is how a baby feeds or or it needs when its so small
plus i have every sarurday booked up in august with visitors i have never fed in public before to me family is public its his family i dont have none
any suggestions on how to prepare DC
i know this LO is quite ill especially with his heart probs so bf may take some time to establish as heart babies are usually to tired to suck for long
(i was bullied by health profs before as they were sick to give them ff)
will a book be a good idea to read together so they can read and ask the questions
my 8 year old is at the giggly stage whenver the word willie comes on tv now

I've fed in front of everyone sorry but there is no way I am moving from feeding my baby, if they feel uncomfortable they can move. I'm quite militant about it also once you realise that you don't actually sit there with your boobs out whilst feeding and you can do it so discreetly chances are no one will notice. The only person who ever felt uncomfortable when I was feeding was my little brother who didn't want to see his sisters boobs but TBH I have actually been feeding a baby in the same room as him without him realising. I don't think anyone in my family has ever seen anyone BF before so thought you sat there everything hanging out. Unless you are right over the top of someone when the baby is latching/inlatching you don't see anything.

If you feel uncomfortable to start with use a shawl or muslin to cover yourself but you will soon feel like a pro.

When in labour with DD2 I remember running up the stairs inbetween contractions pulling all my clothes off and shouting at the MW to "quick examine me" never will you want to get to 10cms so quickly. When they say oh 9 cms just a bit to go then you can start pushing you think great I can push this baby out of me then the pain will stop. Oh it's all great fun.

I've had 2 babies both BF completely different, DD1 was a speed feeder, 10 mins one side was all she took and would latch off, she never cried for food and I had to remember to feed her, but she put weight on and was a great baby very easy, now she is a fussy eater and still doesn't eat much.

Then I got DD2 who we called Dyson, she was only happy on the boob or cuddled up next to it (in case she woke up and fancied a snack) she was 9lbs 3ozs born and 10lbs 6 days later never lost an oz. She would feed all night if I let her, she was still having 6 BFs in the night at nearly a year old (a while other thread) she's a lot sturdier than DD1 and loves her food now.

Wonder what I will get this time???

that should of read they have never seen my body or a female body

disney - why don't you get some leaflets (from the hospital or midwife) about bf - they will have lots of pictures in. Leave them lying around for a bit. Sit down and read them while your DC are about, and see if their natural curiosity will start up a conversation. You don't have to go into lots of detail; just that milk comes out of your boobs, and the baby has to suck to get it.

EEC- with you, the mothercare sleep bras are no good. I've never ordered from figleaves but since all my current bras are underwire and just plain don't fit anymore and I have to move on to something else.

Feeling a wee bit better today, but still knackered from no sleep. Pelvis is highly uncooperative and somehow managed to tear my lingual frenulum in my braces this weekend. So I've got oral surgery to clip it on friday at 11 and then 2pm for physio in hopes that they can teach me how to sleep and walk these last few weeks without excruciating pain. woo hoo!

As far as breastfeeding, I'm going to do it. We just finished our last NCT course last night. I'm uncomfortable breathing around my in laws, I'll just ask politely if there is somewhere I can take junior to feed. If I am home..will just go in the other room. I doubt very seriously that they will visit me in either the hospital or at home so no worries there. I don't plan on staying in hospital very long anyway. I can't wait until Christmas and I can go home and be myself again. God Lord, I sound like a miserable cow. Going to get up and sort myself out!

One to watch tonight--

ITV 9pm Superhuman: Britain's Biggest Babies

One-off documentary probing the rise in UK birthweights and issues faced by overweight mothers. The programme reveals difficulties that can arise from giving birth to a large baby and examines possible links between the size of newborns and Britain's growing obesity problem.

Hi all!

Feeling pants here as woke at 0530 for a wee and couldn't get back to sleep again! Hey ho, suppose it's good practice for when baby joins us.

TJiuce - your last post really struck a cord with me, I remember being totally 'uncontactable' during labour, due to the pain, and was very of my friend who described having a sleep and a snack, then being examined and being 9 cms dilated! She only had gas and air for the pushing bit, no other pain relief - i howled for an epidural!
My dd also had night and day the wrong way round, as do many babies. A midwife in hospital reccommended feeding her every 2 hours in the day, giving her loads of stimulation in the day, ensuring there was plenty going on, TV or radio on etc. Then at night time giving her minimal stimulation, no playing or smiling and cooing, just feeding and cuddles in a darkend quiet room. It worked for us and by the time dd was about 4 weeks she was going down to sleep at night really quickly - only for 3 hours at a time, but there you go! Every baby is different and you just have to try to find your way through it - crying at 3am when you feel like a tortured maniac is perfectly acceptable behaviour!!

disney - I agree with isaidno about finding some photos of breastfeeding and leaving them lying around, my dd is only 19 months, but we've already had a 'discussion' prompted by the photo of a breastfeeding baby on the cover of the free boots magazine. She loves photos of babies and said 'ooh baby', so i told her the baby was having milk from mummies boobies, at which point she pulled my top up so she could have a look at my boobs (we've been naming body parts and boobs and bottom seem to be her favourite!) I told her that tiny babies have milk from mummies boobies, she then went and fetched me her cup! I reassured her that her milk comes from the fridge, not my boobs!! I'm going to look for a book for dd all about new babies, if I find anything good, I'll let you know.
My 7 year old goddaughter if fascinated by breastfeeding and has a million questions about it - including 'why doesn't the milk just come out all the time' 'is there just one hole or lots - amazed by the fact that there are lots of holes!' and 'what does it taste like' I'm not going to be answering that one for her!!

Shortsafe- Bless your DD. She sounds very sweet.

Before i left work (in a nursery school) the kids would lift my jumper up to see my tummy and they would look disappointed that they couldnt actually see the baby. Thankfully they never asked about breastfeeding.

I didnt correct them when they told me that i would "sick the baby out".

disney - I don't know about older DC but mine already know the baby will get milk from Mummies boobies and they did when they were little, they are a bit obsessed though love looking at my huge nipples and asking when does the milk come out. DD1 has already decided that Mummy will feed the baby but she and Daddy will play with the baby chances are after a week every time the baby cries one of your DC will shout "Mummy boobies" or something DD1 also lifts her top and feeds her dolls from her tummy (don't know what that says about my boobs right enough)

mcchesers - glad you are feeling a bit better sounds like you are having a rough time of it, I went for a walk round Homebase this morning (by myself!!) anyway it was so painful I though FFS I am having a 5 minute walk around a shop also about your inlaws, you have heard me moan about my family before I am at the stage now of sod them there is no way they are going to make me feel uncomfortable in my own house. I don't even want them coming up for a good few weeks after the birth too.

pigley - don't know if I want to watch that programme - ouch!

shortshafe - I am the same uncontactable during labour, I think your body shuts down to help you deal with the pain. I find I need to rely on DP more to be my voice in the room IYSWIM. I am worried that I go into labour during the day and the DDs see me like that too.

I am a complete maniac during labour. Goddness knows what I do or say, and I really don't care. But I would HATE the DC's to see me like that, or indeed hear me from another room, which is one of the reasons a hospital birth is the one for me.

Disney, I think a book is a good idea as it can start a discussion. Also, do they know where fridge milk comes from? We feed our babies exactly like all other mammals, including cows, so it probably won't be a shock for them. Your 8 year old may well know already without you having specifically talked abot it.

Just back from midwife and baby is now head down. HOORAY. Took bloods as she thinks I am anaemic. I certainly feel as though I might be at the moment. She told me to rest, so not feeling guilty about messy house and lots of mn!

Mcchesers - hope your dentist and physio help you get a bit more comfortable.

sweetkitty "IMHO this oh don't pick them up all the time thing you will spoil them and they will get used to it is rubbish"

Totally agree there is actually research proving you are correct babies who are held when they cry in the early days weeks and months are more likely to develop into confident secure children. Developmentally in the first few months they cannot distinguish between you and them you are all the same by about 6 months when they first go through that crying when you leave the room stage (which is natural and normal and a sign they have formed a secure and beneficial attachment to you) are they starting to understand you are different people.

Hi again everyone

Disney, I am like you, I hate internal exams, one in my first labour was enough, didn't have any in my second labour and it was fine, the midwives were experienced enough to know how well the labour was progressing without poking around to check how dilated I was. So did your daughter have to have the internal in the end to get her epidural or did she give birth without the epidural?

Regarding breastfeeding, I generally feed in front of anyone. Initially I was embarrassed to do it in front of FIL/BIL but now I just think they can leave the room if they are bothered.

However, there are times when it helps to be on my own and have a bit of peace and quiet. From what I recall, at the start, when you are trying to get breastfeeding established, the baby shakes their head around loads instead of latching on straight away. Then it doesn't help to have lots of onlookers. (They all of course have their own agendas, some well-meaning and some not so much.) Also when the baby gets older and easily distracted they can often pop their head off to have a look around and it's just easier to do it in private.

Incidentally, later on this year the Single Equality Bill will be proposed which includes measures to protect breastfeeding mums so they can't be asked to move from a restaurant or public place - but I think the penalty is not as clear as the Scottish law, and I bet it will be a while before anyone actually takes a case to court.

Also fwiw, my sons think willys and bums are hilarious but aren't terribly interested in boobs so you might not have so much to worry about.

There's a book called 'We like to nurse' with loads of mammals feeding their babies and a human mum and baby at the end. Quite contrived but quite nice too, ds2 used to enjoy it but it's really aimed at toddler age I think.

That reminds me, I was going to get some books for ds2 as I think he's going to have a bit of a shock by how much time and attention the new baby takes up. I will also post some titles if I find anything good.

I'm not a BF what so ever, When i had DD1 i remember a lady in the hospital that was just after having her DD and she was sobbing her heart out as BF was'nt going well. She was sore, tired and just so unhappy. That was it for me i said to DP no way am i going through that. Suppose i though that was going to happen me aswell, as it was my first child.. I now know that this is not the case with all BF mums. For all the mums here giving great advice hats of to ye, cause the new mums here are getting some great advice..

Hi all,

Just been reading your posts and it's bought back some memories from when DS was born...

Firstly, when he was about 1 day old, I asked the midwife if it was OK if i picked him up and gave him a cuddle!!! I just felt as though I only held him when he needed feeding! every other time DH or PIL or my parents were there holding him, and I thought they might think bad of me for 'molly coddling' him, Make the most of it, as it is not long before your having to force a cuddle from them!

Secondly, I went all 'primitive' when in Labour.. I just zoned out completely, just focused on the task in hand, it was really bizarre, but nice IYKWIM.. (I even pooed, and didn't care, and that was my worse case scenario!)

Thirdly, I MOOED! I don't know where it came from, but this urge to make the 'deepest' sound I could took over and I sat in the birthing pool Mooing like Daisy the flipping Cow!!!!

LOL Jodie at you mooing.. I go the same way as you, no mooing though.. Just concentrate on each 15 mins and tell myself nearly there.. DP may aswell sit and read the paper as i just go it alone. Its weird to explain. But as soon as i start to push i need him why i do not know..

LOL at mooing Jodie, I do that too . Makes me giggle as well, which isn't really helpful at the time.

Following on from SK and Kaz, I had a lovely mw visiting me after dd2 was born who said to me that you cannot 'spoil' a tiny baby by cuddling it lots or giving it attention. She said if it makes you and the baby happy, then do it, and she included co-sleeping as well (was obsessed with trying to have dd1 sleeping in her carry-cot but dd2 spent most of her nights in bed with us, even if she started out in the carrycot!).

Re bfing, I said at our antenatal classes that I would be embarassed to bfeed in front of FIL (who is a lovely, lovely man) and dh was quite surprised!! I think he was also a bit offended when I said I wouldn't have a problem with my own dad - ffs, he's my dad and both my older sisters bfed in front of him so he'd got quite used to it by then. In the end, once we'd got established, I fed in front of anyone and everyone as I could not be arsed to move out of the room. In fact, was sat in a pub beer garden with dh and a (male) friend when dh started laughing and said he'd never imagined there would come a day when we'd both be quite relaxed about me getting my norks out in a pub (was a lovely sunny day in Cornwall and was eating chips and mayonnaise while feeding dd1 - mmmm, want chips and mayo now).

Poledra - mmm homemade chunky chips and mayo, I want some now!

Hi All,

ISAIDNO - ROTFL at what you said to PIGLEY

PIGLEY - cannot believe you are such a prude! Do you have sex with the lights off Seriously though, you really won't care if you are in a lot of pain (remember not everyone is) and TBH I never even felt the internals - mind you I don't find smears sore or anything either. Have you never had a PAP smear then?

I agree with the cuddle em all up when you can thing - although I have heard that it can be a bit sore on baby's body if they don't get enough time to lie on their own in a cot/pram - maybe you could enlighten us with that one KAZ?

I would say with BF try your best - it can be really tough - tougher than you can possibly imagine- but don't beat yourself up if you can't do it - not everyone can, and don't feel like a failure - most important thing is baby is getting enough food to be happy and healthy. And if you are stressed and in tears baby will pick up on this and be unsettled too.

I used muslins/shawl over my shoulde when out with DD to bf, but I remember bf her in the house and my Dad came downstairs and didn't even realise. I wouldn't ordinarily bf in fornt of him or my bro or any of my DH's family though - they get embarrassed and TBH it is nicer to feel confortable with just you and bubba.

I am a SCREAMER!!!!!! when in labour - at least I was last time In fact I was in so much pain (sorry if TMI) I was hallucinating that I was in the Da Vinci Code that was before the magic epidural

Had my last cranio-sacral treatemtn until bubba arrives today - I am sore all over now and keep getting jaggy pains. Finding it increasingly difficult to sleep - between needing to pee, then being thirsty then sore when rolling!! Arggg!!!! Then DD awoke at 5.30am. She is at nursery today so I am attempting to make Empire biccies 9 cannot get enough of them just now) I had 3 cakes yesterday 2 Empire biccies and a cream finger No wonder I am a fat pie - I nee to lose 4 stone once this bubba comes out.

I am getting really excited about meeting him/her now and seeing what they look like. My DD is so affectionate and loving I cannot imagine having a non-cuddly baby - would make me really

Has anyone thought about contraception for post baby? My therpaist was telling me about the honey diaphragm (cap) - must google it.

DD and I were belldancing in the kitchen the other day - I had to take my jingly belt off and put it on her and show her what to do - so cute and so funny. She has got nataural rythm

SWEETKITTY - have you been watching Big Bro? See the guy Mikey from Kilwinning? I am sure he must be a distant relative on my Dad's side. He has the same shape of face/chin and same hair/eyes and colouring as my dad's side - we must be related somewhere - even DH agreed. Bizarre!

Sorry for mammoth post (I'm not really you know - it's cathartic )

TWINKLE - hope you are okay.

Fascinating reading all your bf posts! Really want to do it, just hoping I can 'get the hang' of it! Am ridiculously bored again at work....but tomorrow is my last day!!!! Hoorah! Had to take holiday before maternity leave so get another couple of weeks on full pay!!

Poledra, funny you saying about chips with mayo...That's what I had for lunch! Was scrummy! Going to have a cheese and marmite twist in a bit...just to tide me over til tea time!

When I am in the last bit of labour I like to bite into DH's hand. I don't need to - I just feel it is only fair to pass on some discomfort.

I think I am generally fairly quiet though. Last time my friend was downstairs with DS1 and says she heard nothing until DS2 came out crying.

I'm a screamer too, I'm always amazed at these women who are all quiet in labour maybe give out a few grunts at the end. With DD1 I couldn't talk the next day as I was hoarse from screaming. I think it's a necessary primitive thing

isaidno - love the biting your DHs hand, sounds like a plan

RUMPEL no idea about babies getting sore if not given "enough time to lie on their own in a cot/pram" only that it might be said by someone who does not believe you should hold a baby all the time. There will always be babies who don't like to be held and there is a big difference between being quietly held (or Skin to skin with parents if you are having breastfeeding problems)in the arms of Mum Dad or another adult and being allowed to sleep and being past around like a pastel and getting fractious.

Look at other cultures babies are carried or held by often their Mum almost 24/7 including at night.

bebejones I will say what the midwife said to me yesterday (I am petrified I will fail breastfeeding yes I taught it for 12 years I know all the theory and have helped probably hundreds of Mums. But now I have to DO it myself and god I am scared because I am expected to just be able to do it and what if I can't?) give it a go go with the flow, if you have problems talk to your Midwife, and defiantly try skin to skin it can help and I have no idea why. If it works it work, if it does not and you go onto the bottle then what harm has been done you have done your best and what have you lost? Nothing.

Kaz/Rumpel - I have been thinking about that too and I don't believe babies need to be laid down flat either sorry. Think about plagiocephaly (sp?) flat head syndrome and how common it is now due to the flat on their back SIDs guidelines.

When I was a baby it was baby on it's side turned after every regulation 4 hour feed. Have also heard about babies being on their tummies to stop them choking on their sick. Bizarre everyone has their own ideas don't they?

Was also thinking about cultures where babies aren't supposed to touch the ground for many months don't know how many but are carried constantly. I read a book ages ago about babies around the world and how different cultures look after them, very interesting, loved the eskimos who bind them naked to Mum, then add furs and a board! Also about no nappies etc

Am so sore today feel like there is something in my erm how can I say this fanjo, you know the feeling when a tampon has slipped down and it's uncomfy? Thats what it feels like can't remember if it was like this last time I remember saying my fanjo felt at my knees. Will speak to MW tomorrow.

That reminds me MIL is coming up for a visit tomorrow will have to shove her out in the garden with the DDs for a bit when MW turns up don't want her sitting there talking over the MW.

Bloody hell think I have had a false labour today, pains on and off for a good few hours, if I didn't know any better I would have been phoning the MW, they have stopped now though, had this loads with DD2 so not phased.

So so sore today have had zero patience with the DDs just can't be bothered not with them well you know what I mean but the endless fighting which means I have to get up and deal with it, the endless Mummy I need, even nappy changes are like ouch I dread them.

Sorry bit down 4 weeks seems an eternity right now.

Blimey SK, Sounds scary!
Rest up this evening ( if possible!)

DH had half day today so we got rid of the old bedroom furniture ready for the new stuff being delivered tomorow. DH also decided we'd have a BBQ tonight before the bad weather sets in for the rest of the week. He has the rest of the week now (using up last years holiday) and Monday off as it will be our fist wedding anniversary.