Oh gosh, littlesquirt I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to give you the willies. Your (one's, not yours personally!) pg state of mind is so fragile, isn't it?
Through all this, I have found the waiting to be the most excruciating part. waiting for a positive test, waiting for scans, the vast stretching, warping time to 12w... You will get there though, and you have to try to stay positive.
I may have said this before, but my acupuncturist gave me an affirmation 'I am happy and grateful to be pregnant, my body is healthy and strong', to be said whenever a negative thought about the pg enters your head!
I must have said it a thousand times this pg, but it really helped keep my mind on an even keel. We think that by anticipating the worst, we're 'helping prepare ourselves', but I believe really strongly that you can't prepare, and it's a terrible waste of energy. It doesn't make the bad stuff any easier if it does happen, you're just less able to deal with it because you're already worn down from the stress of worrying....
Sorry to sound so bossy, but on my last pg I was convinced it was doomed and incredibly negative, and by the time I actually mc, they found 2 additional infections probably caused by the stressing... Hence all the +ve thinking this time!
thanks Elkie & upwind too.