due in jan 2009

[charmed24]

anyone here yet?

fymandbean, how funny, i was deliberating over that one today.

My closest friends I have cancelled because i am a rubbish liar and they would see through me and I don't want to lie to them anyway and I am a true wuss so am totally avoiding the whole scenario...... I will apologise for being rubbish for 6 weeks once they know, they won't mind then.

Friends that are less i am less close too i am going to lie too and make them feel guilty if they over quiz me - they shouldn'tbe so nosey anyway!

Good luck!

my rule of thumb is - would i want their support if the worst came to the worst? if yes then i tell them if not then i don't. Hence the whole of MN can know if it wants to but only my closest friends and family in real life

p.s. had to tell my boss because we were sorting out teaching for next year and i felt that not being able to lecture come january was something that he should know about

To look at the stats another way nuchal scans combined with blood tests are now able to identify 95% of abnormalities at the NICE approved clinics - so 1 in 20 mothers who are not classed as high-risk should have been. The triple test only identifies 65%, so 7 in 20 won't be identified. Whether or not you have it is an entirely personal decision - I really know what you mean though about considering your other children, although I personally couldn't have a termination so I'm not going to have the scan.

As for paying for an anomaly scan ( for you - that really isn't fair - write to your MP and complain!) - have you considered paying for a 3D/anomaly scan instead a few weeks later on - that way you could see your baby and get the whole bonding experience as well as having an anomaly scan?

On friends - I think it depends on your reasons for not telling. If you just want it to be a secret a bit longer then fair enough, but if its because you are concerned about miscarriage then I would seriously consider telling close friends since you would need them to know if anything happened for support. We aren't telling yet because a close family member had a stillborn child not so long ago, and we'd rather wait until we can tell them in person. I am definately going to lie to nosey not-so-close friends though

X-posted with witchandchips - who put it far more eloquently - that'll teach me for putting DD to bed half way through a post

hey ladies. hope everyone is doing well.

sorry to always be picking the brains of you "old hands". I have 2 questions hope that is ok!

first is im going to see an nhs doc on friday. am going to get a private scan with blood tests apparently on my health insurance, but do want to have the baby in an nhs hospital. is there anything i defn need to ask?

second is, am 8.5 weeks and v deffo look pregnant. am normally quite small but i have a proper bump. am sure this is not normal for a first baby? can anyone shed some light!!

thanks all....off to cook some sausages!

Whereabouts in the UK are you scared? And was it you who is a US citizen? (Sorry - can't remember anything enymore)

Reason I ask BTW is because if you are in London things will be a bit different with choice over hospitals than if you are elsewhere in the UK. Things are also different if you aren't a UK citizen.

i live in london right smack in the middle. st marys in paddington would be my "local". am not the american - believe that complicates things a lot! we have belgian passports which i think is no diff from uk as is in the eu

Right, well the first thing to do is get yourself onto the birth choice website - that will give you information on all of the hospitals in your area. I would also have a search on old threads on here as there is always quite a lot of discussion about the maternity units in London hospitals and you will be able to get a bit more information from there - some other people on this thread might also be able to help on that. Once you have shortlisted a couple you will need to take your list with you to your doctor and they will book you in with a hospital. In London it is often difficult to 'get in' to the hospital of your choice so it is best to get your preferred choice recorded early on.

Everything else like you say is the same if you are a permanent UK resident.

As for the bump - prob mainly bloating at this stage at a guess. Mine is from too many digestive biscuits and appallingly weak stomach muscles!

Scared, I'd find out what sort of facilities and services your local hospital has - are you interested in thinking about homebirth, a hospital waterbirth, a midwife led birth unit, if that's an option for example? Ask the doctor whether there are other NHS options he/she can book you into.

My most obvious local hospital (North Middlesex) actually sounds like it's not a bad place to give birth, but I'm probably going back to the second one (Whittington) - neither dp nor I drive and the Whittington is near the tube from work, and one direct bus journey from home, the North Mid is more complicated. Both did well on recent evaluations, and there wasn't a problem with being booked in there.

Ask about policies on scans and tests etc maybe? I wasn't sure about tests etc but the Whittington seemed to offer them all anyway so I had most of them fairly early on, fortunately the results were reassuring. I don't know if the nuchal fold and blood tests were offered to everyone or if it was age related (I turned 37 just before I got pregnant) and doubtless I'll get scared all over again.

taht is great advice elkiedee thank you lots for taking the time! ill let you know how it goes...

morning

hi fym it is up to you i guess if you really dont want them to know before 12 weeks then tell them that you have other plans.
i am having a nuchal fold we didnt have it last time as you had to pay so we didnt and this time round it is free so having it.

FYM I went out on friday with my friends and was abviously not drinking. They asked me why not (usually seen with a glass of wine in my hand) and just said that I was on a health kick. Saw a look pass between them (they have NEVER heard that before) so I know that they know. I would quite happily tell them but DH is quite superstitious so respecting his wishes. They are good enough friends that they will not say anything.

On the other hand I have drinks with some other friends next week and I know that they will ask. I am just going to lie. Simple as that. They will understand when I come clean in a few weeks.

On a different note- went to the gym yesterday for the first time since I found out (felt to dreadful so far, still did but forced myself). having not excercised for over 2 weeks it was really hard work and my fitness has dropped loads, but I felt better last pm than I have done the rest of the week, perhaps I need to get my running shoes back on. Is anyone else finding their usual excercise more difficult at the time?

I'm finding exercise harder too Buckles. I'm in a running club and decided now I'm pregnant to run with the slowest group, but I'm having trouble even keeping up with them! They don't know yet so have to keep making excuses each week about why I'm having an 'off' week! Might have to tell them soon as they keep trying to enter me into a half marathon, which will be when I'm about six or seven months pregnant!

I'm finding cycling ok though - think I'm going a bit slower though.

I have told a few people this time round (already have a DS) because I think if anything went wrong I'd want to tell them anyway. Definitely not telling anyone at work for ages though.

Thank god that even a 'proper' runner is finding it harder. I have always been a very bad runner and do it as it is the only excercise that i find keeps me fit. Usually half an hour on the treadmill is no bother, 10 mins last night and I thought I was going to die!
You could enter the half marathon and walk it- would be good to keep training for it.

I have not told anyone at work although if the nausea gets anyworse I may have to. Hoping to avoid it as my contract ends at the end of July, so will be unemployed and don't want my reference to reflect me using pregnancy as an excuse for the last 2 months. Not sure how i am going to get a new job now that I am pregnant though!

I remember a primary school teacher I had in the 80s who was probably past retirment age often kept nettles on her desk and if a child was extremely naughty she would sting them with the nettles

AArgh wrong thread!

If you want a laugh it was meant to be posted here:

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/43/541797?ts=1212572138045&msgid=11063309

Hi there - will de-lurk for a while

Re: exercise - I've been going to the gym as usual, though I'm taking it a bit easier - and it definitely helps keep up my energy levels which, frankly, need all the help they can get!

Last night I went to my martial arts class for the first time since finding out I was pg (took a few weeks to decide if I was going to continue with it), and that was much harder work than usual - I don't think I'd have found it so hard if I'd missed a few weeks and not been pg, IYSWIM.

I'm off to look at the thread about demon teachers now!

Hiya, what a beautiful day (well it is here anyway).

Hello Aniyan, good to see you, don't relurk for too long

Erm, I'm afraid I stopped proper exercise soon after my BFP... I did spin classes before, and just felt they were a bit too vigorous for my newly delicate state - any excuse! So brisk walking and the odd swim will have to do for now.

I've told 3 friends and my mum, just felt I needed the support. Not that 2 of the friends have been particularly helpful (not unhelpful either, just a bit vague), but there you go, you can't win em all!

We told close family at the weekend (I'm nearly 8 weeks but some of them had already noticed!).

Quite a few people know now & I don't really mind - would rather people already knew about pg if anything bad happened.

Ds has been a complete star at keeping the secret (he's 8 and we told him first) and it's nice for him to have other people who know. He wants to take me into school for show and tell when I've got a 'really big fat tummy' - we shall see!

Hello you lot, how is everyone?

Buckles, exercise? Are you MAD? I couldnt beat a snail in a race at the moment!

I have phoned the midwife as i could be 10 weeks and am a bit concerned i may miss the slot for the nuchal fold scan. She is phoning me back. Not sure i want to see how many are in there...

I am liking dark choc bountys at the moment, anyone else had a craving?

Aniyam i have twins that are 9, they are being so sweet about the whole thing. They were really good when i had the last baby too (he is just 1) Changing nappies, shushing him to sleep, the interaction from an older child is magical

largeginandtonic, I can't wait for the new dc to arrive because ds has wanted a sibling for so long

His best friend at school had a baby brother last year and now ds is far more broody than I am - hope the reality of a new baby isn't too much of a shock for him!

Since he's so much older, we told him very early on, and also touched on how, very occasionally, things don't go as planned and he's taken that on board but isn't worrying at all.

I struggled with early motherhood with ds (not ds fault - he was a lovely baby - but my head had a problem with accepting the whole 'mother-thing'), but now I've fully embraced the concept of motherhood & wouldn't change it for the world!

As for cravings - salt and vinegar crisps do it for me, but not sure if it's a craving or just me giving in to my greedy side! With ds it was grapefruit juice - gallons and gallons of the stuff!

Aniyan, what a sweetie your ds sounds like. I was nearly 8 when my baby brother was born and I used to take him for walks, hold him when my mum and stepdad went out and we had a babysitter (I always felt it was unfair that I was doing all the real work), and when he was about 3 or 4, take him to the Saturday matinee at the cinema.

My exercise is confined to chasing a 13 month old around the place, hoping we'll get to the park for a bit today after work and CM as I'm sure he missed it the last couple of days.