Due June 08 - As we start nesting will the creme eggs start hatching?

[bitofadramaqueen]

Another new thread! By the time this one runs out we might have some babies!!! Although, we do chat a lot so maybe not...

One thing I'll be putting in my birth plan probably sounds a bit odd, but it's actually something my community midwife has incorporated into her own practice. When I was having DS1, he didn't make any noise when his head was delivered, and I got it into my head that he was stillborn. They took him away from me (don't know why - maybe he needed suction?) and it wasn't until they handed him to me that I realised he was alive and well.

When DS2 was being delivered he started crying when his body was still inside me - rather surreal but very reassuring.

With DD it was a bit more like with DS1. My first memory of her (I was REALLY out of it on gas & air!) is seeing her on a resussitaire next to me, and me asking the paed if that was my baby and if it was alive.

When I talked to the community midwife about this afterwards, she said that when she is delivering a baby, when the head is delivered she always makes remarks like "oh, your baby is looking around the room" or "it's blinking away". ie, something innocuous that nontheless gives the mother the message that the baby is ok. I'm definitely going to incorporate into my birth plan a request for this kind of gentle reassurance.

Loving all the birth plan chat!

Have been snoozing mostly today whinegums so completely forgot to come back online and arrange to get in touch with you re: tomorrow. Have sent a CAT message now to both you and laurat with my mobile number in case one of you come online tonight. If not, no matter - have a good time. I'll be easy to spot at the baby show as I'll be waddling around on my own . Am planning to go first thing before it gets too hectic. I remember the wedding show being exhausting and getting loads of junk!

HAve only skimmed today's posts as there have been so many so hope I haven't missed any major news. Thanks again all for concern about my headache/hospital drama, feeling much better now although still a bit headachey.

We are so going to finish this thread before the first baby comes along.

Happy Birthday for tomorrow Upsidedown

Woo-hoo, I'm the first. Not a big suprise as it 4.15am and my neighbour has been screaming and shouting for the last hour. May go round and hand him a dictionary soon as he only seems to repeat two words and they're not the nicest ones to hear repeatedly screamed at any time.

Oh well, at least it means I can catch up on the many, many posts. What are we going to be like when we're on mat leave!? (Only 3 weeks to go...)

Happy birthday Upsidedown.

Katjo - Congrats to your friend, wierd to think that will be us soon. I've only just got my head around the fact that I'm pregnant, not sure the having a baby part has truly sunk in yet.

Needahand - Great news about ths scan. [Angry] at your cover. I have some serious reservations about mine, but as she's an internal candidate who hasn't officially started yet I am burying my head in the sand for now. Decided if she's great it'll mean I'm coming back to an easy smooth role (not too much stored up for me). If she's awful, then it makes me look good...

Para/Melly - Food basket sounds like a great idea. Perhaps you could make up one yourself(I did this for Xmas for my bro) from Waitrose or similar so that it contains lots of quick to make food for her and DH for the next few days...ready made pasta, soups, cereal bars, fruit and salad as well as some biscuits and cakes? Although now I type it, that does seem quite a lot, but if she appreciates it and returns the favour, it may make your life easier in a month or two!

Neenz - Love your birth plan - have copied some bits and like the idea of ensuring that things are discussed (incl the option to say no) first.

Enjoy the babyshow those of you that are going.

Upside down - happy birthday! and pmsl re. your vengeance... very funny.

Para/Melly - food basket is v g idea. After DD1 my neighbour brought me a massive box of home-made flapjacks. Apparently oats are very good for helping the breastfeeding. And they were v yummy instant sugar injection when exhausted too.

Neenz - great birth plan. I am writing an extremely comprehensive one too in case I end up in hospital. With my first (and second) baby I was very trusting of the medical staff at the hospital, and also didn't want to be a bother (aka 'one of those middle-class know it alls' or indeed, 'one of those people who do internet research instead of accepting evidence-based medicine'.) Unfortunately my trust was extremely misplaced and their casual incompetence nearly killed my baby the first time, and me the second time.

PP - sorry about your neighbours - what a stress. Love the dictionary idea though. Ever tried calling noise abatement? Last thing you want is them waking up your newborn with that racket...

Neenz there is no need to be about your birth plan. Mine is written on experince, I felt like I was stuck to the bed with my other labours as my contractions were so intense so I know an active labour doesn't suit me, DD1's heart rate dropped so I am happy to be on a monitor as much as needed, DD1 needed to be taken straight to the resus table and her cord had to be cut asap though the midwife still let dp do it. I am a person who tends to go with the flow anyway ( I rarley plan anything or think ahead!) and all I care about is having a live baby at the end.

Hello all, what a georgeous day, have just come back from an hour on the beach with DD, Dh now cutting grass and DD about to go to bed so can sit and read my book. What joy

sophiewd - sounds like a lovely afternoon. Have had some kind of tummy bug on and off for about 4 days so feeling rubbish again. any tips on what to do to get rid of it (apart from loads of water?) Its really starting to get me down

Enjoy your book Sophie

Poppy - try drinking something fizzy - coke, lemonade, lucozade.

My birth plan is a bit simpler this time around because I know how great my DH was at making decisions and being in charge. I also know that I'm rubbish at logical thought while in labour so I need him to take control of the situation. But more specifically, he's planning on making sure that:

• no morphine!!!! last time it made me feel worse and we felt very pressured into accepting it.
• other pain relief as requested (not ruling anything out - but hoping to avoid the epidural).
• the cord isn't cut right away (we had this last time).
• no one tells DH what the gender is and then he tells me (he loved seeing what DS was himself)
• I am concerned about tearing and would prefer an episiotomy if there's any concern
• That we try breastfeeding immediately and then right after, DH does skin to skin with the baby.
• Safety of the baby and myself is first priority at all times, over natural birth preferences.

Lemonade or tonic preferably flat is good for upset stomachs.

we had a change of plan and DD went wild in the garden for a couple of hours and is now flaked out on sofa, DH walking dog and then we are having fried squid caught by our local fisherman yesterday for high tea wuth her and going on to plaice for supper again caught by our local fisherman. Yummy,

sophie that sounds fab afternoon -am lolling on sofa , considering what colour to paint my nails as meant to be meeting friends for dinner (which I really dont fancy) later.

am drinking ribena now (and leaving lemonade to go a bit flat).

Aberdeen- I really like your last point so am going to use that shamelessly for my own plan. Wasnt going to make one but having read yours and started NCT classes think it may be slightly naive not at very least to have discussed things in a bit more detail with my dh (this is his third baby so he is a lot calmer/more experienced). I know perfectly well I won't be at my best.. when they discussed how you go feral during transistion stage and can be very angry, dh was concerned that this would look like one of my usual rants

Love the story about firing the placenta at the episiotomy doc! LOL

I know this not a nice thing to think about but I just can't get the fear of stillbirth out of my head. I suppose this is just normal? I had a MC as well last year so I suppose I still don't quite believe nothing is going to go wrong. I am reading all the books about how childbirth is the most natural thing and your body and your baby know what to do but still I am just terrified that something is going to go wrong...

And you know they are going to make Maria's baby stillborn in Corrie

(Thankfully long after our babies are born)

Neenz - I have the same fear - I think it's a very very common and normal fear.

Thanks Rolf, it's just so difficult to monitor the movements of both twins, sometimes I just don't know if both are moving. I see the MW every week now anyway so that will put my mind at ease a bit. And scan next Thurs will show if they have grown properly and if they have then I just have to trust that they'll be fine...

All this makes me nervous about my natural birth too but I know all the interventions don't necessarily make birth safer. And I think death of the baby during labour is actually very rare - usually it happens before labour. I just would never forgive myself if something went wrong.

Oh what a depresing thing to be thinking about! Sorry everyone.

Neenz, I totally understand where you're coming from on the worry front . Even to the point where I've considered just asking for an elective c-section to ensure my baby is delivered safely. I work in special needs and read some v distressing stories, that I sometimes can't get out of my head. Friends and family try to reassure, but like you, I've had m/cs and struggle to imagine that this wriggling little man is going to turn into a 'real' baby.

Hi everyone

Thanks for the birthday wishes and so glad you found my episiotomy vengeance funny - it still makes me giggle but always worry that I must be slightly unhinged.

Stillbirths really are uncommon in this day and age, but I think it's very natural. I can't get the idea of some kind of disability, caused eg by amniotic bands out of my head.

Can't believe it's been such a lovely day on my birthday! Normally it hails or rains, and it's never on a Saturday and the only sunny day in weeks!

DH, DS and I went to Waddesdon Manor in Buckinghamshire. We're great National Trust visitors - we enjoy finding out the history of the house and so on, while DS enjoys rolling down hills in gently landscaped gardens. Waddesdon Manor is great for anyone with small chidlren - it has a wonderful playground and we sat at a picnic table with table-top car racing. The house was built by the Rothschilds and is like a French chateau. DH had some nice wine, and DS and I had home-made ice-creams. Perfect!

Sophie, love the idea of your locally-caught fresh fish - I always imagine you having a life a bit like Hugh fearfully Wotnot in River Cottage and am very jealous.

Rolf, like your birth plan midwife point

PP - sorry about your neighbours. Are you definitely moving out after the birth now?

Poppy, I would second fizzy drinks - ginger beer might be good as ginger is good for the tum

Neenz, I think we're always going to worry - and it doesn't stop when we're holding our babies either - it's taken until lately that I don't creep into DS's room before bed worried he's not breathing (now I'm worried he's fallen out of the bed, but that's less scary).

Fortunately we live with modern medicine - which means that even though things still could go wrong, it's such a small chance compared with 100 years ago. I found all the care we got at the hospital last time very reassuring - they helped us have a non-assisted birth while making sure DS was safe - and that was the perfect situation for us! I really was impressed with the obstetrician who ended up delivering him and they were so professional that we weren't scared through the process.

Upsidedowncake - sounds like you had a fabulous birthday, are you going out this evening or is your DH cooking you a lovely meal?

Just trying to decide whether to go out or order in. DS aged 2.5 (bless him) is still able to sleep in his Maclaren on the flat setting if he's tired and the light is blocked; so we can (although haven't for a few months) go out sans babysitter.

Neenz - you're not alone in the stillbirth fear, I was thinking about it myself last night. Now that we're past the 12 week worrying stage and then the 20 week scan worry so this is the next obvious thing to worry about. I think it's at the back of everyone's mind but it just needs to stay at the back as the chance must be so low.

Upsidedown = glad you're having such a lovely day

UDC - glad you're having a good birthday

Poppy - hope you're feeling better.

Sophie - I also imagine you living like Hugh F-W! Very jealous of your freshly-caught fish. We don't even have a fishmonger around here (cue swooping violins...)

HFW I wish, want to go on one of his courses next year as he is not far from here.

Funniest bit if today now I remember was DD feeding Diddy the dog (real name Guinness) grapes and saying thankyou to him after eache one. It is what we say to her trying to get some manners into her.

Good morning everyone

It's a beautiful day here, which I'm pleased about, we have English ex pat friends coming over for lunch, they have 2 boys similar age to ours and a baby girl of 9 months - I think it was her birth that tipped me over the edge of broodiness last summer

They are bringing me baby stuff they don't need any more - hurrah.

How are you all feeling today? How was the baby show?

Morning all, upsidedown, belated happy birthday wishes! Sounds like a lovely day. (PS, can we have some tips on how to get that placenta aim just right please? )

Thanks for all feedback on birthplans - feel a lot better about mine now, and so what if mws/whoever do think I'm a middle class know it all? I'll probably never have to see them again afterwards anyway.

Laura, nice to see you yesterday, and ta for the creme eggs! DQ - sorry I missed you, but maybe another time.

Baby Show was ok - lots of tat! - but got a few good freebies and there were a few good offers on. Had quite a laugh with my chum at some of the horrendous stuff. Shame that the stalls with things I was interested in (slings mostly) were really busy, too small and not enough staff for a chat. Never mind. And am I the only one to think it was strange to find breastfeeding equipment stalls and maternity/nursing lingerie stalls staffed by blokes??!!! I'm sorry, but I don't want to discuss such things with middle aged men with beards!! Bizarre!

Debs, have a lovely day with your chums. I'm off to get dressed, get the Sunday papers and surprise DP with pancakes for breakfast.

Hope everyone else is good today, and not worrying about stillbirths and things going wrong. (Hard not to, especially if you're having really weird dreams like I am!)